Let's Try Regional Colloquialisms for $500

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Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Pastor Frank wrote:

"Colder than a well diggers ass" I never understood the origins of that one either.

I know this one very well. I used to be a well digger and it can get damned cold out there.
Dumb as a farking stump.
Ugly as the day is long.
Someone beat that boy with an idiot stick.
You could fark up a wet dream.
He's a poster child for birth control.
He's a load that should have been swallowed.
Prostituting the K9.
Go piss up a rope.
You're pissing in the wind.
If that was a dick you would have been farked. (It's right in front of you)

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 2:05 pm

Appearances:
"Face like a welder's bench"
"Looks like someone set her on fire and put her out with a shovel"

Temper:
A foul mood is said to be "the pig", as in "ignore him, he's got the pig 'cos Chelsea lost again"

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

She has a face built for radio.
She could make a freight train take a dirt road.

Temper
A severe case of red ass.
I'm about to come untorqued/unc**ted on your ass.
I'll put knots on your head faster than you can rub them.
I'll beat you severely about the head and face.

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 2:44 pm

"That boy is so horny that he would stick his d**k in a woodpile in hopes there is a snake in it."

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

^^^On that same line

That boy would fark a snake if you would hold its head for a second while he gets it in.
I wouldn't touch that with your dick.

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 3:43 pm

She's so bow-legged I'll bet she has to get out of bed just to roll over.

Actually I asked one of my Lads "Why the big bug?" and received a rant about why I was being so rude to him. I have one that needed an insult third person today. I forwarded the E-mails and sent this:

Quote:

Dear Ms. Ashley,
I'm forwarding the E-mails below from Mr. Rolland at the bank. I do
not believe I can finish this transaction. If you read the E-mails you
might believe as I am that Mr Rolland has been free-basing Little
Friskies (Or something) and is no longer playing with a full deck. He
is insisting on a Western Union payment of over $13,000.00!!! This is
after two successful bank to bank transfers. I would be locked up in
the loonie bin if I walked into a Western Union store and tried to
send that much money at one time. Probably get robbed on the way out
of the store too. Anyway, I feel you need to get a different banker to
handle this transaction by bank transfer or I'm very sorry but I shall
recall my previous two transfers and be done with this mess.
Regards,,

We'll see if I get something colorful back. I would like a few more piggy's out of this one though as two of the ones I've received were Wells-Fargo accounts.

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 3:44 pm

Wicked Pissah!! (Still not sure exactly what it means)

Jesus jumped up Christ!!

That's all the way in East Bumfuck!! (describing a place in the middle of nowhere)

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:31 pm

"Bugger me with a fish fork"

(Courtesy of Blackadder)

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

Bart Fargo wrote:

That's all the way in East Bumfuck!! (describing a place in the middle of nowhere)

AKA: Moosecrotch, Minnesota.

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 7:37 pm

We use "BFE" (Bum Fu#@ Eygpt)

Here are some more:

(one of my favorites) Hotter than a whore house on dollar day.

As useless as tits on a boar.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

Like herding cats (to describe trying to get kids or other disorganized to go somewhere)

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 7:45 pm

IM_Dumm wrote:

Quote:

He’s so dumb he could fall in a barrel of tits and come out sucking his thumb.

I like that one... Laughing

The problem is finding a way to work it into a conversation.

Just change the tense and address it to the person your talking to...Your so dumb.........

Twisted Evil

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 21 Nov 2008 Posts: 619

The 'witch's tit' line already mentioned is shortened from when I used to hear it..
"colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra"

Also another one (for the guys)
"This water is so cold I have 3 adam's apples!"

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:07 pm

A couple odd sayings from work:

**Leave it lie where Jesus Flang it!
**Ever since Christ was a Cowboy!

Anyone who actually knows the source of these are long gone but I do hear them most weeks.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

oscarpiles wrote:

**Ever since Christ was a Cowboy!

I've always heard it as "Ever since Christ was a Corporal".

next victim in another thread wrote:

I'm no gynecologist but I may need to take a look.

(Congrats next victim, it takes a ton to get me to use an emoticon, if I were a mod "no gynecologist" would be your custom tag).

Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 1:22 am

"Sweating like a whore in church"

Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 1:29 pm

As useless as tits on a bull

A few kangaroos loose in the top paddock

As happy as a bastard on Father's Day

He couldn't find his arse with both hands and a map.

Beyond the Black Stump [for things a long way away]

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Roach killers (pointy toed boots for kicking roaches in the corners)
Where's my bear hunting switch?
Jesus clip (those little clips that you have to get on right or they jump off and disappear leaving you yelling "Jesus" said often during a carb rebuild if you're not careful)
He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if you locked him in it.

Thanks for the emoticon PF! I think that makes 2 from you in my time here. That would make a great tag. I'll start a PF for mod campaign in your honor!

Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 11:22 pm

"One of Everything,...Two of Everything else." (Big Al)

Ashley Didn't get colorful, just explanative....

Quote:

I received your mail and many thanks for your assistance...i do appreciate your effort.

I contacted the transfer bank(NATWEST BANK) immediately on the content of your mail and i was made to understand that it was an instruction given by the federal inland revenue commission that the charges should be paid through western union.

I was able to explain and make the transfer bank(NATWEST BANK) understand that over $13,000.00 is too big to be sent through western union at one time, and they stated that the charges can be paid installmentally through western union since the amount is too big to be sent through western union at one time as that was the means of payment instructed by the federal inland revenue commission....The transfer bank(NATWEST BANK) also stated that,they had misappropriated funds with your bank to bank payment,that was why they insisted on western union to avoid misappropriation of funds on the charges payment.

In regards to that,i asked them on how the charges can be paid installmentally and they said it can be paid installmentally through western union with three(3) or four(4) times payment by having it paid as $3500 USD the first days, $3500 USD the second day, $3500 USD the third day,and $3272 USD the forth day.

Please i do understand how you feel about this but you should know that we have really gone a long way and am pleading that you should act as they have directed so that my funds can be transferred to you...I know its not that easy for you but do it for me for the sake Almighty God.

Am really hoping on your positive action.

Hope this meets you well....Once again thanks for your assistance

Waiting to hear from you soonest.

Regard,
Ashley.

For the sake of almighty God, I think I might have a reply......

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 4:41 am

If he had a brain he would take it out a play with it.

Two BBs on a breadboard [small busted woman].

As welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.

Less hair to comb, more face to wash [bald man]

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 8:03 am

If he/she had two brain cells they'd be f'ing dangerous.

The lights are on but no one's home.

Somewhere there's a village missing its idiot.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

Away tae Freuchie!

Oh Falkirk ( if you stub your toe really badly add Grahamston )

She hud a face like a bulldog chewin' a wasp

he walks like he's got a tennis ball under each oxter (armpit)

a very local expression- sounds like a coo farting over a dyke- translation for my husbands disapproval of any music since Jimi Hendrix
(dyke as in stone wall btw)

She's as reliable as a Princes Street tram

Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:12 pm

/\/\ Jockanese can be pretty undecypherable at the best of times.

L:ike the eskimos have (or haven't) 50 words for snow, the Scots have a lot of words for 'drunk'

141 words for 'drunk'

Moderator Joined: 10 Jan 2007 Posts: 14513

I grew up in Northeastern PA, and there is an interesting set of colloquialism known as "coal speak" A few examples

corpse house - a funeral home
hose house - a firehouse
Halloweening - kids going door to door for trick or treat
ainna --- "you know"
mango -- a pepper

Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 6:00 pm

Railway speak :
Drop the handle - to apply the emergency brake
up line - the track leading towards London
Snip turn - short turn of duty
getting the nod - Foreman has given permission to go home
The Crucible - the lines approaching Birmingham New Street, named after the snooker venue, drivers always had to get a red signal before they saw a colour (yellow or green signal)
Incest Island - The Isle Of Sheppey
Lobby cat - driver who seems to always be in the mess room
Bobby - Signaller

Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 6:30 pm

@Lakeside

I heard the BB one as:

"Two raisins on a bread board"

@Next Victim - Roach killers a/k/a as Cowboy boots.

My grammy always said:

"Put it in a poke"
"Bring me a poke"
"Like a pig in a poke"

"Poke" apparently back in the late 1800's mean a sack or a bag to put things in.

IM_Dumm wrote:

We use "BFE" (Bum Fu#@ Eygpt)

One of the local garbage companies is BFI. We use India instead of Egypt.

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