Reading scam mail in the voice of ..

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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 3:04 pm

Sometimes I like to read out scam e-mails in a funny voice or do an impression ... (yes I'm bored) ..

My favourite is to read out e-mails from supposed dying women in the voice of Brians mother from Monty Pythons Life of Brian .. "he's not the messiah, he's a really naughty boy"

If you havent' tried it, give it a go, in your favourite characters voice, it's either extremely hilarious or I'm totally stoned.

"I will be going for an operation tonight and at the moment I cannot take any telephone calls, however, I have adjusted my WILL and my Executor is aware" .. she said Jehovah ..

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

I read mine in Strongbad's voice - it cracks my six year old up. Laughing

ETA - come to think of it, this also amuses my coworkers.

Added link to Strongbad for those of you not familiar with Homestar Runner.

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:15 pm

Me try's to thinks mine replys thruogh before I sends them.

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:44 pm

Quote:

I have adjusted my WILL and my Executor is aware

That sounds ominous. Sure it is an operation she is going to. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:49 pm

it's a correct term in its own right but for miseducation purposes "executioner" would be preferrable.

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:31 am

Big Al wrote:

Me try's to thinks mine replys thruogh before I sends them.

I have read some of your replies and never sure if you are American or not! Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 1:42 pm

Maybe he's American Indian .. me big chief .. you give wampum.
..
Sorry about the stereotype I know native Americans don't speak like that Smile

And Tsnerd, I thought I was the only one Smile

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 1:44 pm

Dr Mike wrote:

Quote:

I have adjusted my WILL and my Executor is aware

That sounds ominous. Sure it is an operation she is going to. Very Happy

Hence the Jehovah bit, where the priest gets stoned (executed) for saying Jehovah. Which is the funniest thing ever http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_hlMK7tCks
also has the funny voice Smile

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 1:51 pm

I always hear the pompous barristers and fund managers in the voice of James Earl Jones. After a few weeks and some trips past an unwilling Moneygram desk, they start to sound more and more like Smeagol. It's quite a climb-down.

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 6:15 pm

Sorry I can't resist .. Date scam read in Smeagol voice

Quote:

My preciousss ... We is Smeagol,a slimy an unattractive .. gollum. We is here to kill new people, no not kills kind little hobbits .. gollum .. seek for friends .. yess ... or maybe more than friends. No you don't have any friends; nobody likes you!
We sees your profile today and needed to know you more .. yesss .. so juicy sweet ,if you dont have anything against that , then you can contact me via my mail box for easier communication and maybe exchange of pictures.
We be nice to them, if they be nice to us.
I hope to hear from you soon or we could let *her* do it.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

I tried to read a vlads email (one of next victimes) in the voice of an old fat drunken russian.

bad idea, sounds awful

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 8:29 pm

I think we need a competition. Who can do the best impersonation whilst on the phone to a lad. Recording please!!
Especially anyone who can do a good Smeagol or Monty Python voice.

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:32 pm

I have put sean connerys voice to certain letters ive read from lads, and to my replies Laughing

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 5:16 am

I'm fond of David Attenborough-style narration...

On a similar note, I always hear Mako when i read Robert. E. Howard's tales of Conan the Cimmerian. Try it - you'll like it!

"Then suddenly the borealis, the snow-clad hills and the blazing heavens reeled drunkenly to Conan's sight; thousands of fire-balls burst with showers of sparks, and the sky itself became a titanic wheel which rained stars as it spun. Under his feet the snowy hills heaved up like a wave, and the Cimmerian crumpled into the snows to lie motionless." (The Frost Giant's Daughter)

If you do not know the work of the late, great actor Mako, you are truly bereft and must make every effort to rectify the situation. Ditto the brilliant terribleness that is early Sword & Sorcery.

But oh yes, reading the higher echelon notes from alleged lawyers/doctors/concerned officials in the voice of Sir Dave is sweet. The Strongbad voice also works very well, thanks for the tip! My Sean Connery isn't very good, but at least i can hear it in my mind....

Yet what of the fair 'maidens' who, in their terror and peril reach out to the one source of affection (read: $$$) they can trust? Mila Kunis? Phyllis Diller?

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 8:53 am

Sean Connery! Geniush!

How about Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones? (Darth Vader anyone? Very Happy

)

Sometimes I think my replies in way how Mr. Yoda would write/tell them.
No bank details matter not, matters what trust your is!

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:54 am

Mortal that's funny. Mr. Green

http://www.yodaspeak.co.uk/

I've run a few mails through the yoda generator.

Here is a converted loan scam.

Original

Quote:

Welcome to CO-OPERATIVES FINANCIAL INVESTMENTS as part of its welfare
package is offering a floating loan at 3% interest rate without any
collateral security.This is to help individuals and companies reach
their financial objectives.

Yoda-ised

Quote:

To co-operatives financial investments as part of its welfare welcome.
Offering a floating loan at 3% interest rate without any, package is.
To help individuals and companies reach, collateral security.this is.
Their financial objectives.

I think I'll run a few of my replies through this and see what lads make of it.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

did anyone try to use this yoda-speak generator with every reply to the lad and forcing him to answer this way? I could imagine, thay yoda-speaking lads could be really funny.

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:32 pm

I did an entire bait in Lolcat ("o hai, westin onionz not good, do not want! you can sends bank accounwtz now pls, kthksbye!") on one occasion - hence my custom tag

And my dragon baiting charachter occasionaly does wax lyrical in the style of very bad sword and sorcery ("mayhap all unknowing I had supped the wine of madness")

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