Corrupt a wish Genie

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Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 12:48 am

Granted. You are a great virtuoso in using the toilet. You even write an instruction manual on the subject. people flock to you in droves about your toilet skills. Until you wake up. But you still retain the skills.

I wish we could grow back missing limbs.

Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:13 am

Granted... well, in a way. Originally we could grow back missing limbs and other parts, but people became so lazy they started eating their own bodies because they would grow back that the grow back feature was disabled after 250 segments of time.

I wish I had a dozen gold medals and my name were famous.

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:37 am

Granted Sweetnoid, but your name is famous and gold only at this facilty. Very Happy

I wish for a banana everyday. Laughing

Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 6:54 pm

Denied! Why ask for a banana when you can have the real thing!

I wish I was a banana-replacement.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Granted. You are now a potassium-based yogurt.

Enjoy!

I wish that my leaf-racist neighbor would move out of her house quicker.

Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:08 am

Granted. She moves out 5 minutes quicker than you anticipated. Still seems like forever though.

I wish I had a time extraction device and knew how to use it properly.

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 4:41 am

Granted... well, the Genie wishes you knew how to use your device better. It has been two days since the Genie posted. Please read the directions. There are pictures, I promise.

I wish the areas of the world which need rain receive a gentle rain to calm the dust and water the crops.

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 11:52 pm

Granted. They get a gentle rain of cow urine. Sure the crops love it, but everything now smells disgusting. Ask for plain water next time.

I wish for a cheese airplane

Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 12:17 am

Granted.

Although the plane will yodel incessantly.

I Wish for a place where mosquitoes have no wings.

Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 12:57 am

Granted. Your new place is Parris Island, Sc Usa. They are referred to there as "Sand Fleas".

Just as evil as mosquitoes, but they can only get to you when you touch the earth.

I wish I could find an original Monet water scene that no one else knew about.

Edit: For poor spelling.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted, but then your 80 years old lover decides to "restore" it with red and brown ink.

I wish I had a lot of good ideas. Now.

Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 4:06 pm

Granted. However they are great ideas that already have been used. The best you can come up with is a beer bottle made of cardboard.

I wish my keyboard didn't suck!!

*** BANNED *** Joined: 26 Jul 2012 Posts: 1123

Granted. Sometime in the distant future you are going to see something funny on the internet and spill your drink all over cursed keyboard from hell. You may also be involved in a drink spitting incident at the same time. You will then need to clean your screen, walk out the door, and buy a new keyboard.

I wish for world peace. Laughing

Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 4:35 am

granted. World peace is achieved for exactly 5 seconds as everyone gathers to watch the space ships land. Unfortunately 2 seconds later the Daleks descend crying "Exterminate".
I wish for a large porterhouse steak.

Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 2:25 am

Granted, sort of. Genie hears the term pornhouse shake, so Genie rattles around a film studio where they make naughty films. Hopefully this satisfies your need.

I wish the 2012 season for the Red Sox did not exist.

*** BANNED *** Joined: 26 Jul 2012 Posts: 1123

Nearly granted. The Red Sox and the Yankees make it to the world series and things look on the up and up for the Yankees as usual until the last inning when the Red Sox completely stamp out the Yankees. The victory is so overwhelming for the Yankees that they never again have the spirit to even try for the world series and fall off the face of the map as a baseball team. You did say Yankess right?

I wish I had an espresso machine right about now.

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2012 5:49 am

Granted, you are now in an Expresso machine. Ooopsie, I read it wrong. I believe steam is good for your skin, whats left of it.

I wish I could read faster.

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2012 10:46 pm

Granted, you can read 200 pages per minute, however your level of understanding is at the level of a sea slug.

I wish for eternal drunkeness

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2012 10:46 pm

Granted, you can read 200 pages per minute, however your level of understanding is at the level of a sea slug.

I wish for eternal drunkeness

*** BANNED *** Joined: 26 Jul 2012 Posts: 1123

Granted. You will now have double vision for the rest of your life. You did not post the same thing twice in the genie thread. It is just your rabid imagination.

I wish for a memory eraser.

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:39 am

Granted you computer has no memory or any other files. Hope you had a back up somewhere.
I wish I could see the future.

Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 11:44 pm

Granted, you now live in Calais, Maine, EST and you look across the St. Croix River over at St. Stephen, New Brunswick, Atlantic Standard Time, one hour later than EST. The future looks quite boring eh?

I wish I could find my missing socks.

Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 1:01 am

I can't find them cause I had to spend time bumping this thread.

I wish people here would friggin wake up.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. They are friggin waking up quite energetically, so now everybody who has just friggin woken up is now jumping, dancing and screaming around your house. Enjoy.

I wish to be Bill Gates.

*** BANNED *** Joined: 26 Jul 2012 Posts: 1123

Denied. You are now Linus Benedict Torvalds. Open source is your bread and butter and your computing powers are next to none.... but hardly anyone understand what the hell you are talking about.

I wish for the power to smite objects of my choosing.