Lazy Hit Lad

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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:34 pm

I started this from a Hitlad email in the Surplus folder. It’s pretty boring, but it’s my first hitlad. It fizzled out very quickly and finally just went dead (apparently). Critiques / Suggestions are welcomed.

VICTIM wrote:

Forwarded conversation
Subject: RE: SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD
------------------------

From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Mon, Sep 26, 2011 at 9:35 PM
To: [email protected]

How am I supposed to pay?

KILLER wrote:

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From: AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER <[email protected]>
Date: Tue, Sep 27, 2011 at 4:16 PM
To: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>

Listing very conscientiously because I have giving you much time to comply with me, what you are going to see again will be catastrophic I need an immediate comply will good Email or I will take an action of what my boss was paid for, and don’t ever ask me to release your information because everything about you is with me right here Send this fee to my boss now for confirmation,

Here is the information to send the fee through Western Union Money Transfer

Receiver Name…. Emeka Omabala
Countrt…………….Benin Republic
City…………………Cotonue
Text Question……..AA111
Answer…………….We BB222
Amount…………….$
Mtcn………….?
Senders Name??//

AKAJACK BROWN KILLER

VICTIM wrote:

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From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Tue, Sep 27, 2011 at 7:48 PM
To: "AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER" <[email protected]>

Listen, I know what this is about. You don't have to tell me who your "boss" is because I already know. It's that bastard Ray Pugh, isn't it? OK, I'm willing to be reasonable here. What exactly do you want? Yes, I know you want money, and I'm willing to negotiate. How much fucking money do you want and where do want me to fucking send it?! Sorry, I don't mean to be rude. I just want to pay you and Ray Pugh, and get it over with!

VICTIM wrote:

---------

From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 6:57 PM
To: "AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER" <[email protected]>

OK, since you don't bother to reply with how much payment you want, I will make the decision. I think $400 is fair. I sent $400 to the address you gave me.

KILLER wrote:

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From: AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER <[email protected]>
Date: Thu, Sep 29, 2011 at 8:11 AM
To: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>

Listing I am giving you this warning for the last time, the amount you need to pay is $8000 and you have to send $3000 first to my boss for confirmation and when I release the tape out for you, you pay the balance of $5000, don’t ever fuck me up because if you dose I am going to blow out your intelligence

Here is the information to send the fee through Western Union Money Transfer send me the payment information immediately

Amount…………….$3000

VICTIM wrote:

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From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Thu, Sep 29, 2011 at 6:02 PM
To: "AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER" <[email protected]>

OK, but you need to listing to me to. I already sent $400, so I should now send the remaining amount ($2600). OK? No need to get angry and fumblegustered with me. I'm doing my best to take care of this. Just let me know if $2600 is OK since I already paid you $400.

KILLER wrote:

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From: AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER <[email protected]>
Date: Fri, Sep 30, 2011 at 1:00 PM
To: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>

Listing very clear, I don’t care who you are or what you do, MY NAME IS AKAJACK BROWN KILLER and don’t FUCK ME UP, I was paid for this assignment and the amount needed from you is $8000 which you are going to pay direct to my boss $3000 first and when I release the take of who needs you die, you pay the lingering equilibrium of $5000, don’t dam me because I am going to mutilate your body if you fuck up.

Forgive the comments below. I'm just trying to pry him away from the script.

VICTIM wrote:

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From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Fri, Sep 30, 2011 at 6:45 PM
To: "AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER" <[email protected]>

Jesus, chill out dude! I'm trying to work with you here, but you're too fucking stoopid to understand what I write. I'll bet you are a moslem--like that moslem shit we just killed in Yemen. Satan is fucking him in the ass as we speak, and he's waiting for you next.

OK, enough small talk, I already sent you $400. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? $400 USD!!! When you tell me you have received it, I will send the other $2200 dollars.

I had a hunch that he was ignoring my comments because he doesn't speak English. I decided to translate to French via Babblefish.

VICTIM wrote:

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From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Fri, Sep 30, 2011 at 10:08 PM
To: "AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER" <[email protected]>

Je crois que vous êtes trop stupides pour comprendre l'anglais, donc je vais essayer de tranlate. J'ai déjà envoyé 400 $. donc je doit maintenant envoyer le montant restant (2200 $). OK?

KILLER wrote:

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From: AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER <[email protected]>
Date: Sat, Oct 1, 2011 at 12:19 AM
To: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>

I don’t care the utterance you utilize here because this is me for an assignment, nothing more, I did not receive your $400, send me the Western Union Payment slip of the $400 that you sent and send the balance immediately

Receiver Name…. Emeka Omabala
Amount…………….$2600

Well, at least the lad can do simple arithmetic. Wink

VICTIM wrote:

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From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Sat, Oct 1, 2011 at 8:57 AM
To: "AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER" <[email protected]>

Je ne sais pas si j'ai encore le reçu. Je vais essayer de le trouver. J'ai envoyé les 400 $ d'Emeka Omabala au Bénin. 400 $, c'est beaucoup d'argent dans un pays non civilisé pauvre comme le Bénin. Vous devriez être reconnaissants d'avoir autant d'argent. J'ai entendu dire que les hommes au Bénin profiter pornagraphy homosexuel. Avez-vous passé les 400 $ pour les pornagraphy homesexual?

KILLER wrote:

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From: AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER <[email protected]>
Date: Sat, Oct 1, 2011 at 9:09 AM
To: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>

I don’t care the utterance you utilize here because this is me for an assignment, nothing more, now you are fucking me up, I will deal with you FOOL this is how you are going to fine your self soon

AKAJACK BROWN KILLER

VICTIM wrote:

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From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Sat, Oct 1, 2011 at 1:11 PM
To: "AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER" <[email protected]>

OK, I found the moneygram receipt. What address do you want me to send it to?

KILLER wrote:

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From: AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER <[email protected]>
Date: Sat, Oct 1, 2011 at 1:17 PM
To: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>

Scan the payment slip and attach it to my Email address now,

AKAJACK BROWN KILLER

VICTIM wrote:

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From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Sat, Oct 1, 2011 at 5:52 PM
To: "AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER" <[email protected]>

I don't have a scanner, I'll have to try to find a place to scan it on Monday.

KILLER wrote:

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From: AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER <[email protected]>
Date: Mon, Oct 3, 2011 at 8:37 AM
To: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>

I am still waiting to receive a scan copy of the payment slip, don’t ever delay me because I have many assignments to accomplish

AKAJACK BROWN KILLER

VICTIM wrote:

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From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Mon, Oct 3, 2011 at 9:30 PM
To: "AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER" <[email protected]>

I found a scanner at the library. The scan is attached:
<sent renamed DLL fine>

KILLER wrote:

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From: AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER <[email protected]>
Date: Tue, Oct 4, 2011 at 2:12 PM
To: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>

You are giving me more stresses here and I don’t need it anymore, I contacted my boss now and He instructed me that he will not receive any payment through Bank Transfer and He is giving you this last warning to send the fee by Western Union Money Transfer or I will abide by the obligation giving to me.

Receiver Name…. Emeka Omabala
Mtcn………….?

VICTIM wrote:

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From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Tue, Oct 4, 2011 at 8:04 PM
To: "AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER" <[email protected]>

What in the hell are you talking about? I sent you the receipt like I promised. I am beginning to think you are a joker. If you are not smart enough to collect my payment, I will try to get a refund trom Moneygram tomorrow.

KILLER wrote:

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From: AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER <[email protected]>
Date: Wed, Oct 5, 2011 at 1:56 AM
To: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>

This is AKAJACK BROWN KILLER and I said FUCK YOU, nothing show up in the slip that you sent, I WILL FUCK YOU if you don’t Resend the payment slip again or send me the Money Gram Control Number MTCN and Senders Name of the Money

VICTIM wrote:

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From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Wed, Oct 5, 2011 at 4:50 AM
To: "AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER" <[email protected]>

I already sent you the receipt! The receipt is a scan picture file attached to the emial. Just in case, I have attached it again to this email.

VICTIM wrote:

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From: XXX XXXXXXXX <[email protected]>
Date: Fri, Oct 7, 2011 at 8:43 AM
To: "AKAJACK BROWN, KILLER" <[email protected]>

I checked Money Gram yesterday. You never collected the money, so I got a refund.