Zip-a-dee-doo-dah.Just/ change the wording

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Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

As you know going through the mountain of spam emails can get very monotonous, Especially the replies of "Yes I'm interested please tell me more" So we can start the doseydoe back and forth chess match until we get their bank account or other trophies.

This one caught me in the middle of all that so I figured I would change it up a little if for nothing else but to amuse myself. Besides most of script was in green cartoon and I hate that.
So this Stumblebum, Well ummm stumbles into my catcher account.

Quote:

On Mon, 15 Apr 2013 11:23:23 -0700 Mr Jim Harry<I'[email protected]> wrote ---
Hello
I waited for your message as you told me with none received. Remember, i supposed to have traveled last night but the weather is too bad. I will be leaving to Paraguay tomorrow.

Meanwhile, contact the Bank manager with below address, i have kept the cheque with them at amount of USD2.5. They will either mail it to you or remit it for transfer depending on how you want it; Here is Bank manager contact information:

Name Of Manager: Dr Johnson Cosh
Email: >snip<
Phone..>snap<

Thank you.
Jim Harry

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 08:40:24
Sir.
I await further instructions for the transfer of the check.
John

Quote:

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 06:28:12 -0700 Dr Johnson wrote ----
BANK OF DO-DO PLC
HEAD OFFICE: ADB HOUSE ,COTONOU BRANCH,
211 MOSKOVSKAYA STR. BISHKEK 720010,COTONOU,
BENIN REPULIC.
Hotline:>Snip<
Fax:+>Snap<
Foreign Remittance Department

BANK OF AFRICA PLC.

Opening Hours: Monday to Friday 8:00 am to 5:00 PM
Opening Hours: Saturday, 8:30 am till 4:00 PM
Call this telephone number:+ For more information.

Attention

Good morning and welcome to Bank of Africa, this is to confirm your email below . Please in regards of your check that is here, i told Mr Harry that it will cost you USD205 for the delivery expence, i mean mailing the Check, this is not basically the delivery cost but the cost of obtaining the security Tag that could be enclosed along your package to avoid having any problem with any security agencies and i hope he informed you of that, we agreed that you will send the money to us urgent as possible to meet up with delivery schedules. Here is the information to send the Tag Fee of USD205 and provide us with your delivery information as soon as the money is sent:

Receiver...... Nnaemeka Destiny Senior
Country...... Benin Republic.
Text question...... To who
Answer. Destiny

Please i need your urgent reply as regard this. In an alternative sir, if you want us to process the remittance of the check and get your funds wire through bank to Bank, what it will cost you is USD500 for the remittance. An escrow account has to be set up here to enable us remit your funds and get it transfer. So, get back to us and tell us what you want us to do.

Thank you for choosing Bank Of Africa.

Dr Johnson Cosh

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 09:11:02
Sir.
I would be glad to send you the USD $205.00 for the delivery expense. Hell thats peanuts for me. (Time to go right for the jugular)Just send me the Bank details and I'll zip it right over to ya.
I await your reply.
John B.

Quote:

On Thu, 18 Apr 2013 13:54:04 -0700 Dr Johnson wrote ----

with out the fee for the delivery fee you could not recieve any zip about the check.

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 15:40:14
No, No, No you don't understand. Zip it means to send it right away/fast/quick
Just give me your bank info for a quick transfer and I will send the fee.
John B.

Quote:

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 01:55:57
Attention
Good morning and welcome to Bank of Africa, The only way we can pick the money fast and send your CHECK is for you to go ansd send the fee through western union or money garm, because with out that zip it to my bank account it will look like you are sending money to me which you know that the money is not for me but for the posting of your CHECK. Here is the information to send the Tag Fee of USD205 and provide us with your delivery information as soon as the money is sent:

Receiver...... Nnaemeka Destiny Senior
Country...... Benin Republic.
Text question...... To who
Answer. Destiny

Please i need your urgent reply as regard this. In an alternative sir, if you want us to process the remittance of the check and get your funds wire through bank to Bank, what it will cost you is USD500 for the remittance. An escrow account has to be set up here to enable us remit your funds and get it transfer. So, get back to us and tell us what you want us to do.

Thank you for choosing Bank Of Africa.

Dr Johnson Cosh

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 09:07:36
Sir.
I never would have thought using the word Zip would cause so much confusion. I suggest that you forget you ever heard the word ZIP and lets move on to the payment.
I will try to make this easy for you to understand if I can. So listen closely, OK.
I live on a ranch in the northern most part of Montana, USA
There is no civilization here. It's just prairie grass lands and mountains.
the nearest town is over 3 hours away when the roads are clear
We don't have public electricity, telephone or cable,
All we have for communications is one half hour a day of satellite service which is used for emergency calls and internet. banking, email etc.
So western union, money gram or any other money mover is to far away and out of the question. That leaves internet bank transfers only. So if you want me to send you some money send me your bank info and the amount you want transferred to it.
Do you understand?
John B.

Quote:

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 05:11:38
Good morning and welcome to Bank of Africa, YOU ARE TO GO AND SEND THE NEEDED FEE OF $205.00 THROUGH THIS ACCOUNT SO THAT YOUR CHECK WILL BE POST OUT TO YOUR GIVING HOME ADDRESS. BUT IF YOU NEED TO HAVE THE FUNDS DOWN TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT YOU ARE TO SEND $500.00 AS I TOLD YOU IN MY FIRST MASSAGE TO YOU.

HERE IS THE ACCOUNT INFORMATION ON HOW TO SEND THE NEEDED FEE.

BANK NAME : BANK OF Doo Doo
ACCOUNT NAME : WAllA WALLA BING BANG
ACCOUNT N° : >SNIP<
SWIFT CODE : >SNAP<
CODE BANQUE : >CRACKEL<
CODE GUICHET : >POP<
IBAN : >GOTCHA<
AGENCE SEGBEYA
AKPAKPA - CARREFOUR SEGBEYA - COTONOU.

Please i need your urgent reply as regard this. In an alternative sir, if you want us to process the remittance of the check and get your funds wire through bank to Bank, what it will cost you is USD500 for the remittance. An escrow account has to be set up here to enable us remit your funds and get it transfer. So, get back to us and tell us what you want us to do.

Thank you for choosing Bank Of Africa. (NO!! THANK YOU)

Dr Johnson Cosh

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 7:04 pm

What's he doing with Bishkek in Benin? Bishkek is in Kyrgyzstan. (I knew it was one of those stans, but had to look up which one.)

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 30 Mar 2012 Posts: 949

I always love it when a person who "works at the bank" asks for a payment through Western Union.

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

I had so much suckcess with it the first time I figured why not try it again.

Quote:

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 02:54:25 -0700

Western Union
Money Transfer Service
Dear Customer,

This is to notify all of our customers concerning blah blah.

In order words we are now requesting that those involve should pay onlythe sum of $155, Yadi Yadi.

to release this MTCN to you today I have instructed to send the$4000.000 today but it is on hold, Reason is because of this fee of$155, and with the fee $155, you will not pick it up yet .

recieverinformation below.
Receivers Name== Agu Paul.
Country== Benin Republic.
City====Cotonou
Text Question== Only
Answer== Money
Amount=$155,
Yours In Service
Mr John Larry
Western Union Cotonou Benin Republic.
western union department. Yours In Service
Mr John Larry

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 07:13:47 -0700

Sir.
I would be glad to send you the USD $155.00 to release the hold on the MTCN . Hell thats peanuts for me. Just send me your Bank details and I'll zip it right over to ya.
I await your reply.
John B.

Same shit different time.
Mon, 22 Apr 2013 10:24:58 -0700

Quote:

attention mr John B. i received your mail and i want you to try your best to send the 155.00 today to enable use release your 4000.00 which is onhold right now. i can assure you that immedately you send the 155.00 today >snip<

That didn't work. Lets try lickely split.
Mon, 22 Apr 2013 11:27:14 -0700

Sir.
I can send the $155.00 zip, zip Lickely split. It's not a problem for me I just need your bank account info to send the money. OK.
I await your reply.
John.

Stubborn shit wrote.
Mon, 22 Apr 2013 11:30:25 -0700

Quote:

i want you to send the 155.00 through western union or money gram

time to pull out the ole clincher.
Mon, 22 Apr 2013 11:42:27 -0700

Sir.
Maybe you don't understand, So I will try to make this easy for you to understand if I can. So listen closely, OK.
I live on a ranch in the northern most part of Montana, USA
There is no civilization here. It's just prairie grass lands and mountains.
the nearest town is over 3 hours away when the roads are clear
We don't have public electricity, telephone or cable,
All we have for communications is one half hour a day of satellite service which is used for emergency calls and internet. banking, email etc.
So western union, money gram or any other money mover is to far away and out of the question. That leaves internet bank transfers only. So if you want me to send you the $155.00 send me your bank info and the amount you want transferred to it.
That is the only way I can do it. Do you understand?
John B.

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 11:55:05 -0700

Quote:

listen to me we dont do anything account we are only doing western union transfer no account to account. so i want you to go to the town please if you dont have the transportion take 55.00 out of the amount send the rest for me ok

Dammit this ones a tough nut.
Mon, 22 Apr 2013 12:07:32 -0700

I can see this is going nowhere fast.
"if you dont have the transportion take 55.00 out of the amount send the rest for me ok "
How the hell am I supposed to do that??

Is he trying to safari me?
Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:05:49 -0700

Quote:

what i mean is that i want you to go to another town to send the money no account becuase we dont accpect that ok we need only western union or money gram ok

This ain't over yet. TBC. Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

A couple more stabs at this

I understand what you said. Did you understand me when I said the nearest town is over 3 hours away on a good day? Now you want me to try another town. To what purpose?

So he gives me a little slap.

Quote:

yes if is going to take you 4hours just do as i tell you to do . send the 100.00 use the 55.00 ok and make sure you send the 100.00 today ok

WTF He's turning the tables on me here.

What you say does not make sense. Listen to me. Listen to me.
The nearest, nearby, closest town is 3-three- tres-cut- hours away on a good sunny dry day. It has a western union but its 3 hours away. Going to another town will be farther, take longer to get there away. Why would I go to one farther away maybe 4 hours when I won't go to one 3 hours away? Sheeeesh

He's not givin a unch.

Quote:

yes if is going to take you 4hours just do as i tell you to do . send the 100.00 use the 55.00 ok and make sure you send the 100.00 today ok

Bugger. ok, You can't win em all.
Lets see: Thats one for me and one for the lads using the Zip Zip modality.
I wonder if he has any cousins? Twisted Evil

He does He does.

Quote:

From: Mr. Williams Benz
Subject: Welcome to Western Union
To:
Date: Tuesday, April 16, 2013, 12:14 PM

Welcome to Western Union
Send Money Worldwide
Location Address; Plot 1261, Adeola Hopewell Street CO/B/REP,
Tele phone Number:
We make Financial Services Easy and Accessible to our customers.

Attn Beneficiary;

How are you today together with your family, thanks for contacting us regarding your funds sum of $5.8million united state dollar. And we apologize for our late respond due to we are busy attending to other customers in our office.

Secondly, I’m , Mr. Williams Benz the managing director western union payment office Benin republic, please you are advice to go through this email and respond back to enable you receive your first payment today. Because we have been instructed by the federal government to transfer your funds to you via our service (Western union money transfer office) and the total amount you will be receiving daily is $5, 000.00 until it complete the sun of (5.8million) as we have in our record.

However, I write to let you know that $5,000.00 has already been sent but the $5,000.00 is under the system of on hold. due to the facts that you are required to pay for the Re-newing of your file payment from I.M.F/ which is $135 usd but Being a director general, I have used my influence to send your first payment of $5,000.00 but it is on hold because the Re-newing of your file payment is not yet paid.

This payment has already being sent , Therefore you are requested as a matter of urgency to comply so that the $5,000.00 being sent to you will be available in any Western Union Office in your Country and you can pick it up. Bellow is the information on how to pick up your first payment of $5,000.00 that was send today.

Senders name / Alihou Hounsa
Text Question / Payment?
Answer / Approved
Amount / $5,000.00 usd
Mtcn / 0732627772

Please If you have access to International call then you call me with this number as soon as you send the $135 usd to enable us follow up immediately.

Finally, here is the information on how you will send the $135 usd and the fee will be send via Western Union Money Transfer.

Receiver name / Edu Jack
Country / Benin Republic
City/Address / Cotonou
Text Question / Payment?
Answer / Approved
Amount / $135 usd

In addition to this, remember to send mtcn# and the sender's name as soon as you send the $135 usd.

My Regards to your family and kids
Mr. Williams Benz
Director Western Union Office
Benin Republic.
Tel

To be totally honest I thought this was the same western Union Lad as above so with a little egg on my face.
I wrote.

You should go away now. Your really starting to bother me.

Quote:

Mr. Williams Benz.
Dose this mean that you don't want to receive your fund or that you don't want to pay for the fee????

Huh, What, Who is this lad? Oh It's another one. Rubbing my palms together I'm thinking: Oh Boy Manna from Heaven. Time to pull out the Zip Zip Mod.

Sir.
The $135.00 is not a problem it's peanuts. Hell I spend that on a box of wine everyday. Just send me your bank info and I'll zip it over to you right away no problem.
Slim Pickens Here.

Quote:

You don't need to send it into our account because we don't want any further delay in this transaction. All you need to do is to go to any western union around you and make the payment with the giving information so that the $5.000.00 that we sent to you will be available for you to pick up in any western union in your country.

Ok Game on. TBC. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Oh Goody, goody gumdrops he wants to play.

Quote:

You don't need to send it into our account because we don't want any further delay in this transaction. All you need to do is to go to any western union around you and make the payment with the giving information so that the $5.000.00 that we sent to you will be available for you to pick up in any western union in your country.

A little spinaroobee on the clincher. I shortened it up alot, times a wastin.

Why Do you not understand that I am very busy man and cannot/will not travel 3 plus hours to get to a western union store to send you a 135 bucks. I just won't do it. Geebus!! Would you??
Slim

I guess he would. he lubs wester Union.

Quote:

My dear i will do more than that just to make sure the i get what i really want. OK, Since you said that you don't have the chance and you are very busy, i will like you to send the $135 when you are less busy so that we will renew you payment file to enable start receiving your fund.

Remember that you will be receiving $5.000.00 every day starting from tomorrow once we renew your payment file until you have receive your total fund of $5.8000.000.00 USD as we have in our record here.

Please if this is OK with you kindly let me know and i will like to know also when you will be sending the money.

Awe, Buggered again. So much for the Zip Zip Mod. :>(

I got more fish to fry so I just drop him and move on.

But wait: Almost 2 weeks later someone comes a knockin.
With a discount even

Quote:

Attention Dear,

I am writing to inform you that your payment is still pending here in our office and maybe it is because you have insufficient funds to pay for the Renewing of your payment file of your $5,000.00USD which has already been sent to you.

Furthermore, the reason why I am writing this email to you is to inform you that because of your financial problems in paying the needed fee for the pick up of your first payment his Excellency Dr. Yayi Thomas Bonni has been able to help in paying the sum of $70 out of the $139 that’s is needed for the renewing of your FILE PAYMENT and this means that it is remaining the little balance of $69 for the funds to be available for you and to be picked up by you.

Moreover, this $69 is needed as soon as possible so that your funds can be released to you as soon as possible without any further delay because instruction has been given by his excellency that we should release your payment immediately you pay the remaining balance of $69 today:

Please kindly use the below information in sending the required $69 today:

Receiver's name: Edu Jack
Country: Benin Republic
City: Cotonou
Test Question: When?
Test Answer: Now.
Amount:
MTCN#:

I await your urgent response as soon as possible with the payment information for the immediate release of your first payment as soon as possible without any further delay.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation,
Mr. Williams Benz.

Changing my mod from Zip Zip to Go Away.

Sir,
As I have repeatedly told you it's not the amount of money. It's how you want it sent by Western Union. I will not drive 3 hours to get to the nearest office, Especially now with wild fires popping up all over the area and putting peoples live in jeopardy. Once more I say to you either bank wire transfer or GO AWAY.
Slim Pickens Here.

Even though I loose the discount.

Quote:

Attention Slim,

We receive your email and the content is well noted. Am writting this email to inform you that we couldnt fixed the problem we are having with our bank account here that is the resine why i didnt give you the account info as you requested right from the begining but however we are able to contact our branch in Nigeria to provide their bank info for the transaction of the money to be made so that you can pick up the fist payment that we sent to you.

Bellow is the account information that you are to use to send the $135 today.

Accunt Name// yes
Account No.// several
Bank Name// United Bank for Africa(UBA)
Country// Nigeria
City // Lagos

Be informed that you are going to receive your first payment within 52hrs we comfarm this money in the giving account above and dont for get to notify me with a call as soon as the money is been sent.

We are now waiting for your urgent respond.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation, (No!! Thank You Laughing

)
Mr. Williams Benz.

Zip Zip/Go Away Mod =2
Lad=1

NEXT. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Next?
Read the script if you want or you can do like me and head right to the money shot. 248 bucks, yup got it.

Quote:

Attention Dear Beneficiary .

Its my pleasure to inform you that your funds have been called back this monring and I have deposited it with ECO BANK PLC. I have verified from the Bank Director regarding the transfer of your funds and it was good news, because the requested fees was less expessive for you to afford. Your consignment containing your fund($10.5M USD) I have deposited it with the ECO BANK PLC.so that your funds will be wired to your account Immediately you contact the bank director with your banking details.

However, I went to ECO BANK PLC to discuss this with the Bank Director as its has not been delivered to you, However he told me that your funds can be transfered to you via a direct wire transfer(KTT) into your account. He told me to instruct you to contact the bank to apply for a direct wire transfer into your account to avoid loosing your funds due to delay. Therefore you can contact the bank with below information, send to them your banking information.

contact the eco bank plc plc through
CityBank Bénin Cotonou Adresse :
Burkina Faso, Côte d'Ivoire,
Guinea Bissau, Mali
Place Ganhi, 01 BP 1280 Cotonou
HON.MR.JACK BLESSING,
Eco Bank MANAGER
MANAGER'S CALL NUMBER+229-68389220
EMAIL:( [email protected] )

Send an email to the bank with the above bank email and apply for your wire transfer as I have informed the bank about you already. On receipt of your funds into your account, endeavour to inform me Immediately you receive your funds in your account. I have paid for the processing charges, delivery charges and Clearance Certificate charges Cheque showing that it is not a Drug Money nor to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country,

The director told me that the only fee you are to pay to the bank is their transfer charges, which is $248USD to me by the bank management board members for the opening of new international account here in there bank that will be used to transfer the funds to your destinated account in your country and it will also serve as the bank transfer charges. Infact, I thank God very much for all the movement I made, every thing went normally. As for our agreement with the ECO BANK PLC.promised that your funds will to your Country any moment from now.

Contact the with your full transfer information regarding of the funds to be transfer to you by this eco bank plc and also any beneficiary will be responsible for open a news account fees so as to avoid any scam and the fees is just only $248.usd and you will receive your funds from eco bank plc because as soon as you contact the the bank in charges of your funds he will alert the united state bureau and inconjuction with your state police for the ATM CARD to be transfer from this eco bank to you without any restriction and problem when the funds get to you in your location area.

WAFIU further told us that the use of Nigeria Couriers and the Benin or western union money transfer and moneygram was abolished due to interception activities noticed in the above mentioned courier services in Benin, Nigeria and Ghana and thereby have made a concrete arrangement with the eco bank plc Benin Republic for a safe transfer to your country once the beneficiary meets up the demand of the conveyance.

Here the information you will use to send them the fee below,
Receive,s Name-----------------Eri John
Country------------------------------Republic Of Benin
City------------------------------------Cotonou
Test Question-------------------How Long
Test answer---------------------A Day
Sender,s Name----------------
Mtcn contorl number-----------
Amount$248usd
and after you send the money tried to forward your complete information where to delivery the funds immediately to you okay.
Best Regard,
Barrister Frank Moore.

Copy and paste the zip zip mod and change the dolla amount

Sir,
I can send the 248 bucks, Hell thats peanuts for me. I spent that much on just breakfast for the family. Just send me your Bank info and I'll wire it over Zip Zip.
Have a good day.
Slim

Not having it eh?

Quote:

ATTENTION:DEAR Slim.

SIR/MADAM,

THIS BANK WRITES IN ACKNOWLEGEMENT OF YOUR LETTER THIS MORNING REGARDING YOUR ($10.5M USD) I HAVE RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL FOR WHAT YOU SAID TO TRANSFER THE FUNDS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT,BUT YOU HAVE TO SEND $248USD TO OPEN THE NEW ACCOUNT I WILL USE TO TRANSFER THE FUNDS TO YOUR ACCOUNT ANY WHERE YOU WANT US TO TRANSFER IT OK SO GO AND SEND THE $248USD IMMEDIATELY AND GETING BACK TO US WITH PAYMENT INFORMATION YOU USE TO SEND THE MONEY NOW.

FOR THE ACTIVATION WILL BE SEND VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER ON THE NAME OF OUR PROTOCAL OFFICER MR.UCHECHUKWU DURU BEFORE WE CAN DELIBERATE OF YOUR FUND RETRIVEMENT AND REMITTANCE IN ANY ACCOUNT OF YOUR OPTIONS.

THE CHARGES FEE IS USD$248USD AND YOU ARE TO SEND IT IMMEDIATELY VIA WESTERN UNION OR MONEYGARM WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT.THIS MEASURE IS TO ABSORB US FROM ANY WRONGFUL REMITTANCE INTO YOUR ACCOUNT DETAILS AS WE HAVE A REMITTANCE REGULATIONS TO ADHERED TO.

IMPORTANT NOTE, UPON RECEIPT OF THE FEE AND YOUR RECONFIRMED BANK DETAILS, WE SHALL INVITE THE BANK ACCERITED RESIDENT ATTORNEYS TO ENDORSE THE TRANSFER AND SIGN THE FINAL RELEASE ORDER ON YOUR BEHALF.WE SHALL IN RETURN SEND YOU THE CARBON COPY OF THE FUND RELEASE ORDER TOGETHER WITH THE TRANSFER CONFIRMATION SLIP TO EDUCATE YOU ON THE DEPARTURE AND THE ARRIVAL OF YOUR FUND INTO YOUR NORMINATE BANK ACCOUNT IN YOUR COUNTRY.

WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD FOR THE MONEY CONTROL NUMBER(MTCN) AS YOU KNOW THAT THE FUNDS IN QUESTION IS GAZZETED AND HAD BROUGHT TO PUBLIC JOURNALS.BE INFORMED THAT YOUR FUNDS WILL TAKE 48HRS TO CLEAR INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT ONCE YOU SEND THE OPEN ACCOUNT FEE TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING.

WE PROMISED TO ISSUE YOU THE CARBON COPY OF THE FUND RELEASE ORDER ALONG WITH THE TRANSFER CONFIRMATION SLIP TO EDUCATE YOU ON THE DEPARTURE AND THE ARRIVAL OF YOUR FUND INTO YOUR NORMINATE BANK ACCOUNT.

FINALLY, RE-CONFIRM YOUR BANKING DETAILS AND PARTICULARS TO THIS OFFICE.THIS IS IN ACCORDIANCE TO OUR NEW BANKING REGULATIONS TO ABSORBS US FROM ANY WRONGFULL REMITTANCE TO OUR CUSTOMERS ACCOUNT AND TO AVOID EMBEZZLENT OF NUMERIOUS CUSTOMERS FUND APPROVED FOR ON WORD REMITTANCE AS APPROVED BY THE BOARD MEMBERS OF THE REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT.

YOU ARE ADVISED TO SEND THE HANDLING CHARGES $248USD THRU WETSREN UNION MONEY TRANSFER OR MONEYGARM AS BELOW AND SEND THE PAYMENT DETAILS.

RECEIVER:.==========.MR. ERI JOHN
COUNTRY:===========BENIN REPUBLIC
CITY:.===============COTONOU
QUESTION:============BEST COLOUR
ANSWER:.===========WHITE,
AOMUNT$248USD

THEN SEND THE MONEY CONTROL NUMBERS MTCN FOR EFFECTIVE OPERATION AND EASY PICK UP YOUR ARE ADVISED TO CONFIRM RECEIPT OF THIS WIRE NOTIFICATION.

YOURS FAITHIFULLY,
DR JACK BLESSING.
DIRECTOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS
DEPARTMENT(EBB),

I could give him the old three hour drive skit but I'm busy and tired so I try something new.

Sir,
I'm sorry if you misunderstood when I said send me your bank info and I will send you the 248 bucks zip zip. What I meant to tell you is to send me your bank account info and I will wire the 248 bucks directly to you. Zip Zip really fast.
Is this something you want to do?
I await your reply.
Slim

It's all in the wording I guess.

Quote:

ATTENTION:DEAR Slim.

SIR/MADAM,

THIS BANK WRITES IN ACKNOWLEGEMENT OF YOUR LETTER THIS MORNING REGARDING YOUR ($10.5M USD) I HAVE RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL FOR WHAT YOU SAID THAT YOU NEED BANK ACCOUNT INFO YOU WILL USE TO SEND THE MONEY SEE IT BELOW,

THIS IS BANK ACCOUNT INFORMATION YOU WILL USE TO TRANSFER THE $248USD TODAY BELOW THE INFO,

NAME. LITTLE LONG,
A/C NUMBER: 220
BANK NAME: HDFC BANK
IFSC CODE: yes

THEN AFTER YOU SEND THE MONEY SEND US THE PAYMENTSLIP OF THE MONEY YOU SEND OKAY.

YOURS FAITHIFULLY,
DR JACK BLESSING.
DIRECTOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS
DEPARTMENT(EBB),

Zip Zip/No Go Away/Rephrase it Mod =3
Lad=1

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

One more time.

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

Hello , I am Mrs. Paulette Beal an agent with the United Nations Association of the UK. This mail is all about your unclaimed compensation payment by the above mentioned organization.

I was appointed to come to Nigeria by my superior Mr. Ban Ki-Moon and the World Bank President after considering much fraud/scam reports from the FBI and other Security agencies from Asia, Europe, Oceania, So uth America and the United States of America respectively, against the United Kingdom and the Federal Government of Nigeria. It is a shame that these two respected great nations have been in the forefront of scam related activities and the UN has vowed to eradicate this ugly virus completely and make the World a better place of living for all. Our intelligence report, reveals that the fraudsters and scam syndicates use London UK and Nigeria as their base and these evil perpetrators have rendered so many families useless and caused some people to take away their own lives after borrowing from friends and relations and failed to balance back as at when due because of their fake promises. Mrs. Inga-Britt an ex- UN member was sent to Nigeria Africa previously to tackle this problem but she compromised and failed. Instead of helping victims to receive their rightful entitlements, she betrayed them and joined the fraudsters, Sir Ian Blair of the London Metropolitan Police was retired before his time because he also compromised with the scammers to get money from fund owners illegally.

Since my arrival, I have met with the President of Nigeria(Good luck Ebele Jonathan) and Sir Mohammed Abubakar, the Nigeria Police Force Commander 10, I have also met with the Accountant General of the Great Nigeria (CBN), the CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA and some other bank executives and they have all endorsed the immediate release of your payment.

Sincerely, you are a lucky person because I have just discovered that some top London officials and Nigerian Government Officials are interested in your fund and they are working in collaboration with a foreigner Mr. Nelson Smith from USA to frustrate you and thereafter divert your fund to an already opened bank account in New York with this below information:

BANK NAME:.............. HSBC BANK U.S.A,
BANK ADDRESS:........... 452 FIFTH AVENUES, NEW YORK
ABA NUMBER:............. 021001088
SWIFT CODE:............. FIBBBJBJ
CREDIT TO:.............. FINANCIAL BANK,
ACCOUNT NUMBER:......... 14524139649
ACCOUNT NAME:........... ETS MOON EXPORT.

These people have presented this account number to the CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA and claimed that you gave them the authority to receive this fund on your behalf. Do respond to this message now and confirm to me if your UN approved compensation of £10,000000.00 ( TEN Million British pounds Sterling) should be released to these men as applied.

Base on that, the (CBN) made me to understand that the only thing that is holding your Fund not to be release to you is the needed fee of $95usd only, in which if you can be able to make the payment today, the CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA will immediately issue this fund by your name,

Here is the payment information which i got from (CBN), i will only advice you to rush down to any western union money transfer or any Money Gram and send the fee immediately, so that this fund will be issued to you.

I will love to hear from you with the Mtcn Numbers

RECEIVERS NAME: Mrs. Paulette Beal

RECEIVERS ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION: WHAT FOR
TEXT ANSWER: GOOD
MTCN NUMBERS........
AMOUNT $175usd only Greedy twit
------------------------------
SENDERS NAME.......
SENDERS ADDRESS......

Waiting to hear urgently from you!!

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

Hi,
Ya 175 dollars is peanuts for me, Hell I spent more than that on breakfast. so if you want me to send it ti you just give me your bank info and I will zip it on over to you. Lickety split.
Let me know.
Slim

Quote:

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

How are you doing my dear good friend, i hope fine.

I want officially inform you that i am here in Nigeria because of your fund and i do not have any account here in Nigeria for you to send the fee and that is the reason why you were ask to send this issue fee through western union or money gram so that the money you send will be pick up this same day and this fund will be issued in your name and if you did not get the fee then the bank here will issue your fund to Mr.Nelson Smith.

So kindly pick the western union information and rush to any western union nearest you and send the fee okay?

I will love to hear from you with the Mtcn Numbers

RECEIVERS NAME: Mrs. Paulette Beal

RECEIVERS ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION: WHAT FOR
TEXT ANSWER: GOOD
MTCN NUMBERS........
AMOUNT $175usd only
------------------------------
SENDERS NAME.......
SENDERS ADDRESS......

Waiting to hear urgently from you!!

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

I see you do not have a account there in Nigeria so I will go to the nearest Western union to send you the money. Hold tight until I return.
Slim

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

How are you doing my dear good friend, i hope fine.

Hello My Dear good friend i am still waiting for the MTCN from so the Bank can issue this fund in your name and get Mr. Nelson Smith arrested and jail him for fraud/scam.

Get back to me immediately with the Payment slip so that we can get every thing done today. And as you are sending the MTCN also fill the below information so that the bank will transfer your fund to your personal account,in the 6hours after you have paid the $175 fee and this inheritance fund have been issued in your name.

So get back to now with the MTCN.

RECEIVERS NAME: Mrs. Paulette Beal

RECEIVERS ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION: WHAT FOR
TEXT ANSWER: GOOD
MTCN NUMBERS........
AMOUNT $175usd only
------------------------------
SENDERS NAME.......
SENDERS ADDRESS......

Waiting to hear urgently from you!!

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

Paulette,
I went to western union this morning to send you the 175 bucks. The manager said I could not send the money until you fill out some forms. So I give him your email address and he said he would take care of the rest. This is a copy I got in my box and I sent it to you in case you did not get the original. Let me know when you have filled out the form and I will go back to western union unless you want to do bank wire.
I await your reply
John B.

Quote:

LISTEN TO ME I CAN NOT FILL ALL THESE SO RIGHT NOW YOU SHOULD GO AND SEND THE FEE THOUGH MONEY GRAM.

AND IF YOU CAN NOT SEND IT THROUGH MONEY GRAM I WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH OUR AGENT INFORMATION IN USA NOW SO THAT YOU WILL SEND IT TO HER THOUGH POST ADDRESS OKAY?

SO IF YOU WANT TO SEND THE FEE THROUGH POST ADDRESS THEN LET ME KNOW SO THAT I WILL GIVE HER ADDRESS FOR YOU TO POST THE FEE TO HER.

Mrs Paulette.
Yes I think maybe I should just post it to your agent address. After all it would be another 6 hour round trip to try and send by Money Gram and I'm not really looking forward to driving through the wild fires again. My car is still smoldering from the last trip. so post address it is.
I await your reply.
Slim.

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

How are you doing my dear good friend, i hope fine.

Hello My Dear good friend below is the address you will post the $175 fee, so let me know how long it will take the $175 fee to get to our agent address, make sure you post the fee today and inform me immediately you have done this so that i will inform our agent to be around.

Send it to the below address, okay?

Receivers Name: Mule

Receivers Address: yes

I am waiting for your urgent reply.

Waiting to hear urgently from you!!

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

Does a Mule equal a piggy? If not I'll have to keep tryng.

Hello Paulette
I have received your email and I will have the post ready to go this afternoon. Then as soon as the Postal plane can clear the VFR he will come here and pick up your mail along with other outgoing packages. I'm guessing it will take about a week or so before he lands here the way the weather and the wild fires are looking.
Too bad you don't have a bank account there.
Oh well, I'll let you know the minute it's in the air.
Slim

TBC

Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 12:11 am

Quote:

AS YOU KNOW THAT THE FUNDS IN QUESTION IS GAZZETED

Quote:

THE ARRIVAL OF YOUR FUND INTO YOUR NORMINATE BANK ACCOUNT

Keep it up, Mimi, you're killin' me here! This lad is hilarious and I cannot stop laughing!

Quote:

AVOID EMBEZZLENT OF NUMERIOUS CUSTOMERS

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Impatient Git.

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

How are you doing my dear good friend, i hope fine.

Hello My Dear good friend since you now have the address the only thing you need to do is to inform you as soon as the have posted the fee to our agents address.

Make sure that you inform me immediately and it will not take up to a week, it should be three days at most (Dumb shit really doesn't have a clue.)and they will arrive to our agents address

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

Mrs. Paulette.
You do not seem to understand how the postal service works up here where we live. The mail is sent and received by airplane. The plane will come here when the VFR are met and will let the postman fly. He cannot fly here anytime he wants to. he has to be given authorization by the FAA to jet the runway.
Sometimes in bad weather we won't see old Sky King for a month. Thats why I said I would let you know when the mail is picked up.
Is that clear now?
Slim

Clear as the mud the git has for brains.

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

How are you doing my dear good friend, i hope fine.

Hello My Dear good friend i want you to reconfirm your personalinformation by filling the below,so that everything will finalize as soon as we have confirmed the fee.

And make sure that you give me the tracking number immediately postman came there and pick up the fee okay? so that i will be tracking them to know when they have reach the destination of our agent.

But it is very important for you to reconfirm your personal data information to my desk here.

Your Full name and address.
Your Confidential Telephone and Fax numbers.
Your Bank name and address.
Your Bank Account Name and Numbers.
Your Routing No and Swift Code, if any?
OCCUPATION:

Get back to me with the above requested from you okay?

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

Two more of the same, Is it here yet emails later.

My Dearest Paulette
Once again you misunderstand how our Postal system works. We do not send mail by air with Fed Ex. or Brownie. The plane that picks up our mail is run and operated by the local Assinabone People a Native American tribe. They do not have a tracking system for mail. They pick up the mail here and fly down to Bute and drop it off at the local Post Office which sorts it and sends it out however they do that.
Remember you are the one that did not want to fill the Western Union Forms out or do a simple Bank wire transfer. So be patient and I will let you know when the mail is picked up here after that it's anybodies guess when it will be delivered to the recipient in Colorado.
I must get back to work. TTFN
Slim

Right about now I'm feeling that Zip, Zip Mod ain't working to good.

It's not. Sad

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

How are you doing my dear good friend, i hope fine.

Hello My Dear good friend its okay i understand you now but you have to fill your information below okay, so that as soon as our agent received the fee the bank will issue this inheritance fund in your name and will immediately transfer it into your account.

And if you do not want it through bank to bank wire transfer then do not bring your account information, you will then bring your address and others.

So fill it and send them to me so that i will forward it to the Bank.

Your Full name and address.
Your Confidential Telephone and Fax numbers.
Your Bank name and address.
Your Bank Account Name and Numbers.
Your Routing No and Swift Code, if any?
OCCUPATION:

Get back to me with the above requested from you okay?

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

Ya, Right. You don't send me your bank account info but you want mine.

Quote:

Get back to me with the above requested from you okay?

Quote:

Get back to me with the above requested from you okay?

Pete and Re-Pete

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

How are you doing my dear good friend, i hope fine.

Hello My Dear good friend i want the situation of thing, have you gotten everything done.

Please let me know because it is more than a week since you told me to wait so inform if they have pick it or if they have posted the $175 fee.

I await for urgent response...

Get back to me with the above requested from you okay?

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

My Dearest Paulette,
As I have repetedly explained to you our postal service does not work like regular mail. So once again I must ask you to have patients. I will inform you of when the mail is picked up. Bothering me won't make it go any faster.
Slim.

Tired of waiting for the postman.

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

How are you doing my dear good friend, i hope fine.

Hello My Dear good friend i would appreciate it so much if you will go and collect the money back since they have not pick it, and then send it through money gram because the Bank and not happy with all this bullshit, and they want to issue your fund to this crook called Mr. Nelson Smith but i told them never to do such a thing until i heard from you.

So please My Dear pick up the below information and send the fee with the name of the banks receiver agent, CHARLES REX,send it through money gram i believe this will make it faster.

Or should tell the bank to issue you fund to Mr. Nelson Smith?

Send it with the below information and send it through money gram:

RECEIVERS NAME: CHARLES REX
ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
QUESTION: WHAT FOR
ANSWER: GOOD
AMOUNT: $175

The money gram may not require the text question and answer so do it this way okay?
Get back here with the payment slip/ MTCN...

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

Bullshits? Really. He's calling bullshits on Me? The nerve. Well I never.

YOUR GETTING TIERED OF ALL THIS BULLSHITS?????? What about me. Huh???
I'm the one who has to do all the traveling back and forth through treacherous terrain just to send you a measles 175 bucks . Then when we finally have a plan that works like mailing it, you have to keep pestering me everyday about it. Gebus You are being such a pain in my arse I ought to just wrap the money around a rock and throw it out the window of my plane and hit you on your friggin head with it. but your head is so friggin hard you probably wouldn't even know it hit you until you seen someone else pick up the money.
Your lucky your a lady and I'm a real man so I will make this one more trip to moneygram and send you the money.
Slim

Theres more but I have to edit it first to keep it SFW.
TBC

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

This just gets better as you go. Fantastic reading!

Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 12:53 pm

I'm waiting with baited breath for the next installment.

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Back to being friends...for now.

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

How are you doing my dear good friend, i hope fine.

Hello My Dear good friend, please do send it through money gram so that we can get this done fast, so that this fund will be issued to your name as the bank are the once putting more pressure on me as the so called Mr. Nelson Smith is still insisting that you send him to come and claim your fund.

However i am waiting for the payment slip from.

Send it with the below information and send it through money gram:

RECEIVERS NAME: CHARLES REX
ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
QUESTION: WHAT FOR
ANSWER: GOOD
AMOUNT: $175
MTCN.....
Senders Name.....
Sender address......

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

OK. One more time. Moneygram it is. It's too late now to go, everything will be closed when I get there. I'll have to get up real early tomorrow and drive down there.
I'll let you know when it's done.
John B. Slim

The lad gives me his seal of approval.

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

How are you doing my dear good friend, i hope fine.

Hello My Dear good friend, that will be okay if the money gram will be working by tomorrow then you do it by tomorrow as you have said okay?

But please not that the Bank here will issue your fund to you by tomorrow as soon as you send the MTCN,but the you will receive your ATM Card by Monday okay?

I will be waiting for the MTCN/payment slip...

Send it with the below information and send it through money gram:

RECEIVERS NAME: CHARLES REX
ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
QUESTION: WHAT FOR
ANSWER: GOOD
AMOUNT: $175
MTCN.....
Senders Name.....
Sender address......

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

And again and again and again, Pete and repete the same message.

Then right on time here comes the KKSS of death

Quote:

Subject: DO NOT REPLY - AUTOMATED FRAUD AWARENESS ALERT

DEAR MR. OR MRS. OR MS. PAULETTE BEAL,

This notice is an automated message from the MoneyGram Fraud Protection Program to inform you that an attempted transaction was made on 05/25/2013 at 0438 GMT.

A little upset the lad replies.

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

How are you doing my dear good friend, i hope fine.

Hello My Dear good friend, listen and listen very good i will tell the bank to issue your fund to mr nelson smith because i do not know what you are doing with the money gram, since i was born i have never see where this kind of happen.

If you can not send the fee without this filling of money gram, is better you forget about your fund, because i can see it very clear that you did not want this fund. Listen just go there and tell them to send this money and they should stop asking you for all this bulshit protocols.................okay? or should i tell the bank to issue your fund to this crook?

And why must i require to fill this rubish before they will give the MTCN, is likely to be that you are one telling them all this........... If it is like this i will inform the bank that you did not want to receive your fund..

Another thing is this can you send this fxxxing $175 to USA through western union without this filling of their form?
If yes then i will provide our agent name that will receive the fee to you so that you will do it today......
RECEIVERS NAME: CHARLES REX
ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
QUESTION: WHAT FOR
ANSWER: GOOD
AMOUNT: $175
MTCN.....
Senders Name.....
Sender address......

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

!!!!!!!!!!!!Cover you ears. You may not want to hear what comes next.

You must be out of your forking mind accusing me of forking this transaction up. I did as you told me and drove 3 hours to moneygram and gave them the forking money and left. I have to drive 3 forking hours back to find this shit in my email. It is you who are forking things up You obviously know shit about anything and now you dumb mother forker you want to send me back to western Union again??? You knew this would happen. You are playing forking games with me. Well thats it mother forker. No more games now fork off Lady. Shove the check up your arse sideways.

Oh Ya. Have a nice day.

Now I'm thinking that should be the end of it and I'll take my lumps like a man and go cry about it to my Wife.

Just when you think your out. They......

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

ATTN: T.H. Watcher,

From: Paulette Beal

How are you doing my dear good friend, i hope fine.

Hello My Dear good friend, listen and listen very good you have stay there and they will send the fee and give you the MTCN then you will start coming back okay? not if you go you drop the money for them, that is not the way to do it.

You have to use your hand and send fill their form with your own personal information and not me okay?

So go now and fill that their form by yourself and then send the fee and give me the MTCN.

RECEIVERS NAME: CHARLES REX
ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
QUESTION: WHAT FOR
ANSWER: GOOD
AMOUNT: $175
MTCN.....
Senders Name.....
Sender address......

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

I know we are not supposed to edumacate the lads but I figured it wouldn't hurt this time.

Paulette.
Did you not read the instructions that the Moneygram sent you with the form? Probably not!! so let me explain it to you.
From what I can understand from reading the form instructions from Moneygram is the receiver one Mr.CHARLES REX has to fill out the form completely then send a copy to me which I in turn the sender have to bring to the Moneygram office and give it to the manager who will in turn process it through the their system which will in turn release the funds to the receiver one Mr Charles Rex.
Please try to read and understand what I have told you.
Slim

TBC

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Just a friendly tug O war.

Quote:

UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION OF THE NG,

UN-SPECIAL AGENT ASSIGNED TO NIGERIA-ABUJA.

From: Paulette Beal

Hello dear good friend in Christ, how are you doing today hope everything is fine.

Listen to me my dear, i have never in my life seen where this kind of thing happen this way before, but since is like this and Charles Rex can not do such a thing because he will be fired if he try such thing...

So now you have to try some other bank and see if you can get it done by today or you send it to our agent in USA through western union.

I think it will be a good idea, pick up the below information and send the fee to our agent through western union, and make sure that the western union did not demand for all this filling of a thing okay?

Send it through western union or you can still send it through delivery..... fast okay?

Quote:

Same one as before

Receivers Name: xxxxx
Address: xxxx
Question: Good
Answer: Blues
Amount: $175usd

MTCN========?
Sender Name:
Sender Address:

Waiting to hear urgently from you!!

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Paulette Beal.

Dear Paulette.
Please answer me this. Who is watching the phone? Huh? Listen to me. We have already tried Western Union and you did not allow the forms to be filled out as requested by Western Union Homefront Security department. I have tried to send the funds by postal and you decided not to do that. Now you want to send the funds by postal to the same exact agent again? You people need to get your shits together and stop wasting my time. Over to you.
Slim

Quote:

Listen to me, send it to our agent through DHL/Ups/FedEx Courier service and this willonly take some days and she will receive it, so that your fund will be issued to you and this man called Mr Nelson will be arrested....

Paulette.
Listen to me well when I say you are one of the dumbest, stupidest persons I have ever talked to. You are dumber than a bag of hammers, Box of rocks and one of my favorites More numb than a frozen mukluk. So with that in mind let me copy and paste my response to that same suggestion your intellect came up with previously.

"Quote you stupid person you. Mrs. Paulette. Read this again.

You do not seem to understand how the postal service works up here where we live. The mail is sent and received by airplane. The plane will come here when the VFR are met and will let the postman fly. He cannot fly here anytime he wants to. he has to be given authorization by the FAA to jet the runway.
Sometimes in bad weather we won't see old Sky King for a month. Thats why I said I would let you know when the mail is picked up.
Is that clear now? Unquote"
Over to you.

Quote:

Then do it that way and please keep in touch okay?
However i apologize for the inconvenience i must have made you pass through okay?
Do it through delivery and inform me as soon as it is pick up...

Don't hold your breath.

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Iv'e been hitting about ten lads a day with the zip, zip mod and either I get no response or a tough nut that's not going to give up a bank account no how no way. Bummer.
Yesterday I logged into a old account and found some couple week old mails, so I decided to add a twist to the zip, zip mod.

From : DR. ZETI AKHTAR AZIZ

Quote:

Dear sir,

this is a very serious transaction and believe in me i am doing all i can to make sure i get this matter completed for you, like i explain to you, you will apply for the bank deduction by promising me that as soon as you pay this fee and your account is released to you, you will pay the rest of the fee as soon as you get the Transfer Authorization Permit Certificate and get your fund.

You can send me a promissory note to this effect and it will be presented to the bank after which we will release your account upon receipt of the fee. However since you will be paying a lesser amount for your bank deduction you will be sending the fee through western union to the location of the accountant in charge of confirming the bank deduction fee:

RECEIVERS NAME: Mugugu
ADDRESS: CLEVELAND , OHIO USA
AMOUNT: $250

As soon as you send the fee you are to get back to me with the ten digits mtcn numbers and i want to assure you that there is no more fee left to pay because as soon as this final fee is confirmed and we receive the promissory note from you your account will be released to you and you will get your fund after which you can pay the rest of the fee.

Waiting for your urgent reply,
Regards,
Dr. Zeti Akhtar Aziz

Dr. Zeti Akhtar Aziz
Sir,
Sorry, I have been on holiday and just got your mail, I hope it's not to late But
I can easily send you the 250 bucks right away.
Just send me your bank info and I'll Zip it right over to you .
I await you reply
Slim

Happy Fathers Day. Laughing

Quote:

Dear sir,

The following is the requested information:

Name of the Bank: Citibank N.A.
Account Number: yes
ABA Routing: 021000089
SWIFT Code: CITIUS 33
Address of the Bank: 411 Grand Street
New York, NY 10002
USA

Go ahead and make the deposit to our agent account and immediately after the deposit do forward the transfer slip for confirmation.

I am waiting for your urgent compliance.

My regards,
DR. ZETI AKHTAR AZIZ

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Most of the time I hardly ever read what their saying as I did with this one. I go right for the money shot of 250 bucks.
You can read it if you want.

Quote:

Attn: DEAR SIR,

This transaction is not by force and the reason why you were asked to pay $250 waiver deduction oath fee is quit genuine because the money is for the waiver deduction certificate which will make everything easy for us to prove your beneficiary status before we put our hands inside your approved fund and there is nothing we can do without you empowering us with this certificate so that all expenses regarding your fund clearance will be deducted from your capital fund.

This is a special arrangement to protect you from any upfront payment during the course of payment process and clearance. as soon as waiver deduction certificate is issued to you through court, we have to file the certificate to all clearance office including IRS and mandate them to go ahead and deduct all bills from the source and then the balance will be transferred to you as stipulated.

Please try your best on time to settle the Waiver Deduction Oath fee of $250 so that we will be able to confirm your beneficiary status of the fund and give you access to our online facility for you to start making your transfer. I feel that is explanation will help you make a better decision on this matter. Once again here is the information to make the payment of the waiver deduction Oath fee in LONDON UK GREAT BRITAIN.

RECEIVERS NAME: DARDEN MELVIA
ADDRESS: London, UK (GBR) GREAT BRITAIN
AMOUNT: $250

The little money we are demanding from you for the deduction oath fee is to officially authenticate the deduction certificate documents through legal court, that you are the person that authorize that we should deduct from your fund because you cannot just go to bank and demand that you said we should get some money from your fund for any expenses. Why don't you reason with me so that you will understand if we are telling you the truth or not.

Kindly confirm this important message with the payment information.

Best regards

DR. ZETI AKHTAR AZIZ

I didn't even notice he wanted to use Western Onion and I sent my latest Zip, Zip Mod.

Sorry, I have been on holiday and just got your mail, I hope it's not to late But I can easily send you the 250 bucks for the [b]waiver deduction oath fee..
Just send me your bank info and I'll Zip it right over to you.
I await you reply
Slim[/b]

Quote:

Dear sir,

The following is the requested information:

Name of the Bank: Citibank N.A.
Account Number: yes
ABA Routing: 021000089
SWIFT Code: CITIUS 33
Address of the Bank: 411 Grand Street
New York, NY 10002
USA

Go ahead and make the deposit to our agent account and immediately after the deposit do forward the transfer slip for confirmation.

I am waiting for your urgent compliance.

My regards,
DR. ZETI AKHTAR AZIZ

Posted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 9:26 pm

Okay I'll admit I didn't read all of it either but this 'Fee' is something else:

Quote:

Waiver Deduction Oath fee

I think I'll slowly slip this into a Lad's Lexicon - The Waiver Deduction Goat Fee...Er Feel and The Waiter Decoction Goat Fleece or The Whaler DeEducation Ghost Fleet...okay enough for now.

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