Working on an album, need help with lyrics

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Master Baiter Joined: 17 Mar 2011 Posts: 198

Right, here's the first one ... This is a rap I wrote called Hitlad. I don't really write rap, so I hope everybody likes it.

Checkin' the spam folder and what do I see?
A guy who's threatening to kill me.
His script is in caps and written poorly
And goes into detail about the stuff he'll do to me.
I respond and say "Hey let's be sensible about this, would you accept some money?"
He writes back and says "oky dorky."
He says Western Union is the way to go
I say that of this place, I do not know.
"It's a money transfer thing."
"Oh yes, a bell that does ring."
"Send me the money in four hours or you're dead."
Being a baiter, I use my head
And send him a form.
He writes back with it filled out - this is not the norm.
I write back and reality begins to sink
In he filled it out with the wrong bloody ink.
This goes on and on
He keeps talking about his boss named Ron.
Then finally the game's done,
His email is dead and gone.
Then one day I get something from the same guy
To that old hit bait a reply:
"You go to hell.
[Signed] Sincerely, Dave Chappelle"

NOTE: My adding of well-known comic's name Dave Chappelle does not represent any lad I have ever baited, nor have encountered. (I felt like I should just let that be known.)

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 3:54 am

I'm not used to rap, can't stand the genre personally, so I may be off on this. The pacing seems a little dodgy though. However, a bit of RATM or Run DMC type beats and I think we can make this work. I especially love the part about the wrong bloody ink XD

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Mar 2011 Posts: 198

Haha, actually I hate rap too. Wink

I was just having trouble writing stuff earlier, so I thought I'd try it. Yeah, you are right about the pacing.

Are parodies of other songs okay, as long as they're about baiting? I'm more used to parodies, so that's a bit more up my alley.

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:07 am

I'm willing to do parodies, but I can't release them as part of the official album (legalities, you know)

But you know, those epic rap battels of history I actually enjoy a lot. The music in them is usaslly quite good and the "rapping" isn't annoying at all! So naturally, I would like to see a scambaiter vs a scammer Twisted Evil

I think we know who would win.

But if you wanna make it a duel rap like that, I got a rapper on hand....

BTW, let me try to fix the pacing a bit...

Checkin' the spam folder and what do I see?
A guy who's threatening to kill me.
His script is in caps and written so poorly
And goes into detail about what he'll do to me.
I respond and say "Would you accept some money?"
He writes back and says "Well, okay"
He says Western Union is the only way to go
I say that of this place, I really don't know.
"It's a money transfer thing."
Then a bell starts to ring,
How silly of me to forget such a thing!
"Send me the money in four hours or you're dead."
Being a baiter, I start to use my head
And I send him a form, fifty pages long.
He writes back with it filled out - it's all wrong.
I write back and reality begins to sink
In he filled it out with the wrong bloody ink.
This goes on and on and on
He keeps talking about his boss named Ron.
Then finally I realize that the game is done,
His email is dead and the lad is long gone.
Then one day I get something from the same guy
To that old hit bait a reply:
"You can go to hell.
[Signed] Dave Chappelle"

Whatcha think, a bit better? Try it with a run-DMC meets DEVO twist...

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Mar 2011 Posts: 198

Right - that's what I thought. I'll work on some writing (parody, rap, and song) in the coming days and post it.

Those are epic rap battles are pretty good! Einstein v. Stephen Hawking is a favorite of mine. There's a great economics one out there between F.A. Hayek and Keynes.

I love that idea! Perhaps we'll have to think about a rap battle ...

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:15 am

Hawking vs Einstein is MY favorite one! But I'm a total nerd...

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 9:17 am

RATM, Pixies and Devo?

Now those are my kind of influences. Sounds like you have your guy already on the case but I'll write something today and post it up for everyone to point at!

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:21 pm

Just this so far. Not sure whether it's useful or useable but you might be able to pick a bit of meat off the bones. Definitely needs some serious chugg.

I am the Eater
I have the power of ten
Thousand
Women and men
Eyes that see the evil in your black and twisted hearts
I am the sum of all your fears
And the sum of many parts

You want my ID?
Well my ID is shopped!
You want my dolla?
Well my dolla is chopped!
You want my bank account, my telephone, my passport, my address?
You think that I’m a mugu?
I’m a baiter – I confess.

My money transfer’s phoney and my credit card won’t swipe
While you’re dialling long distance I am talking on the Skype
You think that you are fooling me?
You think that you can’t lose?
Well look again my scammer friend
At twenty thousand views

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 5:26 pm

That's seems to have Dave Mustaine written all over. Which is good, I love Megadeth Very Happy

I'm thinking of going with something similar to "Addicted to Chaos" or "Blood of Heroes" for those lyrics, and I'll have to mold the lyrics a bit, but I think it will work!

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Throw some "Dime Bag" in there. The man could play.

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 6:12 pm

Aw come on! Mix Megadeth with Dimebag? That's a deadly combination, man. I think everyones' heads would asplode.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Mugu's from hell could go Gold!

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 6:28 pm

Gold? GOLD? How dare you! I will not settle for anything less than myrrh!!!

BTW, extra credit if you get the reference.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

At this time of the year, I'm going to have to say that may be an unfair play on the field. I hope the refs banish you to the walk though the Cemetery Gates!

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 6:38 pm

Meh, the cemetery gates have been locked ever since those cowboys showed up.

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 4:15 am

Hello crotcheecher, Phil, next vic, and Bookreader,

Morgain Le Fay told me about this thread. Can I get in on this ??

I haven't done too much baiting this year but I've been an Eater alumnus
since Feb. of 2010.

But more relevant, I'm a professional musician. That's all I do. Can I be
in the Eater band? Let's discuss. Phil, those were great lyrics. They did have
a Megadeth vibe. Anyway, I will send crotcheech my contact details via PM.

Also, as far as lyrics writing I suck more than a Kirby vacuum cleaner.

But I play multiple instruments. And I found a lyricist in Aus. Jan. of this year.

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 4:45 am

Quote:

I had a lad translating AC/DC's Highway To Hell into Igbo language

Someone owes me a new keyboard for that. I just spewed beer all over this one Laughing

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 7:18 am

@Brainiac: The more the merrier! I replied to your PM. My apologies on the delay, my buddies' birthday is today and his car gave him a busted valve stem for a present Razz

@Bearkat419: I've sent you a new keyboard, but it's stuck in customs.... Twisted Evil

Other than that, yes, having a lad translate AC/DC to Igbo was quite entertaining. I might have to record that, but I'm a horrible singer. So lets make a lad do it for us Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 6:11 am

Merry New Year crocheecher and everybody !!! Very Happy

It's 2012 now and we've been in contact re: the Eater band and the Lad-song.

Just trying to revive interest in this thread in the new year.

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:36 pm

Well, I've recorded the song using music from crocheecher and the lyrics
by Phil Yerboots, which, cosmically fit exactly to the music though he had
never heard it.

Getting ready to send to croche by e-mail. We will review and I'm sure
he might want to post it up at the file-sharing site, mediafire. The place
where I grabbed the chord progression from.

^^ To BookReader, I couldn't use your "Hitlad" lyrics, but maybe the next one.
If I can get another tune from croch, I could use your words.

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 2:13 am

First listen of the song sounds great. The vocals are a bit muffled, but the music part turned out absolutely BEAUTIFUL. It has a bit of a Dweezil Zappa sound to them. Anyway, I'll be uploading them to mediafire and posting a link soon.

And we'll start working on the next song shortly Very Happy

Thanks, Braniac! Thumbs up

Edit: Here's teh demo of the first song! Clicky here!!!

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 9:31 am

Ok, so apparently this is what my brain comes up with at 4.30am when I've had no sleep and experience a sugar-rush from eating too many Smarties. Laughing

Could be useful, could be inane rambling. I'll let you decide. Wink

(Did finally get some sleep, hence the delay in posting...)

LOVE LIES

You came out of nowhere, a stranger on the line
A couple of emails and you want to be mine.
You say you want to love me, and together we'll grow old
But all you'll ever really want is cold hard gold.
You say colour doesn't matter, that our true love is blind
Guyman I gotta tell you, I know what's on your mind.
Your poisoned tongue, your empty words, I knew right from the start
You had no qualms or fears about ripping out my heart.

Love lies bleeding, love lies dead
Our true romance is in your head.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Your little game just turned to rust.

So tell me of your problems, now you think I'm yours
Of how you can't escape, trapped by your wretched shores.
Your family are poor, feel pity for your plight!
And just one simple payment will make it all come right.
Our lives are bound together,marriage is on the cards
Except you can't afford to pay the visa charge.
Our love is strong, our love is true
but no MTCN is making you blue.

Love lies bleeding, love lies dead
Our true romance is in your head.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
In this game there is no trust.

Your payment hasn't come, so you up your little game,
Questioning our love, claiming I'm to blame.
I tell you that I'm sorry, I tell you I repent
when for the 15th time to the Westy you've been sent.
Your bank accounts are closed, you're chopped by Mr Gomer
Face the truth 'my love', your fraud attempt is over.
An SSC safari makes you stredded offline
Justice is sweet, revenge is mine.
Your empty heart, your shallow soul,
is mourning your nefarious goal
to tear asunder all I had - you'll never win, and of that, I'm glad.

Love lies bleeding. love lies dead
Our true romance has been put to bed.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Your game is up. You're done, dead, crushed.

Embarassed

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 6:51 pm

I like! Very poetic and smooth. Cougar, do us all a favor and eat more Smarties, while staying up till 4:30 AM!

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 8:07 pm

Christ no, my body couldn't take it! Not to mention my cat being annoyed cause I kept waking her up. Laughing

Glad/relieved you like it. Feel free to mess with it as needed.

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 10:07 pm

I'm shamed by talent beyond mine......(Big Al)

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