Frank and My Four Wives.

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Well, I actually recieved this email before i'd even found 419eater, and thought i'd have some fun. Then i saw the site in a magazine article, and thought i'd jump right in. Hope you enjoy.

It stared off normally enough:

Quote:

From: [email protected] <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Date: Wed, 22 Sep 2004 09:48:39 +0000
Subject: TREAT AS URGENT(TRUST)

I am Dr. Frank Mueller, Manager Special Deposits Accounts Dept., Union Bank Plc.here in Nigeria. I got your contact address from the European Directory (EURO PAGES), which I brought in Amsterdam while on holidays. I have decided
to contact you purely on the personal conviction of trust and confidence that we can co-operate with one another and do a very lucrative business for our mutual benefit.

The Business I am proposing to you is in respect of the sum of US$12,150,000.00 (Twelve Million One Hundred and Fifty Thousand United States
Dollars Only) deposited in three separate special deposits accounts with my bank which belonged to Mr. Warren Duane who died three years ago in an air crash during a charter flight from Port Harcourt to Lagos. Mr. Warren Duane was an engineer and was into Consultancy services and Servicing and maintenance of Oil Drilling Equipment for the major Oil Companies in Nigeria.

My Bank has made several efforts at contacting the family of Duane or his relatives, but all have proved abortive, as he had no identifiable Wife or Children. This sum of US$12.1M has remained unclaimed ever since then and nobody has come forward as his next of kin. The Management of my bank is contemplating to donate the money to the Trust Fund of WEST AFRICAN PEACE KEEPING FORCE (ECOMOG) for arms and Ammunitions that will further escalate the
course of senseless wars and ethnic killings in West African Sub-region and the world at large, which we consider as genocide.

It is against the background of the foregoing, that myself and two of my colleagues in the bank have decided to contact you for assistance and
partnership, for you to stand as the next of kin to Mr. Duane. With your permission this fund will be transferred to your private account abroad as the beneficiary and next of kin to Mr. Duane. All proof of claim and necessary
documentation will be carefully worked out in your favour and we assure you of 100% risk free involvement and protection. Consequently, if you find this proposal acceptable to you and you wish to assist us, I expect your urgent
response and upon receipt of that, we shall discuss and agree on the disbursement and sharing ratio.

Let me therefore expect your very urgent response through my above phone, fax or e-mail addresses. I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Please, you can get in touch with me through this E-mail: [email protected], [email protected]

Best regards,

Dr. Frank Mueller

So, Straight off, I reported his hotmail addresses to hotmail. Then i replied to his ITALIAN email address.. lol:

Quote:

Dear Dr. Mueller.

Thankyou for your kind and interesting email.

I am VERY VERY interested in your offer, but i must inform you that
this email address is about to be deleted.

Please would you instead use *****@********.com to send me further information?

Many Thanks.

Kaizer Soze. (Used the name of the fictitious character from the Usual Suspects movie)

So, he did..

Quote:

Dear Kaizer Soze,

With thanks I received your mail and appreciate your prompt response.

As explained in my first mail to you, I want you to stand as the beneficiary Next of Kin to our late customer so that the investment deposit of USD12.150 million he left behind can be paid to you. I have all the information that will guarantee the successful claim and payment to you, all that I need is your word of assurance to cooperate fully with me and adhere to my instruction. You are entitled to 35% of the amount for your anticipated assistance while 5% will be to reimburse all expenses that might be incurred on both sides while the balance will be for me. You can go through my first mail thoroughly for better understanding.

I would want you to forward to me your complete name and address with, Telephone and fax No. with which I will carry out some documentation here to input your name and data in the original deposit file here. On completion of the documentation, I will give you a Text of Application which you will send to the bank officially for the release of the fund on your behalf.

Meanwhile, you will also have to provide the bank account where the money will be transferred to. I would also want you to assure me that you will give me my share once the transfer is completed. My plan is to come over to meet with you on the completion of the fund transfer for the sharing and discussion on possible investment in your country. I really want you to understand that this transaction is 100% risk free hence, my contact to you. Kindly pardon me if I bridged into your privacy.

You are to forward also your private phone number and fax number if any further communication.

I look forward to your urgent reply.

Regards,

Frank Mueller

I, of course, was worried that he might be trying to scam money off me! I wanted comforting.

Quote:

Dear Frank.

I am a little bit concerned about sending you my personal information.
I have heard a lot about Internet Scams recently, and do not wish to
fall foul of an evil scam.

I am running a very successful Internet Venture at the moment, and so
it is likely that I will have 'spare' funds to assist in this
transaction, if it is legal.

I need some sort of proof of the reality of this transaction. Perhaps
you could email me a picture of yourself at work? Perhaps with some
proof that the money exists, so i can approach my management
colleagues, and ask them for donations.

Again, many thanks for informing me of this venture, I hope to hear
from you very soon.

Your faithfully,

Kaizer.

When he replied to this email, he made an interesting mistake. He emailed me twice- once with the 'financial proof' and once with is ID. Obviously working off a script. I have no idea how he planned to scam anybody like this. (it gets worse.)

First Reply:

Quote:

Dear Friend,

Once again, I thank you for your urgent response, pray you not to be so skeptical about anything as the nature of this transaction is made in utmost good faith, however, it is wise hearing around lots about Internet Scam but just to let you know this is Legal and real.

In respect of the effort been put in place towards the success of this transaction and regarding you requested back-up documents. I have secure the attached documents and a scan copy for your perusal. More over, note that it is this Information I will use to file an Application on your behalf in place of the late warren Duane's file so that the fund can be approved in your favour.

Further more, I will oblige you to forward this said information as stipulated in my aforemention mail to you, because without this we can not proceed, and I believe with your utmost interest, diligent and understanding we can both succeed in this line of project.

Note: Your utmost commitment, trust and confidentiality is highly required in this regard to yield the success of this transfer to your nominated bank account which you will make forwarded to the bank after filing the Application and Approve for you.

Look forward to receive those informations, your direct telephone and fax number for more briefing. Thank you in anticipation of your understanding.

Frank

And then:

Quote:

Dear Friend,

A very good day to you! In respect of your quest, which I understand quite well.

However, this transaction as put to you before now is genuine and everything regarding it has been concluded for smooth finalisation, even if one need to be skeptical, I should be the one in that position to be asking you that. Because I am the one entrusting this such huge amount of fund into your account, and hoping we share it when I come over to your country.

In due fact, I will oblige you and I to inculcate the act of brotherliness, which simply should illustrate Trust and Confidence in one another, which is the utmost right of this transaction as the nature of the transaction requires of it. Attached with this message is my working Id-Card, picture of me and my colleagues in the Office.

Without much ado, I will however, want us to create a means of communication security wise which will guide and seal the authentication and confidentiality of this transaction as it is only I and two other official in the office that knows about this deal, whereby I am the principal Initiator-executor of the said transaction. I want you to know that we have spent so much in securing this transaction to this stage in areas of Lobbying several Government Parastatal, back ups Documents and other relevant related area. This is why I am optimistic about the security of this transaction for all our effort not to go in vain.

To this effect, kindly keep up with my motif and advices as I am ready to work with you in securing the fund into your nominated bank account, while I will come down for my own share and you will possibly advise on befitting Project I can invest my own part on. Note that the transaction is 100% risk free.

Thank you in anticipation of your mutual cooperation so far, while I wait for a favourable mail from you and your full name, contact information, Tel & Fax, Account Info as slated before now with your Personal identification.

Frank Mueller

Do, please note, that although he told me his name was Dr. Frank Mueller, the ID card is made out to someone totally different. I told you it got worse..

I decided to not notice about the ID card, in retrospect, i shoulda given him a good slappin'. Instead, I thought i'd try to get him to do a little work for me..

Quote:

Dear Frank.

Thankyou many times for your photographs, they are very helpful.

The girl sitting at your desk is very attractive to me. I would very
much like to meet her in person, maybe this could be arranged into the
bargain.

Unfortunately, although i'm young, and very wealthy, I have a face
like a slapped arse. Girls just never seem to want to have sex with
me. Could you arrange a nice girl for me in Nigeria, for I very much
would like to come to Lagos personally to either help settle the deal
or for a well earned holiday. I want a nice young girl, she must be
pretty, and willing. Tell her I will bring gifts.

I would very much like to see a picture of this girl as soon as you
can arrange it.

I am getting my details from the bank tomorrow, i will send them as
soon as i have everything together, and when i get that picture of the
girl you are providing for me.

If you could arrange this I could bring some gifts for you also,
Frank. Is there anything you would like?

Yours,

Kaizer Soze.

I know its silly, but the idea of him trying to convince that scary looking bitch (if she really exists) into a photograph really amused me..

Quote:

Dear Friend,

I received your message with fervent surprise hearing that you are interested in my Secretary.

First and foremost, you sound so unserious to me with this kind of altitude you put on overnight, I must let you know that, but still need to be convinced that you are in this transaction for real. However, I believe we should deal on business first before dambling into pleasure as I am assuring you that your demand will be meet abundantly , but just to let you know that it will be an additional task on me on the very project I have on me now.

In due fact, I will oblige you and I to inculcate the act of brotherliness, which simply should illustrate Trust and Confidence in one another, which is the utmost right of this transaction as the nature of the transaction requires of it.

Without much ado, I will however, want us to create a means of communication security wise which will guide and seal the authentication and confidentiality of this transaction as it is only I and two other official in the office that knows about this deal. I want you to know that we have spent so much in securing this transaction to this stage in areas of Lobbying several Government Parastatal, back ups Documents and other relevant related area. This is why I am optimistic about the security of this transaction for all our effort not to go in vain.

To this effect, kindly keep up with my motif and advices as I am ready to work with you in securing the fund into your nominated bank account, while I will come down for my own share and you will possibly advise on befitting Project I can invest my own part on. Note that the transaction is 100% risk free.

Thank you in anticipation, while I wait for a favourable mail from you and your full name, contact information, Tel & Fax, Account Info as slated before now with your Personal identification.(INt'l Passport or Id-Card).

Frank

ID Card huh? Time for photoshop! However, i'm lazy and busy with College, so i stall him.

Quote:

Dear Frank.

Firstly, please excuse my sudden eagerness. The prospects of this
transaction make me quite excited. After all, it is 100% risk free!

I do beg your pardon if I have startled you.

Your secretary is indeed one of the finest specimens of womanhood I
have seen in many years, you are indeed a lucky man.

I enclose a photocopy of my ID card.

Unfortunately i am unable to use a phone.

I wish to get this transaction going as soon as possible. Your prompt
response will be welcomed.

Another picture of your secretary would be most welcome, also.

Yours,

Kaizer.

Aww shucks. I musta forgot to press that darn 'Attach' button.. Twisted Evil

Quote:

Dear Friend,

Thank you for your prompt response which I happily appreciate your concern towards this transaction. Atleast, the kind of zeal you've shown at this time really convince me that you are in for real.

However, if I may let you know and hope you wont say because of this shy away from this project as there is better arrangement on ground for you towards your request.

Without much ado, it is unfortunate your request upon my secretary will not be possible as she is already happily married, but promise me to help you be on look out for a better arrangement with one of her friend, if you dont mind?

More so, I did not get any of your id-card as you said to have enclose it in this mail, I will also suggest we keep track of this project through email because of the ecurity network put in place in my country now to avoid any jeopardy.

I look forward to receive soonest the required particulars and your Account information so that I can use them to file the application on time.

Thank you for your anticipated understanding and cooperation.

Frank

Meanwhile, i'd had a chance to get photoshopping. But i wasn't gonna make it so easy for him..

Quote:

Dear Frank.

My deepest apologies for you not receiving my ID Card. I am not
currently 100% on this new email system, I must've forgotton to attach
it.

Please forgive me, we seem to be experiencing some techical
dificulties with our Satellite Internet Earthlink. I think our image
processing server is out of service. It is my worry that we have
GrEMlyns in the machine.

It is a terrible shame that your Secretary is happily married. But I
am a Christian man, and believe very strongly in the sacrifice of
marriage. I wish her and her husbad all the luck in God's earth.

Please enclose in your next email a selection of her friends for me to
choose from. I thank you.

Please find attached my ID Card, rescanned, and my Banking details, on
a 'With Compliments' Slip.

Let me know when the money will be ready to transfer, I am extremely
eager to get this thing finished.

Kaizer.

Tsk. Must be those goddam GrEMlyns.. Wink

Quote:

Dear Friend,

I am pretty surprise reading from you in such manner. I could not read or translate what you have in the attached file nothing was clear. But if you really feel you are interested, I will oblige you to Transtype the whole Information and type them out in mail so that it can be read into properly.

I will make out the picture to yoiu but lets handle business first. That is not a problem even if you are in need of four wives at a go, they are redy for you.

Look forward to read from you soon.

Frank

Transtype? Me? Cheeky Lad.

Quote:

Frank.

Why do you insist on delaying this transaction? I sent you two
perfectly good scans of my ID and my Bank details. I am shocked that
you cannot complete such a simple task. Why do you delay? Why do you
want to waste my time? Frank, please understand I am wealthy enough
without this $12 million. If you make this transaction too hard, then
I simply will not be interested anymore.

Please reconsider your attitude, and cooperate with me.

I enclose the ID card again.

Home Details:

Mr Kaizer Soze
Onest Guvnor
27 Bright Spark Lane
London SW12

I do not have a telephone, as I am deaf, but I have a textphone
service if you are interested in having that please let me know.

Please now send me some photos of my future wives. I want them to each
hold a piece of paper saying why they want to be my bride.

Many Thanks.

Kaiser.

I loved that ID Card.. I can't believe he accepted it. Look at the writing in the background of the card.. Also note the Mickey Mouse signature.. lol.. I found the photo of that hairy guy by doing a google search for 'ugly'.

Quote:

Dear Friend,

With utmost thanks and appreciation I received your mail and the attachment therein. I am truly sorry for putting all the doubt on you earlier, you should know I am only trying to be careful as the nature of this business requires utmost interest and seriousness, and I wont want anything that will jeopardize the project at the long run after we must have gotten to the latter stage.

So, kindly accept my apology, however, I have commence on the filing application in your favour, I will forward to you soon the text of Application which you will send to the bank Official for the proper claim of the said fund. In due fact, I will oblige you and I to inculcate the act of brotherliness, which simply should illustrate Trust and Confidence in one another, which is the utmost right of this transaction as the nature of the transaction requires of it.

More so, on the issue of your wives, laughs out loud!
I will be on the look out, though I have already told one of my cousin, as she use to be nursing the path of getting married to a white man in all her life, so I deemed this a great opportunity for her. I have already punish your personality to her and she�s really daring to know you as well

I will print the ID card and give one to her or better still you can send down a full post card whereby she can take a good possible look.

Thank you so far for your cooperation and understanding.

Frank

"I have already punish your personality to her" WTF?? lol. Sending her THAT picture certaintly will be punishment.

END OF PAGE ONE!

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2004 11:05 pm

lol nice work, that ID killed me

might want to reformat the post though, it's too wide

Guest

Right. Lets get some more info about 'Frank'

Quote:

Dear Frank.

I would very much like to send your cousin a post card.

Could you send me your mailing address and full name so that I can send it?

I wait most excitedly for a picture from her, and further information
from your bank.

Yours in brotherliness,

Kaizer.

I had no idea he'd actually publish an address! Its interesting that he uses the surname 'Williams' again, like the ID card. Has he stolen these pics from another lad? Or is he called Williams himself? I guess we'll never know.

Quote:

Dear Friend,

With great enthusiasm I got your mail, I'm truly relax knowing you have accept my apology. However, As regards the mailing address, you can send it to her directly with;

Tolu Williams
424, L.C.H.Esate,
Oke-Afa, Isolo
Lagos.
Nigeria

I will tell her that she should be expecting the parcel from you.

I will aswell want you you expedite action by adhering to my instructions usually at most time and always ascribe the atom of confidentiality and moral disbursement at all time as the nature requires of it.

I will collect one of her own picture and send to you aswell soon this coming week. Thank you for your usual cooperation.

Frank

Oops.. A parcel. I so can't be bothered with that.

Quote:

Frank

I eagerly await a picture of Tolu. Please be sure she holds a sign
telling me why she wants to be my wife.

Thanks.

I have a new system for recieving calls. Should you wish to leave me
important information, you may leave a message on +44 7092841987, this
will then be turned into text so I can view it on my computer,
obviously, as i was deafened as a small child after i was eaten by a
whale when at the beach, I cannot go into telephone conversation with
you.

I await a picture of Tolu eagerly.

Please be expedite with your
action, as we embark further in this atom of confidentiality and
brotherliness, which is 100% risk free. I copy/pasted this from one of his emails..

Lots of love,

Kaizer

So now unfortunately Frank has forgotten all about Tolu, and wants me to fill in forms.

Quote:

Dear Mr. Kaizer Soze,

Thank you for your prompt response and understanding to all my instruction, I truly appreciate the way you are following the procedure, I have completed the documentation process as I said.

On this note I want you to trans-type the Application below and send it to the Bank for the release of the fund in your favour.

TRANS-TYPE AS BELOW AND EMAIL/FAX TO THE BANK (UNION BANK NIGERIA PLC.) ON TEL NO.: 234.1.4347943, FAX NUMBER: 234.1.4347000 OR E-MAIL: [email protected]

(The Application Text)

THE DIRECTOR,
CREDIT AND FACILITY
UNION BANK NIGERIA PLC.
STALLION BUILDING, MARINA - LAGOS

SIR,

RE: APPLICATION FOR CLAIM

I WISH TO FORMALLY APPLY FOR THE RELEASE OF US$12,150,000.00 DEPOSITED BY MR. WARREN S. DUANE IN ACCOUNT NUMBER 7372010002, ACCOUNT CODE:LAFD/0098/22XX. THIS IS WITH REFERENCE TO LATE MR. WARREN S. DUANE INSTRUCTION AS AMENDED IN THE LAST QUARTER OF YEAR 2000, WHICH CEDES THE RIGHT OF INHERITANCE TO ME THE NOMINATED NEXT OF KIN.

NOTE OUR BANKING DETAILS: (include your banking accont information here)
BANK NAME:
BANK ADDRESS:
BANK TEL/FAX NO.:
SWIFT CODE:
SORTING CODE:
ACCOUNT NUMBER:
ACCOUNT NAME:
PERSONAL TEL/FAX NO.:

LOOKING TOWARDS YOUR ANTICIPATED COOPERATION IN THIS MATTER.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

(YOUR FULL NAME HERE)

Endeavour to send the application today and inform me thereafter. I wait to hear from you soonest.

Regards,

Frank Mueller

So, of course, i report his 'bank' email address to mail.com. However, i can't be bothered to fill in forms. So i leave him for a few days. I'm busy with coursework anyway.

A Few days later..

Quote:

Dear Mr. Kaizer.

Compliments!
I just write to confirm if you had contacted the Bank with the text of application as stipulated, if you had, kindly keep me posted on the outcome so that I can further advice you on what to do.

As regards your wife, she is presently on her final board exams now, so she is apparently too busy with school works, she is doing her final Master Degree programme exam which she ascribe all sorts of seriousness. As soon as she is true I will ask her to take the pictures and I will personal send it through Courier Services.

Your urgent response will be highly appreciated.

Best regards.

Frank

He knows i haven't emailed the bank, he IS the bank. But.. I don't know that, do I?

Admittedly, all his stalling about getting me a trophy was boring me. I started to lose interest..

Quote:

I have contacted the bank. Have you not heard from them yet? Surely
they are not incompitent.

Find me another wife, Frank. I am losing patience with your silly games.

Kaizer.

ARGH! It looks like i've scared him off! NOOOOO!

A few days later, i make a last effort to get him back..

Quote:

Frank,

The deal is off.

I have enough money without help from you.

And anyway, another man from Nigeria contacted me a few days ago, and
he has $30,000,000 dollers for me. He wants $18,000 in lawyers fees,
i'm withdrawing the money on Monday morning for him.

Thanks for the trouble you went to, but hte deal is off.

Your old friend, Kaizer Soze, Esq.

C'mon Frankie Baby, bite!

Quote:

i dont need your money

Infact you are a very cheap fraud.

Punk-ass Hole

Aww dammit. I guess this means game over! Ah well, i enjoyed it while it lasted! If you guys have any ideas/tips for me, please PM me, or something! Thanks for reading!

Guest

Thanks Mouse. Reformatted!

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2004 11:49 pm

i'm not sure why that scared him off, maybe he's been baited before

these mugus might actually be getting smarter Smile

... some of them anyway

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2004 11:50 pm

I love the ID background text! It cracked me up!

Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2004 11:51 pm

ooo maybe that's what did it, he finally took a close look at the ID card

Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2004 12:24 am

Excellent stall work with the ID!!! I love the warped grayscale bad-scan one Very Happy

My only recommendation would be to contact the bank as requested. That may be why he twigged. Who knows, it could be that his cousin finally saw your face and didn't want to be part of it!