Corrupt a wish Genie

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Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 5:50 pm

Granted. You are now the inbred redneck banjo kid in Deliverence. You spend the rest of your days working at Wal-Mart.

I wish I was eating better quality Mac N Cheese right now.

Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 5:34 am

The Genie suggests you do two things. 1. Don't shop at Piggly Wiggly any more for mac-n-cheese and 2. try deep frying your mac-n-cheese.

I wish Bart learned how to cook real food.

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:54 am

Granted. Bart is now a 5 star chef at Denny's world wide. That french toast you just ate. Quality by Bart.

I wish alcoholic beverages were free.

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 5:53 am

Denied, the genie has done an economic analysis and if alcohol were free, there would be a charge for Air. The genie did learn the following:

Quote:

Although alcohol may cause a slight rise in blood sugar levels when initially ingested--the overall effect of alcohol is to cause a drop in blood sugar. The more you drink the more the blood sugar drops. Eating before, during or after drinking can help to alleviate this blood sugar drop somewhat. Drinks with lots of carbs like beer or mixed drinks with sugary mixers can lead to blood sugar spikes preceding the blood sugar drop.

I wish cake were as healthy as vegetables.

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 4:59 am

Granted! At your age it really doesn't matter...

I wish Paranoid had a more deserving mentee..

Posted: Wed May 09, 2012 3:01 am

Granted, I'm his new mentor and I drive him insane to the point where he goes on a "Car Massacre" and by "Car Massacre" I mean that he was ran over a bunch of people (20 to be exact) with his car and was soon arrested, even though he did try to explain that it was just a "car accident" but unfortunately nobody believes him and Bart is now branded as a terrorist.

I wish I wasn't so kind and learned to stand up for myself once in a while.

Posted: Wed May 09, 2012 12:21 pm

Granted. You are now a mean person. You kill little animals and defend yourself by saying you were hungry. Everyone likes you even less now.

I wish I had a better metal detector that can find deeper targets.

Posted: Wed May 09, 2012 5:42 pm

Granted! You have a new one! it's called 'Shovel'.

I wish Carla Bruni will be able to cope with hubby being home all the time.

Posted: Thu May 10, 2012 5:05 am

Granted, she is, but you get jealous and walk out, just before he invents a device which turns citrus peelings to GOLD.

I wish rude people became like Dorian Gray.

Posted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:19 pm

Granted, sort of. Genie misheard the name and changes all people to be like Florian Hay, a Dutch coroner who specializes in drowning deaths. However he loses his job since everyone wants to be like him and now there is an over supply of Dutch coroners. Thanks for the wish!!

I wish I could be viewed upon in a more light-hearted manner.

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 4:27 am

Granted..Everyone sees you stuck in the chimney on the manor...ooops you said manner. Genie is sorry...

I wish this was easier.

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 2:09 pm

Granted, but Genie mishears again and gives you lots of chocolate laxatives, so you can s**t easier!! However this also causes your entire digestive system to collapse. Enjoy the colostomy bag.

I wish every morning I could wake up refreshed, and when I go to bed I fall asleep immediatley.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 5:45 am

Granted, but now you are a cow and you are being chased so you can be milked. The Genie is sorry.

I wish I had a glass of cold chocolate mild right now.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 6:14 am

Granted..You now have the mildest glass of cold chocolate in the universe. Damn, that's mild!

I wish that Paranoid has a good time..

Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 5:53 pm

Granted. ParaNoid is having a GREAT time. However his idea of a great time is being nude and digging a hole to China in the backyard. In a while the hole will be so deep that he can't get out. There the fun will end. And nobody is willing to help.

I wish wood paneling from the 1970's, along with moss green shag carpet would come back in style. And I had a Ford Custom Van to decorate the inside of it with that.

Posted: Tue May 29, 2012 10:32 am

DEnied. You are too busy bumping the CAWG thread.

Genie wishes the thread would still live on it's own and not be BF dependent.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted, genie pours some hectoliters of coffee into the thread, so the thread is now quite alive and jumps up and down all across your keyboard.

I wish to be free.

Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 4:59 am

Denied...For lad pain caused and general shitfuckery, you must remain locked up.

I wish Wurzgnubbel had a better lawyer.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted, his name is Barrister Charles Soludo, and his assistant's name is Mariam Abacha. He'll get to work as soon as I have sent him the advance fee. He wrote Western Union would be fine. I'm sure he'll get me out of jail easily.

I wish there was no soap in this jail's shower.

Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 6:58 pm

Granted, there is no soap at all, just lots of vaseline. Genie says your welcome.

I wish to have an easy summer.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. You are fired, so you now have plenty of time to relax.

I wish someone would finally get me out of jail.

Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 6:33 pm

Granted. You are now a destitute young woman in a Senegal refugee camp.

I wish someone would send Wurzgnubbel some money via WU.

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:02 am

Granted, he is sent $3000 via Wankers United. However this group, populated by wankers, keep the money themselves.

I wish I knew more about fixing automobiles and had the tools to do the work myself.

Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:57 pm

Bumped the genie again!! Mad

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 2:50 am

Gra....What? Genie will sit back and sip on a cold drink.

I wish this drink was stronger and colder.