Lazy lad self baits

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 30 Mar 2012 Posts: 949

A month ago I sent my lad some forms from the bank (the lad's account had been flagged for suspicious activity). She's used multiple excuses for not filling them out, but today's was the best yet.

Quote:

Sir,

Season Greetings to you Mr. <snip>.. As I am writing this mail from my hospital bed, because I have a car accident. Someone cut off my car break after I filled the form you gave me to fill. I am so sorry for not getting back to you as planned. With Joy in my heart I officially write to apologies for not getting back to you earlier since our last communication because my system was infected with a virus and it wiped out all my email index and I have to re-contact the Federal Ministry to get your details and for update on the transfer of your fund.

Someone is trying to delay the process of getting this fund not to be transferred to you but as I have promised you, I will get things done once the doctors confirmed am good to go home. What is the situation between you and your bank? Have they release the fund back to you?

Please do update me and let us conclude this transfer before the new-year.

I am sorry once again for the delay.

Regards,

Miss. <snip>
Data Analyst, CBN

Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 9:26 pm

Pffffhhtttt .. hahahaha. The old dog ate my homework excuse
Rolling Eyes

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

"Someone" cut her brake lines? Pretty serious, and I'm sure little Miss called the police, right?

Actually she sounds paranoid or maybe has a poltergeist?

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 30 Mar 2012 Posts: 949

Sadly, the lazy lad does actually read. Sad

Quote:

Sir,

Thanks for your concern and love. The matter is been investigated and now who ever that tried to take my life will surely pay. I am sorry I couldn’t get the form singed as planed dough I don’t know when I will be leaving the hospital because the doctor said I should take my God that the injury did not affect my spinal cord and the brain after undergoing different scan.

I am the one paying my hospital bill and now I have run out of cash and your help would be highly appreciated. Just don’t how to thank you for your concern but I do know that before the year runs out or by 2nr or 3rd week of January you will surely get your fund which depends on when I will leave this sick bed. Mr. <snip>, whatever assistance you can offer me now I will be grateful because here is Nigeria you will be once taking care of your hospital bill because the provision meant for it have been abused by those in power so the Government will pay you all hospital expenses at the end of the year.

I really do need your help. I am sending this mail to you through the help of my friend as I a not allowed to communicate to anyone both on phone and mail, so my friend is helping me to send the mail after I drafted it for her. What is you bank saying about releasing the funds to you? But they said in your last mail that if the form is not filled and returned back to them that they fund will be released bank to your account and that it will take 30days to do so and that 30days has elapse. (oh yeah, NOW you start paying attention)

Kindly update me on the development. I am not imposing this on you but had it been you listened to me by sending the fund via Western Union Money Transfer (sorry, but that just isn't gonna happen) by we would have conclude this transaction. I told you that the fund will be secured once you send the required US$4000 and that personal secretary and the account officer attached to my office will pick the money and I will go ahead and pay the Federal High Court the required fee for the Normalization/Notarization of your payment file and Banking details. My friend is the one running errands for me on this issue and she just told me that the Office of the Accountant general if complaining badly that if they do not receive any payment in 3-4days time they will revoked your payment file and use the fund to pay other beneficiary and by doing so it will take approximately another 6months to approved fund to you because they will say you are not serious.

Sir, we need to send some fund to them so as to convince them that you are really trying to get the fee paid. Some beneficiary are willing to pay huge amount of money to have their name put in place of other contractors and this where some corrupt officials make their money because once they finally get the beneficiary name included in the payment schedule he/she will be compensated with 10-15% of the contract sum. I don’t want you to go through this means because of it stress and it will cost you more money. I would want to know your opinion on this matter because there is no time.

I want to know how much you can come up with if you cannot raise the part payment of US$400.

Get back to me ASAP.

Regards,

Miss. <snip>
Data Analyst, CBN

*sigh*

I thought I might finally get a completed set of "Red Flag Rules" forms, but it's not to be. I've asked for another bank account, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

edit: Closed lad accounts

#2
Lad was online this morning, so I asked how she was doing

Quote:

me: Lad, are you still in the hospital?
Lad: Yes my friend is here i can use his palmtop to send mail
How are u doing today?
me: Oh that is very good news. I am so sorry about what happened.
Lad: Ok Sir
We have the account details for the transfer...But!!!!!
me: Okay. It will not be until after the Christmas holiday that I will be able to make the transfer.
Lad: Instead of making the transfer i will suggest you withdrew the fund from your account and go to Security Service Federal Credit Union.which is 0.51 mile from your address and make the deposit rather than making the transfer
me: Can you give me the street address? I have to take the bus or a taxi and I'll have to tell the driver where to stop.
Lad: Here is where they have their branches.......Red Crown FCU
[edit credit union branches near my character's phony address]
me: Okay, I will copy and paste those and print them out. But I don't think I have an account at either of those banks.
Lad: No u dont need an account to do such
You just go there make the the deposit with the following details
[edit account details]
me: Can you send me this information in an email? My accountant will need it when he does my taxes at the end of the year.
Lad: Ok
So will it be possible to make the deposit today?
me: Sorry, but I have relatives visiting all day. It would be very rude of me to leave for business. I can make the transfer on Dec. 26 when the banks reopen.
Lad: Ok
Lad: Sir but i would want you to make a normal deposit into the account rather than the usual transfer because it will take time to reflect but normal deposit will tale less than 20-30 munites to reflect
me: I will try that. Just make sure to send me an email with the account details. My eyesight is poor and I will have the bank teller read the information and put in in the computers.
Lad: Ok
Sir
That will be fine
me: Have a Merry Christmas.
Lad: And you too
Lad: Sir did u get d account details
?
I've sent it over to your mail box
me: Yes Rose I see the email now. Thank you.
Lad: OK
So what do u have for me dis Xmas
/
?
me: We are roasting a pig for dinner. I wish you could be here to share it with us.
Lad: Oh! thanks
So you said the deposit will be on the 26th right?
me: Yes I will try and make it on the 26th. However we are expecting a snowstorm tomorrow and it may close some of the roads. If so, I might have to wait an extra day or two.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 30 Mar 2012 Posts: 949

Update:
Gomer chopped the payment to the second account, and let the lad know about it.

Quote:

dis na bi di gomerboyz .wi get chopped ur maga [my character] . thank u fo di $4000, nau wi get big parti wit lots of ganja na rum. una go learn, dere dey no job wi cannot chop .nor mek mistake of ignorin gomerboyz, wi bi everywhere, ok.

Lad wasn't very happy about this.

an unhappy lad wrote:

Subject: Nothing Do You, Enjoy it While it Last

Blaad, nothing do you. Nice one!!! What is meant to be mine will SURELY be mine. If it meant to be mine, you or anybody wouldn’t have stopped it. Remember what goes around comes around; you have succeeded in stopping me from attending an important Burial (that needs my presence) (wtf?). I won’t curse or swear but just have it at the corner of your mind that “What Goes Around Comes Around”…….Your's WILL Surely be Worse than mine and you WILL definitely remember THIS DAY “28:12:2012 <-- lad bolded this part

Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 4:36 pm

an unhappy lad wrote:

“What Goes Around Comes Around”

Of course