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BearSeason
Elite Baiter
Joined: 19 Jun 2011
Posts: 1066
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Posted:
Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:01 pm |
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You mention them on this forum and they call you. Some poor bastard in India made the mistake of calling me and Mr. BearSeason this morning and left a voicemail saying he was from a law firm seeking to collect on an unpaid loan. We've been getting these calls on and off for about a year. Up until now, we've just ignored them but, this time, we decided, "Fuck it, let's have some fun." So, we called him back on my Google Voice account. Unfortunately, the record function on my computer only picked up my voice, so I'll just transcribe the call from what I have, plus memory. Enjoy!
BearSeason: Hello, I was told to call this number.
Asshole Scammer: Yes?
BS: I was told to call this number.
AS: What is your name ma'am?
BS: Who is this?
AS: This is [Generic Law Firm Name I Can't Remember]. I am an attorney-
BS: An attorney?!
AS: Yes, ma'am I am an attoney-
BS: What attorney?!
AS: Ma'am, I am an attorney-
BS: WHAT ATTORNEY?!
Mr.BS: TRACE THE CALL!
AS: Ma'am, what is your reason for calling?
BS: You called this number.
AS: Ma'am, what is your name?
Mr.BS: Get the Captain, NOW!
BS: Who is this?!
AS: My name is [inaudible].
BS: What?!
AS: My name is Kevin Hoffman.
BS: Kevin Hoffman... He's says his name's Kevin Hoffman...
Mr.BS: Run the name Kevin Hoffman!
AS: Ma'am what is going on?
BS: I'm asking the questions, pal!
Mr.BS: HE'S OUR GUY!
BS: ARE YOU SURE?!
Mr.BS: See for yourself!
BS: Sir, are you aware that you called a police station?
AS: [pause] Ma'am what is your name?
BS: And are you aware that you are the prime suspect in a series of murders in this jurisdiction?
AS: [long pause] Ma'am can you tell me you name?
BS: What kind of murderer calls a police station?
AS: This is a law firm.
BS: What kind of murderer works at a law firm?!
CLICK!
ETA: He just left the exact same message on the voicemail again, so I called him back and just meowed repeatedly. It didn't take nearly as long for him to hang up this time!
ETA (Again): And his phone number just got e-mailed to about a thousand guymen. Oops! |
_________________ THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT WE ARE DONE WITH ALL THIS YOUR CHILD'S PLAY...PLEASE IT IS ENOUGH. - Jeff
i can believe that all this will be happened to me why me why me / all my future had scatted - Rechel
you are a man that did not go to the four wall of any school at all. - Attorney Sarah Nan
U 2 go fuck yourself ! I don't need the money and stop emailing me please / BASTARD!!!! / fuck ur family
<a href="/forum/donate.php">Where all the cool kids are.</a>
x 47 x 2 x 2 |
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BearSeason
Elite Baiter
Joined: 19 Jun 2011
Posts: 1066
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Posted:
Sun Dec 18, 2011 3:16 am |
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Got another message on the voicemail from my new bff, today. This time, I decided to call back after-hours so I would get his voicemail. I read the first chapter of Pride and Prejudice to him. I hope it's one of those voicemail systems that makes you wait until the end of the message before you can delete it. I figure, I can do one chapter for each message he leaves. Maybe we'll get through the entire book.
Then I sent out this mass-ASEM:
Quote: |
I have the $1,250 you need to sign the documentation over to me so that I can be named the next of kin to Mr. Julian XXXX. I just need to know where to send it. I will be away from my desk all day, tomorrow, so I won't be able to check my e-mail. However, if you call my office, my personal assistant will get the details from you and forward them to me. He speaks with a heavy Indian accent and can be difficult to understand sometimes so you may have to repeat yourself several times. The number is 202-XXX-XXXX. Make sure you call during our business hours, 8am-5pm EST. If you get our voicemail, leave a message and my assistant will get back to you. Thank you very much for choosing me to work with you on this. |
Happy holidays, you scamming, theiving asshole. |
_________________ THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT WE ARE DONE WITH ALL THIS YOUR CHILD'S PLAY...PLEASE IT IS ENOUGH. - Jeff
i can believe that all this will be happened to me why me why me / all my future had scatted - Rechel
you are a man that did not go to the four wall of any school at all. - Attorney Sarah Nan
U 2 go fuck yourself ! I don't need the money and stop emailing me please / BASTARD!!!! / fuck ur family
<a href="/forum/donate.php">Where all the cool kids are.</a>
x 47 x 2 x 2 |
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Morgain Le Fay
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Oct 2010
Posts: 5800
Location: Taking my new .38 special to the range
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Posted:
Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:49 pm |
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Doesn't pay to piss you off!!!
Pride and Prejudice! Between that and meowing they must think they are dealing with a crazy person! Love it! |
_________________ X42
Nash and 6 friends 488 Km within Ghana - bait with Agda (2012)
Safari Philip Ghana-Benin (bait w/Agda) 2013
x5
.edu's 260 reported
Click here to support 419Eater.com
US Dropbox
"You people are all Junks" - Miss E. Kabx
"Maybe you are insane as your so called sat..." Barrister Insane
The website below is available for Eater folks to use.
Film & Production Needs |
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Agent1002
419Eater is my life
Joined: 11 Feb 2010
Posts: 442
Location: USA
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Posted:
Sun Dec 18, 2011 10:32 pm |
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Save your voice. Go to Project Gutenberg and pick up a nice audio book. A Little Princess is a good start for a shorter one. Les Miserables is a longer one. Get all the chapters and play them in or out of sequence.
If you want Pride and Prejudice, it is in the catalog. http://librivox.org/pride-and-prejudice-by-jane-austen/ |
_________________ X5 2 piggies in my first batch of 4 baits.
Magic Jack phones :
you have to answer this questions because seem that you are playing with this organisation from money order to generator, please we do not like stories and playing at the moment.
Internet Security Team
Agent 1002 |
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BearSeason
Elite Baiter
Joined: 19 Jun 2011
Posts: 1066
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Posted:
Sun Dec 18, 2011 10:47 pm |
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^^ Meh, I'm ok with reading it myself. I love P&P. It's one of my favorite books. The opportunity to read it to someone, even a low-life scamming piece of shit, is like relaxation therapy.
@Morgain: To quote Family Guy, "I didn't start this war but IT'S ON!" |
_________________ THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT WE ARE DONE WITH ALL THIS YOUR CHILD'S PLAY...PLEASE IT IS ENOUGH. - Jeff
i can believe that all this will be happened to me why me why me / all my future had scatted - Rechel
you are a man that did not go to the four wall of any school at all. - Attorney Sarah Nan
U 2 go fuck yourself ! I don't need the money and stop emailing me please / BASTARD!!!! / fuck ur family
<a href="/forum/donate.php">Where all the cool kids are.</a>
x 47 x 2 x 2 |
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BearSeason
Elite Baiter
Joined: 19 Jun 2011
Posts: 1066
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Posted:
Tue Dec 20, 2011 1:09 am |
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Another day, another message from our Indian lawyer friend. He says since we haven't called him back (hehe), he's now "downloading" a warrent for our arrest.
I didn't feel like being particularly creative this time, so I just turned the speakers on my computer all the way up and played a wav file of an air horn into the phone. Crude, I know. I'll make up for it tonight with chapter 2 of P&P. |
_________________ THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT WE ARE DONE WITH ALL THIS YOUR CHILD'S PLAY...PLEASE IT IS ENOUGH. - Jeff
i can believe that all this will be happened to me why me why me / all my future had scatted - Rechel
you are a man that did not go to the four wall of any school at all. - Attorney Sarah Nan
U 2 go fuck yourself ! I don't need the money and stop emailing me please / BASTARD!!!! / fuck ur family
<a href="/forum/donate.php">Where all the cool kids are.</a>
x 47 x 2 x 2 |
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Morgain Le Fay
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Oct 2010
Posts: 5800
Location: Taking my new .38 special to the range
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Posted:
Tue Dec 20, 2011 1:18 am |
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^^^ I have a link to a soundboard with lots of airport and airplane sounds. Turn that up!
http://www.soundboard.com/sb/Airport_sounds.aspx
Just pull up the link and play one of the sounds LOUDLY. And you can play one right after the other. No need to pay 99 cents for it. |
_________________ X42
Nash and 6 friends 488 Km within Ghana - bait with Agda (2012)
Safari Philip Ghana-Benin (bait w/Agda) 2013
x5
.edu's 260 reported
Click here to support 419Eater.com
US Dropbox
"You people are all Junks" - Miss E. Kabx
"Maybe you are insane as your so called sat..." Barrister Insane
The website below is available for Eater folks to use.
Film & Production Needs |
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BearSeason
Elite Baiter
Joined: 19 Jun 2011
Posts: 1066
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Posted:
Tue Dec 20, 2011 3:06 am |
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Swert! Thanks! This guy probably really hates me by now. Or he would if he only knew who the hell I was. |
_________________ THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT WE ARE DONE WITH ALL THIS YOUR CHILD'S PLAY...PLEASE IT IS ENOUGH. - Jeff
i can believe that all this will be happened to me why me why me / all my future had scatted - Rechel
you are a man that did not go to the four wall of any school at all. - Attorney Sarah Nan
U 2 go fuck yourself ! I don't need the money and stop emailing me please / BASTARD!!!! / fuck ur family
<a href="/forum/donate.php">Where all the cool kids are.</a>
x 47 x 2 x 2 |
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basts child
Elite Baiter
Joined: 03 Aug 2011
Posts: 1318
Location: confusing the shit out of my spam filter
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Posted:
Thu Apr 05, 2012 7:38 am |
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Oh Dear Lord I'm Laughing so hard at this! Sorry to necro. Hell no I'm not! I have a bill collector demanding payments on a set of encyclopedias I never bought! I've tried logic, reason, now I'm trying reading to them!
I'll say I will listen to them if they hear me out completely. |
_________________ x9 x2 X24 X138 x3 x2 x2 x4 X2 X3 x5 x11 x2 X4 X12 x10 x3 x2 2 Antigua flag needed
x 15
for my Lagos,Nigeria to Parakou,Benin Lad Senator Anyim Pius
~okay yes i we be mayonaise for you~
THE WESTERN UNION MUST GIVE YOU A PEPPER AS A RECEIPT. IF THEY GAVE YOU THIS CONFIRMATION PEPPER THEN ATTACH IT AND SEND IT TO ME OKAY.
'rooms are fully air-Conditional' Air, get while it lasts!
~ANCIENT, not old!~ Says Basts Child! |
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