My Lizzie

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 12:51 am

As many of you know, Senagalese Scammers are about the laziest of them all. Personally, I have never even taken an account from one but have at the same time had a lot of laughs. This is very early in the Bait ( and I mean that) but with any luck it will be kinda funny.

So let us begin:

Quote:

Hello,
My name is Liz,I saw your e-mail on the web decide to drop you few line. e-mail reply me back; So that we'll discuss more I look to receive your reply soon,
Regard,
Liz.

I sent a standard reply:

Quote:

Hi Liz,

You sure sound interesting.

At this point I usually get a few stolen photos and a script but I did not expect this:

Quote:

How are you today? I am very happy for your response to the mail I sent to you, how was your night? Mine, well I thank God for keeping me and my sister till this moment here in Dakar Senegal.

My names are Lizzie Edgard from Darfur Region Juba of Sudan and presently I and my younger sister is residing in the country here in Dakar Senegal as a result of the death of my family by the rebels
My parents were killed by rebels in our residence house in the city Darfur.

My late father Dr. Adams Edgard, was a merchant in Diamond and Gold and the Minister of Education before the brutal killing of him and my mother took place, as a result of the civil war that is going on until now in Darfur-Sudan.

It is only me and my sister that is alive now and we managed to make our way to the West Africa country called Senegal through the missionary. Me and my sister are leaving now in a Church camp here in Oakam North, 12 km from the capital city of Dakar Senegal, please don't be discouraged for hearing this.
However I am using the computer at the office of the Rev.Father who is in charge of the camp to write to you.

I would like to know more about you.Your likes and dislikes, your hobbies and what you think about me and my sister, remember that you caught my attention in that website where I got your contact and wrote to you in first place.

Attached here is my pictures for you, though I am not all that photogenic, I hope you wouldn't mind, Awaiting for your reply soonest.

Best Regards,
Lizzie.

Yeah I know it is a standard Script but a few things jumped out at me. For some reason all of this was really familiar! If only I could figure it out!

Shucks! Why is this so familiar?

Skipping a bit ahead as My Lizzie has a wee bit of urgency in her posts and I don't want to piss her off. Anyhow the Banker's Email bounces (honest).

Quote:

Hello My Lizzie,

I hope you and your Sister are well today. I tried to contact the Bank but received this:

Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:

[email protected]

Technical details of permanent failure:
Google tried to deliver your message, but it was rejected by the server for the recipient domain uk2.net by mx.uk2.net.cust.a.hostedemail.com. [216.40.42.4].

The error that the other server returned was:
571 5.7.1 Message contains spam or virus or sender is blocked : 18589:2928285440|A16F873

Perhaps there is a problem?

Either way my Dearest, could you send me copies of the certificates that you have? I would appreciate it. I'd also like to see some more photographs of you and your Sister.

I am pretty sure that Lizzie's Sister will be a hot one ( assuming she is the one on the right or is it left? ).

Quote:

Hello dear,
How are you today?
Yes, I hope the bank would definitely get back to you and I maybe it's because it's weekend and I wrote them myself like I told you previously. Again like I told you before that I am having a difficult time here yes,concerning more photo of me I only have another installed in the PC now which I am including in this message it's me and my kid sister Nana. Have a splendid weekend. and I need your picture too please. Once again,thank you very much for your passion,concern and effort input so far. I look forward to hearing from you sooner.

Yours Truly,
Lzzie.

Awwww Sweet Jesus hanging on the Wall you are in in for a World of Hurt Lizzie. Have you not learned about Canadian Men before ? Didn't Jaunty Boi learn you more better? How's about that Stupid Mr. Sholtz? C'mon Toots work with me!!! These Bankers had better not be Scottish Hippies that's all I can say....

Edit: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=222794

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I knew she still loved you!

Posted: Wed Mar 27, 2013 11:37 pm

I've been taking this one real slow like; so I don't screw anything up. Crossing the Tees and Dotting the eyes (or something like that). Right now Mals is dealing with those Hibernian Bankers, Lawyers, Reverend Fathers, Lizzie and that Fine Sister of hers to boot. All is going smoothly:

Quote:

Hello dear,
Thanks for being there for us? But can I ask you some few questions hope you won't get upset? Is your name also "John" ? And why haven't you been able to attach some photographs of you to me?
Alright, please update me as soon as you heard from the lawyer because when I and the Reverend Father visited his office he made mention of money being involved in this case and honestly I have no dimn and he said that when I will write to you that I should also ask you to endeavour to forward your complete details to him to enable him recognize you properly and proceed in the procurement of those documents but also warns that it will cost you and I some few thousands of dollars to obtain such legal sevices from his law chamber and these are what the lawyer said as I didn't remember to put everything in writing to you previously. But nontheless if you do finance it and we have this successfully achived then be rest assured to be rewarded handsomely by me and my sister and most especially God will also reward you hugely for your kind efforts and positive concern shown so far in this regard. I really owe you lots of gratitude.

Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

And I says Pardon? John? Have I been rumbled? What the Heck is going on? What the Blue Hell is she talking about? Oh...well I see...makes sense. I've been signing off as John for the last little while. Dang! How do I get out of this?

Quote:

Hi Lizzie,

Sorry I had forgotten about the photograph. I hope it is to your liking.

My middle name is John but how would you even know that? My Mother actually called me that when I was growing up and sometimes I still find myself responding to it but I thought I was over that. It brings back such bad memories. Sorry Darling I'm getting a bit misty eyed here.

Anyhow I've not had the chance to look over the message from the Lawyer yet but will tonight.

Talk soon,

Mals

Obviously I have way too much Blood in my Alcohol system....

Posted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 12:12 am

As luck would have it, Lizzie bought into the whole middle name thing:

Quote:

Hi dear,
Thanks for your sincerity and straighforwardness, I came to know about your name"John" when you wrote me previously you conluded one of your letters to me with "John and the other with Mals" which has been often used by you so when I red their message and noticed John so I was some kind of curious but now you have satisfied my curiosity thanks once again. My dear, please continue in this your earnst effort to see that everything works out smoothly so that me and my sister will leave this ugly place for your place after this transfer is settled and I can't wait to witness the end of this storm of life.

Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

Ain't she sweet? That ought to change in a while but I am not holding my breath. So after a whole bunch of 'Baiting Fluid' I had the whole oppressive Mother thing going through my head and came up with this Piece O Crap:

Quote:

Thank you for the understanding. My Mother was rather controlling and demanding to say the least. She would never let me talk to other girls around town even if they were in need. I remember one time when I was trying to help a young girl who was hungry and it was raining outside and she said something to this effect; I tell you no! I won't have you bringing some young girl in for supper! By candlelight I suppose, in the cheap erotic fashion with cheap erotic minds. She never encouraged me but always criticized.

Can you tell me more about your likes and dislikes Lizzie? Personally as a Naturalist, I really enjoy taxidermy. I really enjoy stuffing things.

Talk soon,

Mals

PS - I have contacted the Lawyer with my information so you should be out of this mess before too long. Then we can perhaps meet and realize our dreams.

Yeah you can call me Mals or John but Norman Bates might be a bit more fitting...anyhow I thought I went a wee bit overboard but the Lawyer contacted me soon afterward. It was the same old schlock that we have come to expect but had this rather amusing line in it:

Quote:

THESE DOCUMENTS WILL HELP AND PROTECT YOU FROM TRANSFERRING THE MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT SUCCESSFULLY

To put the icing on the cake, My Lizzie told me all about her likes and dislikes from a Fresh (Prince of Bel Air) point of view:

Quote:

Hi dear,
How are things in general with you? I am so grateful to you and my sister and the Reverend father both send their regards to you.
Again, you asked me of my "likes and dislikes"? Well nothing really much about my likes and dislikes but few amongs them that I can state to you here are there
Likes; Honesty,Humanity,Love,Unity,Wisdom,Optimism and Straight-forwardness.
Dislikes;Dishonesty,Inhumanity,Hate,Foolishness,Fear and Indolence.
and my hobbies are; I like watching movies such as Documentary, Winfrey Opara show, Will Smith show, Drama, Comedy and Detective.
I listening to music such as R & B, Soul,Pop, Country, Reggae and Gospel.
I would stop here wish you a splendid Easter Holiday in advance. And do keep me informed about your communications with the lawyer okay. Once again thank you for kindness and sincere and positive input so far and pray that God will surely us through.

If she told me that Petticoat Junction was her favourite show I might have just dropped it right then and there. Oh well sucks to be My Lizzie!

Baiting Guru Joined: 28 Feb 2013 Posts: 3152

She's two timing you. I've just start baiting her as well Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 9:40 pm

^That is okay with me! John...er...I mean Mals has always been more interested in her Sweet, Sweet Sister.

Go get her! This one can (and probably will) fill your Siggy with all sorts of Rants and Cusses.

So Mals sent a quick note this morning just to keep the ball rolling:

Quote:

Hi My Lizzie,

Thank you for the kind words. It is so nice to have a reassuring Woman in my life for once. Mother was a different sort and had a few episodes but we all go a little Mad sometimes. She wouldn't even harm a fly though.

Have an enjoyable Easter and pass on my wishes to your Sister and the Reverend Father.

Mals

When my Girls are liberated from Senegal I think I will enlist them to help me reopen the Motel.

Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:44 pm

I decided to go silent on Lizzie to see if she would go Nuts but nothing of the sort:

Quote:

Hi dear,
how was your Easter holiday? My dear we give thanks to almighty God,but to be sincere with you our Easter festivity wasn't anything meaningful except the lives and sound health which God in his merciful kindness gave to us,our holiday here is so boring and others were and are still enjoying their different respective gifts which were sent by their foreign partners.
So tell me what was the last discussion between you and our lawyer? And when is he delivering his services to us so that we may submit those documents to the bank for proceeding? I want you to be keeping me informed okay. Do enjoy yourself and have a wonderful day long.

Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

After a Bitchin' Easter Weekend, Mals completely forgot about that Lawyer:

Quote:

Hi Lizzie,

I remember asking the Lawyer for some more information but haven't heard back. That was Thursday but with the Holidays I suppose things are a bit mixed up.

There appears to be a Dearth of Punctuation in Senegal these days (I Double Dog Dare you to read this without taking a Breath):

Quote:

Hi dear,
I just got a message from he the(reverend father) that he got a telephone call from the lawyer himself and asked after you so I decided to inform you email via and there I found your newest message saying that you had e-mailed him last Thursday and he hasn't replied you and the I pleaded with the reverend father to call the lawyer again and he did and I also conversed with him and said that he did receive your messages first that you requested for is legal services which he replied and demanded your details and with urgency you responded to it and he details and totaled the cost for the legal services to you that same Thursday and he's waiting for you as you haven't responded to that effect and he demands you call him immediately through his telephone number so that you both can converse via intercom. Please this is the latest message from the lawyer and do update me whatever transpires between you and the lawyer okay. And less I forget the Rev.Father sends his regards to you. Just in-case you do find it little bit hard in calling the lawyer do send him email so that he would resend to you his previous message to you okay and here is his phone number again +221 (DIAL-A-MUGU)

Yours truly,
Lizzie

Not a Bloody word about her Sweet Sweet Sister! That simply will not do!

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 11:04 pm

Mals sent a couple quick notes off this morning to stir things up. Lizzie was prompt:

Quote:

I would first of all ask about your life over there? I was a bit late today in replying due to my sister's sudden illness as she felt very sylvia headache last night and this morning I have to go the local nearby pharmacy to get some drugs for her with the little amount of money the Rev.Father gave to me and she still needs more medical attention and some fruits to regain the lost vitamines according to the pharmacist but no money to get those things.

I got your mail now and thank God the reverend father is right here in his office when I am writing this reply to you and I told him what the lawyer is asking for and he said that it's usual thing and he quickly called the lawyer and we both talked on the phone and the lawyer said that he isn't the only one involved in this issue as the matter needs ultimate attention and endorsement and which must be met with and by so doing it requires even far more than what he charges you.

He further said that the reasons why he never charge more is because of the Rev.Father and in such matters that even in the foreign countries it cost higher than that. Honestly after he spoke all these I personally was lip-tight as I never knew it could cost this much.

Please my dear if this is within your capability to react to it swiftly and you won't regret it at all please you already know our critical situation please do all you can to settle the lawyer's asking fee and thereafter I and my sister will definitely reward you handsomely okay. Thanks for the update and honesty shown so far I really appreciate your kind of person and can't wait any longer to be with you and talk and breath into you lol. Do take good care of yourself and keep me updated okay.

Yours Lovely,
Lizzie.

The Lawyer sent the usual WU/MG now type message:

Quote:

DEAR MR MALS JOHN,

I HEREBY INFORM YOU THAT I RECEIVED YOUR MAIL WITH ITS CONTENT JUST AS REQUIRED OF YOU BY THIS NOBLE LAW FIRM AND WAS QUICK TO REPLY YOU THAT SAME WEEK MAYBE THERE WAS MIXED UP SOMEWHERE OR YOU MISTAKENLY DELETED MY LETTER AND I REMEMBER VIVIDLY EVER SENDING SIMILAR LETTER TO YOU LAST THURSDAY.

"MEANWHILE! FROM MY POSITIVE INQUIRIES, YOU HAVE TO SEND TO ME"

Snipped a whole bunch of Filler

THANKS FOR ACKNOWLEDGING OUR PROFESSIONALISM.

Mals has decided to go ahead as this all looks like a really good idea. The Prick of a Lawyer isn't swaying though:

Quote:

DEAR MR MALS JOHN,

I HEREBY WRITE TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR MESSAGE HAS BEEN RECEIVED BUT NOT QUITE CONVINCING AS THE MATTER AT HAND DEMANDS URGENCY IN TRANSFERRING THE SAID AMOUNT WHICH WAS CHARGED OF YOU BY ME.
I ALSO RECEIVED A TELEPHONE CALL TO THIS EFFECT FROM THE REVEREND FATHER AND YOUR PARTNER IN QUESTION, DEMANDING TO KNOW WHY SUCH SUM WAS REQUIRED OF YOU IN ORDER TO RENDER THE LEGAL SERVICES REQUIRED OF ME AND I DID EXPLAIN TO THEM WHY THE COST HAS TO BE LITTLE BIT HIGH AND WHICH EVEN YOUR LAWYER OR LEGAL ADVISER WOULD CONFIRM THAT IN YOUR COUNTRY AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES IT COSTS BULK TO OBTAIN SUCH LEGAL SERVICES.

AND HERE I BRIEF YOU ONCEMORE! AS MATTER OF FACT THIS IS ONE OF THE LOWEST CHARGE MADE IN TERMS OF ISSUES LIKE THIS I DID PUT THE REVEREND FATHER AND YOUR FRIEND INTO CONSIDERATION AND PERHAPS THIS SUM REQUESTED IS NOT MEANT FOR ME ALONE BUT THE ATTORNEY AND JUDGE AND MY LEGAL COLLEAGUES ALL HAVE PORTION IN THIS SUM AND FEW SUM GOES TO THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AS WELL SO YOU SEE THAT AT THE END I MAY REALIZE LITTLE OF THE SUM.

ONE MAJOR THING MR MALS JOHN,
I WANT TO QUICKLY BRING TO YOUR KIND NOTICE THAT THIS LAW-CHAMBER HAS PROTOCOLS AND CLIENT(S) ARE ADVISED TO ABIDE BY THESE PROTOCOLS AND NOT ON THE CONTRARY.

DEMANDING A BANK ACCOUNT IS NOT A BAD IDEA, BUT AT THIS JUNCTURE I WOULD SAY IT IS NOT RELEVANT AND GRANTED, AS THE AMOUNT REQUESTED OF YOU IS TO BE TRANSACTED BY QUICK MONEY TRANSFER AGENCIES WHICH I RECOMMENDED ONE TO YOU(MONEY-GRAM MONEY TRANSFER AGENCY) AND THAT IS ALL.
YOU EITHER LOOK FOR "MONEY-GRAM" MONEY TRANSFER AGENCY AROUND YOUR NEIGHBOUR-HOOD AND WIRE THE COST CHARGES OR I WILL DEEM YOU NOT READY TO MAKE THE TRANSFER AT ALL FOR THE LEGAL SERVICES TO PROCEED IN YOUR FAVOR IF YOU SO DESIRE MY LEGAL SERVICES PLEASE DO AS INSTRUCTED BY THIS NOBLE LAWFIRM TO ENABLE ME GO FOR THE PROCUREMENT OF THOSE DOCUMENTATIONS.

This Damn Lawyer is giving me a Very Sylvia Headache. Best get to the Fruit store ASAP!

Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:31 am

Wonder if they are related to my Senegal bunch? In which case, their favorite bank account is closed Rolling Eyes

Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 10:18 pm

^Congrats! I've never taken a Bank Account from a Senegalese Scammer. Mind you I usually just try to Piss them off with idiotic Banter.

Lizzie starts off in a rather good mood but as you will see ends up acting just as I hoped she would:

Quote:

Hi dear,
How are you today and that of your family? I hope you had a wonderful dream last night? So tell me what did you dream of just be sincere okay? And again how have you been going with the lawyer, have you sent him the money yet? You know that you have to keep me informed so that I would inform the Rev.Father and we both will persuade him to quicken things in our favour. Thanks for your kind understanding. My sister's health condition is deteriorating but I give all the thanks and glories to God for I know she would soon be healed and regain her normal self. I look forward to hearing from you sooner.

Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

Dreams? I remember Pee Wee Herman having a Dream about a Snake wearing a vest but I digress:

Quote:

Hi My Lizzie,

You know what I dreamt of don't you? My you are a saucy one aren't you?

I hope and pray for your Sister now and I am sure she will improve soon. With you by her side, I think all will be okay before too long.

Last night I read the demands of the Lawyer and wasn't overly impressed. He is rather pushy isn't he? Not to worry Lizzie I'll straighten him out before long and then we can be together.

Pretty mild stuff really. How was I do know that Lizzie wouldn't like some of my terminology?

Quote:

Hi dear,
I don't quite fancy your last mail because I didn't understand what you really meant by me (Saucy) which literarily mean "Rude and Disrespectful" so what exactly did you mean? And again you said that you did receive from our lawyer and weren't impressed and he's (Pushy) which also meaning "confident and ambitious", so what's the lawyer's demand actually? And why were you not over impressed? Please I need some explanation cause I am a little bit confused here. Do have a splendid day

Yours Lovely,
Lizzie.

Lizzie if you are confused now then perhaps we had better call the whole thing off. Mals has not yet begun to make your life confusing.

Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 10:04 pm

I am really starting to like this 'Lawyer'. He is quick to respond, types in all Capitals, Bolds everything, sends it twice etc.

Quote:

DEAR MR MALS JOHN,

I HEREBY WRITE TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR MESSAGE HAS BEEN RECEIVED BUT NOT QUITE INTRESTING AS IT LACKS SUFFICIENT SATISFACTORY IN ITS CONTENTS AND WITH DUE RESPECT I EARNESTLY EXPRESS MY UNDILUTED PLEASURE TO THIS EFFECT.

YOUR INQUISITIVE CURIOSITY TO MY DEMANDS AND METHOD ON HOW YOU SHOULD HOWEVER TRANSFER THE PAYMENT IS SOMEHOW JEOPARDIZING THE INTEGRITY NOT ONLY MY PROFESSIONALISM BUT ALSO OF THIS NOBLE LAWFIRM.

LISTEN AND LISTEN REAL GOOD MR MALS, MY CLIENT(S) ARE EXPECTED TO WORK IN COLLABORATION WITH ME AND ALSO IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY LEGAL ADVICES TO ENABLE US ACHIEVE A COMMON GOAL AS NEEDED OF BOTH PARTIES, AND NOT CONTRADICTING AND QUESTIONING MINE AND THE DECISIONS AND DEMANDS OF MY LAW CHAMBER WHEN IT IS NOT NECESSARY.

I DEEMED IT A NECESSITY AND THAT IS WHY I HAD TO INSTRUCT YOU TO APPLY THE QUICK AND CHEAP FINANCIAL AGENCY WHICH IN SPECIFICATION I RECOMMENDED ONE FOR YOU AND THERE YOU ARE ESCALATING THE APPARENT OF YOUR MIND RATHER THAN COMPLYING WITH MY INSTRUCTIVE DEMAND, WHICH I THINK IS MORE RELEVANT AND I SEE MUCH REASONS WHY THE SENSE OF SKEPTICISM AND ARGUMENT SHOULD EMERGE IN THE FIRST INSTANCE WHEN MY POINT SHOULD OBVIOUSLY BE A SOUND AND CLEAR PERSPECTIVE TO THE PERCEPTION OF AN UNDERSTANDING PERSONALITY LIKE YOU.

NOW IF YOU MUST KNOW MY REASONS WHY I DEMANDED YOU TO GO BY SUCH MONEY TRANSFER AGENCY. REASONS ARE;
A). BECAUSE THE AMOUNT IN QUESTION IS NOT AS BIG AS NOT BE ACCEPTED BY SUCH QUICK FINANCIAL AGENCY.

B). BANK TRANSFERRING PROCESS WILL DEFINITELY PROLONG THE TRANSACTION, BUT WITH SUCH FAST MONEY TRANSFER COMPANIES IT TAKES FEWER HOURS FOR THE FUND TO ARRIVE ITS DESTINATION.

C). BANKS FOREIGN EXCHANGE RATE IS LOWER AND TRANSFER CHARGES ARE MUCH HIGHER THAN THAT OF WESTERN UNION, MONEYGRAM AND HOST OF OTHER QUICK MONEY TRANSFER AGENCIES.

D). THIS LAW-FIRM HAS SOME POLICIES AND PROCEDURES OF ATTENDING TO SUCH MATTERS LIKE YOURS AND WHICH THE PARTY OR PARTIES INVOLVED MUST OBSERVE AND ABIDE BY ALL PROTOCOLS.

THAT IS ALL FOR NOW MR MALS JOHN, I REST MY CASE.
I AWAIT YOUR PROMPT POSITIVE RESPONSE TO THIS EFFECT.

Kinda reminds me of a Glaswegian crossed with a Rodent with a Wee Smattering of Perry Mason for good measure. I really wanted to suggest Sex and Travel to him but refrained. Anyhow, Mr. Mals John really doesn't like this Dick's attitude but he can't go to Mother right now as she is locked up in the Root Cellar. I suppose Lizzie will have to do:

Quote:

Hi My Lizzie,
This is the sort of message that the Lawyer has been sending me. I do not appreciate his overly Didactic approach Darling.

How are you and your Sister today?

Lizzie like Sarah always gives me a late in the day reply:

Quote:

Hi dear, I have gone through the lawyer's message as forwarded to me by you and shew it to the reverend father for his opinion and he advises that you shouldn't let the lawyer's attitude boether you as he isn't going to be our lawyer forevere it's for temporary and we will part ways and I saw good reasons with the reverend father and you should try and comply with the lawyer since he demands you to send the money to him by that means I think you should try and take it easy with the lawyer after all as the reverend has said he's not going to be our lawyer in future affairs so don't worry your pretty head my dear just do as he said okay. My sister's health isn't improving either but I give glory to God and pray for his divine healing upon my sister and the problem is money to purchase the prescribed drugs and the same time fruits and other eatable items she needs. So when exactly are you sending the money to the lawyer so that I will inform the Reverend Father and we would both go to the lawyer's office and persuade him for quicker processing of the documents? Do have a happy weekend and my warmly regard to your family.

Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

Posted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 12:40 am

I figured I would just let everything stew over the Weekend but Lizzie had other plans:

Quote:

Hi dear
I do not know how to express the conflicting emotions that have surged like a storm through my heart all night long. I only know that first and foremost in all my thoughts has been the glorious confirmation you gave me last night in the my sweet dream- without effort, unconsciously, of course - of all I have ever thought of your mind and heart.

You have the greatest soul, the noblest nature, the sweetest, most loving heart I have ever known, and my love and admiration for you have increased so much since we’ve known each other that it still amazes me.

You are more wonderful and lovely in my eyes than you ever were before; and my pride and joy and gratitude that you should love me with such a perfect love are beyond all expression.

Love Always,
Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

Love is in the air! Mals had best retort:

Quote:

My Lizzie,

Your words are like Music to my ears. I have always wished to meet a Woman such as yourself; one that knows how I feel and listens to my cares and concerns. You are so different than Mother. Call me Psycho, call me Insane but written across my Heart, will always be your name!

*Gentle Reader - Notice how I don't mention money or lawyers or all that important stuff. Someone will be 'Psycho' before long and it probably won't be Mals/John. Dang I even forgot about that Sweet Looking Sister and Reverend Father Marky Mark.

Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2013 10:41 pm

Mals may be Harvesting some Swine after all:

Quote:

DEAR MR MALS JOHN,

SEQUEL TO YOUR LETTER AND THAT OF YOUR PARTNER, I HEBEBY WRITE TO YOU TO BRING TO YOUR KIND KNOWLEDGE ABOUT MY STANCES IN DEMANDING YOU TO APPLY FAST MONEY TRANSFER FINANCIAL INSTITUTION PRECISELY (MONEYGRAM) AND AS WELL MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND AND ACKNOWLEDGE THE PRINCIPLE FACTS IN MY DEMAND AND THIS IS DUE TO OUR LEGAL PROTOCOLS OF RECEIVING MINIMUM SUM FROM CLIENT OR CLIENTS ABROAD AND AS A PRINCIPAL HEAD OF THIS LAW CHAMBER DO YOU EXPECT ME TO IGNORE SUCH POLICY?

WELL, I WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS THIS WITH MY OTHER LEARNED COLLEAGUES IN THE NEXT LAWYERS' FORUM AND THEREAFTER I WOULD UPDATE YOU WITH THE OUTCOME OF OUR DECISIONS, BUT BEFORE I DO THAT I WOULD WANT YOU TO RESPOND TO THIS LETTER WITH URGENCY WHEN EXACTLY ARE YOU MAKING THE PAYMENT DATE MUST BE SPECIFICALLY DETAILED TO ME TO ENBLE ME KNOW WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO CONVINCE MY COLLEAGUES TO PROVIDE A BANK ACCOUNT BY WHICH YOU CAN MAKE THE SAID COST CHARGES INTO.

NOTE; I AM NOT PROMISING YOU ANYTHING YET IF MY MEETING WITH OTHER COLLEAGUES CONCERNING YOUR ISSUES WOULD YIELD POSITIVE RESULT IN YOUR FAVOUR OR NOT JUST KEEP YOUR FINGER CROSSED.
I LOOK FORWARD TO RECEIVING YOUR SWIFT RESPONSE REGARDING A SPECIFIC DATE YOU WOULD BE EXPECTED FOR THE PAYMENT.

THAT IS ALL FOR NOW MR MALS JOHN, I REST MY CASE.
THANKS FOR ACKNOWLEDGING MY PROFESSIONALISM.

What a Dick!

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Such a peckersnot! I am surprised he is not signing off with a "Death Before Honor" thing.

Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 11:17 pm

^He was nice enough to Cough up a Bac O Bit:

Quote:

DEAR MR MALS JOHN,

I HEREBY WRITE IN REFERENCE TO THE RECEIPT OF YOUR LETTER, AND TO REMIND YOU OF WHAT I LAST STATED TO YOU THAT I AM GOING TO DELIBERATE OVER THIS MATTER WITH MY OTHER COLLEAGUES IN LAWYER'S FORUM, AND HERE I AM TO OFFICIALLY AND AUTHORITATIVELY BRING TO YOUR KNOWLEDGE THAT YOUR WISH HAS BEEN TAKEN INTO ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND THE REQUEST OF YOU TRANSACTING THE LEGAL CHARGES THROUGH BANK TO BANK TRANSACT HAS BEEN GRANTED AS WELL WITH GREAT CONSIDERATION.

AND I WANT TO USE THIS MEDIUM, TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE STRICTLY ADVISED NOT TO DISCLOSE ANY INFORMATION PERTAINING TO THIS BANK ACCOUNT AND ITS HOLDER'S DATA TO ANYBODY EXCEPT TO YOUR BANKER(S) WHERE YOU OUGHT TO MAKE THE PAYMENT.
BELOW HERE ARE THE ACCOUNT DETAILS BELOW;

BANK NAME : SOCIETE GENERALE DE BANQUES AU SENEGAL (SGBS)
ADDRESS : AGENCE YOFF. DAKAR SENEGAL
ACCOUNT HOLDER : MUGU .C. GODSON
ACCOUNT No: : Blah
IBAN CODE : Blah
SWIFT CODE : Blah
BANK CODE : Blah
CODE GUICHET : Blah
RIB : Blah

PLEASE, ENDEAVOUR TO SCAN AND ATTACH TO ME THE (PAYMENT SLIP) IMMEDIATELY AFTER YOU MUST HAVE EFFECTED THE TRANSFER OF THE MONEY TO US FOR MY CONFIRMATION.

ONCEMORE! YOU ARE CAUTIONED AGAINST ANY EXPOSURE OF THIS BANK ACCOUNT DETAIL TO ANYBODY OTHER THAN YOURSELF AND THE STAFF OF THE BANK MANAGEMENT WHERE YOU ARE DUE TO MAKE THE PAYMENT.
ON BEHALF OF THIS CORPORATES LAW CHAMBER, I EARNESTLY AND GLADLY WELCOME YOUR MAXIMUM COOPERATION WITH THIS NOBLE LAWFIRM.

THAT IS ALL FOR NOW MR MALS JOHN, I REST MY CASE.
THANKS FOR ACKNOWLEDGING MY PROFESSIONALISM.

Since I have been spending so much quality time with Barrister Butthead, Lizzie has been somewhat silent. That changed once the account was passed out. Please make sure you breath if you plan on reading this one as there is a sad lack of punctuation in Senegal this evening:

Quote:

Hi,
I am physically and psychologically down due to my sister's illness she's been lying in the hospital bed with little or no improvement ever since Saturday's night I have been with her here and hardly done anything and that's more reason why I haven't been able to check my mails and I saw your two messages unreplied and just doing the replying now and thanking you for the positive efforts and concerns invested so far on our behalf. Can you imagine I auctioned my jewelleries which was given to me as present by my late mother during my 17th birthday anniversary at just $600 which is by value those items worth more than $2500 and yet the money realized from the sales of my precious jewelleries was nowhere near the hospital requirements which according to the medical doctor he said that my sister is suffering shortage of blood and other things and she needs to have a stomach operation so as to remove the main source of the problem and blood needs to be purchase from the hospital blood-bank so that she can take in the blood before anything can happen and it cost bulk and even other medical prescriptions no money to acquire them even the Reverend Father has as well spent some money on this issues. So how far and well have you been relating with our lawyer?
I look forward to hearing from you sooner.

Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

Uh oh! This sounds serious; best ignore her:

Quote:

Hello once again,
How are you? Did you get a message from the lawyer? And did you also receive my today's message? I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

With any luck there should be a couple of choice messages waiting for me in the morning. I've been wrong with Sarah er I mean Lizzie before though....

Posted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 11:15 am

See, Senegalese piggies are possible!

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

That dam slut stopped responding to me after I asked her if-n she likes to ride the pony. I guess I'll just have to poker from another direction and see if I can get in.
I'll bet that Father In is getting more than he can handle from his gaggle of fraggles. lucky dog.

Baiting Guru Joined: 28 Feb 2013 Posts: 3152

I think she's dropped me after I asked for sexier pictures of the two of them.
My suggestion the three of us live polygamously, however, that was ok. Go figure.
I like that she's got a short fuse though. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 11:17 pm

@Capone - It took me just about a year to actually get an account from a Senegalese Scammer...Holy Crap I've been here a year today! Best have a beer to celebrate!

I've Baited this one several times and she has been known to come back after a few weeks so be patient (or hit her again from another account). Her short fuse is a thing of legend! I love the rants but I really love the growing frustration when she thinks the money is just out of her reach.

Things are going swimmingly ( is that a word?) right now but that should change sometime next week:

Quote:

Hi dear,
Okay, thanks for that wonderful and positive efforts and I really appreciate it.
The Reverend Father requested that you should send to me the receipt being issued to you by your bank where you had made the deposit so that he (Rev.Father) and I would print it out and take it to the lawyer for complete proof and you should also inform the lawyer himself about this development, which I think he makes sense there. My sister is a little bit fine today and you too? So when exactly should the lawyer be expecting the fund from your bank? So that I would tell it to the Reverend and he will update the lawyer at earliest.
Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

Ignored.

Quote:

Hi dear,
How are you doing over there? Hopefully fine. It seems you are much busy this weekend aren't you? So, I thought I should received a response from you regarding what I humbly asked of you previously and when exactly should the lawyer expect the fund that you transferred so that we should also notify him? Again the Reverend Father said that he called the lawyer yesterday but on a different issue entirely not concerning us anyway. Lastly the Rev. says if you could send me the receipt of the payment it would help us very well to go to the lawyer and he can take it to his bank and they should confirm it and the commencement of the documents can take place immediately. And I am going to see and be with my ill kid sister at the hospital right away.
I wish you a splendid weekend.

Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

My response can wait until Sunday I think. I certainly hope that doesn't piss her off....

Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 12:53 am

Dang maybe Mr. Mals John should have responded on Sunday after all:

Quote:

Hi dear,
How are things in general with you over there? I sincerely hope all are well with you.
Though as for me and my sister ain't good weekend and days for us but nontheless we are thankful to God at least for the lives attribute.
Again, it seems you forgot something which you ought not to, I mean the request that I made to you about the payment that you said that you had made to the lawyer and the Reverend Father demands proof and so am I to enable us understand when the lawyer and his colleague withdraw the fund and persuade him for the preparation of those documents. I thought, you should be attaching to me the receipt of the payment which as you paid in to the bank they will surely issue a receipt to you? Meanwhile! I have e-mailed the lawyer telling him that you said that the requested fee has been transferred to his given bank account and in addition you said that he should be able to receive maybe earlier this week. But the lawyer was quick to receive to my message and as well called the Reverend Father and told him that this is not the plan,you always do things on the contrary to his instruction that why should you transact such money without letting him know upto this time and no attachment slip of the payment as he had fondly advised you and yet you expect him to believe? That you don't do things in your own way when you have a lawyer representing you and that what did was total disobedience to his orders and he isn't happy about your attitude that you send money since Thursday last week and haven't notified him till date and that he's so disappointed at your moves and he also threatens to quit this job if you continue to be reluctant and not abid to his instruction. All these things the lawyer said on the phone and even mailed me as I am writing to you. But my dear, I thought I asked you this before if you did inform the lawyer about the payment? I suggested to you to as well notify him after you must have notified me first didn't I? Please your urgent response to this message would do more good than harm as our lawyer is so upset.

Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

Yeah I suppose I could have Bolded some more but what's the point? Anyhow Mals asked Lizzie to send on the Lawyer's message:

Quote:

DEAR MISS LIZZIE EDGARD,

I AM GLAD THAT YOU SQUEEZED OUT YOUR TIME AS EARLIER AS TO WRITE TO MY LAW FIRM REGARDING THE ISSUE ON GROUND AND YOU BROUGHT A GOOD NEWS THAT YOUR PARTNER MR MALS JOHN HAD MADE THE PAYMENT SINCE LAST THURSDAY IT IS VERY AWESOME AND HONEST OF HIM.

BUT DEAR LIZZIE, IF I MUST TELL YOU NOW JUST LIKE I SPOKE WITH YOUR REVEREND FATHER ON THE INTERCOM THAT I AM NOT PLEASED WITH YOUR FRIEND (MR MALS) TO BE FRANK WITH YOU, THIS IS WAS NOT ACCORDING TO THE PLAN THAT HE MUST HOWEVER ATTACH TO ME THE PAYMENT SLIP ISSUED TO HIM AFTER HE MUST HAVE PAID IN TO THAT DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT BUT HE NEVER CONTACTED ME SINCE THEN, AND I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM HIM EITHER BY INTERCOM OR VIA E-MAIL.

AND THIS IS RIDICULOUS AND AWFUL TO MY LIKING, HOW COULD HE HAVE MADE SUCH PAYMENT SINCE LAST THURSDAY AND COULD NOT TELL IT TO HIS LAWYER BEING "ME"? THIS IS VERY CONTRADICTING TO THE RULES AND REGULATIONS GUIDING THIS LAW CHAMBER AND HE KNOWS IT AND I AM VERY UPSET WITH HIS ATTITUDE AT LEAST HE SHOULD HAVE NOTIFIED MY BY FRIDAY OR EVEN SATURDAY DESPITE I USUALLY DO NOT WORK IN THE OFFICE ON SATURDAYS BUT I AM ENTITLED TO MY E-MAIL ADDRESSES AND CAN AS WELL CHECK THEM AND EVEN REPLY AS NO LAW FORBIDS ME FROM DOING SO.

OKAY TILL DATE I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM HIM EITHER.

I WILL ENCLOSE MY LETTER WITH GREAT AND BEST REGARDS TO YOU, YOUR REVEREND AND YOUR LITTLE SISTER.

Lighten up! All I did was go for a few beers in the States! Two Bucks at Happy Hour can you Blame me????

There was a bit more interaction today but in reality Lizzy/Barrister Butthead are self-Baiting at the moment:

Quote:

DEAR MR MALS JOHN,

WITH DUE RESPECT MR MALS, I UNREGRETTABLY WRITE TO YOUR PARTNER MISS LIZZIE OVER YOUR OUTRAGEOUS DECISIONS AND MOVES TOWARD THE TRANSFER THAT YOU MADE WITHOUT UPDATING ME, NEITHER DID YOU DO ACCORDING TO MY LEGAL INSTRUCTIVE GUIDELINE.

LISTEN AND LISTEN REAL GOOD MR MALS JOHN, HERE IN OUR LAW CHAMBER WE DO NOT HARBOR NOR ENTERTAIN ANY RELUCTANCE AND ADAMANCE FROM OUR RESPECTED CLIENT(S) WHOM ASSUMABLY BEING KNOWLEDGEABLE OF OUR LEGAL PROTOCOLS AND JUDICIAL PRINCIPLES.

DEAR MR MALS, YOU HAVE BEEN OFTEN INFORMED AND ADVISED TO SCAN THE PAYMENT SLIP, I MEAN THE MONEY TRANSFER RECEIPT WHICH YOU MADE VIA BANK TO MY DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT, THIS SLIP YOU OUGHT TO HAVE SENT AS AN ATTACHMENT FILE TO ME IMMEDIATELY YOU MADE THE TRANSFER AND DEFINITELY, IT WILL SIGNIFY THAT SUCH PAYMENT HAS BEEN MADE BEYOND REASONABLE DOUBT.

NOTE: I AM NOT TRYING TO BE SKEPTICAL ABOUT THE PAYMENT BUT WE NEED THIS AS COMPLETE PROOF AND IT WOULD ENABLE MY BANK TO TRACK WHEREVER THE MONEY IS COMING FROM AND WHEN IT WOULD ARRIVE AND ALSO BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT IF THERE IS ANY GOVERNMENTAL STOP ORDER DURING AND AFTER THE PAYMENT.
SO, IS EITHER YOU GET THE SLIP BEING ISSUED TO YOU BY YOUR BANK WHERE AND WHEN YOU MADE THE TRANSFER OR YOU GET BACK TO YOUR BANK AND REQUEST FOR IT SURELY THEY WILL GIVE AND OR SEND IT TO YOU EVEN VIA E-MAIL AND YOU CAN THEN FORWARD IT TO ME SIMPLE AS THAT AND I WILL PRINT AS TOTAL EVIDENCE BEFORE MY BANK OVER HERE.

I HOPE ALL THESE EXPLANATIONS ARE WELL COMPREHENDED BY YOU? IF NOT! PLEASE, DO ENDEAVOUR TO UNDERLINE WHERE AND WHAT YOU MAY BE MIS-UNDERSTANDING IN MY LETTER AND I WILL GLADLY EMPHASIZE ON MY POINTS.
AND ABOVE ALL DO NOT ASSUME THAT I AND THIS NOBLE LAWFIRM IS TREATING IN DISRESPECTFULLY MANNER NO, NOT AT ALL AND WE CAN NOT BELITTLE YOUR MINDSET AND YOUR PERSON, IT IS JUST THAT YOU SIMPLY AND ALWAYS MISUNDERSTAND OUR CONCEPTUAL PHILOSOPHY.

THAT IS ALL FOR NOW MR MALS JOHN, I REST MY CASE.
THANKS FOR ACKNOWLEDGING MY PROFESSIONALISM

I'm not exactly sure how I am going to respond to any of this yet as this is just too funny. With my other 'Edgard' Baits I acted kinda weird but this has been a somewhat compliant 'New Me' and the rants keep coming with absolutely no effort.

Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:28 pm

Quote:

Hi dear,
How are things in general with you over there? So how did you go with the lawyer? Have you resolved issues with him and did you confirm from your bank if they actually transact the fund to the lawyer? And if yes, why there's no payment receipt to show for my dear? This is what the reverend father asked of me which I have no answer to, so I leave it for you dear.

Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

John doesn't see any need for alarm:

Quote:

My Lizzie,

I did ask the Lawyer what the problem was as it was my understanding that everything was going according to his instructions. Obviously I assumed that he did not work on Weekends but that should not be a big issue.

He appears to be rather tense but I think he will come around.

How are you and your Sister? I hope her Health is improving as she is such a Pretty Girl.

And to my newest Bestest Friend, Barrister Von Apeshit:

Quote:

Hello sir,

Firstly I take exception at your attitude. I have endeavoured to make this business smooth yet you constantly complain over petty details. Please strive to be more professional in the future.

Okay that seemed to do the trick:

Quote:

DEAR MR MALS JOHN,

WITH DUE RESPECT MR. I HOPE YOU ARE NOT IN ANYWAY INSULTING MY INTEGRITY AS A PERSON HERE? BECAUSE, THAT I WILL NOT KINDLY TAKE FROM YOU OR ANYBODY.

SINCE YOU HAVE REFUTED MY INSTRUCTIONS AND DEMANDS, I PERSONALLY CALLED THE BANK, IN FACT; I AND ONE OF MY COLLEAGUES "THE ACOUNT HOLDER" HIMSELF WALKED STRAIGHT TO THE BANK AND THE CONFIRMED TO US THAT NO SUCH PAYMENT WAS EVER MADE TO THE DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT.
BOTH OF US WERE NOT SURPRISED AS WE HAD THOUGHT THAT YOU MIGHT BE PLAYING SOME UNACCEPTABLE DIRTY GAMES WITH OUR INTELLIGENCE BY GIVING SOME FALLACIOUS REASONS WHY YOU COULD NOT DO THE SIMPLEST FOLLOWINGS AS WAS INSTRUCTED BY THIS LAW-FIRM.

FROM ALL INDICATIONS ISN'T IT RIDICULOUS THAT YOU ARE HAVING A DIFFERENT AND UNTRUE AGENDA TOWARD THE POOR GIRLS WHOM YOU CLAIMED TO BE RENDERING YOUR DISHONEST HELP TO? ISN'T IT OBVIOUS THAT YOU NEVER PAID IN TO THAT GIVEN ACCOUNT? OR DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DEALING WITH UNPROFESSIONAL LIKE YOURSELF? DON'T YOU THINK THAT WITH YOUR INFORMATION AT MY DISPOSAL I CAN FILE AND FORWARD TO THE INTERPOL AND OTHER CANADIAN AND NORTH AMERICAN LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES TO COME FETCH YOU FOR JEOPARDIZING THE REPUTATION OF A WELL NOTABLE ORGANIZATION? AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS YOU MAY END UP IN JAIL. I HATE TO BE INSULTED AT MY JOB THAT I KNOW HOW TO DO BEST.

LISTEN UP MR MALS, YOUR INSULT TO ME IS OF THE HIGHEST ORDER AND I AM VERY UPSET WITH YOU AND WITH THE WHOLE SITUATION REGARDING YOUR CASE AND I MIGHT BE PROVOKED TO ALLOW MY OTHER COLLEAGUES IN THE CHAMBER TO TAKE A LEGAL STEPS AGAINST YOUR IMPERMISSIBLE BEHAVOUR,
PUT A STOP TO THIS CHILDISH ATTITUDE OF YOURS NOW OR OTHERWISE, I MAY BE COMPELLED TO TAKE LEGAL ACTION AGAINST YOU WHEREVER YOU MAY BE. IF YOU CAN NOT GET THE SLIP FOR THE PAYMENT THAT YOU HAD MADE THEN, I WILL DEEM THIS WHOLE EPISODE AS INTENTIONAL ACT FROM YOU.

I REMEMBER GIVING YOU OPTIONS OF MONEYGRAM AND WESTERN UNION BUT YOU REFUTED MY OPTIONS AND DEMANDED FOR A BANK ACCOUNT, THAT, IT WOULD BE EASIER FOR YOU WHICH IS HIGHLY UNTRUE AS LONG AS MONEY TRANSFER IS CONCERNED THOSE FINANCIAL INSTITUTIONS WORK FASTER,EASIER AND EVEN CHEAPER IN CURRENCY EXCHANGE RATE, AFTER SEVERAL ARGUMENTS EVOLVED AT YOUR END AND DUE TO YOUR FRIEND LIZZIE I RECONSIDERED MY DECISION AND GAVE YOU A BANK ACCOUNT AND INSTRUCTED YOU ON HOW TO GO ABOUT IT BUT YOU RATHER DID OTHERWISE WHY? DOES IT APPEAR TO YOU THAT WE ARE IN HERE FOR ANY CHILD'S PLAY OR WHAT?

MIND YOU; HENCEFORTH, I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY DISOBEDIENCE FROM YOU. IS EITHER YOU DO IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY INSTRUCTIONS AS YOUR LAWYER IN CHARGE OR YOU BACK OFF AND PAY ME FOR TIME WASTED SO FAR OR YOU FACE THE LAWSUIT, AND REMEMBER THIS IS INTERCONTINENTAL CASE IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN I DO NOT JOKE AND IT IS NOT A THREAT, BUT A PROMISE.

THAT IS ALL FOR NOW MR MILBURN JOHN, I REST MY CASE.
THANKS FOR ACKNOWLEDGING MY PROFESSIONALISM.

I think things are going rather well! I rest my case!!!!!

Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:02 pm

That has got to be some of the very best LADLAW speak in the history of baiting. The language just gushes in spastic parodies of whatever this lad imagines "professional" language to be.

I can't help but suspect he thinks his lawyer personna would be an effective real-life lawyer, weaving complex arguments that cannot be refuted.

It must truly gall him that his greatness is not giving him the success he is due.

Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 10:31 pm

^Plus he is a real Dick to boot. Even Lizzie agrees:

Quote:

Hi darling,
Honestly, I am so confused about the whole thing as I don't really understand what's going on between you and the lawyer and why such threatening letters from him to you? Did you in anyway offend him or insult him while writing to him? Even the Reverend Father is right with me here now I am typing this letter to you and he promises to call the lawyer and talk to him in the language that he would understand as the Reverend Father added saying that the lawyer is some kind of kind but some times temperamental when provoked. The Reverend Father asks me to ask you what's exactly is the problem between you and the lawyer to warant such interchange words of threats? And again, he asked why haven't you been able to send to me the scanned copy of the receipt of the money which you claimed to have transferred to the lawyer? That he sees no reason why you should been keeping too long in sending the receipt copy. So my dear, why don't you do this as soon as possible to enable the Reverend Father know how to handle this matter. All the same thanks for updating me with the development.

Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

Why is this receipt so important? Oh well might as well console her:

Quote:

My Lizzie,

Thank you so much for your understanding. The Lawyer is definitely upset with me but I think things are still moving in the right direction. As far as a receipt goes, we don't normally need such a thing as the funds are automatically reflected in the receivers account. Its simply how things usually work.

I can if necessary go to my Bank and request a receipt but it should not be required.

Please pass on your best wishes to the Reverend Father and your Sister.

I figured that I wouldn't hear anything else today but was wrong:

Quote:

I am writing to you once again as the somewhat presure is amounting our side by the lawyer. I am right here with reverend father in his office and we called the lawyer and spoke to him on the phone and he said that he has been confirmed to that no money has relected into the given account that you have and that he's certainly sure that you aren't cooperative with him. But few minutes later he returned a call and said that he had wanted to speak with you on the telephone but could not get through to you that it seems that the phone number you provided isn't valid and he text the number that he called which is as the same as the one I have which you sent to me earlier which is(K7 Number) or is there any other line in which you can be reached with? Because, right in my very present the Reverend himself tried severally without success and instead his airtime was wasted by voice service of your line above here. I need you to do your best by getting the receipt from your bank as soon as possible and prove your honesty to this so-called lawyer of ours okay. Once again, my sister health is improving gradually. Please try and get the payment receipt from your bank and also send to me first okay.

Now I'm not sure if its true or not but Lizzie says they tried calling the number. I had unintentionally let the number lapse so I can't be sure. Luckily I was able to sign up for another this afternoon and record a personal verification.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Quote:

prove your honesty to this so-called lawyer of ours okay.

WOW!

Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:39 am

What a Day!

Quote:

Hello,
So tell me how are you doing this day? Hopefully you had a wonderful night? I will do just that but is that the reverend isn't around now and I will forward the same line to the lawyer via email. But you can stil call him either I hope you have his direct phone number don't you?
Again, have you sorted out the problem with him, I mean have you gotten the payment receipt from your bank yet?
Yours Truly,
Lizzie.

Mals decides to skirt most of the issues:

Quote:

Hi My Lizzie,

I did have a good evening although I am still quite offended about this Lawyer's attitude towards me. I've simply been trying to help you yet he threatens me with arrest and lawsuits. It is very disturbing.

I will endeavour to get to the Bank today and straighten this mess out my Darling. There shouldn't be any problems here so I think we will be on the right track very soon.

Please have a wonderful day and give your Pretty Sister a Hug for me,

After my K7 number got pounded repeatedly, Lizzie sent this:

Quote:

Hi dear,
Thank God you even wrote to me as I was about writing and here I am writing to you regarding the telephone numbers which you had provided and I did give it both to the Lawyer and the Reverend Father and unfortunately me and the reverend tried it and it didn't work and it keeps consumming the call credit and again the reverend father called the lawyer to know if he had been successful in get to you by phone and the lawyer gave the same complaint that all he could get while trying your both lines(K7) was answering machine. Honestly I am a bit confused here and can you quickly call the lawyer and or the reverend father through their respective lines here below?
Lawyer's Telephone Number: +221 etc.
Reverend Father's Phone No:+221 etc.
The reverend father is very anxious to speak with you urgently so you do the calling okay. Because I myself is very worried about this whole drama, yes I call it drama because it is.

Yours Truly,
Lizzie

So the Reverend Father needs to speak to me huh? What to do? Since I had some time, I called the 'so-called lawyer' and recorded a very crappy call that isn't worth posting.

Oh well!

Quote:

Hello Sir,

I attempted to call you a while back and I only heard the voice of a Young Woman or Child saying Hello. There was also lots of noise in the background making it difficult to hear what this person was saying.This does not seem to be overly professional in my opinion.

Enough about that. I do not appreciate your threats in any way whatsoever and want you to stop them immediately. There is absolutely no need for your behaviour Sir. We are both working towards a common goal yet you are spewing very complicated Legalese in my direction; something you know I do not fully understand. Please may we make amends and continue our Business anew?

If this is acceptable, I will strive to visit my Bank on Friday so that I can get you a copy of the Transfer slip.

That oughta smooth out any wrinkles:

Quote:

DEAR MR MILBURN JOHN,

I HEREBY WRITE TO YOU IN RECEIPT OF YOUR LETTER TO ME AND IN CONJUNCTION WITH THAT OF YOUR PARTNER (MISS LIZZIE AND THE REVEREND FATHER) INTERCOM CONVERSATION WHICH I HAD WITH THEM BOTH RESPECTIVELY.

DEAR MR MALS, I HOPE YOU ARE NOT IN ANYWAY INSINUATING THAT I AM BEING UNPROFESSIONAL IN MY JOB? COME TO THINK OF IT, IF YOU ARE NOT INTENDING TO INSULT AND ABUSE MY INTEGRITY AS A PERSON HERE, WOULD YOU NOT HAVE ACTED IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY INSTRUCTIVE GUIDELINE? WHY ACTING ON THE CONTRARY, SINCE YOU KNOW WHAT PROFESSIONALISM IS ALL ABOUT?

LISTEN AND LISTEN REAL GOOD MR MALS, I HAVE NEVER JOKED EVEN ONE BIT WHEN I SAID ALL THE THINGS THAT I DID SAY TO YOU PREVIOUSLY; I MEANT ALL THAT I HAD PUTTING IN WRITING TO YOU PRIOR TO THIS, AND NOBODY THROWS THE REPUTATION OF THIS NOBLE LAW-FIRM IN JEOPARDY AND GETS AWAY FREELY WITH IT, HAVE THAT AT THE BACK OF YOUR MIND HENCEFORTH.

IF YOU MUST KNOW, WE ARE GROUP OF LEGAL PROFESSIONALS AND WE DO NOT TAKE OUR CLIENT(S) FOR GRANTED NEITHER DO ARE WE TAKEN FOR GRANTED BY OUR CLIENT(S), WE DO RESPECT THE OPINIONS OF OUR CLIENT(S) PROVIDED IT DOES NOT GO AGAINST OUR POLICY AND WE HOLD IN HIGH ESTEEM OF THE CLIENT WHO ABIDE BY THE PROTOCOLS AND INSTRUCTIONS OF OUR NOBLE LAWFIRM.

BY THE WAY, WHY THE PERPETUATION? WHY ARE YOU STILL ON HOLD IN ATTACHING THE "PAYMENT SLIP" WHICH YOUR BANK SHOULD HAVE PROBABLY ISSUED TO YOU AFTER THE TRANSFER?

I WAS GIVEN A NEW TELEPHONE LINE OF YOURS COUPLE WITH THE ONE YOU HAD INDICATED TO ME EARLIER. I PRESUME HERE ARE CORRECT TELEPHONE LINES OF YOURS(K7 AND K7) I AM HERE TO LET YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I DID CALL BOTH LINES RESPECTIVELY AND NO SUCCESS, ALL I COULD GET WAS A MARE AN ANSWERING MACHINE AFTER A BRIEF INITIAL MALE VOICE SOUNDING AS IF THE RECIPIENT IS ON WITH THE CALLER AND THE REST VOICE WERE VOICE-MAIL.

SO DO CALL ME AGAIN, CAUSE, I HAVE NEVER RECEIVED ANY INTERNATIONAL CALLS TODAY ALL THE CALLS THAT I HAVE HAD WERE WITHIN ,SO MAYBE YOU MISTOOK MY LINE FOR SOMEBODY'S ELSE AND DIALLED WRONG NUMBER NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WILL BE GOING TO YOUR BANK COME FRIDAY TOMMROW RIGHT? JUST DO THAT AND GET ME THAT PAYMENT SLIP TO PRESENT IT BEFORE MY BANKER SO THAT, THEY CAN TRACK THE FUND MAYBE IT WAS DIVERTED ELSEWHERE, SO THIS IS MORE REASON WHY I ANXIOUSLY AND FREQUENTLY REQUEST FOR THE SLIP FROM YOU AND ENDEAVOUR TO GIVE ME A TELEPHONE CALL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE THROUGH MY LINE HERE(+221 etc.) OKAY.

And he denies ever receiving a call! Doubleplusungood Mr. Liar, Liar Pants on Fire! He is in for a treat 'TOMMROW'. Remember Mals isn't 'A MARE'!