Might finally have my TWAT pyramid soon!

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 24 Jan 2012 Posts: 72

Quote:

Dear brother in the Lord,

I have heard all you said and i am doing everything possible to build my own monument of faith to the best of my knowledge.

I hope after building my faith, the church can assist me to build a great congregation here in Ghana because i have started talking my friends about the our church (TWAT) and they are all interested.

If God permit, i will send you my built scanned of monument of faith.

Regards

Prince Tease

This has been going on for a few weeks but this is the first real indication I've received that he is actually working on this.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:29 pm

I am jealous. I have yet to get someone to bite on this yet. I have probably sent out 15 or so of the first script. Good luck, sounds like you have the lad well baited!

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:35 pm

I do hope you gave the lad the official building instructions. Otherwise his monument of faith might not be up to TWAT standards. And then we have the ordainment ceremony, he got to get that right too.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 24 Jan 2012 Posts: 72

Boxman, I've been having some success with these scripts..

Quote:

Dear friend,

I'm not sure if you meant to send this email to me or somebody else. This email account is used for our church grant fund. I am with The Church of The Watchtower Apocalyptic Testament, and we are always interested in providing grants to people whose hearts are interested in spreading the word of our church to new places. Well I am truly excited to hear more from you soon as I feel it was divine providence that has brought us together today!

Blessed be,

Harry Balls
TWAT Grant Fund Administrator
http://www.securewebdata.com/TWAT/

Feel free to use it if you want. I think the part that really seems to leave an impression on them is that I use the same "blessed be, site link" signature on all emails with them.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 9:27 pm

Keep in mind that if the pyramid is not centered in accordance with the principles of Feng shui, it will have to reoriented 15 degrees to starboard....which is right. or is that port? Oh, I never could get that straight.

And you do know that the dedication ceremony must be filmed for evaluation by the Special Committee About Monetary Matters Enquiry Regarding Submissions? ("Scammers"). Obviously, if the ceremony is not up to par, it will have to be repeated. Repeatedly.

Bruin

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 10:15 pm

^^Thanks DeProfundis. I will try that one, it sounds good. Very Happy

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Feb 2012 Posts: 438

Best of luck, wouldn't this be better posted under a board that requires login?

This thread is the 3rd result I get if I google TWAT Church.

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 7:17 pm

Hmmm.

Ive had a lad Google my church (not TTWWAATT), and suggested it dosnt exist.

Of course he got convinced otherwise, but i can definitely see this becoming an issue.

Nice observation.

Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:10 am

A quick Google for TWAT by itself got nothing in thr first ten pages.

Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:15 am

My reply to lads who query the lack of a website for my church is that we are a church not a business, therefore we have no need for a website.

Also, we do not need to advertise as the word of God is enough to bring us new members (I also give the fact that they emailed us in the first place as proof that we can easily attract new members without advertising).

Not quite a Newb Joined: 24 Jan 2012 Posts: 72

Well here is what he finally sent to me. Should I tell him that the Council of Ministers rejected it or should I just have him take a pic of himself jumping off of the top for the ordainment?

Quote:

Dear Brother in the Lord,

In the attached is my own Monument Of Faith built according to my faith and knowledge. I hope we can start to build the real church on the ground because most of friends has started to ask me where and when will our church be built in Ghana.

I waits for your quick reply.

Prince Tease

Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 1:35 pm

^^^There's nothing to jump from. They obviously "built" the pyramid in MS Paint. Mad

Of course I wouldn't tell them you know that. Ask for pictures from other angles so you can see that it's the scripturally prescribed depth, or of his mates standing at the different levels, or some other silliness. Then he'd either have to do more bad photo chopping, actually build the thing, or make horribly twisted excuses.

Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 1:35 pm

Methinks your lad is in for a serious slap.

Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 1:55 pm

Also tell him he need to make it... ehmm... less blue.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 24 Jan 2012 Posts: 72

I'm just hoping that I haven't tipped him off...

Quote:

Prince Tease,

The Council of Ministers feels that your submission of your Monument of Faith appears to have been constructed on a computer. Were you aware that it was supposed to be built in real life, not on a computer? We understand that building such a monument is difficult but it is supposed to be a test of your faith, a sign of the strength of your faith. We await a digitally unaltered submission. Please, if you are having any difficulties with this project or if you have any questions regarding the instructions I sent to you about its construction please feel free to ask me.

Blessed be,

Harry Balls

TWAT Grant Fund Administrator

http://www.securewebdata.com/TWAT/

Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 4:25 pm

^ perfect, let him know you've got the measure of him, keep him sweet, guide him to a righteous place and a very bad back.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Feb 2012 Posts: 438

LOL. that pyramid is fantastic.

Clearly made in MS Paint.

Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 9:48 pm

Well it probably took a little while to chop that atleast. Smile

You'll get it!

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Feb 2012 Posts: 438

yeah he definitely spent some time trying to think of ways to make that shit look remotely convincing.

How dumb is he hoping you are?

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 4:53 pm

Nice he tried to scam the church.

Demand a video tape of a 'washing the sins away ceremony'. Something like he must tie pork meat on his body. Then walk up on a path of hot coal, which leads to a real Pyramid which he has to climb and put fire on.

When he has send you a hand written apology, you can send him to the site [email protected] where the manual of the ceremony is.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 24 Jan 2012 Posts: 72

Totally amazed that I managed to find a 1,000 page TWAT bible http://twatchurch.webs.com/apps/documents/ Surely there must be some way or some cruel form I can devise that will have our friends scouring the pages for answers that they must have in order to obtain their grant money! Cool

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 11:21 am

Fantastic pyramid!!! Laughing

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