Just how 'effing obvious do I have to make it??

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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 9:57 am

For quite a long time (since April 2011, though with a lengthy gap in the middle), I've been baiting Reverend Nachat Abdergarder, who isn't exactly the brightest guyman in the cybercafe. After many mishaps in his attempts to scam money from Lord Olivus Arknsas, member of the United States Royal Family, Olivius got into a car crash and went into a coma.

For the last few months, the Reverend has instead been trying to scam Olivius' ditzy teenage daughter Katie. Unfortunately, due to the way his finances are set-up, Katie is not allowed to access the money while Olivius is still alive, and so he had hired a lawyer to help her gain legal access to the money. The lawyer then became suspicious of the Reverend, who convinced Katie to fire him.

So Katie finds a new lawyer. She then passes on the lawyers contact details - the name and email address are both the same as the man who dolla chopped him and then sent him many taunting emails about it.

The reverend doesn't notice.

So I then send this, from the dolla chopper, Gordon Gecko.

Gordon Gecko wrote:

Subject: Don't remember me?

Well, hello again my sweet little mugu. It is I, Gordon Gecko, master thief of the money you were intending to steal from that stupid fool Lord Olvius Arkasas. Oh, yes, and I have now tricked sweet little Katie into thinking I am a lawyer. Such a pretty little girl, so trusting and naive, so supple and petite...

I'm not happy you never replied to my earlier emails. I could have made you a very rich man, but instead you rot away in your pathetic existence, trying to scam a fifteen year old girl out of her dying father's money.

But not to worry! For I, Gordon Gecko, have come to your rescue. If we were to work together, we can bleed Katie dry, and get not just the pitiful little fee you are attempted to steal off of her, but the entirety of her father's fortune. If you work with me, you will get half of our takings, which by my calculations is just over $18 million dollars. Otherwise, I guess I'll just have to take it all for myself, and leave you without a dime...

So how about it?

So, does it ring any alarm bells?

Reverend Nachat Abdeergarder, to Katie wrote:

Dear In The Lord,

How are you today and your dad include your new lawyer? I hope all is well, i have receive your email and all you said are OK, Thanks,
my prayer is that as your processing everything today, God will quids you in all your doing, And i believe by next week everything will be OK,

Finally, i attach my personal picture to you before i fall into silk, This picture has been sent to your dad before as my friend, You can also show it to the lawyer, please keep this project to your self as a woman, don't ever let any one to know that you are expecting GOOD thing so that they will not raise eye brown on you OK,

i wait to hear the out coming of your journey with the lawyer,

Thanks And God Bless you for been a God daughter to your DAD,

A little bit later he apparently rereads the letter from Gordon Gecko and the gears shift into place.

Reverend Abdeergader, to Katie wrote:

My Dear Daughter, i just have double though after my few minute PRAYER , and my mind told me that Mr Gordon Gecko is not for real as a lawyer to help you out, i believe he is a joker or something else, please if after today and nothing goods come out from him, i advice you to stop further contact with him so that he will not rub you or try to deceive you, I DON'T LIKE HIM, IS NOT SINCERE HUMAN OK, PLEASE DON'T TELL HIM WHAT I HAVE WITH YOU AND YOUR DAD OK, I BELIEVE HE IS A SCAM ER TO WORK WITH.

I WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Katie, who was due to meet with Gordon Gecko in the morning, never responded. A day later, he got this.

Gordon Gecko wrote:

Subject: I have Katie

Should have agreed to my offer when you had the chance. Now you won't get a cent.

Goodbye

Two days after that, he sent Katie this.

Jacob wrote:

DEAR IN THE LORD

HOW ARE YOU TODAY AND YOUR FATHER CONDITION, ONCE AGAIN, ARE YOU OK? PLEASE I AM STILL WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU REGARDS THE NEW DEVELOPMENT,

No response. He finally works out that Gordon Gecko might be involved.

Reverend Abdergarrder, to Katie wrote:

Dear In The Lord,

How are you today and your education include your dad situation? I hope by now everything is getting better, We give God the glory, However, i thought by now, you would have email me to know the situation, yet i couldn't hear from you? you should bear in mind that i started this project very well with your dad before he finally involve in accident so you should not listen to any body that is trying to deceive you on behalf of your father OK, THIS A WORD OF ADVICE TO YOU, SO THAT YOU WILL NOT FALL INTO SCAMMERS HAND,

FINALLY, I have got two email from this man, who claim to be a lawyer, Gordon Gecko and i don't know the meaning of the two email, i have decided to forward the two email to you, so that you have to know what is going on, please stop working with this man for he has nothing to offer you than to deceive you, {YOUR DAD CAN GET ME RIGHT IF HE RECOVERS} BECAUSE A GOOD LAWYER DOES NOT SPEAK IN THIS MANNER,

I AM VERY ANGRY WITH WHAT IS GOING ON NOW, I WANT YOU TO EMAIL ME BACK AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS EMAIL,I HAVE TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANY OTHER PERSON WHAT I AM PASSING THROUGH WITH YOUR DAD BEFORE HE INVOLVE IN ACCIDENT, PLEASE DO NOT RELATE MY ISSUE TO ALL THIS CRIMINAL BECAUSE THERE DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO OFFER YOU OK,

I AM SERIOUSLY WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU,

YOURS SINCERELY,

(email from Gordon Gecko forwarded)

Reverend Abdeergarder, to Katie wrote:

Dear In The Lord,

ONCE AGAIN, PLEASE WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS FROM THE PERSON WHOM CLIAM TO BE A LAWYER Gordon Gecko?

PLEASE I AM SERIOUSLY WAITING,

YOURS SINCERELY,

(the "I have Katie" email forwarded)

Unsurprisingly, Katie didn't respond. I realized I had to be a little less subtle

Gordon Gecko wrote:

Subject: Read this very carefully

You're not very smart, are you?

I read the emails you sent to sweet little Katie the other day. I don't think you understand this situation. Katie is in my clutches now. I am in control. I have attached a photograph I took of Katie this morning to help you understand what is happening now.

Pay attention. I know who you are. I know what you are. I know you are not a reverend from England - that is very obvious. I know you are in fact a guyman from Africa. We could work together. I'm in need of a contact in West Africa, and you are in need of money. Prove you can be of use to me, and perhaps just a little bit of Katie's fortune might be yours.

Awaiting your response.

Gordon Gecko

(the person photo shopped into that image is actress Sarah Hyland, who I've used as images for Katie before.)

So was that obvious enough for the Reverend. Well...

Reverend Abdergarder, to Katie wrote:

DEAR IN THE LORD,

HOW ARE YOU TODAY, PLEASE ASK MR gordon gecko, TO STOP EMAILING ME BECAUSE HE IS NOT A LAWYER, I CAN NEVER FOR ONE DAY RESPOND TO HIS EMAIL, BECAUSE THE ALMIGHTY GOD TOLD ME THAT HE IS NOT WHAT HE SAY HE IS, I THOUGHT BY NOW YOU WOULD HAVE EMAIL ME TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY PICTURE AND MY EMAIL, YET I COULDN'T HEAR FROM YOU,HOWEVER AS A MAN OF GOD, I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL DEALING WITH PEOPLE FROM AFRICA BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO OFFER YOU, YOU CAN JUST BE WASTING YOUR TIME, MONEY AND AT THE END, YOU FIND YOUR SELF HOMELESS OK,

FINALLY, I DEVOTED MY TIME TO WORK WITH YOU AS MY FRIEND DAUGHTER AND YOUR APPROACH TOWARDS THIS PROJECT, BUT IS LIKE YOU WANT TO FALL APART TO SCAMMER, I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL MY GOOD FRIEND YOUR DAD RECOVER FROM COMMA, STOP SENDING MY EMAIL TO SCAMMER OR LISTING TO THERE WORDS, MR gordon gecko, CANNOT STOP YOU TO EMAIL ME BECAUSE HE CANNOT DELIVER ANYTHING GOOD TO YOU, *MARK MY WORD AS A MAN OF GOD*

I WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU BEFORE I GIVE YOU MY FINAL WORDS,

YOURS SINCERELY,

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:20 am

This one is about as sharp as a bowling ball. Can you mail him a fake finger?

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 11:23 am

I can see Gordon and Katie having a bright future together they should work towards getting engaged, Katie can shower Gordon with flash presents and Gordon can send pics tormenting the feck out of the Rev.

eta: dam pc hadn't loaded Katies pic quick enough maybe she likes the rough type lol

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 8:31 pm

Quote:

I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL MY GOOD FRIEND YOUR DAD RECOVER FROM COMMA

Tell him he has lapsed from his comma into a semi-colon...

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 10:24 am

Just when I'd thought he had dropped me:

Gordon Gecko, 5 days ago, wrote:

This is Gordon Gecko, writing from Katie's account.

Are you retarded?

How do you not understand what is going on?

I want you to read the previous email I sent you. The latest email you received from Gordon Gecko. I want you to read it very carefully. I want you to download the attached picture and look at it very closely. I want you to think about all of that, and come to a conclusion of what has happened to Katie.

Think about it. Use your tiny little pea-sized mugu brain.

Now, why do you think Katie hasn't been able to respond to you. What does that mean for your hopes of getting money.

You only have one hope.

Me.

I'm the only friend you've got now.

Understand?

The Reverend, today, wrote:

Subject: YOUR FROM A LOONY HOME DECIPLE

GOD WILL GORGE YOU, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW A CRIMINAL LIKE YOU, REMEMBER THE PUNISHMENT THAT GOD WILL GIVE TO THOSE THAT STEAL

REV

Oh no!

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Feb 2012 Posts: 438

I think it's funny that they still refuse to come clean and even invoke god to affirm their good nature and altruistic intentions.

I'm not sure, but I would think the lad may not fully trust your story and he may more likely believe that he is being tested to see if he is in fact a scammer.

Just my thoughts, very creative though, and best of luck!

Posted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:01 pm

Yeah, I'm getting that impression too. He did reply back last night though with this hilarious plea.

Gordon Gecko, a few days ago, wrote:

Do you want any money or not? If you don't, I'm perfectly happy to keep all of little Katie's fortune for myself. Up to you.

Regards,
Gordon Gecko

The Rev wrote:

PLEASE FOR GOD SAKE,STOP CONTACTING ME FOR ANY THING ,I DONT KNOW YOU, I BELIEVE YOU ARE A DEVIL INCANATE

REV

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