New "Goofy crap your pets wrote" thread.

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Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 7:16 pm

This seems up to scratch:

Quote:

We count on your sincerity to assist our Department to achieve our grate goal it is 100% Itch free and save, all arrangement for the smooth transfer of the Funds has been perfectly put in place, I expect your kind and urgent reply

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

^^^

Make him assure you that this transaction is risky flea too Wink

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:04 pm

^Ha

Just cleaner out some catchers and found a few nuggets:

Quote:

Needy.Love

Quote:

My doctor just informed me that my days are numbered
because of my health demeaning

Quote:

i know you might be scammed because of that name delivery from many people who clam to be what they are not or you might not but i am here to tell you that it is over .you time has come God has remembered you

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:06 pm

Quote:

Can we be friends, Now?
Hello my new friend.
My name is Jamila, I am a woman, can we be friends?

Well she certianly seems friendly enough....

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 12:55 am

Still cleaning up the Spam folder. Is it true that those GMail Guys are going to close my account? Worse than Mall Cops in my opinion.

Either way I do believe that I have been violated:

Quote:

Hello
Please tolerate my presence in your email box because I wish to strongly doing something very important with you.

Well as long it is important I guess it's okay with me.

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

Second Email, this lad is going to be fun Very Happy

Quote:

I want to assure you of 0ne thing though not trying to boast or blow my own trumpet overboard

Quote:

I can beat my chest to say that I am 1oo% sure to make the light shine for you at the end of the very dark tunnel

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 11:23 pm

^I do believe that the Lad is coming on to you. Those made my Day!

Tell him you don't go for any of those Backdoor Shenanigans.
Or
As Carlin once remarked ( paraphrase regarding a dog licking his you know whats) If I could do that I wouldn't leave the house!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 02 Nov 2012 Posts: 7

LOL...YEAH OKAY!!!

Quote:

YOU MUST BE CONSCIOUS OF THIS PROJECT, AS I WILL SOON CONCLUDE THIS TRANSACTION WITH YOU, IN CASE OF ANY E-MAILS OR CALLS YOU RECEIVES REGARDING THIS FROM ANY INDIVIDUALS CLAIMED TO BE ME, OR E-MAILS, CALLS FROM ANY ORGANIZATION TO YOU, SUCH MUST BE FORWARDED AT ONCE TO ME IMMEDIATELY BY E-MAIL.

ALSO, IT MIGHT COME TO YOU WITH DIFFERENT PROPOSALS WITH DIFFERENT NAMES INCLUDING MY NAME ASKING YOU TO COME AND CLAIM YOUR ESTATE OR EVEN FUNDS BELONGING TO YOU OR TO SOMEBODY YOU DO NOT KNOW, I URGE YOU TO IGNORE SUCH E-MAILS OR CALLS!

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

In the process of trying to get a scammers bank account info for Alan to shut down I'll stoop so low as to butter them up.

This one lad is particularly lapping up the praise, I've told him it is such a privilege to work with a professional who does bank transfers as opposed to using WU or MG Laughing

Quote:

I am flattered by your compliments and kind w0rds but I will be more elated by the time I pr0ved my capacity by successfully seeing to the final remittance of the fund int0 your nominated bank account within a sh0rt of limit of time.

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:24 pm

"Money to invest" lad is not happy (censoring mine)

Quote:

You are amotherf**ker!
Do you wish that my valued investorw put her mny on such nonsense?
I guess the panther and hipp f**k your stupid ass
Animal like you

Guess he doesn't want to invest in my barnyard porn production company then Very Happy

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:43 pm

Quote:

We are searching for
representative who can help us establish a medium of getting to our
costumers in the Canada, America, Asia and Europe

Why am I picturing Unitards, Jaunty Hats and Hammer Pants at the moment? Oh never mind...

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

Quote:

Am sorry to inform you that my attorney just called email me this morning that he is no longer interested in doing busy with you .

That comes as quite a relief to me Wink

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 1:26 pm

Maybe not altogether "Goofy" but a decent rant nevertheless:

Quote:

Did i chat on you just as you did to me? or did i take anything from you? Am tried of been deceived and i want to be on myself please. You people are wicked and can kill. let me ask what did you gain from this Mals? Even upon my deing in that prison you never care, you promise to help me out which if not God i will die there. will you have the fucking chance to write me this? go to hell.

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 10:27 pm

Animal proverbs from this Lad:

Quote:

Remember that a tree without branch is not a good choice for the Monkey.

Quote:

Note that the lizards congratulate himself when it falls down from a tree.

Quote:

Remember that the toad doesn't run in the daylight for nothing, it either sometihng is after the toad or the toad is chasing after-something.

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 11:37 pm

^If I am not mistaken, your Lad is Master Po of Kung Fu fame.

If he wants you to snatch a pebble from his hand or even worse, pass him the Barbeque I'd run...

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 10:44 am

More from the master ^^:

Quote:

You re suppose to be a honorable man when people name you as one, not the self proclaimed height insisting.

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:24 pm

This has a certain wing to it...I mean ring:

Quote:

My Name is Miss Danica Ming, the Sales Manager of honeywell fasteners, a wing of MING INC.

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 11:01 pm

I have had bad days before but nothing like this:

Quote:

He is suffering from Nigeria Boko Haram bombs attack,and cancer of the
brain and heart related complications. For the past few hours he have
been in a state of coma and medically he has no chance of survival.

What's next? An Alien abduction complete with Anal probing?

Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 2:21 am

Quote:

This work was Committed by a person claiming to service for you, and that you have I gave him the authority intends to go to fund a new fund.

Someone's been using Google translate to their own detriment.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 21 Nov 2008 Posts: 619

My excessively polite lad, 7 pleases in one sentence. I am absolutely insisting my lad find a replacement lawyer.

Quote:

Please and please, forgive what the lawyer said to you please, let face our matter to make sure this transaction is complete please just because of me please i know what i am saying please as soon as you get the money send it to him please and leave the rest ok.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

My new wife says

Quote:

You have already stole my heart please break it apart

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

Why do I always get the nutters, it is the same when I get on the bus Laughing

Quote:

i have to speck with you on to have m0re trust and know the zeal of my patina towards this transaction

Quote:

i will be the one to pick you at the airport from there i will pers0nal guild you on how you will move to my head office

Quote:

Please try t0 can me before i can send you the document

Quote:

i can not call you again till i hear y0ur voice

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

Quote:

Our General manager just passed away 5days ago(((Died)))

Just in case you didn't get it, he is DEAD

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 4:54 pm

Quote:

I want you to know that the ATM Card and your released ownership document and user guild hand manual will be posted to your delivery address via a special delivery agent courier.

The guy keeps mentioning the "guild manual" in every email. I wonder what guild I'm in? I hope it's one where I get to learn magic. Smile

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 4:10 am

Just a small part of a rambling refugee camp orphan script:

Quote:

I sourced your email contact through the Internet in search of trusted person who can be trusted and assist us.

But this showed up in the second iteration of the same script. The first one was written in Turkish! Apparently you can scour the web and find out that I'm fluent in Turkish. Rolling Eyes

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