Faithful TWAT lads 3rd safari - Now in Yaoundé

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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 12:19 am

You guys remember Tony Nw0lu? Well, when his last safari ended he never twigged, but instead, the bait moved on, albeit extremely slowly. He was supposed to meet with the TWAT officials in Garoua back in early August, but went silent. But as all good lads, he came back, in late September...

Quote:

Hello Rev,

sorry i have not relied your email all this while.it is just that things turn around as expected .the projection i thought would be the actual cost of the journey seem not to be it which means i have to still raise some more money to be able to pay for my flight down to garoua.

i am really sorry for this disappointment but i need to say it that i am really trying to raise the fund to come to garuoa to embark on my first assignment.so i only plead you give me some time more so i can raise fund as as soon as i get to garoua i will begin work on my first assignment also if there is anyway you can send me the details of the assignment it will be gladly appreciated so i can start work from home okay. please don't feel bad and discouraged the truth is that i will definitely come that is a promise i am only trying to raise some more funds to add to the one i got.

have a nice day

Tony NW0LU

I was busy with other baits, and besides, I thought it would do him good to be put a bit on ice, now that he went silent on us.

At October 12th, he was back:

Quote:

Hello Rev,

How is everything going with you and the entire missionary work ?hope all is well in Jesus name.please reverend i would like to know some few things from you as regards my coming because i will be coming this month as agreed with you on the other night we spoke on the phone.but i have a question to ask please kindly help me answer them because they are very crucial in the preparation for my coming.

1)please i would like to know if i am going to still buld the barnch of the church in nigeria and when?

2)also i would like to know when i come to garoua would i be working with the church on my first assignment i mean travelling to uganda about the case of the two nowergian merceinaries. or am i jsut coming to make arrangements for the building of the church branch in nigeria.

3)how long would i stay in cameroon if i come please i like to know.

i jsut hope you understand i just want to know some few things more about my coming.

have a nce day,

God BLess you

These are the two Norwegian mercenaries he's talking about - but they're in Congo, not Uganda. Wink

He's going to help Rev. Crockett, the High Inquisitor, mediate between the Congolese authorities and the accused Norwegians. This way, he won't have to found a new church in Nigeria - but he has to come to Congo. Twisted Evil

He seemed hooked, so this time, I called him back:

Tony_Nwolu_2011-10-12 time 20_27_07 s_Conference.mp3

A week later, he mailed me again:

Quote:

hello rev,
how is everything going with you?it has been a while i heard from you my coming to Cameroon is really fast approaching andi hope to meet up with you over there.the last time we spoke on phone you told me that i will no longer be coming to garoua but rather my destination will be in douala.so i told you to send me the adress which i am yet to recieve please i am worried i need to have it in time so that i can have an idea of the area i am going to in douala.

also previously the church owed me $1000 for the previous journey i made but didnt meet up with themplease when i come over to douala will i rceieve the money together with the reimbursement of my expenses to camerron?please i did like to know also please be informed that i will stay with you in congo to do the work as long as it takes okay the issue of two or three weeks have been cancelled so i would stay as long as you want me to.

i have to go now please your urgent response is neede in this matter so that i can prepare for my coming next week .pleassdo me the favour of replying this mail so i know hwere exactly am standing.

have a glorious day.

tony nwolu

But alas, I was on holiday in Germany, so all he got was:

Quote:

Hello Tony,

The phone connection here in Douala seems to be worse than that of Nigeria. Please, try if you can call me, or reply to this mail instead for communication. We have already wasted too much time.

God will bless this thing for us.
Rev. Crockett

Now followed a period of 10 days, in which I was either on holiday or busy, so Dr Mike was holding the flag during this. He will have to share whatever communication there was during this, but bottomline was, that Tony was supposed to go this weekend. But as communication from him had been scarce, we were a bit sceptic. However, we did manage to talk to him yesterday, on the phone, and he claimed to be on his way:

Tony_Nwolu_2011-10-30 time 12_22_03 s_Conference.mp3

All seemed fine. I was expecting the phone to call all day, but nothing happened - until 5.30 PM. 4 missed calls from a +237 number - Cameroon. It could only be him. I answered the 5th call, and Tony was on the other line, asking me to call him back. And so I did...

T0ny_Nw0lu_D0uala_2011-10-31 time 19_10_36 s_Conference.mp3

Dr Mike was taken away by RL, but as soon as he came back, he called Tony as rev. Bob:

T0ny_Nw0lu_D0uala_2011-10-31 time 21_09_52.mp3

And an hour later, the High Inquisitor called him back:

T0ny_Nw0lu_D0uala_2011-10-31 time 22_27_11 s.mp3

I'm holding my breath here! If we can get a 2nd lad to Congo, I'm gonna celebrate by drinking a whole damn keg of beer! Twisted Evil

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 12:29 am

FUULISH THREE TIME BLACK GOAT LOSER BOI!

Nice job, Dane. Good luck with Tony's 3rd! Laughing

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 12:36 am

Yup, his third safari, only that is an achievement in itself. However this is better than that. It is not like he have been on a Lagos-Cotonou safari or something similar. This is a list of his achievements.

- Went to N'Djamena

- Further on To Abeche where he called Rev. Bob diabolic and had to send a letter of apology.

- Went to Adre on the Sudanese border and got stredded there for almost a week before he fled home.

- A month later he went to Bauchi and slept on a bench outside the university and visited Cletus the Star Wars lad's old hotel.

- Almost found one of the mystic Safari camps in Yankari Park only to see the Boko Haram forcing the Church delegation to get evacuated by air to Garoua, leaving him there. There was some serious begging on the phone.

And still he come back for more. Yaounde tomorrow.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2003 Posts: 4747

A third safari? Wow! Thanks for demonstrating what a mugu will do when properly hooked!

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 10:14 am

Never underestimate a greedy mugu. He will follow you to the moon if he thinks he will get your dollars!!

In the adventure that Mike is referring to , the lad traded a few blow**s to get back home .I wonder what would he trade this time? Laughing

His worried father tried to call me and left a voicmail.
Here is it:
http://www.4shared.com/audio/q1z273OX/Tonys_father_.html

He's asking if I still communicating with his son.
No father, I'm not, but don't worry, he's in safe hands now, with two ruthless gangsters Mr. Green

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:56 am

Congo? I can put him in touch with Mr wa Mb@yo's family, if he needs somewhere to sleep.

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 1:33 pm

I love these safaris. Once a lad has invested some time and effort he will be very reluctant to let go.

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:04 pm

I love seeing a lad foolishly chasing the end of the rainbow! Great job Dane and Dr Mike!

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 8:30 pm

Three time loser wrote:

nowergian merceinaries

Nowergian Merceinary would make a nice custom tag. Razz

Great job, TD and Dr. M!

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:21 pm

Tony called me several times today, but alas there is some problems. Bob left Djoum just after noon and headed north to Yaounde to meet with Tony. He called me and i told him that i was a wee bit late and he wasn't very pleased with that. But he still headed towards Yaounde.
Later around 4 pm disaster struck. Bobs car had gotten stuck in the mud somewhere in the middle of the jungle. This of course caused Tony some distress as he was now in Yaounde waiting for Bob.

As time passed by Tony tried several times to call but the reception in southern Cameroon is terrible so he failed to reach Bob. But he did send a few letters. First one to Bob.

Quote:

hello rev bob,
i have gone to look for a place where to pass the night as it is geting late i dont know if we can still meet today.but if we cannot do me this favour when you get to doualla text me the name of the hotel you are going to lodge so i can come to meet up with you there anytime you arrive or in the morning or better still we meet at the place you asked me to meet you at thedjegaja palace so which ever one try and let me know now so i know how to plan tomorrow.

IP traced to Yaounde.

So first he cant find the T**T headquarters and then Bob cant meet him. I can only imagine the déjà vu feeling have now. Third time is a charm they say, but not for this lad.
He also send a letter to Rev. Crockett that somehow got redirected to Father Olaf.

Quote:

rev bob told me hes car sunk in a mud while coming down to doualla.i have been here waiting for him but all the same there is nothing i can do about it than hope he comes here sucessfully but from the look of things he will come here late in the night of which we might not be able to see each other today so he said i should inform you.but i hope we see tomorow pending on his respoinse to my email.please rev call me.

tony

Second night in Cameroon awaits.

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:48 pm

What a dipshit! Some lads are just begging for it Laughing

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:55 pm

Indeed it does.

Just before I went to the movies, I gave him this call:

T0ny_Nw0lu_D0uala_2011-11-01 time 17_31_43 s_Conference.mp3

Since I promised him to call back, I did. But much later than promised, of course. Laughing

T0ny_Nw0lu_Ya0unde_2011-11-02 time 00_33_48 s_Conference.mp3

He's either about to be seriously fucked in Yaoundé - or actually manages to raise the money and be seriously fucked in Brazzaville instead. Twisted Evil

Place your bets. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:04 am

Cameroon? I tried to get Alex Kelvin to meet me there a few months ago, and collect his £1000 GBP cash in person. He flatly refused to go to Cameroon.

Well Done!

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 8:12 am

Well, I think the safari may end soon. Got this sms from Tony this morning:

Quote:

I called my famly n they told me bluntly dat they cant snd me any dime dat if d church can not snd me mony 2 com down 2 congo then i shud com bak 2 Nigerian asap,

Rev. Crockett replied:

Quote:

Hello Tony,

I am in Kinshasa today, and will not be able to call you until night time. Have you heard from Rev. Bob? I am shocked to hear that your family refuses to help you. I thought they were good Christians like yourself. I will see what I can do from here, but I won't be able to get back to you until around 5-6 PM tonight. In the meantime, see if there is something else you can do.

I will mail you the address for TWAT in Brazzaville tonight, when I get back to my lodging.

We will succeed, Tony. The Lord wills it.

Rev. David Crockett

His feet are getting colder and colder.

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 8:43 am

The Monsignor wrote:

Congo? I can put him in touch with Mr wa Mb@yo's family, if he needs somewhere to sleep.

LOL!

He'll be the guest of honor at supper!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 27 Dec 2007 Posts: 33

If you ever fancy trying to get them to go to Gabon from Cameroon then I may be able to help with local calls. I work in Port Gentil and can spare a few XAFs for a sim and credit. I return there on 12th for 4 weeks.

Land border is easy to cross but getting them to take a boat from Douala to Libreville or POG could be interesting as the police will likely bust them on arrival, the ferry operaters don't warn about that in advance or they would lose the fare. Twisted Evil

Port Gentil is incredibly expensive for locals and expats alike.

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 10:58 am

The lad didn't really twig - but he doesn't want to play along anymore, either:

Quote:

hello rev,

how is evrything going?with the look of things i dont know what to say but if the church cannot send me mùoney by morning tomorrow for me to come to congo,because you can send me money thru wersstern union in ten minutes i will recive it here in camerron so the choice is up to the chuirch now because my money is almost exhausted and i dont want the same thing that happend in chad to happen to me again please you have to understand .
if i dont get anythiong positive tonight or before 9am in the morning then i will go back to nigeria because the money i have meft is my transport to nigeria and i cannot risk having it used it has been reduced again because i lodged in a hotel today so you have to understand what i am talking about so kindly please talk to the church for me if they are not able to send me money tomorrow morning i guess i will be leavingto nigeria because i was told bluntly by my friends and famlily before i left home that they will never send me money if i ask for one so please try an understand i have done my best to make thiis thing work any know also that it is not easy to tell somebody to come and he just keep coming not minding the risk involved so i think i have really done my best and god knows that hoping to hear from you toninght .

have a nice day.

He hasn't answered his phone, so I guess he is on his way back now. Well, he'll be back for more, I'm sure of it. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 11:59 am

It's a real downer when they go home. Like a mini bereavement.

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:21 pm

As far as this safari goes, this was a real bore. He is going home again. The main reason for this is perhaps the lack of time. If you have a lad on safari and you also have a job to do it is hard to take the time needed to guide your lad along the right path. The fact that this is the third time that Tony failed to meed any representative from the church may have contributed to his short safari.

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:43 pm

^^^ I'm on a similar Time Zone to W Africa and am usually available during afternoons/eves. I'm often happy to take Lad calls for Premium Members. Presently also have a Lagos tel no, which I'm trialling for a month or 2.

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