Corrupt a wish Genie

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 10:29 am

Granted. Well, that was easy - it's been a cartoon world all along. At least for some lads Very Happy

I wish my presentation would write itself.

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 1:06 am

Granted. Your presentation reads.."Screw you losers..I quit." You wanted a new job anyway.

I wish Bart did not continue to look for things, after he found them.

Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 6:34 am

Denied, Bart is the next star of Groundhog Day. You are the director and you have to see him do the same activity over and over.

I wish ice cream were not laden with calories.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted, your icecream is now calorie-free. They made a special "water flavor" just for you. There is also a "taste of money from NOK scams" one, and, of course, dog barf flavor is also calorie free. Enjoy!

I wish I could laugh when something is funny.

Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 2:41 pm

Granted. However the things you find funny are what everyone else thinks it cruel, so when you laughed your head off when that dog got hit by car, people came over and beat the crap out of you, which you also found funny. it's a never ending cycle.

I wish we had more sandy beaches in Maine.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. But they're full of Senator scarecrows, so there's no room for people and more.

I wish I was 7ft tall.

Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 4:31 pm

Granted your now 7ft. tall, however this was achieved by stretching your head vertically until the proper height was reached. But now your the No. #1 feature at the fair's freakshow exhibit.

I wish every road had a short cut to the destination.

Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:17 pm

Denied, the Genie believes that you are moving too fast and you've got to make the morning last. The Genie decides to set up Detours on every road you take for the next week. You can thank me later.

I wish you all would enjoy the detours of life.

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 12:40 pm

Granted, we take all the detours, including the Museum of Michael Bolton's face and the International Society of Donkey Poo Collectors. Some of us on this journey are not happy with this and throw Noid into the deepest part of the Grand Canyon.

I wish there was a happy opera about me.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. It's so happy, dozens of young girls in pink uniforms are just jumping up and down on stage right from the overture. After that there's a lot of confetti for every note sung, and the music is in major keys only, with 160bpm all the way through the evening. The conductor has a frozen grin on his face, and the leitmotiv tunes are "never gonna give you up" and "I should be so lucky".

Evidently this is so horrible that noone ever comes to see it. So the opera house declares bancrupcy after the second performance.

I wish I had big muscles.

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 3:45 pm

Granted, you now have big muscles, how only your face muscles grew large. Your large stretched head looks even more freakier.

I wish Wurzgnubbel could get some plastic surgery for his misshapened face and head.

Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 1:55 am

Denied, the genie is a genie, not a miracle worker. The genie in all it's compassion hereby gives Wurzgnubbel a paper bag to use in what ever way he / she sees fit. (The genie thought about giving a plastic bag, but thought better of it.)

I wish running through a flower covered field came with beautiful music for all to hear.

Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 4:24 am

Granted. You are running through a flower covered field..naked. Laughter is beautiful music to all watching.

I wish I had time to stop and smell the flowers.

Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 5:15 am

Granted.

You have all the time in the world to stop and smell the flowers - the plastic kind found at $1 stores. May their heady scents comfort you. Twisted Evil

I wish I were a multi-billionaire, without having to do anything illegal. Ethically questionable is okay, but not illegal. LOL!!!!

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Being a prostitute is not illegal in most countries, so enjoy. You will have to work quite a bit for that sum though.

I wish for better weather.

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 4:53 am

Granted. Genie sets you down on Venus..that's much better.

I wish tattoos were as easy to remove as they are to apply.

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 12:44 am

Granted. Genie has an easy time removing your tattoos by flame thrower. Oh, you wanted a less painful way? Specify next time.

I wish we had an air conditioner that worked well in our apartment.

Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 2:38 am

Granted, you did. The only problem is you didn't read the directions about securing the unit. It falls onto a police car below your apartment. I will visit you in jail.

I wish the temperature would change for Bart.

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:23 am

Granted, now it's -10F But feels much better than outside, damn humidity!!

I wish Mrs. Fargo could play World of Warcraft with some competent players.

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 12:41 pm

Granted. Oh, wait, they are competent players, but at Bingo, not WoW.

I wish I had a man in my life who loved me, treated me well and owns a multi-million dollar conglomerate. With a large penis.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. Unfortunately you are now a man and this guy in your life is your inmate. Enjoy.

I wish I had better ideas for granting wishes.

Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 4:30 am

Granted. You have better ideas now, for 5 year old children. You instruct them to call everybody a poo poo head and they smell like rotten eggs.

I wish the Olympic games were over already

Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 3:13 am

Granted! Genie has put you in the middle of nowhere without internet or cable. You can entertain yourself by building a tree house.

I wish I had a personal chef.

Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 3:33 am

Granted. Your personal chew is Yuri, he's from the Ural mountains in Russia, lived only with goats and cooks everything by boiling it. Enjoy boiled steaks, boiled fried chicken, boiled pizza, y'know where I am going here.

I wish i was pain free, and happy and alive all at the same time.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. You were alive, happy and painfree at the same time, which was December 12th, 1989, 8am-8.05am. Hope you enjoyed it.

I wish I was a great virtuoso.