"what do u mean by guns"

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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 2:53 pm

Cammy was channelling Morgain in this chat with a rather dense Lad.

There is, of course, profanity.

Lad: i am mr barrister elex form benin Republic I am writing to confirm the fact if you are (DEAD) or (ALIVE)
Lad: call me wel you come onilling today ok this is the unmb you we use to call me ok, +229…
Cammy: Who the fuck told you that I'm dead?
Lad: hello
Cammy: At last!
Lad: are you there
Cammy: Well, duh! Can't you read!
Lad: Yes their
Lad: am now in position
Lad: hello
Lad: are u still there
Cammy: Of course I am. Now explain yourself.
Lad: Cool
Lad: My name is Barrister 4lex Goodlick
Cammy: I'm C4mille White. My boyfriend Nic0lae Carpathia spoke to you before.
Lad: the person in charge of your payment file worth of $4.800.000.00 MILLION USD
Lad: alright
Cammy: Huh?
Lad: yes the fule file is right under my care to be deliver to you
Lad: so how do we proceed
Cammy: First you explain who the fuck said I'm dead.
Lad: Yes some men came from your country with allot of proof that you are dead and they are your family members to represent to claim your funds
Lad: they have your death certificate
Lad: also your doctor report
Cammy: Well I am not fucking well dead!
Lad: Thank God for ur life
Cammy: Who are those maggots? I'll report them to the Feds!
Cammy: I'll give praise to Freyja and Odin.
Cammy: But answer my question please.
Lad: No need bc they are still under Security detention
Cammy: Who are they?
Lad: and we will hand them over to police today
Cammy: Tell me who they are! Who did they claim to be and who was the doctor? What did they tell you about me?
Lad: wait a munite let me check their file and tell you their names
Lad: Mr Jude Betsy by name
Cammy: And?
Lad: and Brown Hill. also a lady Nancy Smith by name and attorney by profetional
Cammy: Never heard of any of them.
Lad: yes that is what shows they are crooks
Cammy: Tell me who the doctor is. I'll tell the cops here and get him arrested.
Lad: look the Doctors name is Moore DON
Cammy: Kewl. I'll tell the cops.
Lad: and i find out that this guys can fudge any certificate
Lad: and that is why they agreed to pay the charge on your behalf
Lad: in other to claim your funds urgent
Cammy: Wait a moment.
Lad: ys am waiting
Cammy: OK, I was showing this to Nicu. He's opening the gun cabinet.
Lad: now to my own advice i will give you is to buckle up the required charge $57.00 and send it
Cammy: Just hold it a minute there Mister Alex!
Lad: then you can provide your present adress to us so we can deliver your funds direct to you
Lad: yes
Lad: to avoid wrong claim
Lad: give us your current adress
Lad: telephone number
Cammy: What's the deal with this money anyway?
Lad: you can even change all information about your mail box bc i dont know how this people came up with your vital information
Cammy: I asked you about the money.
Lad: Yes the fact remains that this name Camille White is on the winning list of amount $4.8million signed by the federal Ministry of Finance
Cammy: Huh?
Lad: and the funds was signed under my bank custody
Lad: and that is why i have acess to your file
Lad: understand
Cammy: I don't understand.
Lad: oh soryy
Lad: i begin to understand you have no idea of this funds
Lad: does it mean you are not the right beneficiary of this name C4mille White
Lad: am confuse about your questions
Cammy: Why the fuck shouldn't I ask questions? You tell me some assholes are saying I'm dead, and then that I'm owed a fucking fortune, from a place I never heard of! Where is Benin anyway?
Lad: the right owner of this email... and name C4mille White supose to be the right person and supose to be awear of this funds
Cammy: I asked where Benin is!
Lad: sorry but i wish u are in position to travel down to Benin Rep my country to withness everything by your present
Lad: Bein Rep is in west africa
Lad: pls plan your traveling particulars to comein person
Cammy: Africa? Who the Hel in Africa would want to send me millions of bucks?
Lad: there i will have full trust who am dealing with bc i dont want another wrong contact
Lad: Yes it is for real signed by The Fedeal Government of Benin during the 65 yrs aniversary of our finance office
Cammy: How would I be sure of my own safety so far from home?
Lad: you are 100 percent save under my custody want you decide to come
Lad: pls
Cammy: Could Nicu and I bring our own guns?
Lad: excuse me
Lad: what do u mean by guns
Cammy: You know - guns! Bang bang!
Lad: oh nonono our country does not permit moving with guns
Lad: we move freely
Lad: with harm
Lad: yes
Cammy: Freedom to carry guns is one of the signs of a free society.
Lad: no that is corruptions
Lad: am sory
Lad: we dont do that in our own country
Cammy: CORRUPTION???
Lad: moving with guns is against the law of my country
Cammy: How the Hel can you call that corruption?
Lad: yes according to our own las it is criminal activities
Cammy: If guns are banned only criminals will have guns!
Lad: am sorry but that is law of my country for your own safty in my country
Cammy: It won't be safe if we can't defend ourselves!
Lad: but i will assure 100percent security
Cammy: How?
Lad: we have many tauthorities using guns to protect officials like you
Lad: not every body
Lad: is permited to use gun
Cammy: People in a foreign place are supposed to protect us? How will we know who to trust?
Lad: immediately you trust coming to my country you supose to trust me
Lad: i am a traveler
Lad: and i know how you feel
Cammy: That means nothing to me.
Lad: but hv been in washighton DC ur country
Lad: last 2 months
Cammy: Where?
Lad: and i move freely with my friend with the trust i hv in them
Lad: i came for officials visit
Cammy: Hang on, where?
Lad: washighton DC
Cammy: So?
Lad: pls can u call me on my mobile phone right now
Cammy: Nicu doesn't use them, they're a cancer risk. I can't use one, as I'm hearing-impaired.
Lad: +229…
Cammy: READ MY FUCKING ANSWER!
Lad: CALL ME NOW
Lad: MY OFFICE NET WORK I S GETING SLOOW
Lad: WE NEED TO SPEAK ON PHONE
Cammy: We can't. I told you why. Anyway, you're in America. Am I supposed to be impressed?
Lad: I AM NOW BACK IN MY COUNTRY
Lad: MY VISITATION IN UR COUNTRY WAS 2 MONTHS AGO
Lad: AS I TOLD U
Cammy: But you were in America two months ago.
Lad: CORRECT
Cammy: So you weren't here. You were in America.
Lad: SOORY I DONT UNDERSTAND
Cammy: We're in Australia. You were in America. You got that now?
Lad: OH MY DEAR
Lad: AM SORRY
Lad: NOW I UNDERSTAND U
Lad: OH I THOUGHT U ARE CHARTING FROM AMERICA
Cammy: Why did you think we were Americans?
Lad: BC THE NEW INFORMATION WE RECEIVE FROM THOSE PEOPLE HAS USA ADDRESS TO THEY WANT US TO DIVERT THE DELIVERY
Lad: SOME PLACE IN FLORIDA
Lad: USA
Cammy: Maybe you have the wrong C4mille White.
Lad: SO HOW DO YOU COME UP WTH THIS EMAIL ID AND THE NAME
Cammy: Huh?
Lad: PLS EXPLAIN
Cammy: I don't get it.
Lad: MEANING I DONT DO ANY MISTAKE OR CONTACTING THE WRONG PERSON
Lad: BC AS FER AS YOU ARE THE RIGHT OWNER OF THIS EMAIL ADDRESS AND THE NAME THEREIN
Cammy: What am I supposed to explain?
Lad: IT MEAN YOU ARE THE OWNER OF THIS FUNDS
Lad: U MENTION I HV THE WRONG PERSON FEW MUNITES AGO
Lad: AND I ASK YOU HOW YOU HAVE ACESS TO THIS EMAIL U ARE USING
Cammy: Looks that way from the American connection.
Cammy: Because I created it, duh-brain!
Lad: YES AMERICAN CONNECTION CAN BE FAKE DUE TO THE WRONG CLAIM TO WANTED TO PERFORM
Cammy: For fuck's sake, will you please make sense?
Lad: YES
Lad: AM LISTENING
Cammy: What the fuck do you mean, "AM LISTENING"? You're the one who has 'splainin' to do!
Lad: OK MY DEAR NOW I WANT TO KNOW ARE YOU COMING DOWN TO BENIN TO CLAIM YOUR FUNDS BY YOUR SELF OR ARE YOU PERMITING US TO HAND THIS FUNDS TO THOSE REPRESENTAIVES AS THEY PLANED
Lad: THAT IS A SIMPLE ANSWER
Cammy: Let me sort this out.
Lad: U HV YES OR NO AS ANSWER BC I AM VERY BUSSY
Cammy: You'll fucking well listen, OK!
Cammy: First off, you tell me that some people say that I'm dead. Cammy: I tell you I'm not.
Lad: YS
Cammy: Then you tell me that I'm owed $4.8 billion by some little West African country. Of course, I'm gobsmacked.
Lad: YS
Cammy: Now you tell me that Nicu and I have to fly to Africa to settle this, or you'll give the money to people that you know are lying assholes.
Cammy: THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!
Lad: ANYWAYS I AM GETING OFF TO ATTEND MY CLIENT AND I WILL BE ON LINE TO CHAT WITH YOU IN AN HOUR TIME
Lad: HERE IS MY NUMBER +229…
Cammy: I'll be long asleep by then after devotions to Freyja.
Lad: AND U CAN CALL ME ON PHONE ANY TIME YOU LIKE
Cammy: And remember I can't call you. I told you I'm hearing-impaired.
Lad: SO WHEN DO I HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN
Cammy: Fucked if I know. BTW, please send me a copy of that death certificate.
Lad: PLS GENTLE MAN U DONT USE RESPONSIBLE WORDS
Lad: THE WORD FUCK YOU ALWAYS USE TO ME PLS I DONT LIKE IT
Cammy: MAN? I'm a WOMAN! Not even my father would be so cruel he'd call a boy Camille!
Lad: I AM AN OLD MAN OF 56 AND YOU HAVE TO BE ADRESSING ME WITH RESPECT NOT FUCK
Cammy: Do you have a problem with women who speak their minds?
Lad: NOT AT ALL
Cammy: So stop fussing about my words.
Lad: YOU ARE FREE TO SPEAK UR MIND TO ME IN GOOD MANNER NOT FUCK
Cammy: What's a "GOOD MANNER"?
Cammy: Anyhoo - tell me later. Freyja must be honoured on Her night.
Lad: ok we will talk latter
Lad: also will know your decission
Lad: thakns till then