Exit the attorney, enter the son-in-law...who is also evil!

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Posted: Mon Dec 02, 2013 10:55 pm

I've been stringing a lad along for a couple months and seem to have drained him of the easily-snagged piggies. His whining and pleading are getting pathetic...I've had to teach him where Hawaii is and how remote Molokai is and there's no western union and the bank manager won't help...yadda yadda yadda.

Now that he's melted to a whining puddle of lad-jello, he's received this:

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Greetings,

Is this the correct contact email for the delivery of the payment of $640? I am assisting him as he has had some trouble with the bank.

Carl
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And he replied:

Please you guy need to use the WESTERN UNION in the mainland to make the payment down to the Office, and only if Lou and you can make up your mind to travel down to the Mainland and locate western union outlet use the western union payment detail below.

-----
Not so fast, it's time for the fun to begin:

Thank you for replying my little Nigerian friend. I suggest that you read this ENTIRE message before proceeding any further. I have a very profitable proposition for you, however it is imperative that you understand. If your English is not good enough for this to make sense to you, find someone else who can help you. I promise that you will both be very rich.

I am Lou's son-in-law and he's asked me to help him. It is important that you realize that he trusts me and will most certainly follow any instructions that I give him.

First, let us get past the obvious. You are not an ambassador and there is no money for you to send to Lou. You are one of many thousands of Nigerian criminals sitting in cafes attempting to steal from unsuspecting fools. I know your 419 game, so please don't insult me by insisting that this is all "real". It's a scam and it's bullshit and we both know it.

Now that we both know who and what you are, there are two things that are going to be very important for your future and your potential riches.

1. Lou is a VERY rich old man. He sits at his computer in a huge house on Molokai and his bank account has MILLIONS in it that he is not sharing with anyone. He donates it to churches and homeless programs and all sorts of other crap and it looks like he will leave NOTHING to me when he dies, which should be soon. He has prostate cancer and will not last many more months. This is the last chance for both of us to empty his accounts and fill our own.

2. Because of his age, he's easily confused. He fucked up over and over while dealing with you and asked me to help. He gave me access to his email and I've been monitoring your progress and now he doesn't know what to do. I'll be happy to pretend to help him while you and I suck as much money out of him as we can. It will be a LOT of money as he believes that I have contacted you and have everything worked out to get him the millions from you. Remember, Lou's email is now controlled by ME and he will only receive messages from you when I allow it.

Here is my proposal, read it well and work with me and you will see more money than you ever imagined in your entire scamming life:

Forget about the stupid $640. Lou never managed to send it and the bank manager called me to try to figure out what the hell was going on. That's how I got involved and now we can work together. You will ask Lou for more and more money and tell him to confirm all of this with ME. I will pretend to investigate the fees and will tell Lou that he should give me the money for me to send to you. Once we have gotten as much out of him as we possibly can...or the old fart dies...I will send you half of what we have stolen.

If we work together and do this correctly, I am certain that we can get several hundred thousand US dollars from this operation. Maybe more.

So there it is. You can work with me and biggest the richest man in your little town or you can get nothing, which would be fucking stupid. I control this situation and you have no real choice, of course. We can do this together as partners or you can just crawl into the desert and die. Lou trusts you and believes you, so don't make the mistake of missing out on riches. Follow my instructions exactly and your scamming days can be behind you.

Are you man enough for this or are you just a child?

-----

Will the lad come around to my way of thinking and steal from a dying man rather than let the cash go to churches and charities?

Sorry...I know that was a dumb question.

I'll keep you posted on the latest dose of evil that has befallen poor Lou.

Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 10:17 am

I always enjoy these Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:10 pm

This one has promise! He dove right in after the first message from the son-in-law, the first time anyone has done so without a couple of feeble attempts to convince me that the funds are "real". He's chomping at the bit to get the big bucks.

Fun shall be had.

Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:15 pm

He's in it up to his eyeballs now and helping to screw poor Lou out of over $30,000 today. Once we get past this point, the lads usually start whining about sending them their share (my mother is sick, my son is dying, I have not eaten in three days, etc,) and I remind them harshly that they're getting nothing if they don't help me.

The fun part is the jump to a six-figure number on the next go-round. Then they get scared!

And I get abusive.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

You are cruel to poor old Lou but damned if it isn't entertaining to read the results.

Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:53 pm

Cruel?

Me?

You wound me, sir.

Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 12:02 am

Just because you said I was cruel, I'm gonna be. The lad is terminally dense and keeps trying to go back to the original money that I haven't sent him yet.

Here's a sample of some of the back-and-forth:

You start just slightly cruel: "I think I need to remind you that you don't make the rules here. I do. Lou will do what we instruct and YOU will follow MY instructions. The old fool will receive only those messages that I will allow and you have no choice in this. GET ON WITH THE PLAN YOU DUMB FUCK."

Then, we he says he's not happy with the whole plan, you turn the Cruel Meter up a few notches: "I really don't care if you're happy or sad. I'm not going to fly to Oahu for $2500, you dumb shit. The clock is ticking and YOU ARE WASTING TIME. Get rich or get nothing. If you're too fucking stupid to make this work, I can just wait for another fucking Nigerian in another fucking cafe to tell Lou he's a millionaire. GET TO WORK, YOU FUCKING IDIOT. You're wasting time and money and you're in no position to tell me to do a fucking thing."

And then, when he's completely frustrated and whining about being insulted and having no money, you turn it up to 11: "Our agreement is that you do exactly what I say, you follow my every instruction, and once we've sucked a huge pile of money out of that old asshole, I will give you half. Nothing more, nothing less. Until we are finished, you get nothing. You can make the biggest payday of your worthless life or you can keep this up and get nothing. There are countless thousands of criminals just like you and I get the STUPIDEST FUCKING SCAMMER IN NIGERIA."

Yup, cruel. So sue me.

boxer

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Beautiful stuff! Always stuck in small boi mindset. Actually it's a good thing that they can't fathom the possibility, even if it were true.

Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 10:23 am

Quote:

There are countless thousands of criminals just like you and I get the STUPIDEST FUCKING SCAMMER IN NIGERIA."

I think you always get the stupidest scammers. They always want to go back to the first payout. I can't wait to see this one published. I love Lou!!

Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 7:16 pm

These lads really are predictable. I've been slamming him around for days and now he has tried to tell Lou that I'm a bad guy, even though I told him I have Lou's email under my control.

Dumb as a pile of firewood.

Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 11:06 am

loualsindor wrote:

he has tried to tell Lou that I'm a bad guy, even though I told him I have Lou's email under my control.

I've always wondered why they never seem to understand that...

Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 6:28 pm

Hehehe...I think he's upset.

"And i am a native Africa i can kill you in spirit get that in your mind.

I can kill you in spirit don't fuck with me."

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:04 pm

loualsindor wrote:

I can kill you in spirit

Ooo. Scary.
They really do seem to believe it though...

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 5:55 pm

Well, he's done it now. He pissed off the son-in-law, who has found another lad to take our poor loser's place. Of course, our evil man is telling him how much money he passed up being stubborn.

Let's hope for a suitable response.

Cool

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