Quoth the Raven

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Posted: Wed May 08, 2013 10:53 pm

Well it all started with this:

Quote:

Hello Dear, am Sophia Graham. am single and searching for a serious relationship with you. please email me at [email protected] so i can send you my pics.

Trucker Mals just hadsta reply:

Quote:

Hey there Sophia,

First let me tell you how hot you are. You sure a looker that's for sure!!! If you keep sending me pictures I think I can be the Man you is looking for.
Little Missy I'm a Long Haul Trucker who is needing a new Seat Cover anyway plus I'm getting real tired of those Lot Lizards. You'll make a fine O.L.
So I'm 10-10 on the side cuz my Dinners up at the Choke and Puke.

Back at ya later once I hit Hog Town,

Mals

That oughta make the Gal with the Raven hair and Raven Riley Pics swoon by Gawd!

Quote:

Hello Mals,

Good morning to you, I got your e-mail and sorry for writing back late.I am also sending my recent pics. I hope you love it..

Pls send me an email with some copies of your pictures. Here is little more about my self. as i said before am 31years old a sales distribution as occupation. i have a bachelor's degree from the university of Liverpool,i studied accountancy, I am 5.11inch tall, with brown eyes color,dark hair color.

I will appreciate if you tell me more about yourself.Life is full of success and failures,but even successful man or woman have failed before.So feel free to tell me about yourself.

In this life Trouble arrives in measures,and we stack it up real high, until we're convinced, we have no reason to try. If you feel defeated,you're absolutely wrong, for if you follow your dream, you could never lose for long. Ignore the minor set-backs that pile up and trouble you, or you will build a mountain, out of the stones hurled at you. The future holds great promise, your destiny unknown, but God is always helping, and you're never alone. Soar bravely toward your goal.Let nothing darken the way. You can change your tomorrow, if you seek your dream today.

From your email i can see you are sincere but i just want you to know my intentions before getting deep into this relationship.

As i said before i am looking for true love,but there are some things i consider before accepting that date. I am not impressed by men who'd offer wealth without happiness. Though money may be great, but you can't go wrong,if you find a man whose arms are comforting and strong. You should look beyond the cover, delve deep inside the book; for there's a measure of a man that's more important than looks.

He should have ears that listen and eyes that are kind; he should have a warm heart and an open mind. He should be accepting even if he doesn't understand. This is the type of man i am looking for.

My question is can you be that kind of man for me?

Hope to hear from you my dear.And remember to send me some picture of your self and tell me more about your personal life.

This is my yahoo id ( [email protected]) so that you can add me to yahoo messenger for a chat.
If you don't have a yahoo id or messenger,you can also download a yahoo messenger so that we can chat.

Yours,

Sophia..

Wait a minute there Little Missy! Where's the Reverend Father? And don't forget about the Refugee Camp okay? Actually I was wrong as I assumed that this was a Senegalese Script from the onset but no Mals got himself a new O.L.

Quote:

Hey there Miss Sophia,

Those photos sure are something else!! wow!! You make the old feller move around. I signed up for that yahoo thing so I'm [email protected]. Don't use it before though!

You got any more pictures there Little Lady? I want to see so much more of you.

Got my ears on,

Mals

Little Missy kept going back and forth for a while with this sort of stuff. The Pictures kept flying in although they were much tamer than I would have hoped:

Quote:

Hello Mals
Goodday to you and thanks for your lovely email.I am most impressed to get a mail from you.
I am willing to know much about you and hope we can build a great relationship. I am sending you more photos of me and here is my chat ID so that you can add me for a chat. [email protected]
Here is a phone number to reach me.
+4470 xxx xxxx
I am hoping to hear from you soon
With Love

Sophia

Sophia has really been pushing for Chat sessions so I just had to oblige. Sadly the first and most Awesome I might add, pulled a Kaiser Sose and disappeared. I've skipped a few of Sophia's Scripts just because we've seen them all before:

Quote:

Hey there Little Lady,

Yeah I had me a great sleep thinking about you! That chat made me feel like you was there with me in my Rig. Dang I sure wish that were true Honey.

You are the Prettiest little Road Muffin that I ever laid eyes upon there Sophia! How did a Gruff Old Trucker like myself ever end up being so Lucky?

Talk at ya soon my Spunk Wallet. Gotta head over to Yukon before my Reefer has a melt down.

I got my Ears on,

So me and my New O.L. Finally got it on in Chat:

Quote:

Raven:: Hi honey

TruckerMals: Hey there Baby!

Raven:: How are you doing today

Raven:: Are you home honey

TruckerMals: I'm doing just fine Maam. Sure loved those pictures!

Raven:: Am glad you love them

Raven:: Are you home honey ?

TruckerMals: No I'm a long way out in Oklahoma now.

Raven:: So you left new york yesterday

Raven:: Are you chatting with a computer ?

TruckerMals: I'm using my old lap top Baby. I wasn't home either but on the road.

Raven:: So you have a little old laptop

TruckerMals: Yeah. What you using Honey?

Raven:: I am using a little netbook

TruckerMals: Gotcha Missy.

Raven:: So what makes you happy in a woman

TruckerMals: Lots of things I guess. I like when they treat me nice.

Raven:: That's nice

Raven:: But do you like to treat a lady nice

TruckerMals: You treat me like I'm Special! I like that!

Raven:: It should be from both side

TruckerMals: I try to be respectful but sometimes I can be naughty.

Raven:: I treat you special and you do the same

Wow

Raven:: Are you very naughty

TruckerMals: Sometimes Yeah.

Raven:: Do you love naughty things

TruckerMals: Yes Maam

Raven:: Tell me something naughty

TruckerMals: Oh I don't know about that. I don't wanna offend my new Gal.

Raven:: Go on tell me

Raven:: We need to be open

Raven:: No pretence remember

Raven:: Be truthful to me

TruckerMals: Well then let me tell you, those opictures made all excited like. I had trouble controlling myself.

Raven:: Like what did you do

Where you having erections ?

TruckerMals: Pleasured myself is all.

Raven:: Can I ask a question

Raven:: I need a sincere answer

TruckerMals: Yes Maam.

Raven:: Do you have a girl friend

TruckerMals: No Maam.

TruckerMals: Do you have a Boyfriend?

Raven:: Why don't you have a girl friend

Raven:: I don't have a Boyfriend

TruckerMals: Oh I don't know. Probably cause I'm away from home so much.

Raven:: I broke up with my ex 8 months ago

TruckerMals: Sorry to hear that.

Raven:: Ok honey

Raven:: My ex was not a good man

Raven:: He doesn't treat me right

Raven:: Hope you treat me right

TruckerMals: Thats too bad. I like all ladies to be treated right.

Raven:: I also have plans of coming to meet you in the states if we agree to be together

TruckerMals: I'd like that! Wow!

Raven:: So if you really want to be married we should be together and make future plans as family

TruckerMals: Yeah that'd be nice.

Raven:: Tell me what your plans are

TruckerMals: whatcha mean Darling?

Raven:: Do you have any plans for marriage

TruckerMals: I'd like to and settle down witha Fine Woman.

Raven:: Have you made plans to buy a house in the future ?

TruckerMals: Yeah I gots the money but just haven't met the right woman yet is all.

TruckerMals: Can you give me a few minutes Honey? I'll be right back.

Raven:: Ok honey

TruckerMals: I'm here again.

TruckerMals: Sure do like chatting with you!

Raven:: Where did you go honey

TruckerMals: My order was up at the Truck stop. Just got me a BLT.

Raven:: What BLT

Raven:: Ok

Raven:: I hope I don't ask too much question honey

TruckerMals: No you don't ask too muc of me. A BLT is a Bacon Lettuce and Tomato sandwich.

Raven:: Ok

TruckerMals: You'd like them Baby.

Raven:: I was asking if you had plans of buying a house and settling down with your wife.

Raven:: I guess I would like them

TruckerMals: Yes Maam. Ask away!

Raven:: What's the time now honey

Raven:: Are you inside your truck ?

TruckerMals: Yes I am.

TruckerMals: Its just about 11:30am. Why you ask Honey?

Raven:: I just want to know the time difference honey

TruckerMals: What time is it there then?

Raven:: 4:22pm

TruckerMals: Can I ask you a personal question?

Raven:: Yes you can

TruckerMals: Its kinda silly but I'd like to know what you are wearing.

Raven:: I am in the shop now

Raven:: So I am officially dressed for work

Raven:: Blue skirt and a white shirt

TruckerMals: Sounds pretty.

Raven:: When I am home we can talk naughty

Raven:: I know you are naughty

TruckerMals: I like that!

TruckerMals: I bet you got naughty pictures too.

Raven:: We can exchange naughty pic later on ok

TruckerMals: I like that.

TruckerMals: You sure are a Pretty little one.

Raven:: It would be great fun I guess

Honey can I ask a question

TruckerMals: Fire away Baby!

Raven:: Why do you call me a little baby

Raven:: It's funny

TruckerMals: I'm sorry. You are jsut such a Sweet little Gal is all.

Raven:: Lol

Raven:: That's nice

TruckerMals: I'm glad its not offensive.

Raven:: I am always happy chatting with you

TruckerMals: Me too!

Raven:: Tell me about your family

TruckerMals: Can you give me a few minutes. I gotta go Hang the Hog.

Raven:: Ok honey

TruckerMals: Sorry bout that.

TruckerMals: Not too much tell about my Family. I was an only child and both my partents have since passed on.

Raven:: Sorry about that

Raven:: Do you have any siblings ?

TruckerMals: No Maam.

Raven:: So you are just alone

Raven:: Right

TruckerMals: Yes Maam.

Raven:: You are not alone anymore

Raven:: You got me now

Raven:: I am yours

TruckerMals: Thats sweet my little Baby Gal.

TruckerMals: I like the sounds of that

Raven:: We can share our thoughts , love,pains ,tears together

TruckerMals: Ain't never really done that before.

Raven:: You told me that

Raven:: But now you got a new girl

Raven:: So you are not alone anymore

TruckerMals: I think I'm done smitten there Honey.

Raven:: Me too honey

Raven:: When do you always go to be

Raven:: Or do you drive at night ?

TruckerMals: Oh I drive as much as I can but don't really have to be anywhere now.

Raven:: So you do sleep in a motel when you are tired or what

TruckerMals: Lots of times I use the Sleeper in my Truck cause its cheaper but sometimes I spring for a fancy hotel too

Raven:: I guess you don't have to meet girls there too

TruckerMals: Not getting you Maam

Raven:: I mean in the hotels when you decide to stay in a hotel

TruckerMals: I've met some in my day but no one permanent like.

Raven:: Did you have sex with them

TruckerMals: Well yeah I have but that don't mean nothing.

Raven:: Ok

TruckerMals: Sorry little Darling but sometimes we all need Friends of the Road.

Raven:: I hope you don't do that anymore now that you got a girl friend

TruckerMals: Don't you worry bout that Little Lady!

Raven:: Ok honey

Raven:: I just want us to be open minded and sincere to each other

Raven:: That's what I want

TruckerMals: Now I gotta meet another Trucker up the Interstate a bit so I should turn this Rig Around.

Raven:: I great and honest relationship

TruckerMals: Yeah I sure do likes the sounds of that! Sides getting tired of the Pickle Parks anyways.

Raven:: So are you about driving now

TruckerMals: Yeah I had best put the Hammer down till I get to Yukon.

Raven:: Ok

Raven:: So when do we get to chat again honey ?

TruckerMals: I'll talk at you real soon Little Baby Girl and if you got any really naughty pictures for me I'd sure love to see em!

Raven:: Ok honey

Raven:: I would do that

TruckerMals: I'll check up you in an hour or so if you'll be around?

TruckerMals: Bye Bye. Over and Out!

This one is a bit more articulate than I'm used to but hey I'm sure He'll be Dumbed down before too long....

Not quite a Newb Joined: 13 Apr 2013 Posts: 61

Quote:

Spunk Wallet

Posted: Thu May 09, 2013 11:37 pm

^I was a bit nicer today.

So I arrive at work and Whatevertheheckhernameis is waiting to chat. Try to imagine TruckerMals as a calm version of R.D. Mercer:

Quote:

TruckerMals:Morning Little Lady.

Raven:Hi honey

TruckerMals:I missed you litle Lady.

Raven:I miss you too

Raven:Where are you now

TruckerMals:I'm still in Oklahoma but will head out East in a bit.

Raven:Ok honey

Raven:Give me 2 mins to attach pics and send to you

TruckerMals:Send them to my Gmail okay Darling?

Raven:Check now

Raven:I sent it

Raven:How is work going so far

TruckerMals:I was on a bit of a lay over cause my hours was up. Let me take a look see at them pictures.

Raven:Ok honey

TruckerMals:You sure are Pretty!

Raven:Thanks for the compliment

TruckerMals:Not a compliment but the truth!

TruckerMals:I like honesty.

Raven:Thanks honey

TruckerMals:whats that food your serving up in the Kitchen?

Raven:It's rice and salad

TruckerMals:Hard to see specially when I sees that little Dress.

Raven:Do you miss being with me

TruckerMals:Yeah a whole bunch I do!

Raven:I guess you have been driving a very long distance all day

TruckerMals:Not so much yesterday later on but it will be a bit of a haul going towards home.

Raven:Will you be going back home today ?

TruckerMals:No I won't make it that far but I'll put a miles on thats for sure.

Raven:So when will you be back home

TruckerMals:I should be home on Friday sometime.

Raven:I guess you miss being home

TruckerMals:Yeah I guess but there ain't no one there for me either.

Raven:So when we are together you will miss me or we would drive together

Raven:I guess it would be fun right

TruckerMals:Yeah it would be fun!

TruckerMals:Hey there Little Baby can you give me a few minutes?

TruckerMals:Sorry I'll be right back.

Raven:Ok honey

TruckerMals:Sorry bout that Baby.

Raven:Ok honey

Raven:Are you busy now

TruckerMals:No not really just had to talk the the DOT feller for a minute is all.

TruckerMals:So do you like cooking?

Raven:Yes I am a good cook

TruckerMals:I like that. You always dress that way in the kitchen? Cause if you do I'll never be late for Supper.

Raven:Really

Raven:That would be great

TruckerMals:Yeah it sure would.

Raven:So I guess we would have a great time living together

Raven:Have you had breakfast ?

TruckerMals:It would be a change for me but I think I'd get used to it real soon like.

TruckerMals:Had a Toasted Western and some Biscuits and Gravy Maam

Raven:That's a nice meal

Raven:I think you got a great appetite

TruckerMals:Whats your favourite food Little Baby?

TruckerMals:I got an appetite now for more than just food.

Raven:Italian

Raven:Spaghetti,toasted tukey and salad

TruckerMals:Sounds good. I like it if you cooked them things for me.

Raven:Honey you know I will always cook for you and make you happy

Raven:What else would make you happy ?

TruckerMals:Oh I don't wanna sound to crude there Little Lady.

Raven:Go on honey

Raven:Tell me about it

TruckerMals:Aww okay. I now just wanna see a bit more of you is all then I'd be a happier feller.

Raven:You wish we make love right

TruckerMals:By God yeah!

Raven:Do you want us to be together real soon

TruckerMals:Yeah then I'd wear your bumper out real good.

Raven:It would be great if we are together soon

Raven:We can make love and be happy

Raven:Do you want kids

TruckerMals:Then I'd get to see whats under them pretty little dresses.

TruckerMals:I'd like a few yes Maam I would.

Raven:Hmmm

Raven:Do I also get to see what's under yours

TruckerMals:Oh Hell Yeah but I don't wear no dresses.

Raven:You wear trousers right

TruckerMals:Yes Maam. Usually jeans cept when I dress up a bit and put on my good Khakis

Raven:So I could also see what's inside your jeans right

TruckerMals:Now your making me Blush but I'd like that.

Raven:Are you having erection

TruckerMals:My my you do ask lots of personal question not that I mind Darling.

Raven:Am so sorry to ask you questions

TruckerMals:No thats okay I just not used to being so intimate with Lady Folk is all.

Raven:Do you want me to ask questions as I wish

TruckerMals:Yes Maam I sure do!

Raven:You make me happy

Raven:Do I also make you happy

TruckerMals:You make me happy too!

TruckerMals:I just hope I'm not too crude for a Classy little Gal like yourself.

Sometimes I just say and do the wrong things

Raven:I love the way you always make me feel

TruckerMals:I like that!

Raven:So I am always happy with you

TruckerMals:My Little Baby I think I'm falling for you like a Bear in the Air with no Rotor on.

Raven:So why don't you tell me naughty things or how you feel sexually

TruckerMals:I feel like I'm ready to splode all over right about now.

Raven:I wish we where holding each other and kissing

TruckerMals:Yeah but I gets the feeling we'd be doing more than that!

Raven:Sure honey

TruckerMals:I gotta hit the Gate going 98 but I should be clear by noon around here.

Raven:We have to plan if you are serious about me coming to the states

TruckerMals:Yeah I'd like that but I need to get moving now Little Baby.

Can I check on you in a few hours?

Raven:Ok honey

Raven:That's nice

Raven:I will wait for you

TruckerMals:Thanks Baby. Could you also do me one more little Favor?

Raven:What's that ?

TruckerMals:Hope you don't get Mad but I'd like to see what you look like under all them clothes.

Raven:I will send you any pic you request but you have to prove to me that you are serious about a relationship with me

TruckerMals:Its Okay Little Darling I understands.

I'll back on out of here but I got my Ears on!

Raven:Ok honey

TruckerMals:Just remember I ain’t never been serious bout no relationship like this before.

Raven:I will send you a pic ok

Raven:Love you

TruckerMals:. Over and Out Little Lady!

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Trucker Man your so lucky. You get all the hot seat covers. I'll bet she a squonker too.

Put the hammer down son and watch out for them alligators. I'll be hangin 10-10 on the side.

Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 11:13 pm

I had done told My Little Baby Doll that I wouldn't be chatting for a few days cause I had to get clear of some town so she sent me a real teaser of a photo. Yeah I know I can Google these pictures myself but why bother when you have someone to do it for you?

Quote:

Hello Mals
Good morning to you and thanks for your email.
I will definately miss talking to you for the period you will not be able to chat.
Please write back as soon as you get my email
I attched some pics for you to see
With Love

Sophia

Attached was one shot of Raven in an Slutty Bikini so Trucker Mals just had to comment:

Quote:

Hey there Little Baby Girl,

That picture sure don't leave too much for the old imagination does it? Can't say I've ever seen a Little Lady in that kind of Bathing suit before no I haven't! Why I'd say its smaller than most skivvies Gals around wear around my neck of the Big Slab. Can I ask you what that shiny looking Bauble is hanging out of your Belly Button? One day one the Female Truckers that all the Fellers call Large Marge cause she was quite a hefty Gal was showing off her Belly Button and it had something shiny in it too. Turned out to be nothing more than a Nutter Butter Wrapper though.

It's got me thinking that you are a real keeper yes it does! So maybe we might want to make this all official like if you get my Charlie Forty? I'm certainly missing you and think it would be real nice to have me a Gal who could warm the seat if you copy.

Little baby I had best get me some Forty Weight then go and water the tires. You keep them pretty pictures and nice words heading my way and I'll be the Happiest Driver in all of this land.

Keep your Donkey covered,

Mals

Large Marge:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RryZV8NK9-Q

This Lad isn't really into Email but likes to do most 'Business' over chat. I did spend quite a bit of quality time today with him but that'll have to wait until I get clear of The Big Apple and finally make my way home. Too bad I'll be driving a Wiggle Wagon clear on into Shaky Town by Tuesday!

Oh the Lad wants me to send him an unspecified Birthday present so at least things are heating up. For seem reason I don't think Trucker Mals will be sending it to Liverpool though. Could be wrong. Keep yer Ears! Over and Out!

**I am not making Fun of people who drive for a living! Tis is merely a persona based upon R.D. Mercer, My Okie Brother in Law, C.W. McCall and other Truck Driving Hit Makers. Actually I have several Friends that do this for a living and none of them speak like what I am portraying. Mind you they do talk kinda funny....**

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Quote:

Turned out to be nothing more than a Nutter Butter Wrapper though.

You'll pay for that one cowboy. Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Roy Dam Mercer? Whoda thunk that! Just how big an old boy are you?

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 8:00 pm

^I found out about Phil and Brent 10 or so years back from a co-worker. His In-Laws live a block away from mine in Edmond. Small world.

Anyhow my favourite Mercer line (one I used on a Lawyer Feller too) is: 'Thelma Jean's gonna Mop the Floor with you and Mop it again with you for leaving a Yellow Waxy Build Up!,

For anyone who doesn't know what the Heck I'm on about here's Roy picking an a particularly nasty Pro Wrassler:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nRsyM7XbQvo

Meanwhile TruckerMals is kinda excited by the Ravens Bubble Bath Photos:

Quote:

My Little Lady,

You certainly outdone yourself there. By Heck you is the Sexiest thing I ever laid eyes on! That picture is so perfect and its just for me? Wow!!! I had a few Beers so I don't want to be too rude but you need me in that tub with you Darling! Looks likes there's lots of room for two!

I gotta back out of here before I say anything too nasty but you make me the happiest Man in the whole World by sharing that with me. When we meet, I will show you just how much I appreciate it too Little Darling!

Now you cover up them Puppies so they don't get Frost Bit cause I figure I'll be putting them to some real good use!

Love,

Mals

Sadly I don't get too much response from this Lad as everything is a Chat; hours of it.

Quote:

Hello Love

Hope you are almost home now?
I wish you a safe trip home and hope to chat with you soon honey
Love you so much

Sophia

Mals is just about home. The Lad wants to do a live Camera Chat in about five minutes time so I'm not sure how that will go but he does have plenty of Raven's videos to work from; just as I have plenty of electrical tape to cover all of these pesky cameras:

Quote:

Hey there Little Lady,

I sure am real close to my home 20! Had the pedal to the metal for a few hours now and had a real clean shot! Not a single Paper Hanger in sight either!

Yeah I'd sure love to chat again real soon too plus see some more of that Pretty Little Frame of yours. By Gawd just to think that it is for my eye only too. Makes the Old Feller move around if you get my Charlie Forty. I'll be back at you real soon cause I'm just coming around the Pike now so after I pay the water bill and get a cup of Forty Weight I'll have my ears on.

Over and Out there My Little Tater Tot.

Love,

Mals

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 11:01 pm

10-4' good buddy.

Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 10:25 pm

This Bait has turned into 99% Chat and most of it isn't very interesting. It looked like I was handed off to another Scammer over the Weekend but it consisted of "You Don't Love Me"/ "Send Me Money!" etc.

It seems that I've been handed back to the original Scammer again. By the way it's her Birthday and she knows a Jeweller in Lagos and only wants $500 for a bunch of Belly Button Janglers....

Quote:

TruckerMals:You there Little Lady?

Raven: Hi

TruckerMals:Hi there Darling. You been having a Good Birthday?

Raven: Without you it isn't good

Raven: Please give me few minutes

Raven: I will be back

TruckerMals:Aww I know there my Precious but we'll be together soon enough don't you go worrying bout that!

just gotta go water the tires so I'll be back in a just a few shakes of the Dogs tail.

Raven: Honey

TruckerMals:Hey there Little Baby Doll where's you get to?

Raven: I went to get some cakes

TruckerMals:You mean like Little Debbies or Twinkies and such?

Raven: Yes love

Raven: Did you get my email

TruckerMals:Sure do like them things. Sure goes good with a cup of Forty Weight!

Raven: Lol

TruckerMals:I'm just about to leave Beantown here and get into the Hammer Lane

Raven: Ok

TruckerMals:Tell me what you got planned special like for your Birthday.

Raven: Just a dinner party with neighbours

TruckerMals:That sounds nice. Whatcha having for Supper?

Raven: Varieties of dishes honey

TruckerMals:Maybe some of that Fish Stew that you like?

Raven: Yes some of them

TruckerMals:Beantown is known for making a fine one but just never did have a chance to sample this time around.

Raven: That's nice

Raven: When are you sending funds for my. Gift v

TruckerMals:Soon enough we'll be sharing a big bowl of it together Little Baby Doll.

Raven: That would be so sweet

TruckerMals:I'll be checking in tonight once I get my Wiggle Wagon clear of the Cloverleaf thats for sure. Sorry to be such a Ratchet Jaw but you sure aint saying too much today.

Raven: I am just missing you

Raven: And wish you where here

TruckerMals:Same here Little Lady. Remember though, you oughta be here next week.

Raven: Yes

TruckerMals:Then I'll never need to worry bout no Truckstop Hookups ever again cause you is my new OL!

Raven: That's nice

TruckerMals:It sure is Little Darling! It sure is!

Raven: I asked a question and you never answer me

TruckerMals:Whats that Baby? Now you got me all curious like!

Raven: When are you sending funds for my. Gift

TruckerMals:I sure did answer that but I guess you didn't get my Charlie Roger. I gotta get clear of this old town and find me a good Truck Stop that has them sorts of facilities.

Raven: Ok honey

TruckerMals:Sometimes I don't express myself quite right I guess Baby Doll.

Raven: I understand honey

TruckerMals:Thanks there Little Birthday Gal.

Raven: Did you write down the WU info I gave you ?

TruckerMals:Yeah Baby I got it around here someplace don't you worry that Pretty little head of yours. Specially today since you are the Birthday Gal!

Raven: Ok my Love

TruckerMals:You be around later so we can chat some more? I really need to put some miles behind if I am gonna clear this Break Check of a town before Dark.

Raven: Ok honey

Raven: I will stay awake to chat with you okay

TruckerMals:Sounds real nice. I'll back on out of here now and catch you on the Flip Flop! Keep your Ears on Darling and I'll do the same! Over and Out!

This one stays on line most of the time so I'm thinking they work in shifts or just don't sleep. I can be assured of finding my little Darling waiting around 9PM EST.

All for now Catch you on the Blacktop!

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Quote:

TruckerMals:I'm just about to leave Beantown here

Next time your out this a way give me a shout out and we can get together and share some 40 weight.

Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 12:41 am

^Thats a Big 10-4!

I used to haunt that town back in the day when I had some Crazy Friends going to Harvard. Me and the Missus spent about a week there just after Christmas and from the looks of the phot ops I had fun.

I've got a Hankering for The No Name Restaurant anyway so be careful what you ask for!!!!!

Piles Fact of the Day: Not long after 9/11 we flew into Logan from Pearson and Back again. No real incidents but when I was looking for some change to tip the Shuttle Driver in Toronto I happened across a few bullets in my Carry On! I now do not have to pack bags ever again. You'd almost think I planned that....

Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 10:26 pm

So I chatted with my Little Ol' Seat Cover until the wee hours and got all kinds of abuse but today she was nice as that Pie that I never got last night. Okay maybe not all that nice:

Quote:

Raven:Hi love

Raven:Are you there

TruckerMals:Hey there Darling just logged on.

Raven:How is your day going honey

TruckerMals:Not too Bad at all made it darn near to Pittsburgh so far.

Raven:So what's the time over there

TruckerMals:Going on noon or there abouts

Raven:Ok

Raven:I read your email and you said you will send the funds this afternoon. Right?

TruckerMals:If I can find a place Yeah I will Darling!

Raven:There's a WU or moneygram everywhere

Raven:If you don't send it this afternoon I will not be happy with you

TruckerMals:Sorry Little Baby Girl but its not easy for me jsut to go snooping around.

Raven:I know but I don't ask for this everyday. So you have to do this for me. I think you should register online through the western union website. So that you can send money online

TruckerMals:Little Gal I will try but I'm driving this Wiggle Wagon clear across Country and there ain't a lot of places where I can just pull over.

Raven:What do you think about this

Raven:You can call western union and register on their website

Raven:Then you can send money online

TruckerMals:Little Lady you know I aint much into this newfangled technology. Even this Yahoo thing is kinda complicated for me.

Raven:So you should send the funds in a WU shop that's almost everywhere

Raven:I am just unhappy! You don't make me happy!

TruckerMals:Baby Doll I know you ain’t Happy with me but you just ain't listening. This Truck is something like 60 feet long and I just can't take it everywhere.

Raven:So can you make a bank transfer from your laptop ?

TruckerMals:Either that or there are those ATMs most everywhere I stop for Chow and Motion Lotion.

Raven:So can you make a bank transfer from your laptop ?

TruckerMals:Don't know but I can from an ATM cause I done it before one time.

Raven:You can transfer from your ATM to my account ?

TruckerMals:Think so but there are some little Bank Outlets at some of the Truck Stops too Baby Gal.

Raven:So what do you want me to do honey? How could you transfer the funds to me ?

TruckerMals:Well Baby since you is needing this like a need a Chile Dog right about now why not send that there Account my way and I'll try to make a Transfer at my next stop.

Raven:Ok honey but $500 is too small for a transfer to my account. Can you add some more hundreds like you said ?

TruckerMals:Now Baby Girl that shouldn't matter a lick no how!

Raven:So how much would you transfer in total and I will send you an account

TruckerMals:Hows $700 if you is being so Fussy?

Raven:That's ok honey

Raven:I will send the bank details to your email ok

TruckerMals:See now you is smiling ain't you?

TruckerMals:I'm a Real Good Man Darling but I just need to be treated right too. Just hate arguing specially with the Gal I love!

Raven:I love you too honey

TruckerMals:I need a couple minutes there Darling. Back in a bit.

Raven:I will send the banking details to your email ok

TruckerMals:Hey there Little Baby I'm back.

Raven:I will send the banking details to your email ok

Raven:Where did you go honey

TruckerMals:Yeah that oughta work. I'm sure glad you is smiling.

Raven:Yes love I am smiling

TruckerMals:Just the way I like it.

Raven:I love you honey

TruckerMals:We keep each other happy and we ain't never gonna have no problems.

Raven:Yes. Honey

TruckerMals:Sure wish you was here with me now.

Raven:Honey I will send you a pic of me an a. Costomer

Raven:Later tonight ok

TruckerMals:Who is this Customer?

Raven:A lady

TruckerMals:Now you got me all curious like and I definitely got my Ears On!

Raven:Have you had lunch

TruckerMals:Just picked it up a couple minutes back so I'm chowing down while Talking at you!

Raven:Lol

TruckerMals:So why are you Teasing me about this picture of you and a Lady at work?

Raven:What are you eating

Raven:Just want to send you a pic

Raven:That's all

TruckerMals:Chili Dog with extra Onions and a Dr. Pepper to wash it all down.

TruckerMals:Can't you tell me more about it cause I'm getting all confused like.

Raven:Honey it's just a pic of a friendly and funny customer

TruckerMals:Aww Okay there Baby Doll. I guess I just have to wait is all.

TruckerMals:I like Funny Pictures anyways.

Raven:Ok honey

TruckerMals:You is just playing with me anyhow.

Raven:Honey you are my love and we can play and be happy

TruckerMals:Dang Straight Baby Doll but if you was here right now I'd Tan that Little Hide till you told me.

Raven:

TruckerMals:Ain't fooling none neither!

Raven:What do you mean love

TruckerMals:Just playing Darling.

Raven:Ok love

Honey I have to attend to work now because I got more customers and we can chat later ok

Raven:I will send account details to your email

TruckerMals:Well I guess I should back on out of here if I want to get to the Big O by dark.

Raven:Ok

Raven:Check your email later ok

Raven:Bye for now love

TruckerMals:You send me that stuff so its waiting for me at the next Pickle Park you Copy? Keep your Shiny Side up Baby Doll! See you on the Flip Flop!

So since this point she has sent me an account ready for the frying pan! I'm Chatting with her now and the pressure is building.

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Oh you truck drivin man. You bring home the bacon and fry it in a pan. Weeeeee Dogggieeeees. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I bet you be one of them thar I R Trucker kind that were delivering the overpass and ran out of diesel. For shame sir! You have not even walked into the choke and puke to ask how old is the chicken and is it free? The Baron did not teach you all those tricks I guess. No you can't put food and smokes on your Fuelman or fleet card.

EDITS: My shift is not playing fair. And more thoughts are coming in as I recall the old battle axe talking.

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

@NV.

Quote:

And more thoughts are coming in as I recall the old battle axe talking.

Now thats down right scary and I don't need to be reminded of her. I is a free man. Laughing

Posted: Tue May 21, 2013 11:40 pm

I'm figuring there are three of these Lads but there could be more. Oh well; might as well release the Anaconda:

Quote:

TruckerMals: Had so much fun talking about them Wrasslers the other night. I could put you in some holds.

DEAD SILENCE - Must be another Seat Cushion!

Raven: Why honey

TruckerMals: Why them holds? It'd be sexy.

Raven: Are you sure?

TruckerMals: I'd think so yes I would! You'd want to see the Anaconda wouldn't you?

Raven: Yes I would.

TruckerMals: I figured as much!

Raven: Smile

TruckerMals: what kinda Hold would you put me in?

Raven: Are you going to send me a pic of it

TruckerMals: A Picture of what Little Lady?

Raven: Anaconda like you said

TruckerMals: Now I was talking bout a Wrassling move. Unless yup wants to see a picture of something else?

Raven: You talked about anaconda

TruckerMals: yeah but that's a Wrassling move ain't it?

Raven: I guess so. How is your day going?

TruckerMals: Real Lazy like!

Raven: Why are you lazy honey

TruckerMals: just relaxing. you taught me that.

Raven: LOL

TruckerMals: If we was together now what would we be doing?

Raven: We would be kissing

TruckerMals: All over too.

Raven: Honey it's past midnight here

TruckerMals: Pleasant Dreams!!! Think about my Anaconda!!!

Raven:Ok love. Talk tomorrow

TruckerMals: 10-4! I got my Ears on!

Posted: Fri May 24, 2013 1:28 am

I tell ya that Woman is meaner than a Hydrophobic Skunk if she don't get here way:

Quote:

Raven: Yes am here so unhappy

TruckerMals: what's going on Little Lady?

Raven: You don't care about me

TruckerMals: What are you saying Darling?

Raven: Because you never want to ask me if am fine Did you ask your banker about the transfer?

TruckerMals: You,ain't talked to me since last night.

Raven: I have been unhappy

TruckerMals: Same here Darling. I've been sending you messages and had my Ears on.

Raven: Did you ask your banker about the transfer

TruckerMals: I sure did Little Darling and I tried to catch your Charlie Forty last night.

Raven: So what did he say about it

TruckerMals: Gimme a second to look up what he wrote. It ain't good I'll tell you that. Okay here is what's he says: The Bank Account Belonging to this Man has been 'Suspended' for suspicious activities. How well do you know this Feller?

Raven: I know him well So is the funds still in your account Can you tell your banker to help you send it to me via moneygram

TruckerMals: Never thought to ask before heading out Hogtown. I'm more concerned about this Feller right now Little Lady! Baby Doll why is you so upset with me?

Raven: I only wanted this feller to help me get the money accross since you won't send to me via western union Your money is stiLl in your account?

TruckerMals: I guess so but never did ask the Banker that.

Raven: So you should forget about this except you don't want to send the funds

TruckerMals: I'm not getting you there Darling.

Raven: Can you tell your banker to send the $700 to me via western union or moneygram

TruckerMals: I suppose I can get in touch with him again but I'm not sure what's the big deal here Little Lady.

Shucks! Dead Silence! Mind you it was about 1:30am Lagos time.

Posted: Sun May 26, 2013 10:40 pm

I been letting my Little SeatCushion off real easy like recently. Mind you I'm not sure why because there's two or more of them and only one TruckerMals. Best put the Hammer Down:

Quote:

Raven: I just went to the movies and was relaxing and swimming

TruckerMals: What movie did you see?

Raven: Eragon

TruckerMals: Don't know that one. What is it about?

Raven: It's about a little boy who became a Dragon rider How is your day going so far?

TruckerMals: Did you like it? Made it clear of the Motor City now into Ohio.

Raven: Yes honey I did like it. So you are now in Ohio?

TruckerMals: Yes Ma'am. Wasn't planning to but a chance came up to make some extra green so I took it.

Raven: That's good but what's green ?

TruckerMals: Sorry Baby Doll, Money.

Raven: What type of language is that ?

TruckerMals: That's American Little Darling! You with me?

Raven: Yes honey

TruckerMals: When I was up in Hogtown the other Day I met this Pastor who couldn't figure out what I was saying either. He said his name was Frank.

Raven: LOL. Smile

. Is he an American?

TruckerMals: He said he was but I got my doubts. I think he is one them Canuckleheads or something. Sure acted that way.

Raven: What's Canuckleheads

TruckerMals: Sorry Little Lady I guess I talks all funny like. Musta spent to much time in Michigan. Them is those people up North of here.

Raven: Okay Honey.

TruckerMals: So what you wearing there Darling?

Raven: My pyjamas ready for bed

TruckerMals: I suppose you must have an early day ahead of you don't you?

Raven: Yes honey I did

TruckerMals: You probably gonna work that sweet Butt off tomorrow ain't you?

Raven: Yes tomorrow is monday again Work work work all day

TruckerMals: Soon I'll be taking care of you! You'll live in the Big House like you were meant to!

Raven: That would be so nice honey Thanks sweet.

TruckerMals: Wouldn't that be perfect? I dream of the day!

Raven: Me too Honey! Wish to be in your arms soon.

TruckerMals: You'll be with me next week won't you?

Raven: Yes Honey I'll be with you.

TruckerMals: Can't hardly wait no how I tell you!

Raven: Honey where would we get a house?

TruckerMals: That depends where you want to hang your hat ain't it?

Raven: Where would you want to live?

TruckerMals: Aww I don't know Little Lady. I think I'd let my Seat Cushion decide!

Raven: What do you mean honey?

TruckerMals: I mean you should be the one who decides where we live is all cause I've been everywhere.

Raven: I don't know a lot about the USA and you should help me choose a great place because you travel everyday.

TruckerMals: Sounds good Baby Doll. Gotta back on out of here cause my Bun just came out of the oven. Love you.

Raven: Love you too Honey.

TruckerMals: Catch you on the Flip Flop.

Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 1:39 am

To set the Stage: Mals has returned to Yonkers after taking his Wiggle Wagon clear of Hog town and then on to the Motor City. Since it was the Memorial Day Weekend, he couldn't transfer the $700 USD to Raven ( for Belly Button Janglers) because everything 'was closed up like'.

If Forrest Gump were around he could tell us something inspirational about a box of chocolates but sadly I don't know what I'm going to get anytime I log on as there are several of these Lads for sure. The Long Arm of the Lad never Sleeps! I can keep them up after Midnight Lagos time every day. The only saving Grace with this bunch is they aren't briefed as to what happened earlier in the day or yesterday for that matter.

I've clipped some of the Front and Back just because it was forever and a day long. So lets join this Chat already in progress:

Quote:

Raven: Just trying to tell you that you don't need to tell your banker about your private life.

TruckerMals: Not getting your Charlie Forty Roger there Little Lady?

Raven: You can go to the bank, withdraw the funds then go to moneygram shop and send it to me. You don't have to tell your banker anytime you helping me with funds. We are in a relationship.

TruckerMals: He can help me though cause I don't know this stuff from Shinola! Plus I wants to tell everyone about my new Baby Doll. I'll probably even show him some of your Pretty Pictures.

Raven: Honey why don't you wait till I get to the USA next week and you can make a proper introduction That would be betteR Because a lot of people would advise against long distance relationship

TruckerMals: Aww little Lady they'll like it that I'm happy and taking care of my Gal!

Raven: You should wait until I come over before any introduction please

TruckerMals: It sure sounds like you is ashamed of being my Darling or something.

Raven: Honey traditionally in my family we do such introduction in person.

TruckerMals: But Little Lady we are getting Married ain't we?

Raven: When I come then we could do a formal introduction with your friends Ok?

TruckerMals: I don't know lots of people but the ones I do know would love to hear about the Future Mrs. Drysdale!

Raven: Yes that's why you need to be patient and wait for me to come then we do an introduction and a party. Engagement party. Ok?

TruckerMals: I won't be telling lots of people there Baby Doll just the Banker Feller and maybe Jimmy down at the Bowling Alley.

Raven: Honey no introductions until I arrive ok. Do you understand?

TruckerMals: Little Darling I don't understand your Forty Roger a mike click no I don't one bit!

Raven: Just respect my decision please.

TruckerMals: This ain't got nothing to do with respect Little Lady. It's a happy occasion in my Swindle Sheet I tell you. I was even thinking of putting an engagement notice in the paper too!

Raven: Honey have you had dinner?

TruckerMals: Not yet Darling cause I just got in a while back. Gonna order a Grease Wheel I think.

Raven: Honey please wait until I come over!

TruckerMals: But I'm really hungry Baby Girl. Ohh I'm getting you now.

Raven: Also I spoke to my lawyer and he will need to prepare marriage documents before my arrival.

TruckerMals: I just ordered an Extra Large with extra Sausage and Onions. My Favourite! Now tell me more about this Lawyer Feller? Cause that plum don't make no sense to me no how.

Raven: I have to present document at the embassy and I have to tell the consulate that I am going to meet my man in the USA. So the lawyer need to prepare legal marriage documents for us. He was lawyer to my late parents In his late forties.

TruckerMals: Now Baby Doll I don't know lots bout this stuff but all you need is a plane ticket to come over here...Hey Pro Wrassling just came on the TV!

Raven: I will tell you more tomorrow OK?

TruckerMals: Aww you gonna go? I thought we was gonna practice some holds too!

Raven: Yes we could.

TruckerMals: That's my Baby Gal! What's your favourite move?

Raven: Tom and Jerry.

TruckerMals: I ain't getting your Ten Forty there Little Lady. I was talking bout Wrassling.

Raven: What's that honey?

TruckerMals: Aww you know them guys you see on TV like the Rock and such. You like that stuff don't you?

Raven: I like it but it's scares me. The are so big and hit each other hard.

TruckerMals: Yeah but they is Pros.

Raven: So do you go to watch these wrestling ?

TruckerMals: Watching it right now.

Raven: Who is fighting?

TruckerMals: The Rattlesnake is taking on The Dane.

Long Silence

Raven: That's old isn't it?

TruckerMals: Yeah I suppose but its a real Slobberknocker.

Not looking good for the Ravens here. Mals is gonna show her Pretty Pictures to all of his not so Naive 'Friends' tomorrow! Dang....

Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 12:52 am

Raven ain't too happy bout TruckerMals sharing their 'Private' life with that Banker Feller. We Chatted earlier today but it came to naught cause there was a Big Ol' Ruckus on the Lawn and I needed to intervene ( Lunch actually)..

Anyhow:

Quote:

Raven: Are you home Honey?

TruckerMals: Yes Ma'am.

Raven: We were talking about our Privacy. So what do you have to say about that?

TruckerMals: Don't worry Little Lady I'd never tell the Banker Feller bout us doing it in the Shower. Even if I wanted to!

Raven: Telling your friend everything isn't wise and I don't feel happy about that Have you had lunch or dinner ?

TruckerMals: Baby Doll I didn't tell him everything just that I gots me a new Gal! Had me a sandridge a whiles back I did.

Raven: Ok that's nice

TruckerMals: You had your Supper?

Raven: I didn't eat anything.

TruckerMals: Why not little Lady? You'll waste away to nothing then I'll get nothing to hang on to!

Raven: I am not happy!

TruckerMals: You need a couple Cheeseburgers is all.

Raven: Are you going to withdraw the funds. In cash and send it with moneygram like i told you or not?

TruckerMals: Oh I thoughts you was complaining bout Supper?

Raven: I didn't eat because I don't feel happy.

TruckerMals: I tell you Little Gal a full Belly sure makes me feel better every time. Tell me why you is so unhappy Baby Doll?

Raven: Me too Honey.

TruckerMals: I you was here I'd fry you up some Liver and Onions and all your cares would go away!

Raven: thank you. Can you answer my questions?

TruckerMals: What questions is that Little Lady?

Raven: Are you there? <ding> Are you going to withdraw the funds. In cash and send it with moneygram like i told you or not? <ding> Are you there? Read what I wrote!!!!!!!!!

TruckerMals: Okay just give me a minute here cause I gotta Hang the Hog! I'm back. That was a relief let me tell you! I was telling you what the Banker Feller said dint I?

Raven: Are you going to talk to me or not?

TruckerMals: I am talking at you ain't I? I gots my ears on don't you worry!

Raven: When would send it?

TruckerMals: The Banker said it weren't safe at all that's what he said Darling. He said a Bank Transfer was much gooder!

Raven: its safe Honey. I've received funds with it.

TruckerMals: Yeah but he tells me other stuff and he knows this Bankering!

Raven: What other stuff? Tell me Honey.

TruckerMals: He says all you needs to do is give me your Bank Account and he can send the money for those little Janglers and such.

Raven: I gave you the account of my customer receiver the other time and you didn't transfer any funds to it Yet you told me your banker did.

TruckerMals: Baby Doll I done told you that fellers account got rejected for some reason. That would never happen with your account.

Raven: Why was it rejected and who rejected it ?

TruckerMals: I don't know all that fancy Bank words and stuff Little Lady but he said it was under suspicion or something to the like I think .

**1 AM in Lagos**

Raven: Are you going to send the money via western union as I told you ?

TruckerMals: I thought he made lots of sense though. Why not do it his way Little Lady?

Raven: I hate it's slow and the Uk tax will charge me for it. And he can't tell you how to send me money. This is not his relationship.

TruckerMals: I don't know what you is saying there Darling but he knows all this Bankering stuff real good. What you mean this ain't no Relationship?

Sadly Mals is gonna head to Shakey Town in his Wiggle Wagon tomorrow....

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Man, I thought you had it down good. When the missus tells you to do sumfin you say. YES DEAR and move on to the next subject. Laughing

Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 10:41 pm

^I'll never figure out WomenFolk. Nor will I figure put which Lad I'm dealing with here. Last night it was Grumpy whilst this morning I had Dopey. Luckily Dopey handed me some Swine and a Possible Mule.

On to Happy/Sleepy:

Quote:

Raven: Hi love

TruckerMals: You had a good day?

Raven: Yes love. Did you send the funds to the account details?

TruckerMals: I sent it to the Banker just a few minutes ago.

Raven: Ok How is your day going?

TruckerMals: not too bad at all. Made it dang clear through Pennsylvania.

Raven: that's nice my Love.

TruckerMals: A bit of a haul in this Wiggle Wagon but it sure feels good to put that much Tar back of my Home 20 that's for sure!

Raven: Honey have you had lunch?

TruckerMals: Yes Ma'am! I had me some biscuits and Sawmill Gravy plus a whole mess of Chicken Fried Steak I did! You had your Supper?

Raven: Not yet.

TruckerMals: What you thinking of cooking up Baby Gal?

Raven: Spaghetti and chicken sauce.

TruckerMals: What you mean by chicken sauce?

Raven: Its a recipe.

TruckerMals: Oh I get you. Maybe you'll be cooking that for me next week Baby Doll.

Raven: Yes I will.

TruckerMals: Having me a good old Seat Cushion to cook for me and clean my pipes is gonna be great I tell you.

Raven: We would be happy together Please find out if your banker sent the funds ok?

TruckerMals: I just sent him a message a while back when I parked the Rig Darling.

Raven: OK.

TruckerMals: So what you wearing?

Raven: Panties and bra.

TruckerMals: Dang that's got my old Feller responding to the call of duty let me tell you Baby Doll!

Raven: Honey? What are you doing love?

TruckerMals: Just Dreaming of you and that fine little Butt right now!

Raven: Smile

. Can I ask you a question love?

TruckerMals: You cans ask me anything Baby Doll!

Raven: Are we going to have a church wedding my love?

TruckerMals: I never had no thoughts bout that no how but I spose its for the best.

Raven: Yes we need to get wedded in a church with roses and lots of guests.

TruckerMals: Okay Baby Gal it's your day. You need to give me your plans so I can get it all arranged like.

Raven: I guess we would talk more about it when I come over. You should find out from your banker if he made the transfer or not ok.

TruckerMals: Aww Little Lady it's Friday night he won't want me pestering him. I ordered you a nice gift from the Fingerhut Catalog today. I knows you'll like it a lot.

Raven: Really. Am sure I would love it Honey.

TruckerMals: I knows you will! They sell all kinds of Doo-Dads like nose hair trimmers and such too but this is extra special.

Raven: Are you sure it's special?

TruckerMals: It sure is Baby Doll. I wasn't gonna tell you cause it's for our new house but why not cause we is almost Married. I gots you a Fancy mailbox that plays Please Mr. Postman when you open the door or lift the flag.

Raven: That's so sweet honey. You now make me so happy.

TruckerMals: I figured that was something you'd like being a Designer and all.

Raven: Yes I would love to continue my work there.

TruckerMals: Yes Ma'am but you ain't need to work nearly so much cause I'll be looking after you. It's my duty to protect that Booty!

Raven: I love you Honey.

TruckerMals: I love you too Little Lady. You ain't got no idea how it feels to be free of those Sleeper Leapers.

Raven: You are my love and heart beat honey.

TruckerMals: Ditto Baby Gal.

Raven: :*

TruckerMals: I'll be kissing you for real soon like Little Lady but it will be in private. We'll make good use of this sleeper then I tell you. I think I need to go get my Supper at the Choke and Puke Baby Doll.

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

I would love me some biscuits and Sawmill Gravy plus a whole mess of Chicken Fried Steak with mashed taters and corn on the cob. Mmmmm. I used to make it all the time until the price of cube steak got higher than rib eye on sale. Go figure. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 11:36 pm

^Can't say I've ever made Chicken Fried Steak but had a hankering for it. I'll try to talk the Missus into it!

Grumpy returns for his kick at the can:

Quote:

Raven: I missed you honey. Where are you?

TruckerMals: I'm in Ohio now. Put the hammer down hard but decided to lay off the pedal and take some time off.

Raven: Hope you are having a great day. Honey did you hear from your banker ?

TruckerMals: Nothing yet Little Lady. I think he is away for the weekend.

Raven: You should have known if he transfered the funds yesterday He is your friend and you should be able to call him at anytime. So why would you say you can't reach him?

TruckerMals: I didn't get a chance to contact him til late yesterday though. You know I was driving.

Raven: So you should know if he transfered the funds or not. Are you busy? <ding>

TruckerMals: Dang Computer done froze up Baby Gal.

Raven: So can you talk now?

TruckerMals: I'm trying my Best Darling.

Raven: Can you call your banker now and confirm if he did the transfer or not?

TruckerMals: I guess I can email him but I he wouldn't be at the office now Little Lady.

Raven: Don't you have his personal cell phone number ? Is he not your friend ?

TruckerMals: I don't got it with me Baby Gal. I usually just stick with my CB here.

Raven: I don't understand why you don't know if he did the transfer or not Did you instruct him to transfer the funds or not ?

TruckerMals: I sure did Little Lady but I done told you I sent it late yesterday and never did back no I didn't!

Raven: Are you serious about this relationship with me? You don't love me!

TruckerMals: Why you saying that Darling?

Raven: I don't think I am important to you. I mean nothing to you.

TruckerMals: You is the most important thing that ever happened to me Lover Gal.

Raven: I don't think so. You never take anything that concerns me serious. And you don't care how I feel about that

TruckerMals: I just ain't getting your Forty Roger here no how!

Raven: I am not happy with you!

TruckerMals: Why Darling? I love you and do everything you asks too!

Raven: I know you don't care about me. You never do anything I tell you. And your banker tells you never to do anything I request.

TruckerMals: Darling I don't knows what to say. You has done got your Panties in a knot and I don't like it one bit no I don't!

Raven: You think I am happy right ?

TruckerMals: I knows you ain't happy Baby Gal but I don't knows why?

Raven: Because you never sent me the funds for my birthday gift and your banker keeps telling you never to do it!

TruckerMals: I tried to send the money Baby Doll but the transfer was rejected. My Banker is just looking out for me that's all. When you meet him you'll like him I promise you that I do!

Raven: I don't like him because he keep asking you never to do what I request.

TruckerMals: Darling quit being like that. He ain't a bad Feller at all. When's you gets here I'll make it all up to you promise. We can shop for all them little Janglers and such.

Raven: You should respect what I want and like.

TruckerMals: I does respect you Baby Doll but I ain't used to having no Womenfolk being all nasty to me like this neither no how!

Raven: You have to get used to me.

TruckerMals: I is trying to but you is sometimes colder than a Mother in laws Kiss I tell you!

Raven: Do you love me Honey?

TruckerMals: Aww you know I do Little Lady! You is my only one and that ain't no lie!

Raven: I love you Honey.

TruckerMals: You ain't acting that way I say! Making me feel real bad like too.

Raven: I told you I am unhappy. I don't mean to make you feel bad. But you also made me feel bad.

TruckerMals: I knows that Little Lady but I don't care to be treated like a Red Headed Step Child neither!

Raven: You should pay attention towards my request.

TruckerMals: Getting real tired of your Nagging Darling. I done told you I sent the Banker Feller a email yesterday.

Raven: I am not nagging Honey.

TruckerMals: Call it what you wills but you is acting meaner than the Snake that married the Garden Hose I tell you.

Raven: You are insulting me Honey.

TruckerMals: I ain't doing no such thing just expressing my opinions cause you is making me feel lower than a snakes belly yes you is!

Raven: I am crying.

TruckerMals: Now don't cry Baby Doll. We can work this out.

Raven: How would you do that Honey?

TruckerMals: Don't rightly knows but I will tires my best to make you the Happiest Gal in the whole World I will!

Raven: I love you Honey.

TruckerMals: I love you too Little Lady but don't wants to fight no more.

Raven: Me too honey. I don't want to fight ok?

TruckerMals: I Roger that I do! Feeling kinda low now Baby Doll. Just wants things to be good and for you to Love me is all. I gots all sorts of Naughty thoughts going on now and wants you to talk that way and maybe send me some Pretty Pictures too!

Raven: Okay Honey! I sent them.

TruckerMals: Gimme a sec and I'll check them out. Baby Doll they sure is Pretty but you done sent them to me before. Ain't you got anything new for me?

Raven: Ok Honey. Hold on. Sent other pics. Check email now.

TruckerMals: Now your talking Baby Doll!

Raven: Did you get photo?

TruckerMals: I sure did! Wow!!!! To think them photos is just for me too!

Raven: Smile

TruckerMals: Now tell me something real Naughty Baby Gal!

Raven: Smile

You can tell me something naughty!

TruckerMals: I wouldn't know where to start my Little Ham Hock. Now do as you is told!

Raven: OK Honey.

LONG SILENCE

Raven: I want you to touch me Honey.

TruckerMals: Where?

Raven: All over my Body love.

TruckerMals: Tell me more.

Raven: You are naughty and can tell me more

TruckerMals: Aww Baby Doll you just ain't cooperating. When I gets you here I'll have to spank that little butt of yours.

Raven: Smile

LONG SILENCE

TruckerMals: Aww you just ain't being any fun at all Little Lady.

Raven: Honey I would be fun next time we chat ok?

TruckerMals: Okay there Baby Doll. You going for your Supper?

Raven: Yes Love.

TruckerMals: What you gonna have?

Raven: Some fruits honey.

TruckerMals: That don't sound like no proper Supper there my Little Ham Hock. You needs to put some meat on them bones.

Raven: Honey I need to watch my shape.

TruckerMals: No I'll be the one watching your shape!

Raven: How would yup do that love?

TruckerMals: Looking at you real close and personal like. That's how! I'm gonna get me a mess of ribs and potato salad.

Raven: Ok Honey.

TruckerMals: You keep your ears and and don't let your back bone slide. I'll catch you on the Flip Flop Baby Doll.

Actually I wanted Brats and Beer and Bacon and Butter but that wasn't to be. The Wee Beastie screwed off to town before I could give her the menu. I had to settle for Lamb Chops, New Potatoes and a Salad...life could be worse.