Corrupt a wish Genie

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Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 8:37 pm

Granted. Genie cause you to make all objects and people smile. Oh wait, smite. Whatever, wish already granted.

I wish to purchase a 7-Up in Angola.

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 2:20 am

Granted although it is Seventy Five Trillion Dollars a can.

I wish that I didn't drop a Sixty Foot Poplar Tree (RL) on my shed today.

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 2:39 am

Granted..it landed on you instead. Shed is still cool though.

I wish we had more emoticons on Eater.

Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 11:34 pm

Granted. All letters are now emoticons. Now try to post something meaningful.

I wish I had more voices in my head.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. You now have the Vienna Boys' Choir, the Comedian Harmonists, and the voices of Justin Bieber, Britney Spears, the Bee Gees in high gear, Axl Rose and Montserrat Caballe in your head 24/7/265. Enjoy.

I wish my boss had a 10 inch nose.

*** BANNED *** Joined: 26 Jul 2012 Posts: 1123

Granted. Your boss is now Pinocchio. Your raise should come soon once his nose stops growing.

I wish for a wish.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Oh great, now my boss' secretary is running around with a chainsaw, shortening his nose every 5 minutes. I sincerely hope she won't seriously hurt him with that...

Well, granted. You wish for a big luxury yacht, and there it is, right in your living room. Unfortunately your house breaks apart, being split in half, but enjoy the yacht.

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 9:56 pm

I wish Wurzgnubbel had a wish...

Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 1:09 am

Bart Fargo & Wurzgnubbe's unspoken wish has been granted. Enjoy your room, boys. Do you need some lube?

I wish for world peace.

Have fun messing that one up, suckers

Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 1:35 am

Granted. World Pees. Uh I mean peas...Dang too late. Granted I guess!

I wish that I didn't show up a day early for the party I was invited to.

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:13 pm

Granted. You show up a year late. Nobody at the party place know what your talking about, you get promptly arrested for trespassing on private property.

I wish my car ran on magnets

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 7:25 am

Granted, though now they are stuck to the bottom of your car... oh, you meant as a form of fuel. Sorry, too late to peal them off

I wish I had time to real all of the posts I missed over the past month.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted, you are fired from your job and arrested in a small room with only a male roommate (and some lubes) and a PC that can only display eater pages. You now have plenty of time for reading them, providing your cellmate is asleep.

I wish that everybody would spell my name right (and not "Wurzgnubbe" or other horrendous ways).

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 10:31 pm

Granted, your name is spelled R I G H T It's also quite a different pronunciation that your name was before.

I wish to have a long lasting legacy like William Shatner

*** BANNED *** Joined: 26 Jul 2012 Posts: 1123

Granted, your new legal name is Jean-Luc Picard and the modern medicine of your time has improved in almost every way imaginable..... except for finding the cure for male baldness.

I wish for a genie so I could have 3 wishes instead of just one.

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 1:22 am

Granted! Choose from this list of four options.

I wish electricity was cheaper.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. It's not so cheap it just rains down on you and fries you on the spot. No worries about the electricity bill, that's great news!

I wish I had a lot of very good ideas.

*** BANNED *** Joined: 26 Jul 2012 Posts: 1123

Granted. You are now a smart ass.

Quote:

Granted! Choose from this list of four options.

Ok I wish this, that, and the other one with a helping of fries to go please. Laughing

Also I wish like hell this flu would just die and go away. Mad

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

That's not a granted wish, since I have always been a smart ass! Or so my girlfriend says.

Still, your wish is granted. You hereby get this and that and his grandmother with large fries to go. Also you flew right to hell, but did not die (although genie is slightly confused by all these wishes).

I wish to be a pleasant, friendly, non-smartass person.

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 4:55 pm

Granted! You are now a pleasant, friendly, dumb-ass person!

I wish to be as sexy and debonair as James Bond.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Well, at least the last part of the granted wish is no news either (or so my girlfriend says).

Granted, whatever. Genie books a flight on Debonair airlines for you to Mumbai. Unfortunately Debonair went broke in 1999, so you get to wait and eventually rot at the airline terminal. But you are still quite sexy.

I wish for more speed.

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 1:26 am

Granted, but I'm not sure those little baggies the genie left on your desk are what you wanted. Or maybe it was?

I wish the dishes in my sink from the holiday meal would wash and dry themselves so I don't have to do it.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Yes, they were exactly what I needed, thank you. No more coffee needed for today.

Granted, your dishes are now autoclaved, which means they don't have anything on them any more. Since thiy procedure is pretty hot, they eventually melt. And I sure hope you didn't have any plastic dishes.

I wish for two big trunk boxes full of money. Delivered to my doorstep with no advance fees to be payed.

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 1:13 pm

^^^^Granted. But it was false money.
I wish for a well-paid, easy job.

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 1:36 pm

Granted. You now help inseminate cattle, by hand. Simple and high paying.

I wish there was an easier way to move furniture around the apt.