The Ditz's 1st Farcebook scammer (NSFW)

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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 1:08 am

Lad gets back to me, he wants me to go get him. We're going round in circles now, and I plan to make it effing obvious:

Quote:

HI MY DEAR WIFE,
I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME IS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU,BUT ONE THING IS THAT I WILL LIKE YOU NOT TO LISTING TO ANY ONE AND COME TO ME,YES OPPORTUNITY COMMIES ONE ONCE NOT TWO,HONEY GOD HAS JOINED US TOGETHER BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW EVILS WANT TO PUT THERE HANDS INTO OUR WEEDING HONEY PLEASE I AM PRAYING FOR US TO BE TOGETHER AND I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ARE PRAYING OR DOING FASTING AND PRAYER,
HONEY THE KIND OF INSULT AM GETTING FROM CHRIS IS NOT SMALL INSULT OK,

SO PLEASE HELP ME TELL HIM IF HE WANT YOU THE LET HIM GO AHEAD NT TELL ME HE WILL SCAM YOU THE HE IS A GUY MAN I DON'T UNDERSTAND HIM PLEASE I DON'T KNOW HIM AND AND I WILL NOT KNOW HIM OK,HONEY I SO MUCH LOVE YOU AND GOD IS MY WITTINESS AND NOTHING WILL STOP ME FOR LOVING YOU ,PLEASE I KNOW I DON'T HAVE ANY CELL NUMBER TO REACH YOU OR SEEING YOU ON CAM OR FOR US TO SEE EACH OTHER CAM 2 CAM,
BUT WRITING ON MAIL HONEY THINK ABOUT IT HOW DO YOU FEEL IT ,

YOU ARE ONLY ONE IN MY HEART AND IN MY LIFE,I DO LOVE YOU THAT IS ALL I WANT YOU TO KNOW,
AND SEE WHAT THE GUY CHRIS WITH TO ME AGING,AND IF I WRIGHT YOU MAIL YOU FORWARD IT TO HIM WHY HONEY,

STILL LETTING YOU KNOW AM THERE FOR YOU,
AND FOR THE LAPTOP I TOLD YOU I HAVE WRIGHT SABRINA THE TYPE OK AND SHE HAVE NOT GET BACK TO ME,
YOURS LOVELY ONE,

PRINCE LAD

More soon

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 3:04 pm

^^ Very nice reading so far Thumbs up

I truly hope you can make him travel and have a beautiful weeding at the camp Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:01 am

Thanks Bob, I hope so as well. "As god is my wittiness" I plan to make that effer travel. ETA my reply:

Quote:

lad,

I have no idea what you are writing about. I have read your email many times and it simply does not make any sense to me! You say Chris is writing to you? How on Earth did he get your email address? And what is a "guyman"??? It sounds like something from a gangster movie! Was íst das "scam" you write about? You will have to explain these things to me! Chris has been nothing but a gentleman to me, and unlike you, he answers my questions quickly and courteously.

You still haven't even bothered to confirm your travel details and we are supposed to be married when I arrive in Benin. I have gone to the trouble of tracking down a Lutheran Minister to marry us (from 12,000 miles away I might add) and you can't even be bothered to tell your future wife if you will even attend! This upsets me greatly, as your future wife you and I are supposed to be equals, and yet you have done nothing to show me that you believe this. If anything, you have tried more than once to control me!

Lad, I love you, but you make NO effort to show me you love me. If I truly believed you will travel to Benin I would drop Chris in a second. but since you continue to skirt around this I feel I have to take Sabrina's advice and find someone who will truly love me for me

And AGAIN, you go on about this cam and yet you still haven't told me what a cam is! I feel I am going around in circles over this, and I must say it makes me very angry that you tease me like this. Why would I get a "cam" without knowing what it is?

And I have asked Sabrina, she says she hasn't received anything from you in almost a month! Perhaps you should write again, as I have no idea what she means when she talks labtops. All this talk of processor speeds, RAM and ROM and Hard drive space is as foreign to me as German would be to you. And when I asked her what a HP was, she laughed at me!

Ditz

Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:35 am

lad gets back to me. Bolding and comments are mine:

Quote:

HI MY DEAR WIFE,
I AM VERY HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU,
BUT IN ACTURLY SENSE HONEY I HAVE TOLET YOU KNOW THAT,IF YOU DID NOT FORWARD MY MAIL TO CHRIS I DONT THINK CHRIS WILLHAVE MIND TO INSULT ME AND TALK TOME ANY HOW,HONEY IN MY TRADTION ,IF YOU GIVE YOU HUSBAND RESPECT ALL YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTER WILL GIVE YOUR HUSBAND RESTPECT,BUT IN A WAY THAT IF I WRIGHT YOU EMAIL HOW COME CHRIS WILL GET IT ,He has a point. I think I'll let Chris answer that one Wink

HONEY I HAVE TO CONFAEC ON YOU AND OUR ALMIGHTY GOD IS MY WITHNESS THAT I REALLY LOVE YOU AS MY WIFE AND I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ON YOU AND MAKE YOU THE HIGYERS HAPPY PERSON IN THIS WORLD,

HONEY I HAVE BELIEVE YOU BUT WHAT I NEED FROM YOU IS ONLY SEND ME YOU NEW PICTURES ,AND ONE MORE THING TO CALL ME ON PHONE OR GIVE ME PHONE NUMBER THAT I WILL USE AND CALL YOU,

HONEY I WANT TOLET YOU KNOW I I love you forever and I kept on believing that someday I will be able to love you more as time goes by. I don't know what to say, because I have a lot. If you ever feel the same as I do, then I would be completely glad for the both of us. Nothing can change my love for you and I will always be the love of your life ... forever. I kept on believing.

I will always put a special spot of you in my heart. No matter where I go, I carry you in me. I'm hoping that it is you,KATRIN, who feels the same way as I do. Remember, I love you,

PLEASE FOLLOW ME AND LET US HAVE OUR WEEDING COOL HONEY SHOW ME THAT YOU ARE MY WIFE , I SWEAR KATRIN, it should be emphasized that the kind of love existing in our relationship is void of fantasy or a whirlwind romance. If you don't know, my love for you isn't the comparative analysis of "M&B" stories or any other fictional romance. But this is the love that is enveloped with the seal of reality without any shadow of doubt.

Not that there are no other fish in the ocean upon whom I can sling my hook, but who can be like my dear Betsy that loves me with such generosity of heart? (Now I KNOW this is stolen of the net, but the extremely jealous Ditz will latch onto this for sure) I love a hand that meets my own with a grasp that causes some sensation and which only your's can do. I love you not only because of beauty but for your sense of decency, delicacy, kindness and other complementary qualities. I can't help doting on you. Therefore all my gestures of love towards you come straight from the bottom of my heart, I swear!

LOVE YOU AWALYS
KATRIN I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY WIFE,
YOURS LOVELY HUSBAND,
PRINCE LAD,

the Ditz writes back and BOY, she's NOT a happy camper. Not only is Jealousy a curse, but I manage to pop in my fave south park quote:

Quote:

Emeka,

I am extremely upset with you as I read this. Who the hell is this Betsy? First there was Clare that you cheat on me with, then this fucking Betsy! And for a person who claims to love me, you can't even GET MY NAME RIGHT!

My name is Ditz, it is at the bottom of every email I send you. Katrin is German slang for a "Donkey raping shit eater"!!! Is THAT how you see me? As a Donkey raping shit eater???

We will talk when you tell me who these other people are, and when you finally agree to meet me in Benin.

Ditz

I spell her name with a capital H, to ram home the message. I think Chris will send our lad a quick love note a little later on as well. And indeed he did. Seems our fake lad is no longer scared of real lad, fake lad has the gomerbois on side:

Quote:

Hey smallboi,

Sorry for not writing sooner, but I've been spending the payday I got from one of the mugus the G0merboyz sold me! I thought Bonita a bit expensive, having to cut the G0merboyz in, but in the end it's paid of handosmely! Those Americans, they must love us guymen, she spent an awful lot of money on me Wink

So, I hear you're still working on The Ditz. She wrote to me asking if I was writing to you, and I simply responded by asking who you were! And the stupid bitch actually fell for it! God that woman is stupid! Look, she didn't forward any emails to me, I don't even think she knows how, she's that dumb! I used the software I bought from the G0merboyz to hack into her account! I told you, I'm better resourced than you, and they're the reason why!

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret smallboi simply because you aren't competition to me. Even with the right tools I still don't think you're man enough to do the job. You want a payday, you have to invest more than a shitty poem you stole from the internet. I bought this software from the g0merboyz and that's how I could hack into her email acoount. Have a look, I bet you have the virus too! See if you can find kernel32.dll. I bet your computer has it. You're a yahoo lad in an shitty internet cafe in Ghana somewhere, you probably have every virus known to man on that machine!

<snipped, but from the Gomerbois site>

And why am i doing this? Because I KNOW I can steal your payday even with the technology. I know this because you're too much of a smallboi to travel and when she arrives in Benin I will be waiting... To take charge of my payday! So go ahead, write to her, tell her about me writing to you, I no longer care. I am so sure of my payday that if you even GET to Benin, fuck it, I'll pay your air fare home again!

But let's face it, you are way too much of a smallboi to take on the challenge, aren't you!

one love,

Chris

For those not computer literate, kernel32.dll is a vital part of windows that can't be deleted, a tip I got from the gomerbois website. Hopefully, it'll freak out the lad

Posted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 7:20 am

Lad gets back to me with a stolen from the net apology (It had 605,000 hits btw), and he forwards what I sent him as Chris as well:

Quote:

HI MY DEAR WIFE DITZ I KNOW MISTAKES IS ALWAYS,

but i want to let you know it will not happen aging hope you find it in your heart to forgive me and let yourself believe in me again and in my love for you. I know I don't make things easy for you. I get scared of my overwhelming feelings for you and I run, but my heart always brings me back to you. I love you. Forgive me and I will never leave your side again.

I come here today, in this way, because I need to apologize to you. I failed you. Although I did not lie to you in words, I lied to you with faces that did not belong to me. I never meant to ruin the friendship that meant the world to me. You mean the world to me and now I come to you asking for forgiveness. If in your heart you find you can't, then I will understand and learn from this experience.

You have come into my life at a time when I needed you the most. We talked about so many things that I started to realize my heart and my soul could actually feel something other than hurt. You placed comfort where there was fear, confidence where there was doubt, a shoulder where tears could fall and completeness where there was emptiness. I wanted to hold onto to this so badly that I did whatever it took for you to notice. What I didn't realize was that I could lose my entire being, all of who I was and all that I had placed in you. I wanted to be the one who would be there when you needed to talk.

I wanted to be the comfort for your soul when the world was too much to handle. I wanted to be strong for you when everything else seemed impossible. I wanted to love you in only the way you deserved to be loved, never realizing that I was destroying myself and you. Somehow I needed you to be a part of my life. The only problem was that I was willing to jeopardize anything to get that done.

All the things that I told you about how I felt and how you make me feel were true. Nothing else mattered to me except hearing the laughter in your voice when you were happy. You made my days easy to get through and my nights at peace, looking forward to another day, even though distance separates us just being was enough.

I'm sorry for hurting you and if I had to do all over again I would have been 100% with you.and honey in a way that God is with us nothing will happen to us,when i told you that Chris is writing me mail you think i am lying to you,please the name you saw there is nothing to me,ok,

do what i ask you to do i need your new pictures 5/6 and call me or give me phone number i will use and call you,
i forward what Chris wright to me to you,

Forgive me please,

If loving you was wrong, I don't want to be right and if living without you is right, I would rather be wrong all my life. I love you and I always will.

yours lovely one ,

PRINCE LAD,

Lad sees the Ditz is on Farcebook, and decides to converse:

Quote:

58 minutes ago Prince Lad
hi honey
hello talk to me
i know you are there

51 minutes ago Ditz
am busy, give me a moment

51 minutes ago Prince Lad
ok

46 minutes ago Ditz
please be patient, I am arguing with Nick. he wants me to give him money, I of course do not want to
if he gets to angry I may have to call the police, I have already asked him to leave

45 minutes ago Prince Lad
why
and how much he want you to give him

44 minutes ago Ditz
$4,000
he says I owe it to him as I got the proceeds from the farm and he didn't
he is drunk and it is only 6pm

43 minutes ago Prince Lad
dont mind him ok honey let us discus some thing important ok

41 minutes ago Ditz
nick wants me to get offline, I am worried about how drunk he is. Nick has been violent before

41 minutes ago Prince Lad
ok honey

40 minutes ago Ditz
what do you want to talk about? Have you decided about Benin yet?

40 minutes ago Prince Lad
yes

39 minutes ago Ditz
what have you decided?

39 minutes ago Prince Lad
to have our weeding

39 minutes ago Ditz
In Benin?

37 minutes ago Prince Lad
yes
and one more thing you get my mail yesterday

36 minutes ago Ditz
I got one, but not the other it would seem. You say Chris wrote to you?

35 minutes ago Prince Lad
yes is two i send to you so my dear read it will ok

35 minutes ago Ditz
yes I will read it, once it arrives of course

34 minutes ago Prince Lad
no is suppose to be there

34 minutes ago Ditz
it is not, I only received one email from you
I just checked

33 minutes ago Prince Lad
check it well ok my dear

33 minutes ago Ditz
you want me to check again?

32 minutes ago Prince Lad
and i want to know the condition you keep that idiot that treating me

31 minutes ago Ditz
I do not understand what you mean

30 minutes ago Prince Lad
you read what he wright
to me

28 minutes ago Ditz
I cannot, what you wrote about him I take it is in the email that hasn't arrived. I cannot read what isn't there

27 minutes ago Prince Lad
you told me now that the one you see is the one that bastard wright to me

27 minutes ago Ditz
you say Chris has written to you? how is that possible? I have not even mentioned you to him
I told you the email I received is your apology, it is beautifully written I must say

25 minutes ago Prince Lad
ok wait see what he wright to me
that he hack you email

23 minutes ago Ditz
was ïst das?
what do you mean "hack you email???"
what do this mean?
I will be back, Nick is getting angry I am talking to you and not him

9 minutes ago Ditz
It is good Sabrina is here, she can protect me from him if he tries to get violent
I am sorry but I must go. The police have been called and I will return once Nick has been removed

In RL, I decide to go to the pub! Nick Nolte, you are SUCH a bastard, the way you treat the Ditz. Good thing the cops are there, Nick's been arrested. Bolding and comments are mine Wink

Quote:

Schatzi,

I am sorry I could not stay in facebook for you, but things got very ugly here in Redfern. The Police came and Nick tried to hit them and was arrested! He made such a fuss about the money, and all the neighbours heard everything. I do not know if you know about Redfern, but it is a very classy neighbourhood and the people who live here often look down at Sabrina and I. Something to do with what they call "new money" whatever that means. I am certain that Nick getting taken away by the Police will be talked about in Redfern for some time to come!

But I am SO excited that you have agreed to travel to Benin. I can't wait for your copy of the ticket like sabrina did for me to send to you! We will get married as soon as you arrive, then we will party like it's 1999! And I will make love to you like never before! Oh schnucki, let me know when you have your ticket! I am so happy, I could shit! (There's that John Water's quote again)

Kathrin

As you can see from the above, the Ditz "didn't" get the email from Chris. Under the subject heading of "Come on" I sent our lad this:

Quote:

Did you REALLY think I was gonna let you email Ditz about me??? You must be as stupid as she is! Of course I blocked it. Like I said, unless you travel to Benin (which I have serious doubts you will, 'cos you're a lazy sack of shit), I'll be waiting at the airport for her... And my payday. Maybe I'll buy you a postcard from the Airport smallboi

Oh and I'm thinking of writing to the niece as well. She may be a psycho, but I've seen her pics, she's fucking hot! I'd tap that ass anyday! You should check out her facebook page!

One love,

Chris

I couldn't resist, not that I tried Wink

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 6:27 am

Lad gets back to me with stolen poems and whinging about money. ETA, there were 37,900 hits from the stolen poem:

Quote:

Hi my dear wife ,

I love you. I love every little thing about you. I love your cute smile, your magical eyes, and the sound of your voice. I love your gentle touch, and I love the warmth I feel when I’m by your side. I can't stop thinking about you when we are apart. I need you by my side. You complete me. You mean the world to me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the one I've always wished for. I never thought that I would ever meet someone as special as you. I love each and every moment I share with you.
and secondly i want to let you know that my fly ticket is not available because i i don't have the money to get my fly ticket honey,

i have told you before that i have nothing with me,but for to get you in my life as my lovely wife yes you are and i am read to be with you forever and have the love as you want my love,
please if you know what you can do to help me ok i will apriciacte that on you,and once aging let this man called chris stop writting me mail on,please,
i love you so much and hope to be together soon my love ,
yours lovely one,
PRINCE LAD,

At least he got her name right. I think it's time to remind him he's SUPPOSED to be a cashed up business man: Rolling Eyes

Quote:

Schatzi,

Your flight ticket is not available? Then how will you get to Benin? As I said I am happy to refund your money, but it is a Lutheran tradition that the man make his own way to the church. Nick spent nearly $40,000 on our wedding back in 1995. I dread to think what it would have cost today!

You say you have no money? I thought you were a businessman! What about this gold you deal in? Surely you could use some to get you to the Church! If you do not have money then how do you run a business??? You haven't been lying about your businesses have you?

I have explained many times about my Lutheran traditions, and if we are to be married, then I expect them to be followed to the letter. I am a deeply superstitious woman (as are most German women), and if traditions are not followed it does not bode well for our wedding, let alone life after the wedding!

I am unconcerned about HOW you get to our wedding, but it will be by your own method. I am happy to fly us back to Ghana after the wedding, but I cannot supply anything before it, I have explained this many times. It would spell doom for our marriage.

You say Chris is still writing to you? I will ask him to stop, but to do that I would have to start writing to him again, I had stopped after you agreed to travel to Benin as promised.

Ditz

Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 2:52 am

lad gets back to me with more boring stuff stolen from the net, as well as forwarding the email Chris sent him. I think Chris should back to him later. Bolding is mine:

Quote:

HI MY DEAR WIFE DITZ,

Do you remember when we first met, how your eyes met mine, how I shook like crazy, how everything just felt right? Do you remember when we first kissed, how our knees went limp? Do you remember when we first touched each other, how it felt like we were meant for each other? Do you remember when we first laid in each others arms, how I never wanted it to end? Do you remember when we said, "I do," to share our lives together, how we felt like we needed nothing else in this world? Do you remember when we had our first child; how we thought it just couldn't get any better? Do you remember when we cried on each others shoulder, how we felt like how time flew? Do you remember the first time I said I loved you?

I love you because you bring the best out of me. I love whom, I have become since I have known you. I love your terrific sense of humor. Every time I look in your eyes, my heart misses a beat. I enjoy doing things with you and spending time with you. You are simply irresistible.

Sometimes I feel lost and out of touch, but when your there, I feel safe. Your voice soothes me. I could sit here and try to tell you just how I feel, only I can't find the words other than I am happy we met and have gotten together after all we've gone through.

You make me feel loved, you make me feel needed, but more importantly, you make me feel wanted. That is something that I hadn't felt in a very long time. We have slowly grown into a beautiful relationship that only you and I can understand.

You are becoming my best friend, my lover and my soul mate. You are a blessing that my entire being is very thankful for. I feel that we were made to love, listen, understand, and work through all times in our lives together, a truly rare gift.

We have both gone through so much in our lives; we've both been hurt and have lost trust in others, but I ask you to give me a chance as I give you one. I don't ask for much, only for you to love me as I am and not to hurt me as I would not hurt you. I only wish to be by your side and with no one else.

From this moment on, we have each other and all the time to be in each other's arms. When I say I love you it is truly meant. honey for your tradition you are always making as a statement i want to let you know that every woman bin has a traditions so please ,secondly this Gold you are talking about,yes i am a business guy and i dale on gold and diamond but remember i told as my wife that i have a problem that criminal attack me,

and since then you did not ask me how i am and you are not Evin asking me how my tradition is or if i am coming to Benin i will come with any person just only wedding you are asking me or if i am coming to Benin ,honey please i want to let you know that what we are doing is not an a childish thing ok,so please forget about your tradition and help me with what i ask you,ok and i promise to pay you back,

once aging tell this guy called Chris that he should stop treating me ok,

giving you %10000 of our wedding but help me and i want to let you know that i am coming to benin with Three of my people ok so what should i do honey,a person you are getting married to is not another person to you ok my love,

Thanks and let God bless you every Time and Every Day,
yours lovely one,
PRINCE LAD

If he actually goes through with it, that'll make my day. Though I suspect he's lying through his teeth. The Ditz sends this back;

Quote:

Lad,

so please forget about your tradition and help me with what i ask you,ok and i promise to pay you back,

I am sorry, but if you ask me to do this again our relationship is over! I am a deeply traditional and superstitious woman, more so after the Marriage to Nick fell apart. You may bring whoever you wish, but I have said I cannot and will not send you money before the wedding. Afterwards is a different story, but I will not bow to before.

As I mentioned at the time, I was sorry to hear about you being mugged, but that a long time ago, surely you would've had time to recuperate since then. And I also asked if you were insured. If so, surely the insurance company would've covered your losses. If you weren't insured, why not?

I did not even think about you bringing someone else, as long as it is not those whores clare and betsy I will be happy to meet your friends. Though they will need their own cabins

Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 7:52 am

Lad gets back to me, seems he likes this mix of stolen crap and begging for the same things he did in caps lock:

Quote:

Hi my dear wife Kathrin,

i want to let you know that the business i am doing is company business ok,and want to let you know that the Gold business i am doing is private ok so please since i lost my property i am not ok ,i was attack with am-robbers and which i let you know honey please i am crazy about this our wedding please my love,i want to let you know this,

I don't remember when I asked for our relationship to begin, but I remember the feelings you gave me whenever I was around you. I felt as if I was in a place where I would never get hurt and that's exactly what you did. I have never realized the pains of love until now. Everywhere I look I see your name or a small symbol that reminds me of you, and I find myself getting angry because it only reminds me of the pain that I cannot be with you. I wish that we could go back to the days when it was me and you. I want to show you how much you mean to me. You make my heart stop, even now after a year whenever anyone mentions your name or I see your face. I only wish things in life were simpler so that it could be me with you. I will love you forever.

A relationship might get lost because of many reasons like difference in expectations from each other, incapability of spending adequate time with each other, failing to communicate with each other etc. But irrespective of all these facts the emotions remains and we tend to get back our lost love. Since, black letters on white paper is the best medium of expression thus lost love letters are the best way to profess your feelings and emotions for your lost love. With romantic lost love letters, you can surely get back your lost love. Even if you are not professional writer then also you can write some cute lost love letters. All you need is pour your heart and let that special person know about your pain and sufferings. honey i need your new pictures and the phone number that i will use and contact you ok,

Thanks and let our almighty God bless you ,
Yours lovely one,
PRINCE LAD

I think it's time for a bit more from Chris! Under the subject heading of Önce again"... I send him this: Wink

Quote:

...I win!

why should i stop writing to you, you give me so much entertainment. You smallbois always do!

So, how do you find sitting in your shitty internet café in Ghana for hours at a time while I write from the comfort of my own bed? Being involved with the Gomerboyz was the best thing I could've done. I have my rolex, my HP laptop (you know, the one you want Kathrin to buy you), my funky threads, my $800 shoes.

I got a nice car last year and have used the paydays the american mugus send me to put my kids through school (yeah that's right mugu, I'm married). And at the end, they'll be better at scamming than you'll ever be, yahoo yahoo boi! Suck shit boi, when I meet kathrin at
Cadjehoun Airport! I don't live too far away and you have to travel, I doubt you could do it.

One love,

Chris

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 6:23 am

After a bit of checking seems the Ditz hasn't written since tuesday. but she DOES have a good reason, her sister died. Bolding is mine:

Quote:

Schatzi,

I am sorry for not writing sooner, but I have been on a flight to Frankfurt in Germany. My sister (and Sabrina's mother) has passed away, and Sabrina and I are in Germany for her funeral. It is a long flight and we are both very tired.

Helena had been ill for a long time, but at the beginning of the week, she showed signs of complications from an Infected Madagascar and required immediate cranial-rectal inversion surgery. The operation is highly experimental as well as very dangerous for the patient and unfortunately Helena died from the surgery late on Tuesday evening our time. Oh schtazi, we had our falling out, as she did not want me to give up my modelling career when I married Nick, let alone move to Australia. I missed her so much when I was in Australia, and now she's gone! And she was only five years older than me.

You would have liked her schatzi, she was a beautiful and strong willed woman, much so than I. She took over her husband's trucking business when he died in 1991 and turned it into one of Frankfurt's most respected transport firms. I have spent much of the week wondering who will take over the business, it is a family company after all. (no prizes for guessing who'll inherit it) Wink

The funeral is tomorrow afternoon and Sabrina and I have decided that we will stay here and travel to Benin from here. Wolfie our travel agent is working on the details but he assures us it will in fact be easier to travel to Benin from Germany than it would be from Australia and we should still arrive in Benin on the same flight.

I have sent you a photo of Frankfurt from our Hotel room window. Isn't it gorgeous! If you look to the top left you can see Urolagnia, where I grew up! I love being back in Germany schatzi, I just wish it wasn't under these circumstances!

And I have written to Chris and he has said he hasn't written to you at all. I doubt he will be a problem for you.

Ditz

I also send him this picture:

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 2:53 am

Lad gets back to me. he's a broken record now. Even after stealing more crap off the net he still wants photos and mobile phone. The Ditz is travelling of course she won't be able to do that:

Quote:

HI MY WIFE DITZ,
i am very very sorry about what happen and i am here to let you know that no more saw ding death in your family,God is there with us any were we go ok,honey and for what you are telling me what Chris is doing if he has wright mail aging yes my dear i will not lied to you and after reading this my mail the second one was the last mail he root to me ok,

HONEY i want to let you know that Our love continues as an enchanting tale of long ago, seeing into our souls, we sense the deja vu of Camelot. You forever empower me to be just who I am, but encourage me to be more because you see my whole potential. You've made me your King, and I cannot wait for the day to be in your arms forever! This distance shall be short lived for deep within we know that all obstacles shall pass and our souls will be one!

I love you with my whole existence, my whole life and nothing in the world can take that away! You've created a secret mental palace, a fantasy that only WE can reach within our dreams. You are my paradise, my safe-haven, the security and stability that I have longed for. I love you, my sweetie Ditz I understand that we have not been together for very long, but I want to express to you the love that I feel. My life has been a hellish nightmare, one that haunts and never leaves me to peace. The day that I realized that I loved you, my bad dreams ceased.

What I feel for you is that awesome love that poets write about and that we mere mortals only dream of experiencing. It is the love that is considered unconditional and undying; so great that my heart seems to burst with the joy of it. I cannot fathom living my life without you - waking would never be the same without your sweet face to look forward to; I would not be living, just existing; sleeping would be impossible without you to dream of.

You have made my life worth every moment, every breath. I know that we are young, and as such are thought not to feel such intense emotion, but what I feel is true and blinding in it's power.My heart is yours, my soul in your keeping. Please treasure it so that i will know how much love and how much care you have to me and give me %500000 of love you have to me ,yes my wife Ditz i want to let you know that any were you are in this world that my love and my soul and also my spirit is with you my love,

please my love i need your new pictures and the cell number i will use call you ok,
yours lovely one ,
PRINCE MEMEKA,

I LOVE how he spelt his own name wrong again Wink

More soon

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:50 pm

I send him this back, bolding is mine:

Quote:

Schatzi,

I am sorry to take so long between emails but it is a difficult time right now. The funeral was yesterday, and despite the fact Helena wished to be buried, Helena's body had to be cremated as an Infected madagascar can become highly contagious in death (something I was totally unaware of). I am beside myself in grief over this turn of events, but even with the cremation, Helena's funeral here in Frankfurt was beautiful. But I wish I was in Germany for other reasons, and not for a funeral

Sabrina and I are travelling to Berlin tomorrow to visit a lawyer from the Lawfirm Goebbels and Heydrich. It seems that Sabrina has been named a beneficary in Helena's will, which I hope will be good news. I am hoping Sabrina has been left some money, Helena's Business was worth 12.3 Million euros in 2010, and Sabrina could do with a break, like me she has not been handling Helena's death well at all.

I however am enjoying being back in my native Germany again. It is spring here, and Frankfurt is such a romantic place to be in the spring, I am loving it here. Next time you must join us!

And I hate to be pedantic, but neither I nor sabrina brought labtops or phones with us. Why do you not simply grab photos from my Facebook page like everyone else does!

Ditz

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 8:05 am

Lad gets back to me, and BOI, does he like the smell of money!:

Quote:

MY DEAR WIFE DITZ,

The day that I realized that I loved you,is the day i dream about you and in that dream i found that we like president and his wife,honey i promise you that soon we will be like Obama and his wife,

What I feel for you is that awesome love that poets write about and that we mere mortals only dream of experiencing. It is the love that is considered unconditional and undying; so great that my heart seems to burst with the joy of it. I cannot fathom living my life without you - waking would never be the same without your sweet face to look forward to; I would not be living, just existing; sleeping would be impossible without you to dream of.

How nice it is to have you in my life, you are my everything, and I mean my everything. I still remember the first time we met at face book that day was like i am dreaming and i realized that you are the right person on me at the right time honey; it was like a puppy going home for the first time after being in the pound for days! The long waiting was finally over. When our eyes met or when do you thing we will have our honey moon, it was like I knew from that day on the earth you were the one I would spend the rest of my life with and that is my promise on.

I know we have problems, and everybody does - that means I will not give up on us or you, I love you so damn much! I can't stand being away from you, sleeping without you. Just having you there reassures me that everything will be alright.

You are like God's dove, so beautiful, so pretty, so loving, caring, and that's what I love, the fact that you love me for who I am, not what you want me to become. Thank you, God, for this special woman, you gave me - I can't thank him enough for the love and beauty that I found.

Yes, I know i am going to won and now I'm going to fight for this love to get stronger than ever, and in time it will. Nothing can keep me away from you, not even death, because with death, I bring you with me in my heart and in my soul.

i am very sorry about Helena's buried, and i hope you are okay and i don't want you to have much think i avoid heart attack ok my love please i don't want you to sick ,please my lovely one,
i am still asking you about your pictures and your cell number honey honest speaking i want to hear your voice i really love you my dear wife Ditz and i promise you every time i will spend the rest of my life on you,

once aging honey for the Helena found you told me that is 12.3 million Euro,so please try and secure the found in your bank OK and you know we will have many project one at lest open company ,and invest it in business i really love you and hope my advice is good,

waiting to hear from you soon my dear wife,
yours husband,

PRINCE LAD.

As well as this hunk hunka burnin' love;

Quote:

Hi Honey my wife Ditz,

This letter will seek from your heart a formal request for renovation and consideration of mine as well as a formal request to be placed in the "Space Vacant" in your heart.

Until now, you've leased to the other occupant, for which I have requested you to relocate in my life - but all in vain, without a home. Now that said occupant has vacated the premises, I have therefore decided to rewrite and replace the application again to reconsider me. I hope you will review the facts and accept me on the "Place Vacant Till .

If I were given 3 wishes, I would first ask to wake up in your arms every day for the rest of my life. I want to breathe in the same air you breathe, when you awake to a new day. My second wish would be that I never harm you, disappoint you, or break your heart again. I only want to love you like no one ever has before. My third wish - it really is very simple - is that you would only tell me if you want any of these same things I want.

If possibly you may still love me, and want me with you together to get though life, happy and satisfied. One word from you and I am sure this can be done, because I love you more today then I did before - it just gets stronger with time; it doesn't fade. I will always love you; this much I'm sure of. I wouldn't ask for diamonds, gold or a million dollars. None of that could make me as happy as I would be to just have you in my life once again!

Love always,and nothing will stop me to give you all my soul and my heart,i really love you my wife and giving you % 100000 that i will never disappointed you,till death depart us,i love you my love.

loving you always is something that God has sign,and no one will cancel it,
i love you,
yours lovely one,
PRINCE LAD

Pity then all the money went to Sabrina then. Helena IS her mother after all! ETA: I JUST saw my new custom tag, I EFFING LOVE IT! For once, the truth doesn't hurt! I also send lad this back:

Quote:

Schatzi,

Yes indeed Helena was worth over 12 million euros, but as much as I would like to be worth 12 million euros, I am not. We had the will reading today and I am not surprised to discover that Sabrina inherited the Money, after all Helena is Sabrina's mother. I am only the Aunt. But I am happy schnucki, and Sabrina is still coming to Benin with us. Maybe she can buy your ticket back to Ghana, but we will be celebrating tonight for sure.

When do you and your friends arrive in Benin? Our Arrival date is getting quite close now and I would hate to think that anything will go wrong. Maybe you can email me your details or better still email me when you arrive. Wolfie our Travel agent has worked very hard to make sure our travel plans aren't disrupted. And we will still arrive as scheduled.

Oh schatzi, I am so happy, I could shit! (There's that John Waters quote I love so much) Wink

Ditz

Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 2:45 am

Lade gets back to me, and his entourage seems to be expanding:

Quote:

Hi My Dear Wife Ditz,

My wife Ditz I love you so much. I will always be forever grateful for you. You taught me so much in life. You've helped me through rough times and I could always cry on your shoulder without being judged. You loved me when no one else would. You always came when I asked you to. You were my strength when I was weak and my breath when I couldn't speak. You showed me the right way to love. Even when you didn't want to, you made a friend out of my friends and I knew that you didn't like them, but you did it for me. You asked me if I was okay when something was actually wrong with you. You put my needs before your own.

When you kissed me, I felt like I could fly, but the only flying I did was more in love with you. You inspired me and I truly felt as if I didn't deserve you, but still, even more, you loved me for me. You protect me and guide me, and for that I will be truly grateful (forever) and I just want to say 'Thank You' and I'll always love you.

Today, I want to tell you about how much I love you and think about you: my days and nights are now brighter then anything 'cause I have my Moon on my lap. Yes, Dear, you make me feel extraordinary. I feel myself flying and feel that the world is such a beautiful place now. Thank you so much for your love and your care which you give me every second of my life, and thank you so much for your advice, your prayers and your love for me.

You are an angel of love and kindness. I really adore you and want to give your my hearty feelings. I want to give you a special prayer: God bless you and may you live long." No one can take your place. And listen, I'm here for you every second of my life with lots of love and best wishes.I've never felt this kind of love since I've found you. I feel so lucky - the luckiest girl ever in the world because you made me happy all the time. When I'm with you, I feel so secure in your

feel so warm with your embrace and feel so great. Thank you so much for being there with me all the time. Thank you for everything, Ditz. I have no words to say and I'm out of words because I don't know how to thank you. Thank you for loving me and thank you for accepting me for who I am. You're my everything and you're my new world! I love you for being you and I love you for what you are.

Honey once aging i have to let you know that i will come with three elders and one two woman ,but please my love i need this i am always asking of you,please you know i have no money with you och,
so please i need some money so that i will use it and transport them to Benin OK my love i need some money OK,remember we don't need to west time any more OK,

my love you my lovely wife Ditz,thanks once aging
yours lovely husband,

PRINCE LAD

well, one good email deserves another. I send this back:

Quote:

Lad,

"but please my love i need this i am always asking of you,please you know i have no money with you och,
so please i need some money so that i will use it and transport them to Benin OK my love i need some money"

Yes you are beginning to sound like a broken record on this matter. I have said it before and I will say this again since it seems to bear repeating. I CANNOT pay you in advance and this is a deal breaker regardless of how many people you bring with you. I am a deeply superstitious woman and will not break with tradition. I am more than happy to re-imburse you, but NOT in advance

I will be bringing just the Minister for the ceremony, as well as Sabrina who has decided to bring a lot of money to party in Benin with. and again, please tell sabrina about the labtop as I know so little about them.

I will see you on May 12th. I am so excited schnucki. I am so happy, I could shit!

Ditz

and just to get the lad off his fat lazy ass, Chris gets back to him as well:

Quote:

So, smallboi,

The race is on now eh? Now remember, I'm the local and I can WALK to the airport from my place. You'd better get there good and early if you wanna beat me to meeting Ditz at the airport. And we both know you won't do it will you yahoo yahoo boi.

I can't wait for my payday, thanks for giving it to me

One love,

Chris

Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 2:24 pm

lad gets back, and he's piling on the cash requests, he also forwards me chris's email TWICE!:

Quote:

I CANNOT pay you in advance and this is a deal breaker regardless of how many people you bring with you. I am a deeply superstitious woman and will not break with tradition. I am more than happy to re-imburse you, but NOT in advance

HI MY WIFE,
HOW ARE YOU DOING HOPE EVERY THING IS COOL,
PLEASE I READ YOUR MAIL AND VERY NOTED,
PLEASE MY DEAR I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT NOTHING I CAN DO WITH OUT YOUR ASSISTANT ON ME MEANS A LOT OK,

1 ) YOU KNOW SOME ONE IS TREATING MY LIFE ,
2 ) AND YOU KNOW WHAT I ASK YOU AS A HELP IS VERY IMPORTANT,
WHICH YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY,

THE ONLY ONE I HAVE I AM USING IT TO BE PREPARING MY SELF SO PLEASE YOU HELP ME WITH SOME FUND THERE OK,FORGET THAT WHAT YOU ARE MAKING AS STATEMENT THAT IS A DEAL I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU,I KNOW EVERY BODY HAVE TRADITIONAL BUT TRY TO UNDERSTAND SOME EACH OTHER FELLING OK MY LOVE,and one more thing you have your own tradition and i have,

i have to ask you this i know that we are seeing each other on picture but i am telling you that is not all ok,yes my name is prince lad,and you have seeing my only pic on face book,and yours too but i want to let you know that is not all ok,

you cannot tell me that a person that you are going to have marriage with you have not hear the persons voice and you have not see the person on cam which this is what we suppose to been doing since but now what is in your mind is only to be in Benin ,

honey i have to be honest to you that i have to see you on cam and i need to call you on phone ok,if you have tradition and your tradition said that you should not talk to your husband on phone or to let your husband t see you on cam or your new pictures please let them know that is not how my traditional is ok,

once aging tell this thief that he should stop treating my life,and i cant made up my mind to leave you to him so that he will scam you as he said and killed you as he said but not me he will do that OK,
please honey read my mind and understand me well ok,

i love you and promise to spend the rest of my life on you my dear lovely wife,
yours one,
PRINCE LAD

I couldn't resist. I have serious doubts this sack of crap will travel now, but I couldn't resist piling it on thick. Bolding is mine:

Quote:

Dear Lad,

After reading all of this, it has become clear that you are NOT the man I thought you were. Chris had told me you would continue to ask me for money, that you would disrespect my traditions and treat me like dirt. Unlike Chris respects my German traditions, and as I have mentioned before he even speaks a small amount of German. I know you are going through a rough patch but so is Chris. Yet he has agreed to travel to Benin. He has even forwarded me his e-ticket like Sabrina helped me to do to you.

Unlike you, Chris has made connections with Sabrina and has spoken to me on her phone. You have not made the effort, I have asked Sabrina. I want to be with you Lad, you are the one I want to spend my days with, yet you mock my belief system and continually ask for money despite my numerous attempts to explain why I cannot before I reach Benin. You say I am obsessed with Benin, well of course I am! I am travelling half way around the world to meet the ones I love! I am getting married in one of the most beautiful safari camps on the planet, of course I'm excited!

Chris has also denied writing to you more than once and I have seen no proof so far that he has ever done so. Maybe you could forward me his emails...

Ditz

Oops, that's gotta be annoying! Later this morning Chris will explain (yet again), that he's "hacked" into the Ditz's email account

Edited to add: Lad dumps me:

Quote:

HI HONEY I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE DREAM ABOUT YOU KNEW THAT YOU HAVE MADE UP YOUR MIND TO MARRY ANOTHER PERSON NOT ME OK,
SO PLEASE I WILL LIKE TO HAVE MY MIND REST AS YOU FUND SOME ONE IN beautiful safari camps on the planet, of course I'm excited! SO PLEASE I WILL LIKE YOU TO FOLLOW YOUR ADVICES OK ,

AND I KNOW I DON'T HAVE ANY WOMAN IN MY LIFE AND I HAVE NO BODY IN MY LIFE,I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DITZ,BUT I HAVE TO BE CON FACE ON YOU NOW THAT YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME OK,AND ONE MORE THING I ASK YOU YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND YOUR PICTURES,BUT WHAT YOU ARE HERE TO BE WRITING TO ME ABOUT CHRIS AND WHO AGING,LISTING YOU WANT ME TO FOLLOW YOUR INSTRUCTION AND YOU DON'T WANT TO FOLLOW MINE,

MEANS YOU DON'T LOVE ME AND YOU DON'T WANT TO MARRY ME,
THANKS AND LET GOD BLESS YOU AND GUILD YOU WHEN YOU ARE HAVING YOU WEEDING WITH CHRIS BUT ALL I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT,
YOU WILL LETTER COME BACK TO ME,AND I KNOW AM THE RIGHT PERSON ON YOU AT THE RIGHT TIME,
GOD IS MY WITTINESS,

I LOVE YOU MY HEAR AND HAPPINESS I OUT IN MY LIFE FLYING AROUND IN THE WORLD,I KNOW IS PAINFUL ,
GOOD BUY AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF AND CHRIS,
YOURS ONE PRINCE LAD,

I send this back:

Quote:

Lad,

I had LONG ago decided to marry you otherwise I would not be writing to you! But you CONTINUALLY try to circumvent my beliefs which are part of my very soul. I would never dream of trying to do this to you, yet you do this to me time and time again! Why is it that you do this? You have never stated why you wish to circumvent my beliefs except that you need money. If that is the case, then you are NOT able to support a woman in marriage and your advice would be correct. I need a man that can stand on his own two feet, and I thought a businessman such as yourself could be such a man. Yet your constant requests for money show that you cannot stand on your own two feet. Maybe you have something to hide. Is your business broke? Are you using me to try and get extra funds for your business?

You don't want me for me, and yet to prove my love, I am travelling 12,000 MILES to be with you! I often wonder if you would do the same for me, if I were to ask the same of you! You say in your (admittedly beautifully written) poetry you would do anything for me, yet you disprove this time and time again...

I must confess that while I still have feelings for Chris, it's YOU that I want Lad, yet you make it so hard for me. I have so many wonderful plans for us, to see the world, to experience all life has to offer, to be all you can be! Yet you make it plain you do not wish to be part of that. I cannot understand why Chris finds it so easy yet you find it so difficult, that is all schatzi. You are a businessman, yet you never seem to have any money, again I find this difficult to comprehend.

As I have said, I have seen nothing that indicates that Chris has ever written to you, but if it will make you feel better, I will ask again for him to stop writing to you.

Ditz

Looks like it might be bait's end, but it was fun while it lasted. At least i don't have to put up with his entourage, and I GUARANTEE Chris will have something to say in the afternoon

Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 5:48 pm

Seems lad is not willing to give up on me quite yet:

Quote:

MY WIFE DITZ,

My darling, sweet Ditz... where do I begin? I've written you a million of these letters that you have hidden in a drawer somewhere. I'm sure this will make a great addition....

As always, I want to start by saying thank you. I tell you a million times a day, each day, that I love you and that you mean the world to me. Although you reciprocate these feelings, I'm sure you have no inkling on the magnitude of exactly what they mean to me.

You walked into my life a stranger a mere 8 months ago and my life hasn't been the same since. You are TRULY my gift from a higher power. LOVE is such a miniscule word for what we share. You are SO amazing. You appeared when I was at such a low point in my existence. A time when I thought that the physical and emotional pain brought on by another would never end and would wear away at every fiber of my being until it consumed me and I was no more. During the moments I tried to turn away for fear of the unknown, you planted your heels and looked deep in my soul and stayed. You compromised your life and your goals to help me survive... and I am eternally indebted to you. Without you... I would not be.

You have become a beacon to me. Whenever I feel as though I've drifted too far into the disparity that clouds my life, I can look up to find you guiding me to safety. I stay here not because this place is home... but because YOU are home.

After all that's happened to me in the past 3 years, I swore to God, and the moon, and to you that I would never settle again and that I would never give my heart and my life completely to another. With great content and zero disparity... I take it back.

Most people will spend their entire lives searching for a perfection that almost never exists. Most people will spend their days looking at each person they encountered with question as to whether or not they have found a reason, a season or a lifetime. With you, angry Johnny *wink*, I have found an eternity. You... this... here is where I am meant to be. You are what my entire life has led up to. You are my very best wife not only best mean that you are my lat and end of my wife, my lover, my protector, my teacher and my absolute soul mate.

I give my life to you: mind, body and soul. I will you to hold me for the rest of my life as you do each and every day and night.honey i don't know what to say to you to understand it,please my really lovely wife Ditz,do as i told you yes i know i am a business man and know aging that you have planing a good future in our life,honey i have to con face on you that i really love you as my wife ,and i decided to spend the rest of my life with you,

my dear wife Ditz please you have to be careful for your advisers to afford them to make you to regret ok my love,please call me on my phone number which you have it,and once aging go and ask any person that you know that a man that you want to marry that you have not sate your eyes on him,so please my lovely one,

call me and i need to see you OK,if you like take Chris advice or who ever you like all i know is that my world is my world OK,
i love you my really one,

I belong to you every time every day,

your lovely one,

PRINCE LAD,

ETA: Lad is ALSO sucking up to the Ditz on Farcebook. More soon, once I work out where I'm taking this

Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 9:38 am

Lad gets an email, from his arch nemesis Chris:

Quote:

Well small boi, I love your emails to Ditz, especially the bits you wrote in my name! Of course, she'll never see them, but they made me laugh. So, you coming to Benin??? I'll make you a deal if you do. You can have the Housewife, I'm going after the niece. With access to `12 million euros (and being 21) I think I'll have a crack at her.

If you see me at the airport picking up your payday, why not say hi!

Chris

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 1:13 am

Lad forwards the message Chris sends him with the subject heading:

Quote:

Re: see what your husband chris is writting to m ok,is not my furt,

I send him this back along with "Chris's message", which is simply "Nice try, smallboi":

Quote:

Schatzi,

I have read what he has written, but I do not know what this means. Was íst dás "Smallboi"? I will ask that Chris stops writing to you as you requested.

We have been very busy here in Berlin and to be honest I can't wait to retiurn to Frankfurt. Sabrina has spent a lot of time at the law firm Goebbels and Heydrich signing a lot of paperwork in relation to her inheritance. I have been spending a lot of time shopping since I don't know anyone in Berlin, I will certainly break the 20kg rule when I return to Frankfurt at the end of June.

But the main reason I write is that Wolfie our travel agent has gotten in touch and our flight details have changed, and I have attached the new details. We still arrive on the 12th of May, but we now arrive at 7.20pm and not 10.20pm. I have attached the details so you can meet me at the airport.

I am so happy I could shit! See you Saturday night!

Ditz

I attached a screen grab of flight details from Frankfurt via expedia.com.au. Hopefully he'll bite, but since this asshole's so lazy, I have serious doubts he'll travel. But if he DOES, well WHAT a birthday pressie that'd be Wink

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 3:14 pm

I din't notice, 'cos I forget to check, but laddo wrote to Sabrina as well. Seems he wants her to get Chris out of the Ditz's life:

Quote:

hi dear sister Sabrina,
i am Writing this mail to let you know what me and your sister Kathrin discus,so now please she said that i should let you know the type of laptop you will buy so please i chose Apple laptop or Toshiba laptop,
so please they is another thing thing i ask you aunt to help me but she don't want OK and i don't know what to do,and let this Guy know that i can leave your sister to marry for me to secure my life,his name is CHRIS,tell him that he should stop writing me mail ok,i have no business with him,so please advice your sister for what i ask her OK i know she is my wife and what i am asking her is for my own Good and her OK,
i miss you my dear Sabrina,
your in law,
PRINCE MEKEA,

I LOVE how he spelt his own name wrong AGAIN! I send this back:

Quote:

Mate,

I hear ya on the lappy. Apple's a piece of shit though, I wouldn't go near it. Yeah I know you can have both windows and Mac software but there's one thing Mac users can't do that windows users can... And that's shut the fuck up! Alienware, that's the go mate, especially if you're a gamer like me.

And leave Chris to me, he's been writing heaps lately, ever since we got to Germany. But if you want to me to write to him and say leave emeka the fuck alone, well fairy's muff mate!

We'll talk again when we get to Benin. What they asking for on a Toshiba nowadays?

Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 3:43 am

In RL, I haven't been online since Wednesday. Lad sends this, bolding is mine:

Quote:

hello my wife Ditz,

hi honey i am very happy to hear from you once aging,
how are you and i know our almighty God is with us,
please my love what this guy is writing on me shows tell me why is treating me darling,
please my love i am still telling you that you have to help me urgent i have try my best here to do some thing which you know that i don't have any thing left on me,

so please my love,
what you will do now that will make me to be happy now is only to send me money to see my friends and people that will follow me there so please help me with that now tomorrow ok,you are my wife and i know delve is at work (WTF??? Who the hell is Delve???) but nothing he will do,please my love what i need now to solve all the problem now is only 50 Euro now so that my people will be there and i will use some on my things that i will use come there OK,

honey i love you and i promise you i will be there with you and spend the rest of my life on you as my lovely wife honey,and please make me happy ok,
thanks and God bless you my darling,
yours one,
PRINCE LAD

He hasn't been online since, does that mean he's travelling??? I send him a fishing email:

Quote:

Schatzi,

I am here, where are you? I will give you whatever you need when you arrive!

Ditz

Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 9:35 am

lad gets back to me, IP Addy: Ghana. Lad was too lazy to travel:

Quote:

hi my dear wife Ditz,
how are you doing over there i am very happy that you have arrive in Benin and hope you are ok,
i receiver your mail today which i noted it that you have arrived so please my love i don't want to hurt you or disappointed you jut to follow my instruction ,listing my love i want to let you know that you have my phone number so what you will do is to call my phone number which you have it +<snipped>please call me and let me hear your voice and what ever you need from me i will do it ,and i told you that my friends want to be there so ,how can i take this so what you will do now if you are read to let me come then call me on my phone so that we will have some conversation,
i love you and i have made up my mind to spend the rest of my life on you ,

yours husband,
PRINCE LAZY TURD,

The Ditz is NOT happy he's still in Ghana. Under the Subject heading of "I am SO hurt you are not here by my side", I send this back:

Quote:

Lad,

I have no phone, I was planning on you giving me advice on what to get and how to use it. But there is no point since you have no intentions of ever meeting me. You're still in Ghana aren't you... I should've known you weren't the man I thought you were. You SAID you would be here, I've traveled half way around the world to be with you and you are too spineless to travel a few hundred kilometres.

I must go lie down now, I have spent the last day crying my eyes out over the fact you aren't here. i think I may have a drink or two

Right now, I hate you Lad

Ditz

yeah you bastard, you failed on my birthday present Wink

edited for typos Embarassed

419Eater is my life Joined: 18 Jan 2010 Posts: 357

That incredible bastard!! How DARE he jilt such a respectable woman, who has sacrificed so much, in the name of love, to be with him!! FOR SHAME!!! That goat f**king drunk!!!!
;p

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 4:58 am

Thank you Boofles, that made me laugh, and welcome to eater btw. Pull up a pew, grab some popcorn and enjoy the murky world of romance baiting.

In the meantime, lad gets back to me with the subject header "HONEY IS NOT MY FURT IS YOURS OK,". I guarantee it won't be. he's also stolen more crap from the net:

Quote:

Hi my love wife Kathrin,
I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me and let yourself believe in me again and in my love for you. I know I don't make things easy for you. I get scared of my overwhelming feelings for you and I run, but my heart always brings me back to you. I love you. Forgive me and I will never leave your side again.

I feel like this is the story of our relationship. I hate arguing with you; I hate hearing that pain-filled tone of your voice, or feeling your cold shoulder when I brush past just to get a hint of your scent. I'm not naturally an angry person; you know that from when you first met me.

Since the day we met, I've grown so deeply in love with you. Day by day, my love for you becomes so overwhelming till I can't handle it when I don't see or talk to you for even one day! You make me feel wonderful. You give me strength when I just can't carry on. You make me smile and laugh a lot and I truly treasure that.

I apologize straight from the heart for ignoring and being rude to you whenever you make an attempt to make me feel better when we're done quarreling. You are a very patient man, and I thank you for that. I don't ever want to take advantage of your patience, not ever. I know I over react a lot, and I'm sorry.

You are the most wonderful thing that has EVER happened to me. I thought that I would never find a love that is as strong as yours before. But now that we've found each other, I've changed my mind. You are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, the person I want to get married to, the person I want to have kids with, and the person whom I want to grow old with. Baby, you complete me. You make my life so brilliant and I don't know how else to repay you but to love, care and support you more and more. You're the star in my sky - the one and only star. You make me feel beautiful, very beautiful. Thank you for giving me your all.

I can never imagine how it would be like if we were to lose each other. I don't even want to think of it, Baby. All I want to think of is you. You are the love of my life. May God bless your beautiful soul. From the bottom of my heart, I love you.

Please my lovely wife Kathrin can you just do this if you dont have phone to call me then you have to come to Ghana and meet me or you call me on phone ok,please think about this how can i come to Benin with at any address or any phone i will use to been reaching to the person i am coming to meet honey is not proper ok,

please my wife don't hate me i am your husband ok and i know were ever you are now you are feeling lonely as i am feeling now every night thinking of you honey don't worry we will have our wedding ok and nothing will stop us ok,

so what you will do now call me on phone or send me the money i ask you so that i will come with my friends and an elder man and woman according to there tradition here ok my love,hope you understand me will,
thanks and let the Angel of God protect you and my spirit will be there with you always,

YOURS LOVELY HUSBAND ,
PRINCE EMEKA.
<snippo>

The Ditz is NOT happy about that! And she makes it clear:

Quote:

How DARE you say it is MY fault. I have no phone, and am in another country because of you. Let me assure you MR MAN, you won't get a fucking cent out of me while your lazy ass is still in Ghana. I am here until June 30th, if you join me here, I will re-assess my views on you. Right now, I am so hurt and angry, I just cry myself to sleep and drink bubbly. Dr Williams from the camp has been doing his best to comfort me, but it simply not the same without the man I love, the man who isn't even willing to meet the woman he claims to love in a nearby country, despite the fact she has travelled from Sydney to Frankfurt to Benin to be with him.

You have no idea how upset I am. I'm going back to the bubbly now...

Ditz

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 6:28 am

Oops, I meant to drop the name of , not the guy who plays him. I have to hunt down the good doc and see if he'll help me out:

Quote:

hi my lovely wife,
i am very happy to hear from you once aging,
and letting you know that i am in my right to tell you what you ever ok,one you ask Dr Williams that if it is him that some one is coming to marry him and he has not seat his eye to that woman and the woman came to another country tell him to meet him over there with out any contact number only on mail with out seeing each other only on mail,please my dear one i want to let you know that i am the right person on you at the right time means i really love you as my lovely wife,if you can help me today before 1hur and get me Dr.Williams phone number so that if i call him then i will reach you there with his phone number and i will talk to you ok my love so please try and get me his phone number ok,
yours husband,
PRINCE LAD

I'll write back in a sec (As Sabrina), and buy me some time. LANGUAGE WARNING:

Quote:

Lad,

What the hell have you done to my Aunt??? Well I know not travelling was one of them, but instead of crying her eyes out she's now really pissed at you! we're still at this shitty Safari Camp though I for one am planning my escape. There's not a single nightclub! For f*ck's sake, I'm only 22, where's the hot african man meat! The staff here are all from overseas and I ache for a real city, not some f*cking piece of dirt with a hut on it. I can't even get a signal on the mobile phone (and I use the term phone loosely), I got in Benin Airport. F*ck I HATE this place, and I've been here less than a week. A whole MONTH here F*CK NO!!!

Mate, I don't know where you're from, but if the love of your life travels half way round the world to meet you, then I'd bend heaven and hell to meet her half way! And you only got to go to a couple of countries along. And you can't do it? What are you a man or a dickless mouse!

I know you're not gonna like what I have to say, but mate when you f*ck with my Aunt you f*ck with me too! you may be from some backwater sh*thole where women are still treated like sh*t, but we're not! We come from Germany! And they're now one of the most forward thinking country in the world especially when it comes to women's rights. You want in on the family, you gotta meet us halfway on this.

I know you're strapped for cash, look let's face it, you're not REALLY a businessman are you! Just some punk that wants a bit of white meat attached to his cock! Look I get that, I want a bit of black meat attached to my pussy! So get your ass over here and we'll fuck off from this "camp" together! And once you get here, we'll party like it's 1999, Ditz will forget all her problems and we can get out this f*cking safari camp sh*thole and back to a real city!

I'll make you a deal. You get here under your own steam and I'll pay back what ever you spend. But the kicker is, I won't tell Ditz, so she'll pay you back as well, thus giving you more money to spend around.

I've been told there's a phone in the main office but it's only for enquiries. I'll see if I can get you the number and get back to you. You'd better be willing to come get us, this place is a f*cking hole and I need to go shopping!

'Niece

Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 1:26 pm

Lads promised to travel, but he's done that before:

Quote:

HI MY DARLING WIFE DITZ,
I AM VERY SO SORRY FOR HOW YOU ARE FEELING,
I RECEIVE SABRINA MAIL TODAY AND I AM VERY SOCK IN A WAY THAT YOU MAY THINK I AM HURTING YOU,

PLEASE I AM NOT HURTING YOU OK,WHAT I NEED IS ONLY ADDRESS AND YOU KNOW I HAVE NOT BE THERE BEFORE SO PLEASE MY LOVELY WIFE I NEED CONTACT ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER SO THAT I WILL CALL YOU AND LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM COMING OK

,PLEASE MY LOVE ,REMEMBER MY SITUATION OVER HERE WHICH YOU ARE ONLY PERSON KNOWS AS MY LOVELY WIFE OK,SO PLEASE MY WIFE TRY AND GET ME NUMBER OR YOU CAN GO TO PHONE BOOT TO CALL ME SO THAT I WILL KNOW WERE I WILL STOP OK,
I LOVE YOU AND ALSO MISSING YOU SO MUCH I KNOW YOU ARE THERE LONELY ,
I LOVE YOU ,
YOURS LOVELY GUY,
PRINCE LAD,
<snippo>

Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 1:31 pm

The Good doc will see what he can do. In the meantime lad gets back to Sabrina, and claims he can be there in three hours if he can get a phone number:

Quote:

HI MY DEAR SABRINA,
I AM VERY HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU AND VERY SORRY FOR HURTING YOUR SISTER,
PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP OK,IN ONE CONDITION ,
LISTING WHAT I DISCUS WITH YOUR AUNT WHICH I KNOW SHE IS MY WIFE AND I REALLY LOVE HER AND I PROMISE HER THAT I WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ON HER,OK NOW LISTING I TOLD YOUR AUNT TO CALL ME OR PROVIDE ME ANY AVAILABLE PHONE NUMBER WHICH I WILL USE AND CALLED HER OR YOU,I KNOW HOW SHE IS FEELING ME AND I KNOW SHE WILL FINDING IT THAT I AM HURTING HER.

SO PLEASE MY DEAR HELP ME ADVICE YOUR AUNT,YES I HAVE D SIDED TO BE THERE BUT NO CONTACT ADDRESS AND I TOLD HER WHAT IF I CAME TO BENIN AND HOW CAN I SEE HER AND HOW CAN SHE KNOW THAT AM THERE TRY TO UNDERSTAND MY FEELING,PLEASE MY DEAR SABRINA I AM NOT HURTING YOUR AUNT OK SHE IS THE ONE THAT HURTING ME OK,PLEASE LET HER KNOW THAT I AM CRYING MORE THAN HER HERE BECAUSE SHE HAS MADE ME TO REMEMBER WHAT I AM PASSING TROUGH OK,YES I DO LOVE HER AND I KNOW SHE IS MY DARLING AND SWEETHEART AND I KNOW THAT SHE IS THE ONLY ONE I WILL GIVE ALL MY LIFE AND PROMISE TO BE MAKING HER HAPPY EVERY TIME EVERY DAY,PLEASE MY DEAR SABRINA HELP ME LET YOUR SISTER THAT IF I GET HER CALL IN 1HUR OR GET THE NUMBER I WILL USE AND CALLED HER SO THAT SHE WILL HEAR MY VOICE SO THAT SHE WILL BELIEVER AM THERE FOR HER,

YES FOR WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT MY BUSINESS YES I AMA BUSINESS GUY WHICH I TOLD YOUR AUNT EVERY THING CONCERN MY BUSINESS AND ABOUT MY SELF BUT RIGHT NOW I AM FINDING IT DIFFICULT ON ME WHICH IF I DID NOT HAVE ATTACK WITH CRIMINALS THEM TOOL I DON'T THINK I WILL BE SEEING MY SELF IN THIS CONDITION SO PLEASE MY LOVE GIRL TELL HER TO CALL ME OR LET HER GIVE ME THE NUMBER THAT I WILL USE AND CALLED OK,
I LOVE YOU AUNT AND ALSO YOU SABRINA,

THANKS ONCE AGING IF I GET THE CALL OR ANY NUMBER THAT I WILL USE AND CONTACT HER IF I AM COMING THEN YOU WILL SEE ME THERE IN 3HUR TIM,
YOURS LOVELY GUY,

PRINCE LAD

I send this back:

Quote:

Emeka,

I looked into it, and I even asked that so called Dr Williams (who needs a doctor after I beat the fuck out of him. Hit on me will he! Anyway, the owner is a guy called and his contact details are here, icluding the phone numbers Kathrin used to get in touch in the first place

<snipped, but a link from the S1mba site>

Let's get the f*ck out of here!!!

Sabrina

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