Get(ting) Smart

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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 1:29 am

Meet Barrister Smart.

Here are some of the things he's written to Captain Mal in just five days (emphasis added throughout).

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One more thing is my Coffee and Cigarette,you just need to do something very fast about that. Again you will fuel my Car. Sure am not demanding too much?

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Am also using this medium to inform you that my charges for this transaction is USD$10,200:00.
You are to pay 50% of the charges now while the balance will be paid as soon as your fund is credited in your bank account.

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Simply put,that my services is not needed. You do not expect me to do your job with my hard earned money.
May be i should do your job with an empty stomach and also fuel my car with my urine. Is that what you are suggesting?
I can see that you are not ready for this transaction. You pay half of my fee now and the balance at a later date. This is the terms of agreement.

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Let me remind you that i never begged to apply for this job. It's you that needed my services and am telling you right away that i can't do your job with my own money.
It's quite obvious that you are not ready for a business. So why not let Mr. Jones to know his fate.
I have told you to pay 50% of my Service Charge now,while the balance will be paid when am done with your job.
This is all i have for you. When you are ready,do let me know.

Then Inpector Gadget called as an official from Germany. The Lad took that badly.

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I should have told him about the Paternity suit;did i discuss anything with you concerning that?
You told me someone is getting the Certificate for you,that i shouldn't bother about that. That when it's ready you 'll send it to me.Why are you now involving me.Can't the guy finish his job?
[A]s, as far as the issue of The Death Certificate is on,I have a problem with you given out my telephone number without my consent,because you made it clear that it's non of my business. So why on earth are you involving me now?Did you see how you are complicating issues? Simply because you Claim to know more than yourself.
Anyway,that's just the update,but i don't think you need my services because,i can't do your job when you can't pay for it.
If you know how to get the Form from them,contact them for it.
All am waiting for is the Death Certificate.

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What do you mean by only if he starts it,and i 've seen no sign of that? Didn't you said that you have asked another lawyer to apply for the Death Certificate from Germany?It seems you have a problem with your memory.
I don't need the Death Certificate but the Bank needs it.
You don't have any reason to supply my contact to them. You asked me to stay away from the issue of Certificate. And you still claim that i haven't started my work.
Henceforth,I will no longer attend to Mr. Hergescheimer or anybody from you again. As you claim that i haven't started my work. Whenever you think the time is right,then you pay half of my fee and I commence the deal,ok. For now let's keep the whole stuff pending. No pay,no service.

Then I made a phone call (which I'll have to post later), and thereafter the Lad was seething!

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I can't send you any invoice,as am not accountable to you.
Pay me what i demanded for your work. How i spend it is non of your business.

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Sending you an invoice means to give an account of how or what i use money for,right? That i won't do. Am neither your house maid nor your errand boy.
My fee is $10,200,and i ask for 50% of it. What am going to do with it is non of your business. All you need to care for, is whether your work is in progress or not. I don't endorse my signature on any paper for free. And you don't expect me to tell you what it cost.
I am your representative here. ThankGod you said obtaining a confirmation from the Embassy does not cost much. And not that it won't cost anything at all.
Again if it's just to pass the Certificate on to the bank and that settles it,very easy. Why can't you come and do it yourself? What about now that the issue of obtaining the Certificate still involves me?
Pay me half of my fee and what i do with it is not your problem.
Get back to me while i furnish you with the receiver's info.

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I go by the Principle that says,'Pay before Service'. It's as simple as that.

Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 11:34 am

Premium quality ladpain!

Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 4:26 pm

Your lawyer have demands that simply doesn't work for you. What you should do is get your own. Tell him that your lawyer mr Gomer will take care of the certificate for a much lower prize. See how he react to that.