The Ditz and the Indian *NSFW (now with fourth bank account)

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Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 9:51 pm

I have a love lad on fish meet fish, and he just may be GOLD! After he sent his standard email I replied with the usual malarkey:

Quote:

hello Andrew,

I am sorry but I am only looking to meet other Australians.

I wish you well in your search,

Ditz

And then got this back:

Quote:

are you trying to let me think your being tribe concerned? like racism? I wouldnt like to discuss about that but what matter most is the love we are going to be given one another, you really looking cutie so I dieng to get to know you better, I am native American

Well I couldn't leave that alone, since the profile pic looks anything but Native American:

Quote:

Schatzi,

Pardon me, but english is not my native tongue and I do not always understand what you mean. Tribe? Was ist das? I meant I was hoping to meet someone local here, someone I could meet face to face. But native americans? Yummo, you sound hot.

Would you be willing to travel?

Ditz

I plan to include as many references to my fave native American... Felipe Rose of the Village people! Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

The Ditz finds all the fun ones! Love the VP direction.

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 3:59 am

Thanks Next victim. Fingers crossed a few shits and giggles come out of this one, will keep everyone posted

ETA: lad gets back to me:

Quote:

yes my sweet friend English isn't my native tongue either, my father was breed of native American Indian and Italy. so I have the privilege to speaks and write English better than the Italian language, what I meant by "tribe' is ethnic, your primary language? and I am happy to know where you are from. I will be willing to meet you, yes if that would be the best way of meeting you, then I will be willing to to travel to anywhere to meet you sweet darling. Email me your email address so we can interact with each other soonest through the email

Okies, here's my response, I threw in a few Village People references, let's see if he gets them. Bolding is mine:

Quote:

Schatzi,

I am from Germany and was born in Urolagnia near Hamburg. I met my soon to be ex husband while in Germany. He was in the navy when I met him, and after that he stayed at the YMCA while we dated. After we married we bought the farm I now live on and moved to Australia. I live in Yalbraith. Don't worry if you haven't heard of it, it's a very small place and it gets very lonely here. My gal pals sometimes come over and we go cruisin', but not as often as we would like. what do you do for fun?

You want my email address? Sure my darling niece set it up for me as I am not, wie sagt man? Tech savvy? Here you go.

<snipped, but the Ditz's email addy>

Italian huh? I wish I spoke it, it's a much sexier language than German!

Ditz

Oh and for our Foreign friends were English is a second language, Urolagnia is a love of golden showers Wink

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 6:29 am

Lad seems impressed he gets back three time in about ten minutes:

Quote:

That was nice to know, I was born in the United state, but I and my father n mother have been to Italy many few times before the late of my father. I love to place so much, their language is much more sexier than any language. wish i could still be younger like I was gone are those days when my father use to take me on trip down there. That was joke anyways, I wanted the real woman for me, the woman I can trust, rely on, who I can take wittiness for and stand for her anytime. I don't own any farm neither do my ex do. I work as construction supervisor for company called ccmc, they are from arab and they have branches all over the Europe, one in America, so the one here I have been made the supervisor for projects that comes our way. its time consuming when on project like the one we have to carry out in Lagos state, Niagera, its been few months here now, but its very nice to experience. just that when I am done with this I wont have any woman who I will be fallen into her arm telling me ' I miss you you darling' I hope everything has time and happen for reasons, if the reason for me having hard time to have that right woman is for GOD to prepare for me my own right choice of woman, then I 'll rather wait for his time. I love cruisin at the leisure time, when not working i spend much time home than anywhere, if the nature could allow us be together, then i be the one driving your gal pals and you to every part of the location and its environ

Then this plug for messenger:

Quote:

kathrine, you re sweet woman, I was just trying to find out if you are free to use the yahoo messenger, because i fond out your email was yahoo too, so that could be fasten and helps to elevate our conversation in order to learn more better about each other wants and dont wants...I still assume that your the beautiful woman I have ever set my eyes on. Thanks for you given me this privilege

And a request for plain email. works for me:

Quote:

Kindly e-mail me here so we can exchange email forth and back...mine is <snipped>

I'd better get back to him then. The Ditz of course doesn't know what Messenger is. In RL I had to double check for it, Yahoo has updated it's look a few times since I last used it. Bolding is mine Wink

Quote:

Was ist das messenger you talk about? I am looking on my yahoo page and I cannot see it, but I will keep looking. One thing though, my name is Kathrin, NOT Katherine. Kathrine in Germany is slang for "Donkey raping sh*t eater" (I love that South Park quote)! I was teased mercilessly as a child with that and it hurts me when someone calls me that, even unintentionally

If I find this messenger thingy I will let you know, other wise I will write to your email address

Ditz

He also sends a message to the yahell account

Quote:

thank you for given me the email address, I am sending the message to know if I am sending to the right email contact?

Andrew

I reply:

Quote:

Is this working? I wish sabrina was here to show me how this worked. I might ring her later

Ditz

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 6:33 am

The "REAL" native Americans that I know when they greet you always say-

"Yat ta hay,white man."

This one probly say"hey gumbaa,hows ye teepee hangin?????"

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 6:50 am

This one's English is god awful! NO native American could THIS bad surely! Shocked

ETA: IP Address Lagos Nigeria. Damn it , he's nowhere near the Village People! Crying or Very sad

ETA: Lad gets back to me via yahell:

Quote:

I think so too, maybe she can put you through on how this work better. I can't wait to have chatting conversation with you, email is better if that is all cool by you. Now can you tell me what you wanted in man or in a nut-shell in me? I really needs to know a lot of you my dear new sweetheart, I expect more of us and deep in ground as far as our relationship is concerned. I thank you

Incidentally, a quick look at google maps brings up Lagos island, in an area that looks awfully familiar, even to someone as stupid as me. I think I've baited lads from there before Wink

ETA my response:

Quote:

Schatzi,

I am looking to begin again like my screen name suggests. Someone who will treat me for me, and not for my tits. My soon to be ex husband has left me for a 19 year old, so I looking for someone who will be faithful, and not try to steal my money.

when I was younger I was a model in my native Germany, and I managed to save up a tidy nest egg, even after buying the farm. I plan to sell it if I win the farm in the divorce case and move closer to the city

what about you?

Ditz

ETA: Lad gets back to me, despite being about 3am there:

Quote:

I am looking for eternity relationship, I don't think money should be first and only priority in any relationship, though money has its onw rules which it plays and that should be secondary in the list. I don't have much money, but I have lived to learn that the little you have should be contended with it, sooner or later the little will turn to surplus with hard work and plenty of focus which had led me to find myself in so many allen lands to work my ass off. Not for money wise only but to gain more ideas, exposure, learning what the out side world has to offer and bringing out the similarity in languages bareer motivates me a lot about my job. As you can see I'm not in to steal your money. I don't know why he leaves or leaving you after 19 years did he just fond out something about you which made him change his mind or what? I'm sure your are still very much beautiful just the way you were while in younger stage, if I was to have you while younger I
bet won't dream or think of letting go of you, the more you add years, the more your beauty comes in glamor. I cherish your beauty each minute I sees the profile on the site. Pls send more pic of you so I can have it save on my laptop so as to enable me seeing and having your image in my mind each time I think of you. Muahh

Andrew

I respond, with an explanation on why Nick left her. Bolding and comments are mine:

Quote:

Andrew,

I was totally faithful to him, I even changed countries for him, despite getting incredible homesickness. And then he met that Hussy, that 19 year old slut! And nick my soon to be ex husband left me... For a a 19 year old MAN! (that Nick Nolte, always dropping the ditz for another man...)

I cried myself to sleep for such a long time, I was inconsolable. Then my darling niece suggested I get an email account and join the 21st century! So she took me down to Goulburn and helped me choose a computer and setup my yahoo account, she is such a joy given I have never had children of my own! My biggest regret is not having children, so I spoil sabrina, who is my sister Helena's daughter.

Just between you and me they fight a lot, which is why I think Sabrina likes me! sabrina tried to explain this messenger thingy over the phone but it didn't make sense. So she is going to drive over from sydney once exams are over in a few days and help me set it up.

I'm so happy, I could shit! (there's that John Waters quote again)

I haven't felt this excited in years!

ditz

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 1:36 am

Our indian gets back to me, ignoring my request to not call me a donkey raping sh*t eater (in RL, I just found a Mr Slave Collectible complete with Gerbil, so the desire to include south park references is increasing):

Quote:

Dear kathrine, sound like you went through a lot and that was so bad that a man could have consider leaving you for some 19 year old slut, what for? And also your son to be ex husband left you too? I'm lost in the middle cos you further more explaining reason for your biggest shit is not having a kid of your own. Where is the ex to be husband son came from? I understand sabrina someone's daughter, also why don't you have any kid of your own? Why didn't he let you have any kid of yours? Was there any reason for it or diseases biding you from having kid? I'm skeptical and worried so much over this. Does the dr say anything about you not being able to conceive? If not then do you still think you can have kid aside from the perspective of orthodox or outhopox meaning are you still able to conceive as a woman? I will be willing to give you kids and let's us have babies and grand-babies too if that suits you let me know. I m happy that she makes you feel alive
by taken you out to get computer and set up the act for you, if not by that we wouldn't be here now talking to each other and getting to know each other in this exciting manner. I swear your such a diva..like shining star your too beautiful for every man to jeopardize with your love. Muahh

Andrew

Ummm wha??? Iget this the next day at 1.06pm (presumably my time):

Quote:

Hello dear

And this at 6.09 pm:

Quote:

I must confess that reading from you has a great impact in my life, but when I heard not from you bring sour and bad thought to my thinking entirely, I'm freaking scared that you left me lonely. I miss you kathrine

A request to write at 3.30am this morning and this from fishmeetfish:

Quote:

I am happy now reading from you I was so much worried when it took you log time to write to my email. Yes I was talking about the yahoo messenger and its easy and less of stress when talking on instant messenger. I would love to call you kathrin, I am sorry the other spelling means another silly thing in Germany,I wish I could speak german better but having you at my reach then I will be more comfortable learning the language. I hope to chat with you on messenger and also read in my email from you. I love you sweetheart.

Let's see if stops calling me that! ETA My reply:

Quote:

schatzi,

I will remind you on fishmeetfish as well, but PLEASE do not call me katherine, every time you do it brings back the taunts of a difficult childhood, where I was called that every day! And how would you feel if several of your peers called you a donkey raping sh*t eater!

I would love to write to you forever, but I am not a young woman anymore! And the internet here in Yalbraith is spotty where I live. The NBN rollout hasn't commenced here in yalbraith and with the new Government wanting to disband the NBN we probably won't get superfast broadband here. So please be patient with me, I will write as often as i can schatzi.

I wanted children from a very young age, but a modeling career beckoned. I thought I had plenty of time, but my career lasted well into my thirties, and when I met Nick he lied and said he wanted children as well, not telling he had a vasectomy and was therefore unable to have children.

And then he left for that 19 year old boy Christopher. what does a 19 year old boy have that I don't??? Nick makes me so angry sometimes!
Sabrina arrived late last night and said something about messenger being full of perves and scammers and that Ich überlasse es verdammt allein! I trust my darling Sabrina implicitly, but I am torn. I don't know if I should use it, I want to but it sounds dangerous.

what do you think?

Ditz

Lad is on fish meet fish:

Quote:

I am sorry Ditz and I wish I could call you another name cos I would really love to go more with you in the relationship and I never wanted anything to depart us from each other. I am sorry the mistake almost ruin this affairs. I am sorry Ditz. I miss you so much

I add this:

Quote:

Ditz is perfect schatzi! It's just that I was tormented mercilessly as a child and my soon to be ex husband Nick also used it a lot.

it is good to hear form you schatzi

Ditz

And this in the Yahell account:

Quote:

Kathrin,

I promised to never call you by that name anymore, though I never knew it was that awful meaning in German Language. I love to apologize to you and maybe show it to you physically, but as it is now I dont think I would be able to do that, but right from my heart I am sure and believe that you would accept my apologies. I love you with my heart and mind more than anything, despite we just meeting I have been feeling like we have met in the long past time. I wish I can be right there with you.

Why would your Husband accepted being with a Boy? I was thinking he eloped with a woman, does this means he wanted the gay relationship? Why could have been so daft to leave you for one stupid boy? I am nit happy for this because I realize that he necer wanted you or loved you, if a man has two relationship it means the first one has no place in his Heart, maybe he was wrong hurting you and I wish I could burst his testicles now. Oh My Gush! Thank you for trying to get the yahoo messenger working and I think your girl "Sabrina" told you its kind of dangerous to be on yahoo, anyway ever since I have my yahoo account, I have been using the email and maybe I wouldnt know if the messenger hurt as she claimed, but as per what do I think I guess that you should let us try itr out or we can continue talking on this email exchanging email time to time. I wouldn't want you doing what you don't really feels like you want to do. I wish I could let you have Children, your so way too beautiful and I want our kid to be your own replica. I will wait for your response. what does schatzi means?

I send this back:

Quote:

Scahtzi is a German term of affection. It means treasure

I've been using it for so long, I had to look it up! Wink

Lad is impressed though:

Quote:

Wow I cant belive this, so you calling me your Treasure Ditz? I would love to be that for the entire life, you are so loving and gorgeous I mean too much for a man to wake up the next morning from slumber to go to another man and share your love with them, I wish I was the lucky man to have you from your youth age, anyway its never too late for us my love

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 2:58 am

I decide to start a new post as the previous one is a bit cluttered. I get back to laddo and pile on the Village people references, I even mage to fit in a reference to Sylvester! Bolding is mine:

Quote:

Schatzi,

it is how the Australians say "never too late". I want a macho man, not just a sex over the phone, I want every night to be a magic night, where you can't stop the music and party until 5 o'clock in the morning!

Oh schtazi, I am what I am (Apparently the Village people DO have a version), but you make me feel mighty real (Go Sylvester)! are you the action man I've always dreamt of? I hope so schatzi.

I love you to death,

Ditz

Lad also send this from fish meet fish:

Quote:

I am sorry he does that to you and did you let him know that the spelling wasn't that perfect as you just did let me know that Kathrine is not the right pronunciation or spelling for your name? If he knew that why would he still call you Kathrine instead of Ditz? I think he has no love for you because if he does then he wouldnt have any shit calling the right name. I love you and miss you from the bottom of my Heart

I send this back:

Quote:

schatzi,

In hindsight, I wonder how of Nick was about love and how much was about money. I managed to make quite a lot of money as a model and as my soon to be ex husband he is now trying to claim a share of it.

He also wants half of the money from the sale of the farm

Ditz

The lad writes back, clearly he loves sylvester:

Quote:

My Love Ditz, I am that man you have always been dreaming of and I want to wake you from sleep and face the reality because you have spent so mcuh time dreaming and the reality is more important in order to respect your dream. I think the time spent with your ex was just all dreaming time with no result of possitive but my own case is quit different and I think we can have the very last minute we have on earth share with with each other, you sound so great and I think I can complete that your quest and search in a man. you mean so much to me and I love you with all my heart

It's a good thing I downloaded the Village people's discography Wink

Again I pile on the references. bolding is mine:

Quote:

Schatzi,

I feel so ashamed, I have never asked about your situation it has always been me, me me. Now I won't take no for an answer, you must tell me everything about you. Sometimes I think a get away holiday and maybe go west.

it's mail like yours that makes me think I am no longer a lonely lady who should spend more time in the street. when I read your emails I feel like a complete fox on the box, get a radio freak out to funky music and dance! Everybody loves the funk, right?

Again tell me everything Schatzi.

Ditz

My god, this man is a TYPING MAchine!!! Damn I work hard sometimes... Cool

:

Quote:

How could a man of Honor even think of doing such? its damn shit and not good enough to let happened. I wish to know more alot from this story, why is he getting or trying to claim share? Who requested for Divorce and is cheating from your marriage? I think he is the one doing that, and leaving you for the 19year old boy. i wish I could just appear there to kick his balls for him to let him understand a woman isnt treated in that manner. I love you my Sugar

Kick him in the balls??? Surely there's a Village people reference for that!!! I send him this back, as usual bolding is mine:

Quote:

We married in 2000 and have lived in the farm I paid for. Nick wanted to make wine but it never happened. Under Australian law he is entitled to half of everything because we were married for so long.

I will miss this farm, but I'll be damned if I'll let him half of the money for it. He left me, was unfaithful, I wish could say to him "Just give me what I want" und raus aus meinem Leben! Sometimes I wish I had the strength to say give me a break. I know nick and I had our ups and downs, but Christopher??? He left me for THAT??? Nick doesn't know the meaning of the word sophistication!

I am thirsty schatzi, it is time for a milkshake!

Ditz

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 3:00 am

Quote:

I wish I could burst his testicles now. Oh My Gush!

Hahahaha... Oh my Gush!!! Evil Lol

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 3:02 am

Quote:

Why could have been so daft to leave you for one stupid boy?

If it were two, would that been okay?

Quote:

"Oh my Gush!"

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 3:44 am

am thinking oh my gush should be part of a new email siggy. I haven't updated it in a long time Smile

And lad continues to be a typing machine:

Quote:

My Sugar,

you are right its been you always and I think that is what I wish to be doing, putting you first on the list so I believed that is just the way a woman should treated, because every queens are being placed on the list of every Kings. I will tell you about me as I have told you about my work and the places I was designated to work as far as my duty as supervisor is concerned. I am a man with strong heart, soften mind and easy going type. I love walking hand in hand with my wife in public, caressing and kissing so everyone who passes bye would have an hint of our hot and reliable relationship probably marriage. I was into relationship that lasted couple of years and the ex was is good friend now, we were getting along better years back when she deliberately told me she wanted no more sex, she was sharing the apt with me and the son until Wayne my son got admitted into the college, he is 16 years old now. His mom reject love making, the affection wasn't there no more, but one thing I respected her for is that she got no other person to do the sex things with. She was counsel by the Dr and several therapist and they fond out there are some hormones in her body system that controls the sex drive in her, but the hormones are weak and cannot not longer performs their major duties, so it led to rejection of sex and affection, it wasn't that funny nor easy to over look, its been almost 9 years now, but we separated some 2 years back because she wanted me to be feel satisfy and live my life to the fullest, she never feels so cool seeing me being deprived of my chances to live my life, such as sex, affection and passion to love and be loved back. We agreed on going our part ways since she couldn't get me what I wanted by Husband and herself as a Wife. She is good friend as I have mentioned above and she still have the motherly feeling for our son. I think this will tells you who I am and How I live and run my race. Seeing you makes me feel like life life is kind of hell place where something happens for shit reasons. I love you the very first time I saw your profile and I never never regret meeting you my goddess. I love you so much.

Andrew

Fortunately I got a bit of time. Lad makes the Ditz abit hot under the collar:

Quote:

Schatzi

All I can think of as I read this is do you wanna spend the night? oh schatzi, I picture you dressed up as a hot cop or a fireman, and I'm so on fire I'm on Fire Island! I want go give you that magic night, in fact you are now my fireman, weil du mich so heiß machen!

I know I may sound a little sleazy here, but I feel so much liberation when I read your emails, I am reminded that we are both citizens of the world and not just this tiny little farm I am desperate to sell

I want to fuck till well after five o'clock in the morning Andrew, that's the power of the night

Ditz

I get this via yahell:

Quote:

Sugar,

I love you so much, i wish to be under same blanket together tonight caressing all your body by rubbing it from the back, bringing the breast off the bra and suck it socculently, you soon to be ex husband doesnt have the idea of what he is about to lose and that is the fact that i will be treating you as my queen all the time my lovely wife,, I cannot not wait to remove your panties and put in my hard 8 inches fat cock

And this from Lad via fish meet fish;

Quote:

wow, i am sorry my Sugar, yes he must be daft to know understand what that means. When are you getting rid of the farm, how much is it going for and how much did you think would go to him under the Australian Law? I am here waiting for you as you leave to prepare milkshake!

I wonder if I should try to rejoin the todger club? the ditz sends this back: Twisted Evil

Quote:

schatzi,

I am so horny right now, could you send me a picture of your c*ck? I just want something to look at when I picture you making love to me

ditz

lad sends me this back:

Quote:

its already wednesday there 3pm and its 51-am here wednesday morning

according to time and date.com it is 10.27 pm tuesday in talbott tennesee where our lad claims to be. It IS 5.27am in Lagos. I then get a screenshot of a white penis, not enough to claim todger status again, but enough for the ditz to think he may not be an indian after all. He then sends a request for her nude shots. while there ARE nude shots of international chrysis, i decide the Ditz is suspicious:

Quote:

schatzi,

That thing is huge, but it is VERY pale. Are you not well? It looks like a white man's penis and not that of an American Indian

You're not trying to fool me are you?

Ditz

The ditz knows her penises!!! Wink

Lad is indignant! He sends some stolen photos of his character along with this:

Quote:

fool you? am sative americab

And then these:

Quote:

how can i ever fool you, i m bative american sugar im sure very soon you would see this as soon as we meets

As well as this:

Quote:

i m not much well because of the time invested and devoted to my work presently so from the look of my cock you woukd know i miss pussy my love

I couldn't resist (Not that I even tried). I just HAD to have a go at his manhood!:

Quote:

Schatzi

You have said you are Native American it is why I decided to talk to you and not others, but that Penis is so WHITE! maybe you used that photo instead of your own because you are ashamed???

Schatzi, I would love you no matter how small your manhood is. Don't be ashamed, you can send me a photo of your small native american penis. I promise not to laugh. It's not the size, it's what you do with it that matters.

And you are my fireman! I do not care how small your hose is!!!

Ditz

I received his message after sending mine

Quote:

Schatzi,

I do not understand. Wie können Sie Ihre Arbeit machen Ihren Penis weiß? I was a man i would quit that job, no job is worth turning your penis white!

If I was there, i would make it my life's work to turn it red (raw) again

Lad is NOT happy:

Quote:

My sugar, please do not emphasize much on this matter, the cock I sent you is my pic okay, I am not ashamed and my ex told me I wasnt enough too when she still have her senses of sex working fine, I was never ashame so why and how could I be now. I dont know what is the matter now, do you have a lot of cocks experience in your youth stage? I am sorry because the way you are accusing me of not sending you my pics makes me feel like she must have had a lot of cock for her to be convince which is mine, how is hell would I have taken someone else pics? what could I have told them I was using it for ? I am little bit worry now but for the love I have for you, I will never worry so much..I love you

So I sent this back. Seems the ditz puts out:

Quote:

schatzi,

I was a model, of course I had a lot of sex when I was younger. Contrary to popular belief, not all male models are gay and I had sex with all of them.

I lost count after the third year, but it was in the three hundreds somewhere.

let us just say I KNOW how to please a man schatzi

Ditz

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 5:06 am

300

Hussy

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 5:15 am

am thinking oh my gush should be part of a new email siggy. I haven't updated it in a long time Smile

And lad continues to be a typing machine:

Quote:

My Sugar,

you are right its been you always and I think that is what I wish to be doing, putting you first on the list so I believed that is just the way a woman should treated, because every queens are being placed on the list of every Kings. I will tell you about me as I have told you about my work and the places I was designated to work as far as my duty as supervisor is concerned. I am a man with strong heart, soften mind and easy going type. I love walking hand in hand with my wife in public, caressing and kissing so everyone who passes bye would have an hint of our hot and reliable relationship probably marriage. I was into relationship that lasted couple of years and the ex was is good friend now, we were getting along better years back when she deliberately told me she wanted no more sex, she was sharing the apt with me and the son until Wayne my son got admitted into the college, he is 16 years old now. His mom reject love making, the affection wasn't there no more, but one thing I respected her for is that she got no other person to do the sex things with. She was counsel by the Dr and several therapist and they fond out there are some hormones in her body system that controls the sex drive in her, but the hormones are weak and cannot not longer performs their major duties, so it led to rejection of sex and affection, it wasn't that funny nor easy to over look, its been almost 9 years now, but we separated some 2 years back because she wanted me to be feel satisfy and live my life to the fullest, she never feels so cool seeing me being deprived of my chances to live my life, such as sex, affection and passion to love and be loved back. We agreed on going our part ways since she couldn't get me what I wanted by Husband and herself as a Wife. She is good friend as I have mentioned above and she still have the motherly feeling for our son. I think this will tells you who I am and How I live and run my race. Seeing you makes me feel like life life is kind of hell place where something happens for shit reasons. I love you the very first time I saw your profile and I never never regret meeting you my goddess. I love you so much.

Andrew

Fortunately I got a bit of time. Lad makes the Ditz abit hot under the collar:

Quote:

Schatzi

All I can think of as I read this is do you wanna spend the night? oh schatzi, I picture you dressed up as a hot cop or a fireman, and I'm so on fire I'm on Fire Island! I want go give you that magic night, in fact you are now my fireman, weil du mich so heiß machen!

I know I may sound a little sleazy here, but I feel so much liberation when I read your emails, I am reminded that we are both citizens of the world and not just this tiny little farm I am desperate to sell

I want to fuck till well after five o'clock in the morning Andrew, that's the power of the night

Ditz

I get this via yahell:

Quote:

Sugar,

I love you so much, i wish to be under same blanket together tonight caressing all your body by rubbing it from the back, bringing the breast off the bra and suck it socculently, you soon to be ex husband doesnt have the idea of what he is about to lose and that is the fact that i will be treating you as my queen all the time my lovely wife,, I cannot not wait to remove your panties and put in my hard 8 inches fat cock

And this from Lad via fish meet fish;

Quote:

wow, i am sorry my Sugar, yes he must be daft to know understand what that means. When are you getting rid of the farm, how much is it going for and how much did you think would go to him under the Australian Law? I am here waiting for you as you leave to prepare milkshake!

I wonder if I should try to rejoin the todger club? the ditz sends this back: Twisted Evil

Quote:

schatzi,

I am so horny right now, could you send me a picture of your c*ck? I just want something to look at when I picture you making love to me

ditz

lad sends me this back:

Quote:

its already wednesday there 3pm and its 51-am here wednesday morning

according to time and date.com it is 10.27 pm tuesday in talbott tennesee where our lad claims to be. It IS 5.27am in Lagos. I then get a screenshot of a white penis, not enough to claim todger status again, but enough for the ditz to think he may not be an indian after all. He then sends a request for her nude shots. while there ARE nude shots of international chrysis, i decide the Ditz is suspicious:

Quote:

schatzi,

That thing is huge, but it is VERY pale. Are you not well? It looks like a white man's penis and not that of an American Indian

You're not trying to fool me are you?

Ditz

The ditz knows her penises!!! Wink

Lad is indignant! He sends some stolen photos of his character along with this:

Quote:

fool you? am sative americab

And then these:

Quote:

how can i ever fool you, i m bative american sugar im sure very soon you would see this as soon as we meets

As well as this:

Quote:

i m not much well because of the time invested and devoted to my work presently so from the look of my cock you woukd know i miss pussy my love

I couldn't resist (Not that I even tried). I just HAD to have a go at his manhood!:

Quote:

Schatzi

You have said you are Native American it is why I decided to talk to you and not others, but that Penis is so WHITE! maybe you used that photo instead of your own because you are ashamed???

Schatzi, I would love you no matter how small your manhood is. Don't be ashamed, you can send me a photo of your small native american penis. I promise not to laugh. It's not the size, it's what you do with it that matters.

And you are my fireman! I do not care how small your hose is!!!

Ditz

I received his message after sending mine

Quote:

Schatzi,

I do not understand. Wie können Sie Ihre Arbeit machen Ihren Penis weiß? I was a man i would quit that job, no job is worth turning your penis white!

If I was there, i would make it my life's work to turn it red (raw) again

Lad is NOT happy:

Quote:

My sugar, please do not emphasize much on this matter, the cock I sent you is my pic okay, I am not ashamed and my ex told me I wasnt enough too when she still have her senses of sex working fine, I was never ashame so why and how could I be now. I dont know what is the matter now, do you have a lot of cocks experience in your youth stage? I am sorry because the way you are accusing me of not sending you my pics makes me feel like she must have had a lot of cock for her to be convince which is mine, how is hell would I have taken someone else pics? what could I have told them I was using it for ? I am little bit worry now but for the love I have for you, I will never worry so much..I love you

So I sent this back. Seems the ditz puts out:

Quote:

schatzi,

I was a model, of course I had a lot of sex when I was younger. Contrary to popular belief, not all male models are gay and I had sex with all of them.

I lost count after the third year, but it was in the three hundreds somewhere.

let us just say I KNOW how to please a man schatzi

Ditz

Lad sends two more messages:

Quote:

My sweet Sugar, I would have love to quit this job, but I am not okay yet, I am willing to work so that I will have more than enough for us at the time when I m not going to be able to do anything, I want to work so that these people would know I worth remembering while I am not longer working in their firm anymore. I am a man of honor and integrity with utmost fate. I love you so mch and I cant jeopardize you for anything in this work, I might quit this job only for you my love, but then we have to be sure our future is secured. I understood you managed to save some a lot money, but I shouldnt rely on that my love, might need help from me financially and I might need from you too. Ability to bring ups an effort in order to aide each other at the needy time shows how much we really love, care,want, never want fall-back for each other. I love you more than a million fold

And this:

Quote:

did you mean you had sex with about 300 men while in the model business, send pussy pic pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee

Of course I meant that;

Quote:

No I said I LOST COUNT of the number of men I had sex with at 300, there were much more than that Smile

And I have attached a picture of my pussy Smile

Ditz

I attached a photo of a naked lady who's vagina is obscured by a kitten!

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 5:17 am

^^^^

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 5:30 am

Thanks somebuddy. Let's just say if I was to do a trivia night on the Village People I have MUCH better chance of winning than I did this morning!

And lad is CLEARLY worked up, he sends this back after I sent him the kitten:

Quote:

this is not pussy stop toying me

So i send this back along with a pretty sexy shot of International chrysis:

Quote:

I am sorry schatzi, but I could not resist, it is such a cute little kitten! you do not like kittens? I love kittens, when I am old I will be a crazy cat lady.

Schatzi I have guests arriving soon, so i cannot take a pussy shot. here is a sexy shot of me I took just for you! I hope you like it

Ditz

Lad is still wound up and wants to relax:

Quote:

i want to relax now will talk when guests ae gone so take the pic then and send

what a pity the guests won't leave for days Wink

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 3:46 pm

Quote:

I attached a photo of a naked lady who's vagina is obscured by a kitten!

Hahahahaha.... That cracked me up!! Laughing

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 7:25 am

Lad sends me an email asking if the guests have left yet. Come one man it's THE DITZ!!! This girl knows how to party!!

He also sends this!:

Quote:

Hello Dear,
how are you doing there fine I hope my love, ,missing you is like a part of me is being cut off and that is killing me whole-heartedly. where have you been, what have you been doing and I hope everything is fine with you? I think I should just let you know how much I am missing you and wishing to be there with you all my life, write me asap please my sweetheart

One good email deserves another;

Quote:

No schtazi they are still here! it is a four hour drive to Sydney and ninety minutes to the nearest town. We stocked up on bubbly and are still partying hard.

f*ck I'm drunk! And I wish you were here to f*ck me!

Kathrin

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 2:37 am

Lad seems impressed the ditz is a raging alcoholic:

Quote:

Oh my gush! I wish I was there with you and f*ck the heck out of your pussy, I like champaign too and it energize my body to be able to have the charisma to carry on for as long as I can accommodate my pleasure also I'm so proud of you now and for ever for driving that far please I urged you not to be too drunk because its not fair to drink and drive @ the same time. I love you my Sugar love you ditz

I send this back:

Quote:

Schatzi,

Do not worry about drinking and driving. Here in Yalbraith there is nothing to crash into, it is so remote. But when I said we stocked up on champagne, I was talking about crates worth, NOT bottles.

we are still partying

Ditz

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 4:23 am

After reading "Pee's 50 Shades of Twilight" I am so happy to the Ditz! Laughing

oh wait, it should be Evil Lol

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:22 am

Thanks Somebuddy, but that's Phil's bait. He was kind enough to let me in on the fun.

And speaking of fun lad seems impressed with the Ditz's drinking abilities:

Quote:

Wow you must be enjoying out there, I wish I was there re you telling me you been partying for the past days now taken crates of champangn? Good to know anyway and I think your just enjoying yourself dear

ho hum. I'd better think of a way to up the ante

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 2:05 pm

Glad to see you updated your siggy. Oh my gush!! Lol cracks me up every time!

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 2:56 pm

I like it as well, it's fun. I send this back to lad:

Quote:

schatzi,

we are still partying and the weekend has just arrived. it's a good thing we bought crates, we're down to our last six, let's hope they last the weekend.

I don't know if it's the Alcohol talking but my gal pals Mitzi and Felecia want to see your cock. Can I show them?

Ditz

ETA... Lad isn't happy about sharing his (stolen) cock picture:

Quote:

Remember the cock is only meant for you and did you think showing the cock to them wouldn't want them to cry for wanting to have it in their pussy either? Would this sound or looks as if I'm trying to share what belongs to you with others? If you won't be mad maybe you will let them see it, rememver I haven't seen any of your pussy let alone of showing to others, I probably won't do that anyway.

Andrew

Too late

Quote:

OOPS,

Felicia says it's a bit small. Mitzi agrees it's a bit pale.

sorry schatzi

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 3:54 pm

Quote:

Felicia says it's a bit small. Mitzi agrees it's a bit pale.

Ach du lieber Himmel!! Wink

Oh, I can't wait to see how he reacts!!

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 4:14 pm

He reacts the same why all misogynistic pricks do... ARROGANTLY:

Quote:

I agreed and it just the fact that I havent seen the pussy, when I am right beside the pussy then I will make you scared cos it would be much bigger than what you seeing and what was the thickest size of cock you have ever taken in your entire pron life?

ETA... the Ditz is NOT a happy chappy. seems she slips into badly translated google german when she's angry:

Quote:

Andrew,

Are you implying that just because I have slept with a lot of men that I am a porn actress? That is completely unacceptable!

Sie wissen nicht, wie verdammt wütend, dass macht mich! Du bist wie alle anderen Menschen, die mich behandeln, wie ich eine Schlampe bin. Deutschland ist ein Land emanzipierte MR MAN und wir sind im 21. Jahrhundert.

wenn Sie sich zu mir vor, eine Schlampe zu beschuldigen, dann können Sie einfach verpissen!

Oops

Lad gets back with the rather sheepish:

Quote:

never was i saying that just wanted know the biggest one?

the ditz is smashed. and responds in badly translated german:

Quote:

Viel größer als die winzige Garnelen du mir geschickt hast. Und warum ist nicht dein Gesicht auf dem Bild? Es ist ein weißer Mann den Schwanz nicht wahr?

Seien wir ehrlich, wenn du so viel Sex hatte, wie ich Sie bekommen eine Menge über Penisse zu lernen!

Fick ich bin betrunken

Let's see if lad bothers to translate it... Suspecting he's too lazy to translate, I send him this:

Quote:

Andrew,

We're out of here. we're driving to Sydney. I'll email you when we get there in about four hours

Ditz

up next, the car crash Lad gets back, I knew he was too lazy to translate the German:

Quote:

Please my love don't srink and drive okay, if you must drink do not driveand if you must drive do not drink. I really want the b est for you and can't wait to be there with you for eternity. When will you have time to write me..love you

I send this back:

Quote:

I'm not driving, Mitzi is. Felicia's puking out the back seat, I can hold my liquor, now where's the f*cking keys???

Lad is concerned... About his payday:

Quote:

Great be caution tell anyone who is driving to never drink too much cos of driving reasoning. I wanted the best for you nothing but the best okay?

It's okay, Mitzi can handle her booze, she's fictional:

Quote:

who's f*cking phone is this? don't worry schatzi, Mitzi can hold her bubbly, she's only had two bottles. And Felicia's stopped throwing up. sydney here we come. due in at eight am

sent from my iPhone

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 6:00 pm

Quote:

Felicia says it's a bit small. Mitzi agrees it's a bit pale.

OH.MY.GUSH! (I love that saying and stealing it)

Evil Lol

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