"I don't understand"

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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:00 am

Last night I had two chats going at once. One was with a Lad who'd promised a written agreement: the other claims to be a 71-year-old WU manager in Benin. Both are chat veterans (sorta).

Lad 1: hello
Mal: Yes?
Lad 1: i have get it now
Lad 1: i want to send it
Lad 1: so you say it
Mal: Sure.
Mal: Waiting.
Lad 1: i have send you
Lad 1: to see it
Mal: Whoah, hold it. When did I agree to be your gorram foster father?
Lad 1: you say
Lad 1: ok
Lad 1: have you see it
Mal: Yes, and I have issues.
Lad 1: so
Lad 1: his ok
Lad 1: with u
Mal: No it isn't.
Lad 1: yes
Mal: I never said anything about being your foster father.
Lad 1: yes
Lad 1: for you to help me
Lad 1: recieve it
Lad 1: that is what i ask for you
Mal: I'm not going to be your foster father.
Mal: You're a gorram adult!
Lad 1: yes
Lad 1: what i want is for you to help me
Lad 1: recieve it
Lad 1: for me
Mal: Two things; you have to remove that bit about foster father.
Lad 1: ok
Lad 1: so how will remove it
Lad 1: what and what
Mal: You have to spell out what I do with the gold and that I have to safeguard your share.
Lad 1: yes
Lad 1: what you will do with the gold is to keep it
Lad 1: for me
Mal: I thought I was supposed to sell it.
Lad 1: you have to open a mining company
Lad 1: for me
Mal: Sorry, what?
Lad 1: in your country
Lad 1: you can use to have a small mining company
Lad 1: or you sell it to any body
Lad 1: there in your country
Mal: Why would I want a gorram mining company?
Mal: I know fox alpha about that!
Lad 1: ok
Lad 1: so you tell me
Lad 1: how you want us do now
Mal: I don't know.
Lad 1: about the business
Lad 1: you can open a business
Mal: I know fox alpha about running a business.
Lad 1: yes
Lad 1: that mean
Mal: Sorry, what?
Lad 1: about
Mal: I don't understand.
Lad 1: i don,t uunderstand
Lad 1: you
Lad 1: too
Lad 1: all what i want is for you to help me
Mal: That makes two of us!
Lad 1: reciever the funds
Lad 1: and use the gold to stary a small business
Lad 1: for me
Lad 1: and you get 50%
Lad 1: form the gold
Mal: I thought it was 40%.
Lad 1: now i want it to 50% 50%
Mal: Why?
Lad 1: all the gold is going to you
Lad 1: and i want you to trust me
Lad 1: the way i trust you
Lad 1: so let make it 50% 50%
Lad 1: so will you contact them
Mal: Only when the agreement is agreed on and finalized.
Lad 1: ok
Lad 1: how i don,t know how to do the agreement that you say you want
Mal: I told you what was needed.
Lad 1: but i can get that
Lad 1: by finalized
Lad 1: that mean i have to get a barrisster
Mal: Why?
Lad 1: you say finalized
Mal: Properly written up and witnessed.
Lad 1: yes
Lad 1: that what i do
Lad 1: and you say is not that
Mal: You got it wrong. You put in things that don't apply, and left out other things that were needed.
Lad 1: like
Mal: First, the bit about foster father. Second, the bit about what I should do with the gold.
Lad 1: ok
Lad 1: so i should remove the foster father
Mal: Definitely.
Lad 1: ok
Lad 1: and what agian
Lad 1: what you will do with the gold
Lad 1: is that all
Mal: I think so.
Lad 1: ok
Lad 1: that mean i will remove
Lad 1: it and get it done
Lad 1: i have send you
Lad 1: to see it
Lad 1: agian
Mal: OK.
Lad 1: you see it
Lad 1: now
Mal: Something that occurred to me...
Lad 1: yes
Mal: I just wonder why the gold shouldn't stay in New Zealand, and I settle the business there.
Lad 1: if you say so
Lad 1: but we to clear it from the company
Lad 1: frist
Mal: What do you mean, "clear"?
Lad 1: from the secuirty company
Mal: I don't care where it is!
Lad 1: ok
Lad 1: so what will i do now
Lad 1: are you not going to write to them
Mal: So I can go to New Zealand and settle the business there?
Lad 1: yes
Lad 1: you can go then
Lad 1: if you go then
Mal: Sure.
Lad 1: you have to clear it out from the scerity company
Mal: But make sure the agreement is completed.
Lad 1: and keep it
Mal: And for the love of Pete, explain "cleared".
Lad 1: his not complet
Lad 1: the box is in the company
Lad 1: and before they will give it to you
Lad 1: you have to clear it out
Lad 1: from the company
Lad 1: with some document
Mal: Explain "cleared".
Lad 1: like clearing title
Mal: That explains nothing.
Lad 1: document
Mal: Neither does that!
Lad 1: so tell me
Lad 1: that what the company tell me
Lad 1: that i will do
Lad 1: to get the gold out
Mal: Sorry, what?
Lad 1: the gold
Mal: Why must the gold come out in the first place?
Lad 1: out of the company
Lad 1: because now is in the salve house of the company
Mal: But if it's safe, why move it?
Lad 1: they want to close the company
Mal: Sorry, what?
Lad 1: that why they call me to look for a way to claer it out

He disappeared suddenly.

Lad 2: HELLO
Mal: Yes?
Lad 2: HOW ARE YOU DOING
Mal: Fine.
Mal: So?
Lad 2: WHAT
Mal: So why are you here?
Lad 2: AM IN MY OFFICE
Lad 2: BUSY
Mal: Here, as in, here!
Lad 2: PLS TALK TO YOU LATER
Lad 2: I DONT UNDERSTAND
Mal: Never mind.
Lad 2: NO AXPLAIN
Lad 2: I NEED TO UNDERSTAND
Mal: Explain what?
Lad 2: Here, as in, here!
Mal: I don't understand.
Lad 2: YOU SAID Here, as in, here!
Mal: So?
Lad 2: THAT IS WHAT I ASK
Lad 2: WHAT IS THE MEANIN OF Here, as in, here!
Lad 2: OK
Lad 2: I UNDERSTAND NOW
Mal: Now I'm confused!
Lad 2: CONFUSED FOR WHAT
Mal: What the Sam Frick this is all about!
Lad 2: DONT STILL UNDERSTAND
Mal: Neither do I?
Lad 2: I DONT KNOW
Mal: That makes two of us!
Lad 2: OK
Mal: Is there a reason for this?
Lad 2: for what
Mal: For this gorram conversation!
Lad 2: please am busy
Mal: So why are we here?
Lad 2: am online for bussness partiners
Mal: OK.
Lad 2: thanks
Mal: So what do you want?
Lad 2: NOTHING
Lad 2: I JUST TAKE YOU AS AQ FRIEND OF MINE
Lad 2: BUT YOU ARE AVOIDING ME
Lad 2: SO NOTHING THERE TO WORRY ABOUT
Mal: How am I avoiding you?
Lad 2: THE WAY YOU TALK TO ME SHOWS ME
Mal: What do you mean?
Lad 2: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Mal: No I don't, or I wouldn't have asked.
Lad 2: YOU ALWAYS SOUND SO BAD TO ME WENEVER I CHARTE WITH YOU
Mal: Where did you get that idea?

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:05 am

Well, I'm confused.
Why didn't you want a gold mine, Yastreb?
Never know when it could come in handy!

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:57 am

gold mines are sooo last week anyway. Dont they know its all about spice melange now?