"an agent with special needs" (a Cammy chat)

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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 2:16 am

A Lad opened chat with Cammy; I doubt that he'll do so again.

Cammy: Yes.
Lad: how are you doing
Cammy: Fine, why do you ask?
Lad: i want you to make the payment and received your ATM CARD.
Lad: the total amount that you are to send is $500
Lad: once you make the payment you will get yout ATM CARD within 24hrs
Cammy: Is that it?
Cammy: What ATM card?
Lad: your atm card
Lad: worth 8.5 million us dollars
Lad: you will get your atm card through homeland security
Cammy: I don't know anything about that!
Cammy: Who are you exactly?
Lad: i am special agent joseph jay hansen
Lad: so i want you to make the payment today so that you will get your atm card
Lad: within 24hrs
Cammy: Where's the money coming from?
Lad: the ATM CARD is coming from benin republic
Cammy: Huh?
Lad: the only thing you have to do is to make the payment available today
Lad: inorder to received your ATM CARD
Cammy: Why is this Benin Republic sending me money?
Lad: IS NOT THAT BENIN REPUBLIC SENDING MONEY
Cammy: Huh?
Lad: BUT THE REASON IS THAT IF YOU HAVE A FUND IN BENIN THEY WILL CALL YOU TO TAKE YOUR FUNDS
Cammy: I don't have a fund in Benin.
Lad: BUT THE FILE SHOWS THAT YOU HAVE
Cammy: Well, that's news to me.
Lad: OK
Lad: NOW I WANT YOU TO MAKE THE PAYMENT AND CLAIM YOUR FUNDS
Lad: WHICH IS YOUR ATM CARD
Cammy: That still doesn't explain where the money came from originally.
Lad: THE FEDERAL MINISTER OF FINANCE HAS MAKE ARRANGEMENT TO TRANSFER YOUR FUNDS TO YOU THROUGH HOMELAND SECURITY ATM CARD
Cammy: What funds? For the love of Freyja, give me details!
Lad: DETAIL OF YOUR FUNDS
Lad: OR DETAILS ON HOW TO MAKE THE PAYMENT
Cammy: Details of the fucking funds, of course!
Lad: OK
Lad: I WILL GIVE YOU THE DETAIL
Lad: BUT REMEMBER IT IS NOT FUCKING
Cammy: I'll call it what I want!
Lad: $8.5 MILLION US DOLLARS IS NOT FUCKING
Cammy: Just get to the point!
Lad: CHECK YOUR EMAIL YOU WILL SEE THE DETAILS
Cammy: The one from the FBI? There weren't any details! Just some bullshit about not dancing with them!
Lad: NO
Lad: THE SUBJECT IS
Lad: THE FEDERAL RESERVE BANKING SYSTEM OF UNITED STATE REPRESENTATIVE
Cammy: OK, the one from Gen.Bello Mohammed,Rtd. National Security Adviser to Mr.President?
Lad: NO
Lad: I JUST SEND NOW
Lad: IT IS ATTACH
Lad: JUST OPEN THE ATTACH
Cammy: Then who the fuck is Gen Mohammed?
Cammy: He's in Benin.
Cammy: Mr Hansen, are you there?
Cammy: Please don't jerk me around. If you don't answer me, I'm going to assume that you're not being serious.
Lad: am sorry am little busy but now through
Lad: hello
Lad: camille white
Lad: am back let us talk ok
Lad: are you there
Lad: am sorry by not let you know that am kind of busy
Cammy: Of course, I'm waiting for you to respond.
Lad: am through now
Cammy: Well?
Lad: i don't know any body called gen mohamed
Lad: the name is from islamic
Cammy: I guessed. Why is he sending me an ATM card then?
Lad: don't mind him
Lad: he is a frauster
Lad: he want to scam you
Cammy: O RLY?
Cammy: Are you sure that you're secure there? He wrote to me at the exact same time that you opened chat!
Lad: if you want to get this your ATM CARD just follow my instruction
Cammy: But like I replied to the email, I don't have anything to do with Citibank New York.
Lad: where did you want to us to transfer it to
Lad: give us your bank name
Lad: we will make you that you received your fund once you make the payment
Lad: bank of american
Cammy: I'm with the National Australia Bank.
Lad: ok
Lad: we will transfer it there
Lad: provide to me now your full information
Cammy: What information?
Lad: Your full name: Your home address: Your occupation: Direct Telepho number Your Country: Your City: bank name bank address bank telephone
Lad: i want to provide it now
Lad: ok
Cammy: I'll have to get back to you on some of that. Why do you need to know my occupation?
Lad: not to make mistake in transferring the funds
Lad: i want you to make the payment available today
Lad: hello
Cammy: It won't be possible today.
Lad: when are you going to make the payment
Cammy: Actually, just one thing; you're Department of Homeland Security, American, yeah?
Lad: yes
Lad: but the needed fee is from benin republic
Cammy: Then something is wrong. I'm not American. You don't have any jurisdiction.
Lad: but we have many office all over the world
Cammy: You do? Since when?
Lad: not me alone
Lad: am just special agent
Lad: we transfer it into your bank account
Cammy: But I never had any business with Citi Bank New York.
Lad: don't worry yourself once we get the payment we will transfer the funds into your account
Lad: or diplomat will deliver it to your home address in australia
Cammy: I am totally fucking confused now! A bank I've never dealt with, money from a country I'd never heard of, and an agency that doesn't have any business in Australia - how the fuck does all this work?
Lad: diplomat will deliver it to your home address through fedex
Cammy: A diplomat? I thought it was going to my fucking bank!
Lad: you said that your bank is national australia bank
Cammy: So what the fuck is this diplomat shit?
Lad: i just suggest it
Lad: if you want bank to bank
Lad: it is very well accepted
Lad: anyone you want
Cammy: Is there any chance you could explain why the fuck I was being paid $8.5 million in the first place??????
Lad: but the only delay you the fee $500
Cammy: DON'T DODGE THE FUCKING ISSUE!!!
Lad: like i told you the money is actually coming from benin republic
Cammy: Why is Benin giving me money?
Lad: they are compensating each and every one that lost their money in the country
Cammy: Simple question!
Cammy: What the fuck?
Cammy: I haven't lost any money in Benin.
Lad: but according to them your name and email address is among the listed
Lad: thats why they want to compensate you
Cammy: Well, they made a pretty fucking big mistake!
Lad: but if you didn't lost any money i will advice you to claim the money
Lad: because it the way god want to bless you
Cammy: Are you telling me to accept money under false pretences?
Cammy: And don't give me that Christian waffle!
Lad: since they registerred the money with your name
Lad: it better for you to claim as your own
Cammy: It would still be a lie.
Cammy: Like I said, it would still be a lie.
Lad: if you don't need it you can still used it to help the poor
Lad: motherless babies
Lad: sick people
Cammy: I am not going to accept money I'm not entitled to!
Lad: you are not entiltle to it
Cammy: Exactly!
Lad: because your name ids there
Cammy: Huh?
Lad: you are tiltle to it
Cammy: But you said I'm not.
Lad: your name is there used the money for the work of the church
Lad: i just repeat what you said
Cammy: I refuse to do anything for the church.
Lad: why
Cammy: Because I am not a Christian and never will be.
Lad: then used the money to take care of motherless babies
Cammy: It ain't my money to start with.
Lad: what did you want to do now
Lad: tell me
Lad: hello
Cammy: Tell me something. Are you a special agent, or an agent with special needs?
Lad: am a special agent from homeland security
Lad: why did you ask
Cammy: Because sometimes you seem to be dumb as a stump.
Cammy: Or, to be less than polite, a fucking retard.
Lad: don't insult me
Cammy: What are you going to do about it?
Lad: if you don't need the money another person need it
Lad: thats me i will claim it
Cammy: Then that would make you a fucking thief,
Cammy: You're not Federal Agent!
Lad: you said you don't need it right
Cammy: That doesn't give you the right to steal from Benin.
Lad: then claim it by yourself
Lad: and return it to them
Cammy: But it's not my money.
Lad: it was issued by your name
Lad: camille white
Cammy: But since I haven't lost any money in Benin, it's not mine to claim.
Lad: if you claim it then you can send it back to them
Lad: the only fee that you will pay to get it is $500
Cammy: But I can't claim what isn't mine.
Lad: but if you cann'y claim i will
Lad: the government of benin will put you among these that get their compensation
Lad: so the choice is yours
Lad: hello
Cammy: Why should I pay $500 for the privilege of handing back someone else's money?
Lad: it is yours
Lad: trust me
Cammy: This sounds more and more like some fucking scam job.
Lad: no
Lad: it is not scam
Cammy: Has to be.
Lad: you know that we hate scammers
Cammy: No, I don't know that.
Lad: why did you call me the name
Lad: we work the security of the people
Cammy: A semi-literate, venal little shit like you?
Lad: good bye dear
Lad: think about the money
Cammy: What fucking money, buttsmear?
Lad: have a nice day dear
Cammy: Fuck off.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Mar 2009 Posts: 582

Love it, Cammy chats are always full of fun logic and questions that puzzle the lads.

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 8:54 am

Poor lad. He threw all his cards in one chat. I wonder why it didn't work?

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

"Cammy: Why should I pay $500 for the privilege of handing back someone else's money?
Lad: it is yours
Lad: trust me "

Sums up the logic of scamming perfectly.

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:05 pm

Love those chats.

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:21 pm

Somewhere someone has to discover the therapeutic value of these chats

Quote:

Lad: we work the security of the people
Cammy: A semi-literate, venal little shit like you?

For the baiter, of course.
For years to come the lad will wonder what 'venal' means.

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