At what stage

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Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 9:56 pm

do you say, "I've read/seen it all now"

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10835890

A man sought emergency treatment at hospital in Auckland this week with an eel stuck up his bottom.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Mar 2009 Posts: 582

While I realize the seasons in Oceania are the opposite of North America, I was unaware that there was an opposite version of Noodling there.

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 7:12 am

Only an eel? What a lightweight.

Real men use whole salmon.

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 7:17 am

So now I know why my hovercraft is suddenly empty!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

I had a friend who worked in A & E who said you wouldn't believe some of the things that get stuck up bottoms
The explanation usually starts "I tripped and fell..."

Sooooo
is nude fishing for eels common in NZ?
Anything you wish to tell us, Irish?

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 1:02 pm

That ranks up there with the following:

http://www.snopes.com/risque/penile/pool.asp

http://www.singsupplies.com/showthread.php?3076-Malaysian-man-gets-nut-stuck-around-penis

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2442706/posts

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 4:44 pm

Nanny Ogg wrote:

I had a friend who worked in A & E who said you wouldn't believe some of the things that get stuck up bottoms
The explanation usually starts "I tripped and fell..."

One brother is a nurse, another spent a couple of years as an EMT. Both could rattle off lists of things their emergency rooms would find in rectums: candles, cucumbers, bottles, tennis balls, etc. Nurse brother told me of a patient who came in with a jar of mustard in the wrong place. While trying to extract it the lid came off and two ER folks had mustard all over them by the time the jar came out.

An eel? I don't want to know that story behind that.

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 5:23 pm

Quote:

In response to a direct query from the Herald on Sunday, we can confirm that an adult male presented at Auckland City Hospital this week with an eel inside him," Matt Rogers, spokesman for Auckland District Health Board, said. "Both the man and the eel are currently resting uncomfortably."

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 5:24 pm

on Seinfeld, Kramer wrote:

"Have you ever met a proctologist? They usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never. It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way... 'It was a million to one shot, doc, million to one.' "

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 5:39 pm

Todays top tip:

Never insert the eel bitey end first.

@ TheDane My hovercraft is full of eels in many languages
Sadly no Igbo version, (there is Yoruba) we need to ask / confuse a lad.

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 6:22 pm

^ Bookmarked! Laughing

Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 9:21 am

Tubeway Army - Are Friends Electric Laughing

Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 10:42 am

I read about an old guy who presented with an anti-aircraft round stuck up his back end. He had apparently been using it to push his piles back up when he lost his grip on it and had to go to A&E to have it retrieved. The round had been in his posession since ww2 and was still live, so it was disposed of safely after being recovered.

I am certain that whatever the outcome of the extraction it would have hurt less than getting an already tender bum filled with English mustard, and I wonder a little if the removal of the lid was entirely accidental, or whether the A&E staff just wanted to dissuade the patient from further similar "adventures".

Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 6:18 pm

^You never know, it may have turned him on to figging. Laughing

Not quite bum related, but in that area - an ex-colleague used to work as a nurse, and told me she'd once had to deal with a rather reticent and embarrased elderly couple. Seems they'd been feeling randy, but he was unable to get and maintain an erection (this was long before viagra/cialis). Wifey had taken a biro pen apart and inserted the middle bit up his urethra. Shocked

Needless to say he was in a lot of pain, and no longer feeling passionate.

Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 7:18 pm

Part of me wants to lock this before it turns into 'whats the grossest sexual story you ever heard'. Sad

But another part wants to tell you about someone I worked with in motor racing, Ken.
After his ability to, er, get wood was destroyed by a necessary medical treatment, he was given some sort of mechanical stiffener, doing the same job as the biro inner, put painless and permanent. After a boozy night out with Mrs Ken, he would fall asleep, then later wake up to find Mrs Ken bouncing around on him without his knowledge or help!

Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 11:50 pm

What ever happened to the idea of a man and wife having a romantic dinner, coming home and making love by the fireplace.

Provided the kids are elsewhere.. Wink

Posted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 12:37 am

^^^Reading this thread makes me wonder what ever happened to leather and chains!!

Posted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 12:39 am

Just saying

Posted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 8:19 am

This can only get weirder / grosser and has probably run its course.