Oh, shut up!

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Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

This diplomat-lovin', verbose windbag of a lad can write reams (in very good English too) but is incapable of answering one simple question I have:

It started the usual way...boxes of money in Iraq:

Quote:

How are you doing today?

Please do condone me for invading your privacy through this medium. Nevertheless, I desire to convey a very important message which in the long run will be conjointly beneficial to us.

This entails a business dealing which I will make known to you the full details in my next mail upon your response and readiness to work with me. Please do take this mail in earnest.

View attached link for proper understanding.

Respectfully Yours,

Major Gloria Isaac.

I say I'm interested which results in this: Rolling Eyes

Quote:

Saturday 07 - 21 - 2012 20:40pm

Hello,

How is your weekend? Thanks for your quick response to my email. I do assure you that you and I stand to gain enormously from this profitable venture if we both receive the cooperation desired for the success of a project of this nature and magnitude. Please visit the websites below as I noticed it did not come through in my previous email to you;

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/ middle_east/2988455.stm

http://www.jonathanforeman/. com/military/nyp_iraq/ 04192003_chest.html

http://www.voanews.com/ burmese/archive/2003-04/a- 2003-04-20-1-1.cfm (VOA NEWS)

I am a citizen of the United States and I was born in Manhattan in 1979. As a young girl I was a curious child. I lived in fantasy world half the time, and the other half I lived in a real fantasy world, the noisy streets of the upper west side Manhattan, NYC. After obtaining my qualification as a nurse i decided to enlist into the army in 2007. This year marks my fifth year in the army. I am a member of the U.S. ARMY USARPAC Medical Team. I am a qualified nurse by training. This is my second tour to Iraq. I spent six months in my first tour. This is my first month in my second tour. Because the US troops have officially left Iraq, those of us in the Medical Team have been seconded to operate under the United Nations(UN) as our services is still highly required because of the high wave of violence and suicide bombings that is still a part of the Iraqi life. Medical personnel here are unable to handle the high volume of accidents and injuries. I have been a witness to a lot of sad, horrific, mean and wicked action perpetuated by terrorist, religious bigots and militants. I am working on a book that would detail my experience when I eventually retire. I have attached some of my most recent pictures.

I have received several postings while here within Iraq. It is this my most recent posting that has landed me a good fortune which I intend to share with you. After about 2weeks in the new house I was allocated I noticed that there was a hidden door in the wardrobe that leads to an underground cellar. What I discovered in the underground cellar was quite revealing. I discovered three containers stashed with United States dollars. Ever since this discovery I have been unable to concentrate as I have been confused on the exact action to take. I have informed no one. I do not intend to inform the authority. I intend to help myself. I have been weighing a lot of options on how best to make these funds my own without the knowledge of the authority.

As you must be aware the American and United Nations troops in Iraq have served with distinction. There is strict observance to rules and ordinance. There is also a systematic probing and investigation of all troops to make sure that there are no unlawful activities. We are trained to report any suspicious movement involving anybody that might tarnish the image of America. Because of this singular fact it has been very difficult for me to tell any one nor spend a dollar out of the money. I have tried to carry on as if all is well with me.

I have decided to act after two weeks because i just found out that I might soon be re-deployed out of my present location to Afghanistan. If this happens without me taking action on the money I have discovered, I will ever live to regret my inaction as it is an opportunity for me to be financially solvent for ever. I need your help in order to make this a reality.

I have a patient who is a diplomat. I have known him since I arrived for my first tour. We are fond of each other. I have had extensive discussions with him on helping me transport some goods abroad. He has agreed in principle to help me. The reason why I am bringing a diplomat into it is that diplomats have immunity. Whatever they carry or transport across countries are covered by diplomatic immunity. It cannot be searched or opened by anybody been it customs, police or secret service. The goods are often covered with diplomatic seal. The goods will get to its destination without problems. Please be informed that I will not tell the diplomat the real content of the containers. The diplomat will deliver the containers to you.

Using the diplomat make this process completely risk free. The worst scenario is that the diplomat will be sent back with the baggage if there is any suspicion. He cannot be arrested, the goods cannot be impounded. He will merely be returned to the country he is coming from.
This is where you come in. Your duties or responsibility will be to receive the containers which contains the money from the diplomat. You are to keep it safely until I come to meet with you were we will discuss the modalities for sharing and engage in partnership while investing.

I need someone I can trust, someone I can rely on. Someone who will be truthful, frank and honest. Someone who will agree to assist me and be involved throughout the period the process will last. Someone I can count on to act as a genuine and an interested party. I want you to go through this email careful and get back to me. We can begin to discuss further details once I hear from you through email.

For utmost confidentiality I will appreciate that all our communication are done through email. It will be dangerous to communicate through the telephone as phones are often wired or tapped, calls often traced or intercepted. This is one of the security precaution that we must take.

If you are interested in been part of this process I will require the following from you.

1] Email address{if you have others apart from this one}

2] Any identification or photograph(a simple picture will be ok)

3] You can also include other information such as age, occupation and any other information that will help us get acquainted further.

Best regards,

Gloria Isaac(Major).

I then ask the simple question:

Quote:

I admit I am very interested in your proposal. However, what am I supposed to do with boxes of cash? I cannot keep them in my home. One never knows when fire, theft or etc might occur.

Does "she" answer this? Of course not:

Quote:

Monday 07 - 23 - 2012

Hello,

How was your weekend? Because of the nature of my job I might not always be able to respond to your email promptly. Please if I do not respond to you email quickly do not be worried. I might be on duty and it is impossible for me to access my email when on duty. It is my strong believe that we can succeed in this project if I have your full cooperation. I am trying to fine tune the delivery arrangements with the diplomat. We are looking towards the beginning of next week to embark on the delivery. That means we have from now till the weekend to tidy up all plans and preparations.

The diplomat can deliver direct to your preferred address. I will reach you with more details as we go along. The only way we can do this without putting ourselves in some kind of risk is by transporting using a diplomat. Bank transfer will trigger an alarm. The diplomat can deliver to you directly. This will be his mandate. I have had several discussions with him and he is willing to accomplish this task.

There is an adage which says that no man is an Island. I cannot claim to know it all. I have tried within my knowledge and limit planned this process. I am praying that nothing goes wrong. Haven gone through my previous communication what do you think about the entire transaction? Does it look foolproof? Do you have any addition or alteration to make. Or you have a suggestion which might help.

The success of this process will benefit the two of us immensely. I am taking the risk because it is worth it. On the sharing ratio i will suggest 60/40. 60% for me and 40% for your effort. Are you ok with this formula. Does 40% meet your expectation? I want you to be satisfied. I want your commitment and dedication. I will not want you to get greedy when we are sharing the money. Please I want your comment on this.

Please as we go along with this transaction I will appreciate you carefully read through all my email correspondence line by line. I want to be very sure that you understand what we are doing.

Please acknowledge this email.

Regard,

Gloria(Major)

I try again with this reply:

Quote:

I understand all that you say, but I feel you did not read my reply, so I will ask again:

What am I supposed to do with boxes of cash? I cannot keep them in my home as that is not safe.

Please address this issue as I can no further if this is not resolved..

Do I get an answer NOW? Nope:

Quote:

Tuesday 07 - 24 - 2012

Hello,

How are you today? I hope you are doing ok. I have held extensive discussions with the diplomat over the past few days and he has said he can help make the delivery to you starting by Sunday next weekend. He has a week off from duty starting this coming Saturday. He wants to use the off period to make the delivery to you. We are therefore looking towards Sunday which is the 29th of July, 2012 for the commencement of the delivery from Baghdad. The diplomat has agreed to convey the containers to you by this date. The diplomat will try to make ticket reservation by today or tomorrow for the first lap of the journey which will take him to London, UK. I will have more information for you once the booking is confirmed. I will also be able to confirm the exact date and time he would be traveling after the booking is made.

Please note that this is a special kind of delivery. The trunk boxes containing the money will be delivered at your door-step. The diplomat who will undertake the delivery will contact you as soon as he arrives with the boxes containing the money. He will call you on telephone when he arrives to finalize the delivery. This is where your cooperation will be of utmost importance. On proof, I will send you a picture of the containers in my next email. Also be informed that I have authenticated the genuineness of the money by randomly selecting some pieces and spending it in the open market. It is non counterfeit but real. I had to ascertain that the money is genuine so that I do not end up making elaborate plans and been disappointed at the end of the day. After ascertaining that the money is real my conviction to succeed in this venture increased a hundred fold. If I must confess I am very desperate to see this project through.

You are therefore required to provide once again your detailed address and communication details in your next email. Before now I have not bordered to ask for these information. I wanted you to have a clear understanding of what we are doing before making a formal request. Now that we have made some progress with preparations this information will be required now. The diplomat will need to know exactly where he will be flying to so that he can prepare in advance for the trip.

As we undertake the last lap in this project we have to be meticulous in all our dealings. Please the diplomat does not know the content of what he carrying. He does not know that it contains cash. I have kept this information away from him because I do not want his involvement. You must never in your conversation with the diplomat during the delivery process mention this. Please be reminded. Even though I trust the diplomat I am been very careful. I have no idea how he would reacts if I tell him the truth. The best thing is to keep this information away from him.

There is another thing which just crossed my mind which I think is very important. I have never done any sort of business in my life. I have been in government service. I do know that sometimes business do not turn out the way they are planned. This is why we have to be on guard and make contingency plans if the need arises. I would advise that you source some funds just in case it is required during the cause of the delivery. I do not envisage anything going wrong but it is very important to be prepared from your end. This is to be on the safer side. We have to anticipate anything. I will not want the process held up somewhere for whatever reason. Can you source some or all of these funds say between $2,000 to $5,000? Will you be prepared to be financially involved if need be? Can you create the time to make this work? I want a complete partner. One who can take responsibility. One who will do everything possible to make sure that we succeed.

Since my role will be less active during the delivery process I want an active partner. Please confirm to me that you are able to handle things from side when required.

Further details will be provided as arrangement is been finalized. I would advise that you provide the required information as soon as possible. Please acknowledge this email.

Thanks and regards,

Gloria(Major).

One last try:

Quote:

Hello

I am very interested in this, but I ask for the last time:

What do I do with boxes of cash? I cannot keep them in my home. That is not safe.

Please respond only to the above question.

Anyone want Major Gloria? I've lost patience.

Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 6:45 pm

lazy lad

, either auto reply or just cut n paste till he smells your money

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Not only lazy but greedy. Hasn't Gloria heard there's a recession in MuguLand where demands are now for $98 and funds are delivered in old carrot boxes?

Quote:

Can you source some or all of these funds say between $2,000 to $5,000? Will you be prepared to be financially involved if need be?

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 4:43 pm

Geezm what a windbag. I'll have to add this guy to the genus ..

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

^^ Oh, please do!

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

It proves that with some lads you can write absolutely anything and they won't read it. They'll just send you the next email in their script. Probably their grasp of English is not good enough to write anything to an appropriate standard for answering your question. It is always a delight to see the typos, misspellings and grammar errors when a really thick lad has to write for himself.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

^Absolutely. This lad has not responded directly to one thing I've written, just sends more of the same endless script.

Now "Gloria" wants me to email her diplomat, and I get a long-winded and most flattering description of said diplomat:

Quote:

The diplomat will travel in the early hours of Sunday. Hopefully he will be with you by Monday evening. The name of the diplomat is Dr. Bernard Pramana. He is a top diplomat attached to the embassy of Indonesia here in Baghdad, Iraq. He is an Indonesian. He has been in the diplomat mission for over 19 years. He is a young at heart and a handsome man, articulate, well educated and eloquent. I have known him for sometime and he has been very good to me.

Diplomat Pramana writes to me, and his writing style is very much like Gloria's. Just coincidence I guess: Rolling Eyes

Quote:

My name is Dr. Bernard Pramana, the diplomat your cousin Ms. Gloria Isaac talked about to you. I am emailing you to intimate you about my travel plans. The delivery is scheduled to commence at about 10:15am Iraqi time on Sunday the 29th of July, 2012. The precise time is 10.15am Iraqi time. I will email you again on Sunday morning Iraqi time from the airport before my take off to avail you with my flight schedule.

The first lap of the journey will take me to London, United Kingdom. It is from here I will arrange the final flight. I will provide more information after I make fresh flight bookings from London.

He must be a mind reader as well, since he's booking a flight from London to bring the trunkbox to me, but I haven't said where I live.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

You're not so cynical to suggest that the diplomat and Gloria are the same person are you?' Wink

'

I'm sure the diplomat can give you full details about how big the box is considering how articulate, well educated and eloquent he is. Go on, ask him.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

You forgot about "handsome". No, I'm sure the lad wouldn't be so immodest as to describe himself in such glowing terms.

I have no need to ask about the box, since Gloria was kind enough to send me pictures:

Trunk box closed:

Trunk box opened...Ta Da! I'm so excited!

I hope that, in addition to all his other virtues, Diplomat Pramana is also muscular.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

Ooh, lucky you!

Musclular? You'd hope so especially as Gloria said there were three of them!

Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 11:56 pm

I hate to be a bit of a tool here ( actually I am very good at it) but shouldn't those photos be marked as Fake etc?

By the way, I have a similar trunk in the basement and have been looking for some Chemicals to clean the money? Any ideas? I'm at the end of my rope.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

^Right you are. I totally forgot and will edit.

Diplomat Pranama is now at the airport on his way to my house (he must have the instincts of a homing pigeon since he doesn't even know which country I'm in) and the plot thickens. He is being detained!! His urgency is displayed in his ALL CAPS mode. I wonder if he'll need some money to bribe the officials in London as he did in Baghdad? Rolling Eyes

Quote:

FROM DR. BERNARD.

I ARRIVED LONDON ABOUT AN HOUR AGO. THE FLIGHT WAS SMOOTH FROM BAGHDAD TO LONDON. I HAVE ENCOUNTERED SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS WITH THE CUSTOMS AND BRITISH SECURITY WHO ARE OVERZEALOUS AND HAVE PUT ME THROUGH SOME QUESTIONING. I HAVE BEEN RESTRICTED SINCE MY ARRIVAL. I HAVE CALLED A COLLEAGUE WHO WORKS AT THE INDONESIAN EMBASSY HERE IN LONDON. THOUGH I HAVE NOT BEEN HELD I HAVE NOT BEEN ALLOWED TO GO OUT OF THE AIRPORT PREMISES. I AM WAITING FOR THE OFFICIAL OF MY EMBASSY TO ARRIVE SO THAT WE CAN RESOLVE THE ISSUES THEY HAVE RAISE. HE IS SUPPOSED TO COME WITH A LAWYER. HOPEFULLY EVERYTHING WILL BE RESOLVED LATER THIS NIGHT I WILL FLY OUT LATER IN THE DAY OR TOMORROW MORNING AS IT IS GETTING LATE HERE. I WILL KEEP YOU INFORMED OF PROGRESS. I AM ALLOWED TO USE THE BUSINESS CENTER AT THE AIRPORT. I WAS ALSO ALLOWED TO MAKE A CALL.

AFTER WE HAVE RESOLVED ALL ISSUES I WILL EMAIL YOU.

I WILL KEEP YOU ABREAST OF EVENTS AS THEY UNFOLD.

SINCERELY,

DR. BERNARD

Not sure why he's having a problem. His passport looks perfectly legit to me.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Major Gloria (who never uses one word if 10 will do) is very scared....very very scared:

Quote:

Tuesday 07 - 31 - 2012

Hello,

How are you today? I was busy all through yesterday. I was on-duty. That is why I have not communicated with you before now. A lot of problems arose in my absence and I am very happy that Dr. Bernard has been able to sort out the problem with the UK officials. He got in touch with me when he was looking for money and I was unable to help him because of my present situation. And he is quite aware of this. When I went through his different communication to me I was very scared. Very very scared. Scared that if anything goes wrong what will happen. I did not leave any money behind for security reasons. Even if I did I will be unable to send because of my present circumstance. There is strict monetary control here. Sending money from Iraq requires a lot of documentation. If I am caught doing this it could lead to a serious situation that could be grave. I had assumed that what I gave him will more than enough to take care of any extra expenses. Moreover I couldn't give him more than that because of rules on what a traveler can have on him at a time. The US$7,000 I gave him has now been totally spent in solving the problem in London. Since Dr. Bernard is completely in the dark as to the exact content of what he is carrying if anything goes wrong we could all be fucked.

Please I appeal to you to stay in touch. I expect you to please play your role. I want you to monitor and supervise his movement until the cases are handed over to you. Your best advise will be required. I am relying on you to make this project a reality. I will be away on duty later today so I will be unavailable to monitor the progress. I will try to check my emails if time permits. Please this is the time I need you. Once Dr. Bernard touches the US soil you have to try to be on top of the situation. Take decision that would be for the overall interest and success of this enterprise. Lets be prayerful for the overall success of this mutually beneficially project.

When the delivery is complete I want you to open one of the boxes and reimburse Dr. Bernard with the sum of $5,000 for his return trip. You must not let him know you are taking the money out of the boxes. You must take the boxes to a secured and private place where only you have access to. Once you confirm to me that the boxes have been delivered to you by Dr. Bernard I will in my next email give you the code to the boxes.

Again I will be on duty all through today. Continue to update me as progress is been made.

Acknowledge this email.

Regards,

Gloria(Major).

And then FINALLY we get to the point. The "Diploma", Dr. Bernard is in Houston, TX which is kind of odd since I don't live in the US and haven't told him my name, address or phone number. He wants me to call him. He also wants me to send him $595.

Quote:

For Your Immediate Attention
From the Diploma

I have attached a copy of the document I was given by the US customs. I am required to pay duties amounting to $US1,095dollars. I have only $500 on me. This is not enough to pay the money required. I need additional $595 to make up the balance. I need help from you or any where. The boxes have been seized pending when this amount will be paid. The cargoes will not be released to me until this amount is paid. I have been told that if this is not paid after a time period the cargoes could be seized. Please whatever you can do to bail me out of the situation will be appreciated. I need you to send the balance amounting $595 to me here in Houston, Texas so that I can add what I have and pay the money required.

I am really tired I do not know why these things keep happening. The cargoes has gone through clearing and it was successful. I have a phone number I can be reached on. You can Call me on 281 617 2878. Please I am available on this number now. I do not know what to say or do. When I hear from you I will know what action to take,

I arrived here about two hours ago but has been held incommunicado since my arrival because of my inability to pay customs duties. I need your assistance to pay this duty. I have reached a crossroad and need your help.

I hope you respond as soon as you receive this message.

Yours,

Dr. Bernard.