Clue - The Murder Mystery Game

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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 5:50 am

I've seen that woman before and I have a bad feeling about what would happen if we had the misfortune of crossing paths with her." as she picked up a glass shard with blood on it as if used as a weapon. Mrs. Peacock examined the shard curiously while she turned to Colonel Mustard and stated quite bluntly.....

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 12:40 pm

"This tastes like jam. Raspberry I think. Here Colonel, try some!"

The Colonel backed away slowly. Jam and mustard? This woman was crazy!

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 1:10 pm

'She should be horsewhipped from here to Putney Bridge for making such a suggestion!', he fumed.
Professor Plum, ignorant to the finer points of dining etiquette watched the Colonel's reaction with amusement and then realised that from where he was standing, Mrs Peacock resembled a ...

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 1:11 pm

The Colonel's face twisted in a spasm of agonised memory.
What... raspberry? My God! There's only one man who dared give me the raspberry... He can't be here! Not

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 3:10 pm

'The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London Town', whose terrible deeds were dramatised on the TV show The Two Ronnies in the mid 1970's. 'Damn, if he's here then we had better make sure we lock the...

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 3:38 pm

larder in case he's accompanied by his side kick, The Phantom Flan Flinger.
If he turns up there will be a right old tiswas'.
Mrs Peacock pursed her lips - she never did like that Tarrant fellow, he was far too ...

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 12:57 am

likely to reveal how she had been a cougar back when she was young and carefree. It must never get out...
Meanwhile, Professor Plum was trying to remember what Mrs Peacock resembled, as Colonel Mustard's memories of being given the raspberry had quite disrupted his train of thought. Suddenly he remembered...

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 2:00 am

that she used to get drunk at a certain west country rugby club and, thanks to Tarrant on Tiswas, performed the 'Dying Fly' on the snooker table which gave the team some welcome relief. Professor Plums' reverie was rudely shattered by the telephone ringing and by picking up the phone he heard.......

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 10:25 am

a distant voice down a crackly line "Hello. my name is Sam, I am 'Microsf Repair' and I ring to tell you your computer isn't working properly. Please to follow these simple instrucs and I fix for you"
"But-but-but-but" stammered Plum "I don't have a ...

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 11:01 am

stammer... you computer people are fiends!"
"We can be curing that too," said the voice. "Now to bending down, clutching the ankles, and saying

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 9:08 am

Thank you for your well made and extremely easy to use products, Mr Gates."
Professor Plum stared at the phone in his hand. Did he hear that right? Could that man possibly be ...

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 1:13 am

the same one that used to utter 'The Man From Del Monte He Say's Yes' whilst groping a big pair of Oranges. The Professor slowly regained his calm and composure, turned to the females in the room and said 'Ladies, from now on I strongly advise you to........

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 12:58 pm

...hang on to your melons."

Mrs White gasped, and pulled a cantaloupe close to her considerable chest. Miss Scarlet laughed. "Careful dear, squeeze it too hard and it vill be in more danger from you than they!"
Mrs White threw her a withering glance. "Oh, and I suppose you'll be busy squeezing your watermelons will you?"

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 10:32 am

"Watermelons? Squeezing?" said the Rev Green, going slightly boss-eyed.
"Did I ever tell you about my organ?" he mumbled

"Frequently!" said Mrs White and Mrs Peacock.

Miss Scarlett looked at the Rev Green in what could be described as a predatory expression "I vant to know about zis organ of yours. Can I play on it, perhaps?"

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 10:41 am

"Only once the head choir boy cleaned it thoroughly," said Rev Green. "It's very sensitive."
Miss Scarlett pouted and flounced away in a sulk. As she did, she glimpsed Colonel Mustard opening the gun cabinet and taking out

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 12:01 am

his prized 12 bore Purdey shotgun and loading it he exclaimed 'I have to go up to the main bedroom to deal with that pesky.....

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:34 am

...Party goers that don't seem to know where the bathtub in their own home is! Maybe two shots in the legs should teach them a lesson." said Rev. Green slyly as if he were about to do something.......

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 12:37 pm

The other guests looked on expectantly, then disappointedly, as nothing actually happened.

"Story of my life" sniffed Mrs White.

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 12:39 pm

"If Purdey hadn't taken back her shotgun, there might have been quite a mess," Miss Scarlet pointed out.

Colonel Mustard, peeved at being disarmed by a mere slip of a girl, decided to instead play a hand of

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 2:55 pm

Tarot cards. He dealt Miss Scarlet three cards, but when he turned over the first he was amazed to see not one of the normal figures but a photograph of an oversized....

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:52 pm

pubic hair. He went red. He knew he shouldn't have bought those cards from that shop in Soho!
Miss Scarlett smiled coyly at his obvious embarrassment, "Vhy Kolonel. I do believe you haf just...."

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 10:08 pm

misunderstood zer card."
She sipped a freshly-poured Jack Daniels and continued, "That' suh, is a public hare, and y'all can see it's quite a respectable li'l critter."

Colonel Mustard blushed again, because the shop in Soho had clearly pulled a fast one, and he began to wonder if the special order for the regimental reunion would be delivered as he'd asked. What would the chaps think when they saw

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 10:54 am

their erstwhile leader make such a mistake? Calamity. He would have to polish up the blunderbuss and revisit Soho.

Mrs White interrupted his musings. "I don't wish to disturb anyone, but there's a big dog watching us from the doorway."

Everone turned to the open doorway, where a large dog was indeed watching their every move. It was a Rottweiler, with orange eyebrows arched inquisitively at them. The appearance was made more unusual by the addition of a clown's ruff and pointy hat.

"Is it just me" queried Prof Plum "or is that dog...

Posted: Wed Mar 06, 2013 12:52 pm

trying to read a copy of Jane's Infantry Weapons?"
They looked more closely, and saw that lying in front of the dog were not only copies of Jane's Infantry Weapons and Dick's Directory of Kitchen Knives, but also Fred's Guide to Arson for Fun and Profit, Charlie's Compendium of Everyday Blunt Instruments, and

Posted: Wed Mar 06, 2013 1:10 pm

a curious map, which, if held at a particular angle, facing to the south south west at exactly a quarter of four revealed

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