New "Goofy crap your pets wrote" thread.

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Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:10 am

I need a GPS just to stay with this bait....

Quote:

HELLO MY BELOVED IN THE LORD.

I AM MRS JOY HAWAIIAN. FROM REPUBLIC OF IRELAND, BORN IN THE STATE OF OHIO USA. I AM LEGALLY MARRIED TO MR. DAVISON HAWAIIAN, A SOUTH AFRICA CITIZEN BORN BROUGHT UP IN SWITZERLAND, I LIVE IN SWITZERLAND WITH MY HUSBAND FOR 32 YEARS BEFORE WE MOVE DOWN TO SOUTH AFRICA IN 1985 AFTER MY HUSBAND RETIREMENT IN 1974, I AM 71 YEARS OLD BY THE GRACE OF GOD, I AM A NEW CHRISTIAN CONVERT, SUFFERING FROM LONG TIME CANCER OF THE BREAST.

@BearsSeason..Jeepers, Creepers where'd you'd get those peepers.. Laughing

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:00 pm

The West Africa Presidential Task Force found Mal's consignment in an hotel:

Quote:

Quality of The Consignment(On Scan).........Spendable Crispy United States Dollars.

Mal prefers his dollars to be crunchy.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jun 2011 Posts: 1066

Quote:

Jeepers, Creepers where'd you'd get those peepers..

Don't start. You wouldn't want to make Corona jealous. Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 8:30 pm

No wonder the banks are in such a crisis. This is from the Account Officer at the I-Bank of Liverpool. I just love how every word starts off with a capital letter Laughing

Quote:

We Apologies For The Tate Reply Of Your Mail,Is Due To The General Meeting We Are Having Here Makes Me Not To Be Able To My Email I Receive All Your Emails ,If You Are Coming Down To Liverpool Then Inform Us Early So That We Will Keep Your Won Prize In A Hard Security Metal Box In Our Security Office For Cash Payment,Mean While If You Can Not Make It Down To Liverpool For Cash Payment Then All You Need To Do Is To Furnish Us With All Your Bank Information With A Valid Photo ID Prove Of Your With The Transfer Fee Of (5,000.00 GBP) Five Thousand Great Britain Pounds,As Soon As We Receive The Transfer Fee Your Money Will Transfer Into Your Account Within 24 Hours

Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:16 am

New disease my lad suffers from "Cadiac Arteries Operation"

Not quite a Newb Joined: 02 Mar 2012 Posts: 31

These from my loan lad:

Quote:

Motto:Your Financial Problem Is Our Target

(Yes... I know.)

Quote:

Attach to this mail is loan agreement document which you are to sign
and send a scam copy of the signed copy to us for documentation.

He got it backwards, the "scam" copy is the one he sent me.

Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 10:57 am

Strange services this engineering company offers (emphasis added).

Quote:

(1) Cutting/opening of boxes of any nature ranging from diamond, metal and woody boxes,
(2) Removing of stamp like country stamp and security stamp on any currency
(3) Washing coated/defaced currency also, minting & printing.
(4) Spraying money with repulsive smell
(5) Hiring bullion van to people.
(6) Delivering of finished work to the customer’s direction like the bank or his/her house if in town here. Or any means desire

Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 9:06 pm

Think I've pissed someone off Laughing

(my bold)

Quote:

hello,
now we understand that you are not interested in this loan in the
first PACE. you was just playing with us this was so bad of you, you
account number you sent to us has been forward to the India police
soon it we be transfer to the British pol Ice you make us spend so
much money on your loan transaction when you know that you are not
ready to get this loan this company is really company you most lean to understand that we have cornetion all over the word, the amount
that spent on you transfer is 2000usd the money use in make you
document the one we spent on Suzanland you to pay us back if not the
police we get you arrested okay Mr bob have a good day

most lean, would 45 degrees be enough?
cornetion is that what the queen went through 60 years ago?
Anybody know where Suzanland is?

These are questions that need answered Twisted Evil

ETA: This gem just in from IMFFIRST (whatever that is) Laughing

Quote:

HELLO,
YOUR BANK INFORMATION WAS FORWARDED TO US REGARDING YOUR ACT OF TRYING TO SCAM A REAL LOAN LENDERS IN THIS COUNTRY. BY TOMORROW YOUR IF NOT RESPOND TO US NOW THE LAW WE TAKE IT FULL COST

Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 6:20 am

THE WESTERN UNION MUST GIVE YOU A PEPPER AS A RECEIPT OF THE $780 YOU GAVE THEM TO SEND PLUS THE FEE OF IT, SO THEY MUST GIVE YOU A CONFIRMATION PEPPER WITH TRACKING NUMBER ON IT, AND THAT TRACKING CALLED MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL NUMBER (MTCN). IF THEY GAVE YOU THIS CONFIRMATION PEPPER THEN ATTACH IT AND SEND IT TO ME OKAY.
THANKS

BELOW ARE THE INFORMATION I WANT YOU TO USE MAKE THE PAYMENT AND IT MUST LISTED ON THE CONFIRMATION PEPPER THEY WILL GAVE TO YOU IF THEY SEND THE MONEY OK.

Oh dear I will have to call WU and see if they hand out confirmation Peppers.

Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 1:38 am

The "BRITISH High Commission in Nigeria,Benin Republic,Ghana and Bokinafaso", began with:

Quote:

Dear Fiend

Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 4:29 am

You reading my emails again Yastreb? That was clearly addressed to me. Very Happy

Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 11:20 pm

Emma, the little angry princess who has cancer cure wrote:

I know you're angry and frustrated,but don't be,am ready to help u out.if u refuse my help,I will come there and crush your testicle so u stp fucking hals.

Hals? What are those? Candy or drugs? Or both?

Posted: Thu May 10, 2012 4:45 am

Franky Uncle wrote:

Get back to me so I will inform my Attorney to provide the necessary documents that will prove that you're the beneficiary of the fund, to avoid eye blow of the government and to show that the fund belonging to you is legal which doesn't affect any part/section of the money laundry law,for the fact that the documents carries court seal and stamp,you will receive it in good faith.

In the next message he said "eyebrow", but I still don't know what he means.

Posted: Thu May 10, 2012 11:13 am

Someone had a happy ending:

Quote:

It was after some months, my father was very sick, he was stroked and later died

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 Mar 2012 Posts: 19

Sorry for the long quote.

Quote:

I am Mrs Pamela Wiese a well known international trader,Health consultant,business tycoon,real estate and financial agent in western Europe I am married to a Ghanaian and we have 3 children and both lived in Europe and Ghana.

Sir,I spent not less than 6 hours going through your website and after due deliberation I decides to forward this confidential business transaction which involves the son of the former president of my country,my self as the trustee,our chemical research analyses from the united states,two other high personalities now you.

I do not want to take much of your time which may consume more energy,in my department as a medical doctor in the France army,I met and discussed with Army generals,majors,colonels and ex-leftenant in the army and they all loved me and confided in me because i am highly secretive on matters of confidential retreats.

Impressively,I have kept a close nurture of business transaction with my few medical staffs whom have the same vision and understanding like I am and they do not find it difficult telling me where most hidden treasures are kept in my own opinion I wish to establish the fact that I am just too easily trusted and by so doing i came across Four hundred Million united states dollars unflushed bills right from the united states printing and minting organization USMPO which are projected to be in circulation from the year 2012.

After series of laboratory tests by qualified laboratory test analysts assay both in the France and in united states we got the report that the bills are 100% pure and ready for legal tender but on the conditions of waiting for the appointed year thus it was tested and confirmed by highly accredible laboratory attendants and qualified chemical experts.

Therefore,we have waited for all these years to take up a decision on the country where we can direct and move in the fund,for total cleansing and my fear is only but two thing how do we shift this fund and how do we finance the business.

I have thought before now,only someone who will be capable to finance and buying of the liquide mercury which i have already made the contact in Madrid Spain as the product can be found in only one country which is in western Europe but never mentioned the particular country to me for few security reasons.

This transaction calls for an extentive closed door round table discussion if you will be willing to reply and give me your own opinion in the area you can be found in regards to helping us in transfer for the purchase of the product.

I have my colleague who is willing to deposit complete document of his father's five star hotel as colleteral for cash needed to buy the product for the flush and we do not want to go banks for the offer because our jurisdiction does not only end by getting the funds also for who can stand as shorty,and certainly after the business you will be re compensated with 10% of the total amount,5%for hotels and transportation and mobilization including the money invested for buying of the product as there is a saying back in my country that business is good when everyone profits.

I will not go too far in giving details but what I want you to assure me is that you must maintain this information highly confidential even if your are not interested by assisting.

I will continue with more detailed information when I read from you.

With kind regards.

Pamela K.Wiese

Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 11:48 pm

Quote:

Hello,

I am Mrs. Caro Cohen, a widow of 73 years, suffering from cancer of
the breast, i was married to a British man, we have been in Africa
since we got married, my husband James Cohen was killed during the UK
terrorist Attack.

The UK just won't let up....

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 3:27 pm

Quote:

Att; Beneficiary .

We receive an email from a lady , miss Carol Becky , she called us this
morning with this telephone; +1203-333-0996 informing us that you are dead
since last week, she said that we should send her your ATM MASTER CARD to
her home address 1011's 7 the st .water town, wi 53094, USA, because she
is a next of kin beneficiary to you, and she also told us that you
instructed her to claim your properties including your money in case you
are not here to be found on earth. so you are advised if this massage is
not true get back to us Asap so that we will stop paying attention on her.
before it will be late.
We are waiting to hear from you.

But what if I am found on Mars? And I hate false massages!! Evil or Very Mad

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I spent about 5 days with this one before I finally got bored with him. All he knew was "get a yahoo" and "let's chat". This is supposedly a college graduate from London.

Quote:

That is what emails are for. There is nothing about that chat stuff that appeals to me. It is a waste of hours learning nothing when emails take only minutes to type out and you actually learn something about the person.

My Lad says

Quote:

How has your day been so far.....

I've had enough of this trash

Quote:

It seems that this is going nowhere. I see no need to continue sending one sentence mails back and forth. It is a waste of time. Sorry but I will not continue in this way.

D

Typical idiot thinks

Quote:

i dont understand you anymore.... that why i told you to get a yahoo id.... That will be more better...

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 21 Nov 2008 Posts: 619

After I accused a banker of ridiculing/making fun of me..

Quote:

This is to acknowledge the mail we received from you today and we want to bring to your comprehension that the above mentioned documents are mandated to provide as such it will enhance us to proceed with the transfer of the fund to your account,there is no jester about it Mr Todger and i cannot make fun of you when am in my responsibility.

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 12:05 pm

I know this is just bog-standard hit lad talk but I love it!

Quote:

KISS MY GUN NEXT WEEK,
HEY DON,T PLAY SMART , TELLING ANY ONE WILL MAKE YOU DIE FASTER.
RELAX I AM IN CONTROL HERE

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Mar 2011 Posts: 198

When I asked my lad if is Western Union is a labor union, he said:

Quote:

You can't send money via organized labour

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 9:44 pm

Mal's latest lawyer Lad is aiming low:

Quote:

One more thing is my Coffee and Cigarette,you just need to do something very fast about that. Again you will fuel my Car. Sure am not demanding too much?

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Mar 2011 Posts: 198

^^ And I'm sure there's a certain kind of coffee he wants from Starbucks too.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 5:34 pm

Quote:

I think you should make them to understand that there is no way an ordinary biro pen can make a thumbprint to read as accurate as a machine would

And here's your proof Laughing

Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 6:12 am

Quote:

Dear Beneficiary,

This mail is to inform you of your registered package.CONTENT: Bank Draft
of 0, 000.00 USD registered by an Official of the United Nation. The Fund is a donation to you from the U.N through e-mails balloting in affiliation
with commonwealth poverty eradication program.

Guess the UN must have run out of money.

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