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Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I had to follow your lead on that one since sweatfart might have been a bit too much. I caught the Funky bunch reference seeing the name you used.

Quote:

Hello Angel, what have you done to me? Not a night has passed that I don't have you in my dreams. And not a moment has passed that you are not in my thoughts. What magic you've done, Darling, but I guess my feelings have made their way to you in the form of dreams. Angel, you are my happiness, Dear, and my adorable darling.I miss you so much. I want you to hold me so much. When time allows, and we can be together the way we want to, I'll hold on as if it was my last mission. I miss you so much.You are my future and nothing can ever keep us from our destiny. A morning greeting doesn't only mean's good morning,it has a silent lovely up. That say honey is the sweetest substance on earth and therefore i willcall you honey, because you are the sweetest person on earth to me.if a star would fall every time i think of how i miss you, No one could ever give me what you and I have together because our love is one I love you, and I will be yours forever.

Aloha baby! I am such a lucky girl.

Kiss
Anita

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 11:35 am

Communication with this guy might be best accompanied by a single malt.seriously, could he even find his way to Western Onion?

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

^^^I normally have a few of those Breakfast of Champion malts by the time this one comes on but It does make it a bit rough to reply to him. Trying to keep the mails simple and type slowly so he can understand them is a bit difficult when you are in the midst of typing longer mails to others. A total shift in pace.

Quote:

Honey,
How are you doing i miss you so much , i can wait to see you .
sorry you did not hear from my in time my laptop crash yet to
repair my queen am here right with friend own so i pass message
to you .
we really nee to plan how we can meet and stay for the rest of life,
so baby right now what are your plan ?
Thanks,
yours husband,
Mark,

Aloha Mark! What happened to your laptop baby? 3.2 virus or something? I hear that one is terrible around the weekends.

Kiss
Anita

Quote:

Honey ,
yes it crash .......i don,t no where to start my love am confuses , do you hear from our son?

Aloha again my sweaty! I have read nothing from our son since Friday. What is confuzzling you?

Kiss
Anita

Posted: Mon May 13, 2013 11:42 pm

I really don't know why but I keep at it:

Quote:

You still Drunk Sweaty?

Love,

Candy

I guess he doesn't like like that:

Quote:

Honey,
How are you doing i miss you so much , i can wait to see you .
sorry you did not hear from my in time my laptop crash yet to
repair my queen am here right with friend own so i pass message
to you .
we really nee to plan how we can meet and stay for the rest of life,
so baby right now what are your plan ? how can you say such if am drunk again .
Thanks,
yours husband,
Mark,

Best console the poor Lad:

Quote:

Hey Sweaty,

I think it's cute that my Man gets Drunk and sends me love messages!!! What Girl wouldn't?

Love,

Candy

That seemed to work:

Quote:

Baby , what are your plan i can wait to see you soon ....i miss you so much .

Honestly I just don't know what to say:

Quote:

Hey Marky Mark,

Aww plans can be so Flabutastic no? Lets meet and get our inner Hootch on.

Love you SweatHeart,

Posted: Sun May 19, 2013 11:10 pm

This Idiot keeps on coming:

Quote:

Honey ,
sorry you don,t hear from me my laptop crash , i did not travel with any that was why i could not able to contact you baby i miss you so much. i can wait to see you soon my love.can i have your number my queen ?.

I can't wait either Marky Mark! What a Funky Bunch we'd make! Candy does love her Man:

Quote:

hun so sorry bout that Plane crash! We could get Drunk and be Celibate right?

The Poet Laureate De La Latrine sure does come through with his wit and wisdom:

Quote:

Ok baby if you say so fine ....i miss you so much ,can i have your number baby?

Almost makes me wish for a VLad! Might as well encourage him just a Tad:

Quote:

Marky Mark,

My Big strong Man lets take this slow okay? Tell me about your day. If you are a Good Boy I'll send U my number.

Later Sweaty,

Candy

Posted: Tue May 21, 2013 11:56 pm

He sure takes his time doesn't he? I suppose he is looking for the right words:

Quote:

Hahahahahahaha honey you are so funny if am a good boy yes my love i'm, how are you doing my day was fine sorry to for late reply my queen . my day was so fine and nice and yours my love i miss you so much.
I was so busy with the job at hand .

What in the Blue Plate Special is so Funny? What job? I could go on....

Quote:

Marky Mark My Sweaty Darling,

Hun you know how to charm the pants off a Girl don't you? I think we are gonna have a real good tome together.

Love Ya,

Candy

PS - What are you wearing?

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I must have upset him since I would not give Ben my number. He hasn't said anything since my last post.

Posted: Wed May 22, 2013 10:12 pm

^Probably not a big loss!

Quote:

Honey , Oh no you where there i love to chat with you my queen .

Huh? I'm supposed to be the confusing one here Mark!

Quote:

Marky Mark,

My Scallion! You are gonna be great to Rope and Brand! Tell me more Cobweb!

Love Candy

Posted: Sun May 26, 2013 8:41 pm

My Darling wasn't responding so I give him a poke:

Quote:

Hun am worried! Get back so we can have some Sexy Time.

Luv,

Candy

Sho Nuff he responded with the usual Wit and Wisdom:

Quote:

Oh no my love happy to hear all that from you yes i need you my queen, how are you doing .
baby i have busy with my contract work coming soon, how can we meet ?

Why do I bother? Because I care that's why!

Quote:

Marky Mark,

You use such Sweat words as any cunning linguist knows. Don't stay where your to come where I'm at! I'm so exfrabulated!

Luv,

Candy

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

^^^

Posted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 8:52 pm

Marky Mark is Back from the Dead and Ready to Party but sadly he can't remember is own name. Please be careful here as he has started to use sentences. Not sure what that's all about:

Quote:

Hello Honey,

My Love, i am so sorry i have not gotten had the chance to write you any message, I had a three months contract with Etisalat Communication Company and i have been out for the contract and will be staying away for three months until after the contract, so that i can earn enough money to meet with you and to make our dream come through.. Internet is not too stable here so please my love try to send me your mobile number so that i can be reaching you on phone for steady communications.

Your Husband
Mike

How Sweat it is! My Husband Mike wants to go steady!

Quote:

Aww Hunny,

It's so great to hear from My SweatHeart!!!! Please tell me more!

Love,

Candy

Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 11:41 pm

Mal De Tete keeps on it:

Quote:

Hello Honey,

please my love send me your mobile so that i can call you.

Your Husband
Mike

Candy is quite obviously Smitten:

Quote:

Hay Mikey Mark,

My Sweatest of them all! OooH you make me want to so much more but less is more too okay?

Luv,

Candy

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:44 pm

Dumber than a Bag of Hammers is really insisting upon Candy's phone number for some reason. I doubt he even knows how to use a phone let alone has the energy to push all those buttons:

Quote:

Hey Dear,

Yes, it is because we are just getting acquainted, that we need to hear each other's voice so send me your mobile or which ever number you have to send at least to prove your existence.

Mark

Hey he remembered his name this time! Perhaps he is evolving? Nah that's just silly talk! Either way, I really need to figure out how to change the radio station in the Truck:

Quote:

Mikey Mark my Luv,

You have ways to a Gals Heart my Sweaty one! Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but here's my number so call me maybe?
( K7)

Luv,

Candy

Edit for Spelling and Bolding of that Fricking Song lyric just so that I can hopefully pass it on.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

Quote:

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but here's my number so call me maybe?

I will get even!!!!
Damn song is stuck in my head now.

Posted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 12:50 am

He actually called my K7 twice. Sadly there is nothing to post but I seldom have Lads call unless they are really hooked.

Quote:

Hello My luv

I tried to reach you on phone, but your number was on answering machine so please try to let me know when best to call you

How Sweat it is!

Quote:

Marky Mark my Funky Bunch Lover Bum Cake. when you trying to call? A Gal needs her Beasty sleep but am here now!! Needs your Sweat words now cause am so Confragulated!

Luv

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I have seen nothing of loverboy but my son is writing again.

Quote:

my mum

Ben Benben

5:41 PM (14 hours ago)

Reply
to me
mum what have i don to you and dad you can now forget about me?

Aloha my baby Ben! I did not forget you honey, your father seems to have fallen off the planet. I have not read form him in weeks dear. I guess he found you a different Mum.

Kisses
Mum Anita

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Quote:

Dear mum ,
how are you doing , i 'm so happy to hear from you .going to month now i haven't read from him too ,i don't now what is going on with him out there i pray he should fine where ever he is mum.
right how my exams is coming up soon i need some money here in school , i do send him mail no reply pls try and make him understand as soon you contact him .
i miss you so much don't forget me i love you mum.
your's,
son .

Aloha my son! I don't know what to tell you about your father honey, he doesn't seem to care much for writing either of us. He didn't even bother telling me he would be away. Study hard and do good on your exam.

Posted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:00 pm

He went away on me so I went fishing a few minutes ago. I don't know if it will work or not but I just had to get a certain song out of my head (Thanx GL):

Quote:

My SweatHeart,

I miss you and and want Yu Bring back that loving feeling, oh that loving feeling. Bring back that loving feeling, now it's gone, gone, gone. And I can't go on, no oh oh.

Luv,

Candy

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

great song!

Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 10:19 am

Righteous, brother.

Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 9:21 pm

Uh oh Bonehead is mad at Candy:

Quote:

hello,

ii am not happy with you at all and that has kept me a little aways from you, the number you gave me has not always been reached and also on vioice message in a man's voice so please i want you to send me a number that will be reached and i can speak to you direct so that i will know that you are real

Candy decides to express her feelings through the Magic of Song:

Quote:

Marky Mark My Sweaty One,

What are you talking bout? All you do is hang up when you call Hunny! I just got a new phone so I haven't recorded my greeting is all but I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye,never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

We've known each other for so long. Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it. Inside we both know what's been going on. We know the game and we're gonna play it.

Luv Candy

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

What a lazy little git we have here. He is stuck in that phone mode. Does the end of that number look like Marky?

Quote:

Mum,
thank you so much , am happy to see your reply here.
mum i need your help here am ask to pay for my practical exam the some of $300 us dollars this is my phone number here 176 you can sms me on phone cos i don't have laptop. mum sorry for all this.
your's
son.

Aloha my baby! I am sorry that you don't have all the things you need. Seems your father is a rather irresponsible person buying you a phone instead of a computer. You need to speak with your father about this money son. He doesn't talk to me so I guess he could care less.

Kisses baby
Mum Anita

Posted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 1:04 am

^You started screwing with this Idiot towards the end of April but I see both of us getting Sandtimers from him. It'll be a first; twenty or so messages in a year!

Quote:

hello,

Anyway i know i am telling you the truth, because i really do want to hear your voice, maybe you should check your number again to know if you did not make any mistake in the number you gave me

mark

My number works just fine Thank you Monsieur Le Douche! Perhaps I can illustrate my Love more better:

Quote:

Marky Mark,

I done be telling you thats my number but you just hang up. We have a dream we'll go travelin' together and spread a little lovin' if we'll keep movin' on; somethin' always happens whenever we're together . Come on, get Happy. A whole lotta lovin' is what I'll be bringin' I'll make you happy My SweatHeart!
Luv,

Candy

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

That is quite possible. I think Ben may be a bit quicker on the game.

Quote:

Hello ,
Mum you can use just cos my dad to action to me that way am your son , how are you doing i miss you so much you have show me your love so i can forget you .you need to try your best anything you can help with send to me.can i send you my receiver name and address?

Aloha baby! I do not fault you for your fathers irresponsibility dear but you need to be writing to him. He is not responding so he is obviously laid up with some other woman. He needs to man up and take care of the responsibility he has to you. I don't think he really loves me sweetheart.

Love you son
Mum Anita

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Quote:

Oh no mum don't do this to me your son ,with out he can you take me as your's?

Aloha dear! Your father adopted you dear and you need to hold him responsible. Write to him for the money.

Love you babe
Mum Anita