Corrupt a wish Genie

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419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. Concrete is quite cheap now. Unfortunately your genie is already completely broke, but if he had any money left, he could NOW buy all the concrete he wanted.

I wish for gold. Lots of gold (to be precise).

Not quite a Newb Joined: 07 Jul 2010 Posts: 79

Granted, your head is now made of lots of gold. But now you have to chop it off again to actually use it for anything.

I wish ParaNoid would not mix up nipples with ripples

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 12:47 am

Granted, you transform him into a nipple with ripples. Now everyone can't stop laughing at the talking circus sideshow act.

I wish I could get my lad to swim to Madagascar.

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 2:42 am

Granted, your lad swims to Madagascar, however the lad was only 20 yards from shore and makes it there easy. Genie suggests to start the lad at a more remote location.

I wish I had a whiffle bat and a steak taco.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Granted, but in the spirit of useless grantings, the Geni changes his mind and gives you a soup sandwich instead....explain that to your significant other.

I wish whatever it is in the air would stop making me sneeze...non-stop

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. It now makes you vomit non-stop. Enjoy.

I wish I had my head back.

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:22 am

Granted. It's now back, but it's a p**is head, you didn't specify which one. Genie cannot help anymore.

I wish I made less sense than I currently do!!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

The Genie finds this very easy...you now speak in nothing but comic strip word bubbles but the rest of the world is now illiterate, only listen to the B-52's and pantomimes are strictly outlawed.

I wish women were less confusing.

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:56 am

Granted! Women are now entirely predictable and you have to spend the rest of your natural life telling them they aren't.

I wish I hadn't run out of firewood.

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:52 pm

Granted. You are moved to the middle of the woods in Aroostook County Maine. Your nearest road is a muddy logging road 15 miles away. You now have plenty of firewood, to chop for yourself.

I wish there were porn films involving sex on trampolines

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:59 am

Granted. There was a stack of pron DVD's on the trampoline at the kids playground. The kids took them home however. Go explain to their parents, will ya?

I wish the office's heating system would work a bit better (having to open the window during early wintertime to keep the temperature below 25 C isn't the most ecological temperature control)

Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:34 am

Denied. Genie has your office get even warmer so you can all go home and get paid for it, as a early Christmas gift. Genie of course has been drinking.

I wish we all had a picture of Genie.

Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:23 am

Denied the Genie is a collective hallucination.

I wish I knew more big words.

Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 10:27 pm

Granted, you now understand what Methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamyl means. Also: doily, tampon and seralax.

I wish I could find my digital camera.

Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 5:52 am

Granted, you find it after SOOI has filled it with photos of his life and locked it on a continuous loop so you cannot use it for anything except a viewer.

I wish I had a 2012 Indian Chief motorcycle with a trike kit in my garage.

Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:36 pm

Granted. You didn't say it had to be operational. The one that was backed over by a garbage truck last night will do nicely.

I wish I had a million dollars, obtained legally.

Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:56 pm

Granted! Check your catcher Wink

I wish I could speak chinese.

Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 7:21 pm

Glanted. You now plonounce all youl 'L's as 'L'.

I wish TV soaps were a bit less predictable.

Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 1:25 am

Denied. They are soaps and genie is wondering why you are watching in the first place anyway.

I wish all feminine hygiene products were controlled by robots from outer space.

Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 1:54 am

Denied. Those products will never be controlled by anybody.

I wish for all sorts of torture when lads safari.

Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 2:35 am

Granted! with every step they take through the bush, your leathery torturer tightens your thumbscrews a little.

I wish I had eaten a decent dinner.

Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 6:13 am

Granted, you ate two pounds of an alfalfa grass hay mixture. Don't drink your water too fast or lay down before you have a chance to digest some more. You don't want to colic.

I wish the truck hadn't run over my motorcycle.

Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 11:22 pm

Granted, it never got run over by the truck, but was trampled over by a bull moose. Just give up on the motorcycle kick ok?

I wish genie could solve this problem: \tfrac{5-\sqrt{5}}{8} → \tfrac{5+\sqrt{5}}{8} → \tfrac{5-\sqrt{5}}{8}

Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:12 pm

Granted, but the answer is :
err div ! 0 redo from start

Can someone find me redo's address?

Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 6:46 pm

Men's restroom (washroom), third stall, Victoria Station, London UK

I wish all the answers in life were simple and pain free (for me)