Corrupt a wish Genie

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 7:45 pm

Ok, granted. As of now, for you, the answer is always "NO".
The pain you get is also free.

I wish they had more toilets in Nepal.

Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 9:45 pm

Granted. There are now toilets on every corner. But they are all clogged, and stink to high heaven.

Laughing

I wish real life was like the movies, and everything you did came with a sound track.

Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 10:04 pm

Granted, a camera crew decides to film every aspect of your life to the point where they will not give you any privacy at all and the music they play eventually drives you to murdering the entire camera crew and unfortunately it was all caught on tape and you spend the rest of your life in death row awaiting the electric chair.

I wish moving out was easier to do.

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 3:17 am

Granted, your furniture was shipped to a scammer in Nigeria for free! Now you don't need to move all that pesky furniture!

I wish my scammer sent me funny pictures.

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:45 pm

Granted, your scammer sent you a children's comic book. In Yoruba.

I wish for peace on earth.

Will be fun to see how you corrupt that one..

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:55 pm

Granted. there is now peace on earth, the earth's crust. However volcanic violence and mayhem continue underneath the earth and explodes everywhere, creating new volcanoes and causing all sorts of damage.

I wish I could maintain a high level of credibility.

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 10:28 am

'Maintain' would imply you have reached that level already, so the Genie has no other option than to deny in order not to create the greatest paradox in the history of the universe.

I wish other people wouldn't make their database queries so damned complicated (SELECT stuff FROM xxx, (SELECT that FROM yyy) WHERE <where clause> GROUP BY (SELECT xxx FROM etc..., what were they thinking?).

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. The database is shifted back to your Commodore 64. Enjoy re-programming the stuff in Basic V2. And enjoy handling all those nice 5 1/4s!

I wish for good luck.

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 4:12 pm

Granted. You have good luck at slipping on patches of ice, passing gas loudly in church and work uncontrollably, not being able to satisfy your partner, and having your head removed.

I wish for a safe jet pack that can take me anywhere I want totally under my control.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 07 Jul 2010 Posts: 79

Granted. Your safe jet pack is made out of a safe and you realize that 'under your control' means straight down to Earth.

I wish that I could set up a bank robbery and then secretly maintain plausible deniability.

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 6:51 am

Denied. The Genie sends the Thought Police to your house to arrest you for thinking such a thing.

I wish to have a peaceful weekend.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. Your house is run over by 25.000 hippies smoking all kinds of weird stuff.

I wish I could understand the world we live in and life in general.

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:35 pm

Denied. We live on the world, not in the world. There's molten lava down there and wicked hot. Actually genie will grant it for you cause your head is located down there.

I wish all the holidays were done and over!!

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 4:08 am

Granted, all of your presents will be returned to the stores and you will never recieve another.

I wish for more time here.

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 4:58 am

Granted. You were framed for a crime, fired from your job, and placed on house arrest. You have nothing else to do with your time but hang out on the forum Laughing

I wish Cracker Jack prizes were real toys like they used to be instead of stupid paper pencil toppers with a joke on them Laughing

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 5:31 am

Granted, but now the price has gone up the accommodate your wish. Each box now costs $25.00.

I wish candy didn't cause dental carries.

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:59 pm

Granted. They now cause dental cavities. Use real English next time, not that European jibberish.

I wish for the blimey lad to go crikey and not be such a wanker!!

Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2011 4:12 am

Granted, now you go all crikey and become a wanker. The lads become perfect gentlemen and now the whole interwebs hate you.

I wish everyone has a Happy New Year.

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 4:16 pm

Granted. Everyone but the dead people accept your wish. The dead don't give a damn cause....well they are dead.

I wish the new year would get here, I got things to do.

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 4:31 pm

Granted: The Genie has now made today New Years day for you only. That headache is your NYE hangover and don't forget that you have to go back to work in two days. (I hope you're retired)

I wish this rotten cold I've had since last Thursday would go away!!

Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 6:36 am

Granted, the only issue is your nose goes away with the cold. Now you look rather odd. Shocked

I wish my alma mater well in tomorrow night's round ball game. I'll be there...

Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 6:20 am

Granted, Ms. Alma Mater hits you in the head with a baseball and gets a home run and then after the game she hits you in the head with a baseball bat. You are in a coma and wake up a month later.

I wish Tuesday would come already.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

DENIED, as a weekend is never to be skipped. Genie decides to set your arse on fire instead.

I wish I had more power.

Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 7:10 pm

Granted! You find an almost but not completely drained AAA battery in your recycle bin. It's not much, but it's more!

I wish you all a happy new year (one day too soon but what the heck).

Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 10:04 pm

Denied, let's not open a certain box of endless chaos and inconveniences.

I wish a certain reprimand aimed at me was never given to me last night.