High-quality script begs for massbait...

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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 11:42 am

Well, I'm bullshitting about the quality being high.

From <>

Quote:

ATTENTION,
Greets to you my deariest friend how are u doing hope all is going very smoothly with you
and your family?because as for me mine and family is well ok but i that Allah for making
both of us to see this wonderful day.
My name is united nation secretary general Ghana Togo i am contacting
you in regards of two truck of consignment boxes containing a urge and spendable amount of
money in it that worth the sum of (40,000,million united states dollars)because these boxes
where found earlier today by my diplomat Mr when i assign him to clear one Mr
boxes to him from the security store house over here in kotoka international
airport a foreign beneficiary that lives in Florida when diplomat akwete get to the security
house earlier today as i have instructed he find these two truck of consignment boxes also
and some of the documents assign for the delivery of it has been issued in your name and
also your email address where issued in it also that is the reason why he decided to pass
this information to me so that i can contact you for him to make delivery to you as soon as
possible but before he can exist from kotoka international
airport with these boxes you are ask to send all the necessary information that is stated
in the email above so that i can present it to diplomat for him to know your
destination over there in your country so that there shall be no delivery of these boxes to
wrong foreign beneficiary after you have send all the necessary information instructed back
to me i am going to send u the united nation delivery forms for you to fill and also send it
back to me so that i can present it to the Ghana port authority officers over here for them
to verify that you are the rightful and bonafied owner of these boxes so that there shall be
no interruption of the Interpol and also the security officers over there in your country so
my dear friend these are the information that is demanded...

1)....SCENE COPY OF YOU INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR WORKING PASSPORT
2)....THE NAME OF THE NEAREST AIRPORT CLOSE TO YOU
3)....YOUR OCCUPATION
4)....YOUR RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
5)....THE STATES THAT YOU LIVE
6)....YOUR PRIVATE MOBILE NUMBER OF FAX

So my dear friend these are the necessary information that you need to send accross so that
they can be presented to the Ghana port authority after that i am going to send u the united
nation delivery form for you to fill and also send it back to me as soon as possible so that
diplomat akwete kwame will have all legal right to exist from kotoka international airport
Ghana because the private commercial jet that is about to take diplomat akwete kwame to your
country has all be arrange by me the general is for you to pls send all these information
accross so that he� can be able to exist from the airport to meet with you if u dont mine u
can contact me on my mobile number that is attached to the mail that u are reading thanks
for accepting my mail my deariest friend i will be looking forward to hear from you as soon
as possible,
BEST REGARDS FROM
(GENERAL UNITED NATION SECRETARY GENERAL GHANA TOGO)
MOBILE NUMBER...+

Slappy suggested that as baiters reply with deliberately bad English.

However you do it, he's all yours.

Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 12:05 pm

That has to be one of the longest sentences I've ever seen. Laughing

Where is the lad located, Ghana or Togo?

Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 12:17 pm

Can't tell from header analysis - stupid thing resolves to Sunnyvale California.

The phone number is Ghanian though.

Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 12:28 pm

Just replied thus:

Quote:

I dont understnad qiute where this is hadeing, yuore teling me abuot money but I dont se where its mine, I dont know anhoyne in yuor prat of the wrold, plaese explian.

Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 2:38 pm

I didn't know James Joyce was scamming now...

Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 11:10 pm

Well, he replied to Mal:

Quote:

Thanks for Ur respond it is my pleasure to hear frm u and i am so impress consigning Ur question so how are u doing with Ur family hope u all are doing very good?because as for me mine and family are very well ok but u thank Allah for given us life to see this wonderful day.
Sir if u may know is a foreign beneficiary that lives in Florida is boxes where found in our security store house that is the reason why i assign diplomat to clear it frm the security store house so when he get to the security store house to clear frank Morgan boxes to him as i told u earlier he found these two consignment boxes that belongs to u that is the reason why he decided to contact me so that i can pass this information to u and as for akwete kwame is my diplomat that is assign for the delivery of boxes to all foreign beneficiary around the world so sir hope i have make me self clear to u i will like u to pls send all the necessary information that is instructed in the last mail i send to u so that i can present it to the Ghana port authority officers so that they can verify that u are the rightful and bonafied owner of these boxes thanks for ur respond i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm Ur

And here I was thinking that he couldn't get any worse!

Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 3:30 am

I sent him this back from my curry account:

Quote:

मैं माफी चाहता हूँ, लेकिन मैं अंग्रेजी बहुत अच्छी तरह से बात नहीं करते.यह सब क्या मतलब है?

it translates to: "I am sorry, but I do not speak english very well. what does this all mean?"

I wonder if he can be bothered to look it up in google translate? Wink

Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 9:43 am

First, Brad...

The Lad wrote back at length and with detail.

Quote:

Thanks for Ur respond to my mail it is my pleasure to hear frm u because i have be thinking what is the problem that makes me not to hear frm u ever since but i thank Allah that u write to me but i am really sorry for not be able to write to u on time it is because i am very busy all through the day in my office so how are u doing hope all is very well ok with u and also Ur family?because as for me mine and also my family is very well ok but i thank Allah for making both of us to see this wonderful day.
Sir i want u to know that we just got a report frm the united nation head office in London that we need to clear all consignment boxes frm our security store house here in kotoka international airport to different foreign beneficiary around the world so when i assign my diplomat Mr to clear one Mr consignment boxes frm the security store house a foreign beneficiary that live in Florida when he get to the security store house he found these two truck on consignment boxes also and some of the documents assign for the delivery of it has been issued in Ur name and also Ur email address as the foreign beneficiary to receive that is the reason why diplomat decided to pass this information to me so that i can be able to contact u for him to make the delivery to u as soon as possible and the private commercial jet that is about to take diplomat akwete kwame to Ur country has ready for delivery and the charges has been paid all i want for u is for the necessary information about urself that is instructed in the mail i send to u so that i can be able to present it to the Ghana port authority officers for them to verify that u are the rightful and bonafied owner of these two truck of consignment so my dear friend i will be waiting for the information so that i can be able to send to u the united nation delivery form to fill and also send it back to me so that i can also present it to the Ghana custom officers for the to grant diplomat akwete kwame frm kotoka international airport with these two truck of consignment boxes to meet with u over there in Ur country and i want u to always remember that there shall be a compensation to me and also diplomat after delivery of these boxes to u thanks for Ur respond Mr Bardley i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm Ur

Brad's reply in turn -

Quote:

I worte as son as I cuold, so I dont know what yuo maen abuot not haetring form me, but yuove got me cofnused, who tlod yuo poeple that the money bloengs to me, like I siad I dont know anoyne in yuor neck of the wods.

- got even more detail:

Quote:

Thanks for Ur respond again it is my pleasure to hear frm u once again so how are u doing hope all is very well ok with u and also Ur family?because as for me mine is very well ok but thank Allah mostly for making both of us to see this wonderful day.
Sir i want u to know that these boxes belong to a little boy frm Libya name these boxes where seized frm the hand of the little boy when our custom officer found him carry the boxes when they scene the boxes to know what is inside to confirm that it was a urge and spendable amount of money due to the process they arrested the little boy for monetary laundry and was sent to jail so we got a report frm the united nation head office in London that we need to clear all boxes frm our security store so when my diplomat get there he found these boxes and some of the document assign for the delivery of it has been issued in ur name so when we contact the little in jail in told us that it was a missionary woman name Mrs that he found in the Ghana boarder a bandering between Ghana and Togo where the Ghana custom officer arrested him that give him ur contact to reach u that u are a very honest person that is the reason why he decided to deposited it in ur name as the foreign beneficiary to receive it so my dear friend i believe that now u have understand are come we have Ur contact so my dear friend i want u to pls send all the necessary information about urself that is instructed in the last mail i send to u so that i can be able to present it to the Ghana custom officer for them to verify that u are the rightful and bonafied owner of these boxes thanks Mr Bradley for Ur respond i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur

All these names made Brad's head hurt:

Quote:

Frist it was Frank Mogran and akwete Kawme and then its Abdul Samali and Raise Apaih and money form Libay and OMG Im cofnused and I dont know what some misionry shiela wuild be diong teling yuo abuot me cos Ive never haerd of any of there poeple and if I take to money what hapens to the kid oin goal?

The General was quite understanding:

Quote:

Thanks for Ur respond again so how are u doing hope all is very well ok with u and also Ur family?because as for me mine is very good but i thank Allah mostly.
My dear i want u to know that i understand what u are saying but is a foreign beneficiary that live in Florida my diplomat suppose to clear is boxes frm our security store house to him on getting there i also found these two truck of consignments boxes that has been issued in Ur name as the foreign beneficiary to receive it that is the reason why he decided to pass the information to me so that i can be able to contact u and as for the kids he was arrested and charge for monetary laundry and when diplomat akwete make delivery to u i they are to to release the little boy so that i can be able to come over to Ur country to continue is education and as for the the missionary woman is the one that give the little boy Ur contact that u are a very honest person that is the reason why he decided to deposited the boxes in ur name as the foreign beneficiary to receive it so my dear friend there is no time for any delay all what i am demanding frm u now is for all the necessary information about urself so that i can send u the united nation delivery form to fill and also send it back to me so that i can be able to present it to the Ghana custom officers for them to verify that u are the rightful owner of these boxes before they can grant diplomat akwete to exist frm kotoka international airport with these boxes thanks for Ur respond Mr Bardley i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm Ur

I hope this doesn't upset him too much:

Quote:

Yuore talking abupt the ned for sped, but if that kid is in goal for money luandry then if I take tne money wont that make me an acesory or soemhting like taht, same with the misoinary shiela, yuo ned to pormise me that I wont be in truoble if I agre to acept the cash.

With Mal, there are signs of unhappines. First Mal wrote:

Quote:

That's not much of an explanation. I would be interested to know what you mean by "foreign beneficiary" in this context. Is running some sort of clearing house for dceased estates?

The Lad was OK at first:

Quote:

Thanks for Ur respond it is my pleasure to hear frm u once again so how are u doing over there with Ur family hope all is very well ok with u all?because as for me and also my family we are very well ok but i thank Allah mostly for give us a brighter day like this.
Sir i want u to know a foreign beneficiary is a person that receive funds frm Africa like as u are now u are a foreign beneficiary because u have a fund here in our custody and as for is united nation delivery diplomat that is assign for the delivery of funds frm Africa to different foreign beneficiary around the world he not into clearing estate so my dear friend hope i make my self clear so my dear friend i want u to pls send me all the necessary information that i want frm u so that i can be able to send to u the united nation delivery form to fill and send it back to me so that i can be able to present it to the Ghana custom authority officers for they to verify that u are rightful and bonafied owner of these boxes so that the mine grant diplomat akwete frm kotoka international airport with these boxes to meet with u because the private commercial jet that is about to take him to ur destination is ready for delivery all what is delaying him to now is for the information pls i want u to pls send those information accross so that he mine make the delivery to u as soon as possible thanks and remain bless Mr Reynolds i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur

But then Mal wrote:

Quote:

I don't recall ever having any money in Africa. I also don't know how my personal details could end up being attached to that stash. That has me beat.

The result was a lot shorter:

Quote:

Thanks for ur respond to my mail so how are u doing hope all is very well ok with u all?because as for me mine is very well ok.
Sir i want u to know that these are all what are have to say if u are no interested in receiving these boxes forget it so that i can deposited it another foreign beneficiary name thanks and remain bless

Mal shot back:

Quote:

If it's got my name and address on it, how can you give it to someone else? I didn't expect you to chuck a snit because I asked a question! A simple answer would have been enough - if you don't know, then say so.

More to come...

Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:48 pm

Quote:

containing a urge and spendable amount of
money

I have an 'urge' to do something to this guy .. but it isn't legal in any country .. well except maybe 'Sealand'.

Oh BTW this really impresses the lads
your very own lord/lady title and it's legit.

http://www.sealandgov.org/shop.html#Titles

BTW you can bait lads saying you come from Sealand but remember it's smaller than an oil platform and also there are ITP involved.

http://www.sealandgov.org/

Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:50 pm

Quote:

40,000,million united states dollars

In two boxes? Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 2:34 am

Mr. Gomer got in on the fun, too. Smile

Quote:

From: Gomer
To: grillogeneralyusuf
Sent: Saturday, October 1, 2011

Subject: Regarding your most eucalyptizing offer to me

Dearest Secretary General Sir Mr. Ghana Tobe Grilled Man:

You refer to me as your dearest friend, and so I shall reimburse your
offer and raise you one
by responding to this attached email of yours elegantly and most
professionally transmitted
to my attention grabbing email box. Smoothness in my business
dealings is the hallmark and
motto of my most successful business enterprise and also my family
which is also deeply involved
in all of my undertakings. Allah has no bearing on anything I do, as
i am an equal opportunity
businessman, and I will get what I want no matter who my partner worships.

Although I have never heard of your eminent countenance before, two
trucks full of trunk boxes
filled with urgent does strike my fancy pins right up the alley of my
varnished plank office floors.

Please instruct and order your Diplomat, Mr. Hackeweed Swami to email
me about the rest of
your painfully misconstrudiated and compligobbled proposal to me, and
have him send the paper
scribblings you require to my office, "Attention: Chairman Gomer."

Discombobulations and fallacious salutations forever,

Chairman Gomer

I never thought he would write back, really. My email was ridiculous.
We do have a dumbass here, for sure. Laughing

Quote:

Generalyusuf Grillo to me
show details Oct 1 (3 days ago)

HELLO MR GOMER,
Thanks for Ur respond to my mail it is my pleasure to hear frm u because i have be think of are to reach u ever since u have not reply to the mail i send u but it thank Allah that u write to me so how are u doing over there with Ur family hope all is very well ok with u all?because as for me and also mine family we are all doing good but i thank all mostly for making us to see this wonderful day sir i am sorry that i did not write to u on time it is because i am very busy in my office that is the reason why i cannot be able to write to u on time i am really sorry for that delay sir i want u to to pls send all the necessary information about urself that is instructed in the email i send to u so that i can be able to present it to the Ghana port authority officers for them to verify that u are the rightful and bonafied owner of these boxes after that i will send to u the united nation delivery form to fill and also send it back to me so that i can be able to present it to the Ghana custom officers for them to be able to grant diplomat akwete kwame frm kotoka international airport Ghana with this two truck of consignment boxes to meet with u over there in Ur country and i want u to always remember that there shall be a compensation to me and also diplomat akwete kwame after he has make the delivery to u thanks for Ur respond i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm Ur

REGARDS....

(GENERAL YUSUF GRILLO UNITED NATION SECRETARY GENERAL GHANA TOGO)

WHAAAAAT? No matter. Laughing

edit: Mr. Gomer wrote his last long email to the lad, just so he understands just what he might be getting into before the fun starts. Smile

Quote:

Dearest Secretary General Sir Mr. Ghana Tobe Grilled Man:

I was indeed very hiphopped to respond to you right away, as your
offer of urgent was just too good to pass up. I love urgent. Urgent
makes my heart race with great anticipation. Urgent is what makes the
world go around. I simply cannot wait to take your urgent from you,
even if it is only ephemeral and ghostly urgent.

I am doing fine here without Allah. I do not need Allah to be a
success. I have my wits and vast intelligence to get exactly what I
want from every business associate that I decide to ripoff in my
inimitable style, as you will soon be lucky to experience first hand.
Perhaps your enlightenment after doing business with me shall cause
you to reevaluate your business model and find a more profitable
undertaking that is more suited to your densely inferior business
methods and modalities.
In any event, it should be very fruitful working with you, I am sure
of it. And I am never wrong about my predictions of currency flowing
into my Family coffers.

I am glad that your family are all doing good. They should thank
their lucky stars that they did not run into anyone the likes of
myself without Allah on their side, or I'm sure things could have been
tear jerky and unfortunate. The delays that you mentioned in
responding to me were somewhat distressing and I will not tolerate any
more of your dilly dally and wing wonging ways in the future. Three
hours in responding to an important request from your Chairman here,
me, is far too much time to delay. Please attempt to act more
businesslike and respond within the hour.

Now, lookee here, my good man. I ordered you to have that Kuuame
character send me an email so we could get on with our business
dealings, and so far I have not heard from him. So it would behoove
you to stress the importance of such an undertaking by Mr. Kuuhomme to
correspond with me, immediately, if not sooner. I do not like
Tambambling business associates mucking up my Paranoid transactions.
Delays caused by being a damn Dramaqueen will only make me want fries
with that.

I do not comprehend the need for the information that you desired from
me, but here are the answers to your inconsequential and unnecessarily
inconvenient tripe-like protestabubilisions.

1)....SCENE COPY OF YOU INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR WORKING PASSPORT
Sending copies of passports is illegal. You should know better than
to ask a serious businessman to comply with this idiotic request.

2)....THE NAME OF THE NEAREST AIRPORT CLOSE TO YOU
I am an international businessman. The closest airport depends on
where I am at the moment. This is another stupid question from a
so-called serious person?

3)....YOUR OCCUPATION
You know already.

4)....YOUR RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
This is none of your business, as I receive daily death threats from
old business partners, who are under the delusion that I actually owe
them something.

5)....THE STATES THAT YOU LIVE
Please read number 4.

6)....YOUR PRIVATE MOBILE NUMBER OF FAX
Once I trust you, I may give it to you. Remember, I said, may.

Let's get ready to rumble.

Discombobulations and fallacious salutations forever,

Chairman Gomer

edit: Well he did write back, but he doesn't understand me? Phony details for a moron coming up.. Laughing

Quote:

HELLO MR GOMA,
Thanks for Ur respond it is my pleasure to hear frm u once again so how are u doing hope all is very well ok with u?because as for me mine is very well ok too .
My dear i cannot understand what u are saying can u pls put it to my understanding i want u to know that there is no way that my diplomat can make delivery to u without this information i am asking frm u because it is the information that i will present to the Ghana port authority over there for them to verify that u are the rightful owner of these boxes so my dear friend if u dont want to send those information accross forget about this transaction thanks for Ur responding i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm Ur,

SINCERE..

(GENERAL YUSUF GRILLO UNITED NATION SECRETARY GENERAL GHANA TOGO)

unbelieveable moron.. Smile

Edit: Update. Mr Gomer wrote back incredibly dense lad:

Quote:

Dearest Secretary General Sir Mr. Ghana Tobe Grilled Man:

How presumtuous of me to think that a man of your stature would have a
thorough grasp of the English language, or access to a proper English
translator at your United Nations Headquarters Building in Ghana, an
English speaking country.
I am somewhat disappointed in the choice that your country has made in
it's decisions regarding appointing world representatives to represent
your country, however.
Don't you agree?

I gave you the information you required already, in fact, you screwed
up the most
important part of my personal details in your last email. You called
me Mr. Goma.
That is not my name. Now, how can I trust that you will even get the
rest of my details
correct, after mucking that one so badly, I ask you? This is not a
good start for you,
General. Why not use your head for something besides a hat rack the next time
you have an inkling to write to me again.

Is that all clear as mud now to your befuddled and feeble mind?

Let's just get with business. Have your Mr. Kwame write to me.
Perhaps he can speak
English and not Gobbledeegook, like you seem to speak. Then we just
might get somewhere in this transaction. Be snappy about it, too. I
do not have all the time in the world
for you to be disenmerated and cobgobbled.

Discombobulations and fallacious salutations forever,

Chairman Gomer

edit: Update: I gave him a quick poke and his precious informations that he needs. Damn dumbass script stickler. Mad

Quote:

Dearest Grillo General,

Where is that email from your man Kwame? I have gotten nothing from him.
You may use these details to put on your insignificant form.
My nearest airport is High Plains Drifter Airport, 234419
Filthyrangebum Lane, Lago, Arizona.
You may use the airport address as my address, and Hanger 15.
My Hoccupation is financial portfolio Chairman, Arizona State World
Ripoff Businesses.
You may only ring my line and are only authorized at this time to
leave me a message
on my answering machine. I will not return your call this month as I
am a very busy
man. Please leave a message with my secretary, Dana Scully.

Discombobulations and fallacious salutations forever,

Chairman Gomer

N.B. Please be more timely in your responses back to me from now on.

edit: Dumb as a stump wrote back and gave me a form:

Quote:

HELLO MR GOMER,
Thanks for ur respond it is my pleasure to hear frm u once again so how are u doing hope all is very well ok with u and also ur family because as for me mine is very well ok with my family..
Sir i want u to know that i have presented the information of urself that u send to me to the Ghana port authority officers and they have verify that u are the rightful and bonafied owner of these boxes so my diplomat is about to exist frm kotoka international airport Ghana to ur country airport we just got a report frm Ghana custom officers that u need to fill the united nation delivery form that is attached to this mail that u are reading and also send it accross to me so that it can be given to diplomat akwete kwame so that as soon as he arrive ur country airport he is going to present it to the port land custom officers over there in ur country so that they will grant him to exist frm the airport over there in ur country so that there shall be no interruption of the interpols and also the security officers over there in ur country as soon as he arrive ur country airport so my dear friend i will be waiting to have the united nation delivery form that is attached to this mail so that i can be able to exist frm the airport to meet with u at once thanks for ur respond Mr Gomer i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

SINCERE.....

(GENERAL YUSUF GRILLO UNITED NATION SECRETARY GENERAL GHANA TOGO)

edit: Another day, another email...

Quote:

Dearest Secretary General Sir Mr. Ghana Tobe Grilled Man:

Attached please find the completed form that you sent me.
Let's get on with business, shall we? Your delays are eucalyptisizing me.
And where is that email from your delivery boi or whatever he calls
himself, Mr. Kwami?
Is he ever going to write to me? Did you tell him to write me yet?
Are you a nincompoop? Listen to me, man. I do not like to repeat
myself.

Discombobulations and fallacious salutations forever,

Chairman Gomer

Sent him back his form with freehand mouse-writing in paint..barely readable..

edit: Update. He's still with me. Rolling Eyes

Quote:

HELLO MR GOMER,
thanks for sending the form accross to me and it is my pleasure to hear frm u once again so how are u doing hope all is well ok with u?because as for me mine is very well OK but i thank Allah mostly for given life.

Sir want u to know that i have presented the form in which send to me to the ghana custom officer over here in kotoka international airport ghana and they have verify that u are the rightful owner of these boxes as i am writing's to u now the scene copy have been given to diplomat akwete kwame that is about to exist frm the airport to meet with u he was about to exist frm the airport now through the private commercial jet we just got a report frm the ghana port authority that we need to obtain (DISPATCH CERTIFICATE) their office and these certificate will cost u the sum of (550 dollars)to obtain it from the office of the port authority over here at the airport fore them to grant diplomat akwete kwame to exist frm the airport to make delivery to u as soon as possible so my dear friend i want u to pls write to me as soon as possible so that i can know Ur interest consigning these transaction so that i can send to u the name of the ghana port authority officer that u are going to send the money to thanks for Ur respond Mr Gomer,i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,
SINCERE..

(GENERAL YUSUF GRILLO UNITED NATION SECRETARY GENERAL GHANA TOGO)

Ah, the old diplomat stuck at the airport routine. Neutral

Mr. Gomer shouts back:

Quote:

Dearest Secretary General Sir Mr. Ghana Tobe Grilled Man:

Greetings to you although I can tell you right now that I am very displeased
with the content of your latest coorespondence, General. It sounds like a lot
of hokey balokey cobgobbling gobbledeegook from you again. I have traveled all
over the world, been in thousands of airports, including the ones in Ghana, and
there is no such thing as a DISPATCH CERTIFICATE to allow a diplomat to exist
in an airport. I think that the Ghana port authority officer is trying to
extorterate money oout of your diplomat, Mr. Kwame. He wants a bribe to let him
pass. This is what I want from you, General:
1. A copy of that so-called "DISPATCH CERTIFICATE"
2. An email from Mr. Kwame, explaining things.
3. An email from this Ghana Port Authority officer, cunniveling his end of this
transaction and why he wants to extorterate money from Mr. Kwame.

Send all three to me by the end of the day. ACT FAST!

Discombobulations and fallacious salutations forever,

Chairman Gomer

I'm sure the lad will fail to do anything I ask. He's too lazy, I fear. Smile

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 9:17 am

Mal has left, certain that the General is trying to smuggle Ghaddafi funds to the West, leaving Brad to keep things going.

Now Brad got that form, and he's confused:

Quote:

That from has me baet, I dont know hlaf the ansewrs, I dont know waht RCRV CORR or SEND CORR are, whats an ABA No, and why do tehy wants to know my religoin, the blody UN deosnt ned to know that info.

After a little prodding the General supplied some info, and... well, take a look!

Quote:

(RCRV)...MEANS..(.R.).FOR ..RESIDENT..C..FOR..THE COUNTRY THAT U CAME FRM...(.R.).STAND FOR ..RECEIVERS NAME OF THE PERSON THAT WANT TO RECIEVE THESE BOXES ...(.V.).STAND FOR VITUALIZATION TO VITALIZE WHEN U WANT DIPLOMAT AKWETE TO MAKE DELIVERY TO U IF U WANT IT VERY URGENT U WILL FILL IT IN THE FORM.
AND AS FOR THE (CORR) SIGNIFY THAT( C)...STAND FOR THE COUNTRY THAT U CAME FRM...(.O)..STAND FOR THE ORIGIN OF WHERE U CAME FRM...(.R)...STAND FOR UR RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS.(.R.).. STAND FOR UR RELIEVANT CODE OF UR HOUSE......

I think that Brad is going to see a geek nephew about getting a virtual address for the delivery. The Lad did say that one was needed!

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 11:03 am

Quote:

(RCRV)...MEANS..(.R.).FOR ..RESIDENT..C..FOR..THE COUNTRY THAT U CAME FRM...(.R.).STAND FOR ..RECEIVERS NAME OF THE PERSON THAT WANT TO RECIEVE THESE BOXES ...(.V.).STAND FOR VITUALIZATION TO VITALIZE WHEN U WANT DIPLOMAT AKWETE TO MAKE DELIVERY TO U IF U WANT IT VERY URGENT U WILL FILL IT IN THE FORM.
AND AS FOR THE (CORR) SIGNIFY THAT( C)...STAND FOR THE COUNTRY THAT U CAME FRM...(.O)..STAND FOR THE ORIGIN OF WHERE U CAME FRM...(.R)...STAND FOR UR RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS.(.R.).. STAND FOR UR RELIEVANT CODE OF UR HOUSE......

Erm no, R stands for RIDICULOUS as in what this guy is babbling about, the C stands for CRAP (see previous) .. R stands for RETARDED and V stands for VEGETABLE ..
CORR stands for COR BLIMEY what a load of SHIT.
Rolling Eyes

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 1:16 pm

I think you are right, wowwow. But, if he knows the codes for his forms, how come Mr. Gomer's emails go right over his head? It's not like Mr. Gomer is hiding anything about what is in store for the lad's future. Laughing

Here's more of the Mr. Gomer story with The General:

Quote:

HELLO MR GOMA,
Thanks for ur respond but i want to use this time out to let u know that there is no way i can send u the scene copy of the dispatch certificate it is only when u make the payment of the money that is when these certificate can be handed over to me frm the office of the Ghana custom officer so my dear friend i want u to know that this is the only certificate that u can obtain so that diplomat can be able to make delivery to u so my dear friend i will like to know frm u if u still want these boxes if yes u can i want u to pls write to me so that these certificate can be obtain and also proceed on the delivery to u thanks and remain bless frm Ur sincere,
(general yusuf grillo united nation secretary general Ghana Togo)

Damn, I forgot to slap him for getting my name wrong! Evil or Very Mad

I'm sure there will be more time to go back to that. Smile

Quote:

Listen to me, General Grillo.

When I make a request of a business associate, I fully expect that
associate to do
exactly as I requested, or I look elsewhere for a better opportunity,
and then I take
everything away from the former potential associate without regrets,
remorse, or second thoughts about the devastation it will cause the
first party. This is the way my Family has always done things, and we
are very very good at it, so take
heed of my words. Allah or whatever you call him never stands in my
way, so you are wasting your time if you expect any help from him
regarding your business with me. I think he might just approve of
what I am doing, actually, as I never lie about what I intend to do to
any honest person I come in contact with.
So, are you being honest with me, General, or are you just blowing
bullshit out of your pie hole? You can tell me the truth. I'm a good
listener.

First of all, I never asked you for a copy of the "signed form." I do
expect that if it is indeed real, that fees could be required for it's
release. However, an "unsigned form," a blank form would prove to me
that it does in fact exist. So, send me a blank DISPATCH CERTIFICATE.
This request is not too much for you to handle, I'm sure of it. So,
go obtain one, and send it to my attention rrrright away.

Also, I told you to have both your Diplomat, Kwame, and the Ghana Port
Authority Officer to send me emails. They have not. Take care of
that.
I expect emails sent to me from both of these clowns, immediately, or I will not
take you seriously, General Grillo.

I expect both emails by the end of the day. And a blank copy of the
certificate.

Good day.

Discombobulations and fallacious salutations forever,

Chairman Gomer

I expect another repeat performance of nothingness, just excuses. Mad

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 7:29 pm

^^^^
Your replies reduced me to a fit of the giggles.
I was obliged to down a Zubrowka in your honour, another to the health of mr Goma, yet another to your secretary Dana Scully and finally one to your happily named airport to recover.

Goma, of course, means condom in Spanish. Twisted Evil

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:01 am

@PB - Four drinks of Zubrowka? Better watch it! That stuff will kill ya. Doesn't it have paint stripper in it? Wink

Thanks for the info on the name.
The nerve of that man, comparing Mr. Gomer to such a device! Is this the true meaning of "safe baiting?" Shocked

General Grillo stands firm on the certificate, but does he relent on the two
clowns sending him emails?? Gobbledeegook sure is hard to understand. Laughing

Quote:

HELLO MR GOMA,
I want u to listen to me and listen attentively there is no way that the Ghana custom officers can obtain this dispatch certificate that they are demanding for UN else u make the payment of the (550 dollars)that is only when i can be able to send the scan copy of the certificate to u i want u to know that if u dont want to receive this boxes just write to me because i have send my time and effort just to make sure that u receive this boxes so if u said that u dont want it i think that will be more better instead of stressing me because of u i will leave what i am doing in my office just to respond to Ur mail but if u said that u did not need it i think that will be better so that i can assign my diplomat to assign it to another foreign beneficiary that have not be able to receive is boxes because i know that there are so many foreign beneficiary that will be happy to receive it so my dear friend as for diplomat akwete kwame my diplomat he is going to contact u because i m going to inform him so that he can be able to write to u and as for the port authority they are going to still inform u thanks for Ur respond Mr Goma i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm Ur,

SINCERE...

(GENERAL YUSUF GRILLO UNITED NATION SECRETARY GENERAL GHANA TOGO)

edit: Update. Mr Gomer is getting slightly annoyed. Smile

Quote:

Subject: Finally, I believe that we are getting somewhere

Dearest General Grillo Man:

I'm so pleased to have received your email with such a favorable response for
once. I was beginning to think that this transactions was all a ruse, a nefarious
phantom of a transaction, with no basis or bearing on real existence at all.
You convinced me to go ahead with your dialogical plans for me by giving me these
trunk boxes of urgent. Make no mistake, I am definitely interested in proceeding
in this, leaving all the bamboozled hastiness behind me. So, let us proceed, shall we?

I will most definitely make the payment, General, but only if my conditions are met.
If you read my email correctly, I said that I do not want the "scene" copy,k as you called
it, but just a blank "unscened" form from you, just to prove to me that such a
certificate actually existed. Please send me the "Unscened blank unfilled out form."
If it is indeed genuine, and issued by the Ghana Port Authority as an official form,
I will gladly send you your 550 dollars. Provided also that the next two conditions of
mine are met.

Number one: I still require an email from Mr. Kwame. I intend to wait till eternity
freezes over if necessary, so have him send me an email, rrrrrrright away!

Number two: I require an email from the Ghana Port Authority Officer, explaining
the meaning of this email, and this certificate himself, by writing to me here
at this email address.

These conditions and requests are something that any serious businessman can
easily provide, and I see no reason for you General to fail at being serious
with me in any way. After all, Generals are almost as important as Chairmans
are to the business world, and you are no exception to the rules of seriousness.
So, ACT FAST! and provide me with the three simple things I require here, and then
I will continue with this transaction. Please stop your delays, and let's get a
move on! Do you think I have all day and night to waste chasing down your countries'
bureaucrats to get them to do their jobs properly? I might be the most powerful
Chairman in the world, but that doesn't mean that I am going to hold hands with
Mr. Kwame and the Ghana Port Authority Officer that think they are a bigshots by
holding up multithousand dollar business deals. I will take no guff and delays from
low paid civil servants here, General. I want those emails from them now, do you
hear me! Now! Do not make me come down there and slap those two slackers, General.

I expect both emails by the end of the day. And a blank "unscened" copy of the
certificate.

Good day.

Discombobulations and fallacious salutations forever,

Chairman Gomer

N.B. Please address me with my correct name from now on! Be serious about it.
I do not like being called Mr. "GOMA." It makes me angry, being compared to a
device that Generals such as yourself should be using 24/7 365 days!

I guess when you get a lad like this that you can slap so obviously in public, you would be a fool not to do it. Laughing

edit: General writes back, but it is not what Mr. Gomer wanted to hear! Mad

Quote:

HELLO MR GOMA,
Thanks for ur respond but i want to use this time out to let u know that there is no way diplomat akwete kwame or the Ghana port authority officer can be able to contact u because i am the only person that have access to contact u diplomat akwete is just to make delivery of these boxes to u as soon as he arrive ur country he is going to inform not now because all the necessary to the issue at hand lies in my hands so there is no way u should be looking kwame or Ghana port authority officer and as for the scan copy of the dispatch certificate there is no way it can be send to me only when u make the payment of the money that the Ghana custom are demanding for that is only when this certificate can be release so there is no way i can have the scan copy of the certificate i want u to know that if u are not serious in making the payment of the (550 dollars )to obtain the certificate forget this transaction because there so many foreign beneficiary outside there that is waiting to receive it thanks for ur respond i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

SINCERE....

(GENERAL YUSUF GRILLO UNITED NATION SECRETARY GENERAL GHANA TOGO)

Grrrr!

Quote:

Dearest General Grillo:

Please re-read my last email to you. Especially, the N.B. message at the end!
Stop Calling me Mr. Goma, you idiot! Do you enjoy making me angry?!
My name is Mr. Gomer! How can I take you seriously, if you can not even get my
name correct, after all this time that we have been writing each other?

To be honest with you again for the 78th time, I was not impressed with the lie
that you told me about being able to have both Mr. Kwame and the Ghana Port
Authority Officer send me emails. Yesterday, all was rosy and you told me
affirmatively:

"so my dear friend as for diplomat akwete kwame my diplomat he is going to
contact u because i m going to inform him so that he can be able to write to
u and as for the port authority they are going to still inform u "

So, I patiently awaited the emails for the last day. Now, you are telling me
that I will get no emails!! What a bold-faced liar you are! I'm shocked,
General, that you would lie to a Chairman like myself. And just what and who is
causing this delay and stressing me? Stressing-Yes, me, not you General.
You are the one doing all of the stressing here. Read your own lie here to me
again and see for yourself, then put yourself in my shoes. Just how do you
think it feels for me to be lied to by an almost equal partner in this?!!

"i am the only person that have access to contact u diplomat akwete is just to
make delivery of these boxes to u as soon as he arrive ur country he is going
to inform not now because all the necessary to the issue at hand lies in my
hands so there is no way u should be looking kwame or Ghana port authority
officer"

I am still interested in this transaction, but I expect you to keep your word,
General. Are you not a man of honor and respect? I want those two emails, and
I know that you can make that happen. You can order it so. You have the power
and you promised me that they would write. Now, git 'er done, General.
Then, I will consider payment to you.

I expect both emails by the end of the day. No excuses, and no more lying to me,
either! Be a real General, and not a lowly conscripted grunt, like how you are
acting to me now. Have some self-respect, for God sakes!

Discombobulations and fallacious salutations forever,

Chairman Gomer

Seriously, how hard is it for the lad to open 2 more email accts? Gee Whizz! Laughing

edit: Big news! Razz

Quote:

from Generalyusuf Grillo [email protected]
reply-to Generalyusuf Grillo <[email protected]>
to Gomer
date Wed, Oct 12, 2011 at 3:42 PM
subject HELLO FRM GENERAL YUSUF GRILLO

IP address 41.190.88.246 located in Ghana.

HELLO CHAIRMAN GOMER,
Thanks for ur respond to my mail it is my pleasure to hear frm u once again so how are u doing hope all is very well with u?because as for me mine is very well ok but i thank Allah for a better day like this .
Chairman Gomer sorry for not be able to pronounce ur name very well is was a mistake and u know that nobody is perfect not even u urself u make a mistake chairman gomer i want u to know that i read all what u write to me of that is the case i will inform diplomat akwete kwame and also the Ghana port authority officers for them to write to u i see that will make u to send the money accross so that the dispatch certificate can be obtain so that diplomat akwete kwame can make delivery to u chairman i want u to know that any words i say to i mean it and i am a man of my words dont think that i am lieing to u or just saying what i cannot do if i am lieing to u i could have not be writing to u an longer it is because i want these boxes to be deliver to u that is the reason why i am putting all my effort to make sure that my diplomat deliver to u if that is the case that u want to hear frm diplomat akwete kwame and also the Ghana port authority before u are going to send the money accross i am going to inform them right away so that they can contact u and tell u the reason why the Ghana custom officers are demanding for this certificate so chairman gomer i will stop u so that i will can be able to hear frm u as soon as diplomat akwete kwame contact u and also the Ghana port authority officers also thanks for ur respond i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur.....

SINCERE...
(GENERAL YUSUF GRILLO UNITED NATION SECRETARY GENERAL GHANA TOGO)

Victory! The lad makes 2 new email addies. Unfortunately, dumbass seems to be
working alone here. Oh well, triple the work for him now. Smile

Introducing, the two new lad characters.

Quote:

IP address 41.190.88.245 located in Ghana.

from Diplomat Akwete [email protected]
reply-to Diplomat Akwete <[email protected]>
to Gomer
date Wed, Oct 12, 2011 at 8:05 PM
subject HELLO SIR FRM DIPLOMAT AKWETE KWAME

HELLO SIR,
This is diplomat akwete kwame united nation delivery diplomat Ghana i am the diplomat that was assign by general yusuf grillo for the delivery of your two truck of consignments boxes to you i am not suppose to write to u until when i arrive your country airport but general yusuf grillo inform me to contact u that is the reason why i decided to write to u sir i want you to know that the reason why i am still in kotoka international airport Ghana with these boxes it is because of the dispatch certificate that the Ghana custom are demanding for there is no way that i can be able to exist frm the airport with these boxes without obtaining these certificate frm the Ghana custom officer because it is the certificate that will enable me to exist frm the airport to meet with you sir i want you to know that all what general yusuf grillo is tell you about is the fact because the private commercial jet that is about to take me to ur country airport is ready for delivery and the charges has been paid by general yusuf grillo all what the Ghana custom authority officers are demanding for now is the certificate i am assuring u that as soon as this certificate is been obtain i am going to meet with u with these boxes so sir i want you to pls hasting up in obtain it so that i can be able to make delivery to you as soon as possible thanks and remain bless from your

REGARDS

DIPLOMAT AKWETE KWAME UNITED NATION DELIVERY DIPLOMAT GHANA.

Oh, all the charges have been paid by General Grillo. How nice of him. Wink

Quote:

41.190.88.247 located in Ghana.

from ghana portauthority [email protected]
to Gomer
date Thu, Oct 13, 2011 at 5:43 AM
subject HELLO SIR FROM DR KUFFOR SAMPOR CHIEF SECURITY OFFICER GHANA

GOOD DAY SIR,

How are u today hope all is fine and well ok with you,sir i want to use this time out to let you know that my name is Dr kuffor sampor i am the chief security officer over here in kotoka international airport ghana i am contact you in respect of your funds that where found in our security store house general yusuf grillo the united nation secretary general ghana told me to contact you that you want to hear from me sir i want you to know that the information about yourself that general yusuf grillo send to me show that you have all legal right to these boxes and he told me that you are demanding for the scan copy of the dispatch certificate in which the ghana custom authority officers are demanding for before they can grant be able to grant the diplomat to exist from the airport sir i want you to know that there is no way that these the scan copy of the dispatch certificate can be send to you it is only when you send the money that the custom officers are demanding for the obtain these certificate that is the only way you can be able to have the scan copy of these certificate sir i want you to do as the general yusuf grillo instructed you so that the diplomat can be able to leave the airport to meet with you because this is the only money that you need to send as soon as you send it diplomat make delivery to you thanks for very much for reading my mail i will be waiting to hear from u as soon as possible from

(Dr kuffor Sampor Chief Security Officer Ghana)

Do as the general instructed me? What fun would that be? Smile

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:48 pm

edit: Update. First, Mr. Gomer to the Diplomat. Smile

Quote:

Dearest Diplomat Akwede:

It is indeed a surprise and honor to write to you today, sir.
I was starting to think that you might be a ghost or a figment of
General Grillo's
wild imagination, perhaps just an uncooked potato in his soup. I am
glad to see that you appear to be flesh and blood, with
fingers that do compose messages on the inter-webs. Why he took so long to
contact you to write to me, I'll never know, but he appears to be a
very dimwitted
and stubborn sort of General, like most Generals are, I suppose.
Diplomats I have
found in my travels to be much higher educated and reasonable men over all.

I'm glad to hear that the General has paid all the fees that the Ghana
Port Authority Officer has unjustly and extortionately demanded of
you for his
fictitious DISPATCH CERTIFICATE. Now, you may continue your journey to the
USA to deliver my trucks, filled with trunk boxes of urgent inside. I'm looking
forward to seeing you at the High Plains Drifter Airport here in Arizona, sir.
Bon Voyage!

Let me know when you will be arriving, so I can throw out the red carpet, and
buy a new bile green one for your Diplomatic Arrival Event. What kind of music
do you like to be played on the tarmac as you exit the plane, Sir? I
will make sure
that my musicians know the songs and play them for you. Do you think
three songs is appropriate?

Please send me your flight details as soon as possible so that I can prepare for
your arrival, and make room at my hanger 15 for your jet.

Warmest Discombobulations and fallacious salutations forever,

Chairman Gomer

Next, Gomer writes to General Grillo:

Quote:

Dearest General Grillo:

Thank you for your fine efforts at managing to order the Diplomat, Mr. Akwede,
and the Ghana Port Authority Officer, Dr. Kuffor Sampor, to write to me.
Now, that wasn't so hard, was it? Ordering people around is one of
the major functions of a General. It's rather amusing to me that you
had so much trouble
actually doing it. As Chairman, I spend most of my day ordering people around.
It's like second nature to me. You must be a new green General, am I right?

Also, Mr. Akwede told me that you have paid all the fees that the
Ghana Port Authority Officer demanded, so go order him to release Mr.
Akwede from his
existence at the airport, so that he may bring me my trucks of trunk
boxes with the urgent inside them. I am preparing a very nice welcome
for the Diplomat here in the USA airport in Arizona. Does he like
barbeque? Beef, chicken or pork?

Thank you for taking care of the fees, General. As soon as I receive
the Diplomat
here, I will send you a check to reimburse you for all your expenses.
Please send
receipts to me for all of your expenditures for immediate processing
in my office.

Good day.

Discombobulations and fallacious salutations forever,

Chairman Gomer

Lastly, a message to The Ghana Port Authority head honcho:

Quote:

Dearest Dr. Kuffor Sampor:

I'm pleased that you have written to me sir, as I have been informed by the
Diplomat, Mr. Kwame, that General Grillo has paid all of the fees that
you required. Please order your customs men there who are holding the
Diplomat hostage at the airport to release him immediately, as the
DISPATCH CERTIFICATE has been duly acquired. Thank you for your
prompt attention to this matter, Dr.

Discombobulations and fallacious salutations forever,

Chairman Gomer

Seems like there might be a few real mixups coming.

Yup! The Diplomat in a hasty email wrote back right away:

Quote:

Diplomat Akwete to Gomer

HELLO SIR,
Listen to me all what i am saying is this the private jet that is about to take me to your country has been paid but all what is delaying me here is the dispatch certificate without obtaining these certificate there is no way i can be able to leave the airport pls send the money that general yusuf grillo demand for so that i can meet with you thanks for your respond i will be waiting to hear from you as soon as possible from diplomat akwete kwame united nation delivery diplomat

edit: Update. General Grillo's panties are in a real bind now! He's upset.

Quote:

from Generalyusuf Grillo
reply-to Generalyusuf Grillo
to Gomer
date Fri, Oct 14, 2011
subject HELLO FRM GENERAL YUSUF GRILLO

HELLO CHAIRMAN,
Thanks for ur respond it is my pleasure to hear frm u once again but i want to let u know that there is no way that diplomat akwete kwame can be able to make delivery to u without obtaining the dispatch certificate because according to what my diplomat told me he said that he told u that i have paid for the charges for the private commercial jet that is about to take him to ur country airport which is true i will like to know frm u if u dont want to make the payment of the (550 dollars )to obtain these dispatch certificate for get about this transaction because u are the one that told me that as soon as my diplomat and also the port authority contact u that u are going to send the money accross but if u said that u cannot send it then forget about this transaction thanks for ur effort that u show to me i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

SINCERE......

(GENERAL YUSUF GRILLO UNITED NATION SECRETARY GENERAL GHANA TOGO)

Aww...is he throwing Mr. Gomer's own words back at him?
That's not nice, especially after the Diplomat told Mr Gomer that all the charges were paid. This is gonna get more upsetting son, I think, for both of them. Laughing

edit: Time for the Ghana Port Authority to chime in their concerns. Smile

Quote:

from ghana portauthority
to gomer
date Sat, Oct 15, 2011 at 7:02 AM
subject HELLO SIR FROM DR KUFFOR SAMPOR CHIEF SECURITY OFFICER GHANA

HELLO SIR,
Listen to me and listen attentively i want u to know that the dispatch certificate has not been obtain is only the private jet that is about to take diplomat akwete kwame to ur country airport with these boxes that has been paid for by general yusuf grill send the money accross that the ghana custom are demanding for so that the dispatch certificate can be obtain for them to grant diplomat akwete kwame to exist frm the airport to meet with u at once thanks for ur respond i will be waiting to hear frm u frm

DR KUFFOR SAMPOR CHIEF SECURITY OFFICER GHANA

Mr. Gomer wishes "they" would all just forget about that fictitious certificate! He has a headache today. Smile

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:12 am

While G0mer has been at work, Brad is still on the case (Lad in italics).

Quote:

Ill have to spaek to my nehpew abuot the vilatixing, yuo shuold get the from back in the necks day ot tow.

Next day:

Quote:

Sir i want to use this time out to let u know that i will be waiting for Ur respond so that i can instruct my diplomat to make the delivery to u and i want u to please telling peoples about this boxes that my diplomat want to deliver to u because u did not know who loves u and also who hate u i want u to know that the person that u are even telling this can be Ur enemy that will like to set u up i will advice u to pls keep everything that both of us are doing to uself if u did not understand anything u can ask me and i assuring u that i will give an answer to u thanks for Ur respond Mr Bradley will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm Ur,,

Two days later:

Quote:

I shuold have the vrtaul adres for yuo son, my nehpew is on it, dont yuo wory he siad hed be set up by tomotow.

Quote:

Thanks for ur respond to my mail because i have been wondering of what keep u so long but right away i see the reason u have not be able to write to me i want u to know that i am still waiting to have those form frm u and also the Ghana custom are still waiting too but i want u to know that as soon as u fill it as u said tomorrow i will be waiting to have it so that i can present it to the Ghana custom for the to be able to grant diplomat 4kwete kw4me to exist frm kotoka international airport Ghana to meet with u over there in ur country thanks for ur respond Mr Bradley i will be looking forward to hear frm u soon as possible thanks and remain bless frm ur,

So I sent the form, some of the details gleaned from The Sims 3.

Quote:

Heres the from, I had to do a cut and patse becuase I cuoldnt fund a scener, let me know what hapens next.

Next day, and the Lad got careless:

Quote:

Sir i want u to know that i have presented the form in which send to me to the Ghana custom officer over here in kotoka international airport Ghana and they have verify that u are the rightful owner of these boxes as i am writing' to u now the scan copy have been given to diplomat akwete kwame that is about to exist frm the airport to meet with u he was about to exist frm the airport now through the private commercial jet we just got a report frm the Ghana port authority that we need to obtain (DISPATCH CERTIFICATE)frm their office and these certificate will cost u the sum of (850 dollars)to obtain it from the office of the port authority over here at the airport for them to grant diplomat 4kwete kw4me to exist frm the airport to make delivery to u as soon as possible so my dear friend i want u to pls write to me as soon as possible so that i can know Ur interest consigning these transaction so that i can send to u the name of the Ghana port authority officer that u are going to send the money to thanks for Ur respond Mr Gomer,i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

A slap was in order:

Quote:

WHo is this G0mer guy, are yuo paliyng some duoble game with me, get rael and dont bulhsit me.

Next day, a quick grovel:

Quote:

Thanks for ur respond it is my pleasure it is my pleasure to hear frm u once again i am really sorry for that little mistake the first mail i send to u was suppose to send to one of our foreign beneficiary name g0mer he leaves in sanfrancisco in America is boxes where also found in our security store house so the ghana port authority officers are still asking him to obtain the dispatch certificate before my diplomat can be able to make delivery to him so my dear friend dont be offend if i make a little mistake in the last mail i send to u pls u know that nobody is perfect pls forgive me for that thanks for ur respond i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

Brad wasn't happy still:

Quote:

Just dont do taht agian, it gives me teh whimwans, if hes giong to America then he isnt coming here is he, is there a blody qeueu or someting, tel me.

That was Friday, so I took the weekend off from the General, and come Monday...

Quote:

What is happening that makes me not to be able to hear frm u so so long?or if there a problem?sir i will like o know what is ur interest consigning this transaction are u go to till receive the consignment boxes if yes i will be waiting to hear frm u thanks and remain bless frm ur,

Quote:

Plaese tel yuor gyu at the prot to send me an invioce for that chrage and a bank acuont to recieve it and itl be snet rihgt away, waht is this dispacth cretificeat anywya?

Quote:

What is happening that make me not to be able to hear frm u ever since if i may ask have u been able to transfer the money so that the dispatch certificate can be obtain to u so that diplomat 4kwete kw4me can be able to exist frm kotoka international airport ghana to meet with u over there in Australia if u have send the money across i will like u to pls send me the scan copy of the transfer slip so that the money can be withdraw for the dispatch order certificate can be obtain thanks for ur respond i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

Quote:

I siad that yuo shuold tel yuor man at the prot to send me the invioce for that chrage, cant yuo read Egnlish that god?

At last he realised about the invoice, but there was nothing surprising in his response:

Quote:

Sir i want u to know that there is no way the invioce can be given to me it is only when this money that the port authority are demanding to obtain the dispatch certificate has been paid that is when they can be able to give me the invoice so sir i want u to pls hasting up to send the money that they are demanding for so that the certificate can be obtain because my diplomat is ready for delivery all what is delaying him is this certificate pls try u possible best to so that diplomat 4kwete kw4me can be able to meet with u over there in australlia thanks and remain bless Mr Bradley i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur

Quote:

I dont want the inviove given to yuo, its for me, invioces are befreo yuo pay, everoyne knows that, whihc turd told yuo worng, just tel him hes a blody dorngo and get him to sned me the ivioce pornto.

Quote:

Thanks for ur respond once again but i want to let u know that there is no way the invoice can be given to me it is only when u have make the payment of the money that the ghana port authority are demanding for that is when they can give me the invoice because i have been begging them if they can issued the invoice to me they disagree that we need to obtain the dispatch certificate before the voice can be given to me pls my Mr Bradley i want you to pls hasting up so that diplomat akwete can be about to make delivery to u as soon as boxes with these boxes thanks for ur respond and effort i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

Quote:

Dont give me that shite or gove me thier shite, invioces are befreo pyamnet, recietps are atfer pyamnet, are yuo sreu that yuo turst these drognos, suonds like theyre triyng to pul a fast one.

That brings things up to date. I hope to have a chop happening soon.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 9:32 pm

After days of silence from Grillo (and his fake characters) Mr. Gomer poked all his "bois." Smile

Quote:

Dearest General Grillo:

I have not heard from you. What is the staus of our mutual business now?
Please advise.
--
Dearest Diplomat:

Have no fear. You shall soon be released from your illegal and
unnecessary bondage!
--
Dear Kind Doctor Sir:

I have contacted the General of the United Nations Ghana Togo, Mr. Grillo.
It would behoove you to release my good friend, Diplomat Akwete at this
very moment. You would not enjoy the repercussions from him if you do
not. He is a very stern and demanding General who is eucalyiptizing over
this situation rrrrright now! LISTEN TO ME, if you want your backside left
intact. He will not hesitate to poke it harshly, thrustingly, and continually
until you do as I say!

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 10:14 pm

Signs of weakening, yet he's fighting a rearguard action...

Quote:

I want to use this time out to let u know that i have try to convince the Ghana port authority officer consigning the invoice they are still insisting that u need to send the money first to obtain the dispatch certificate before they can be able to release the invoice to me sir i want u to know that as soon as u send these money across i will make sure that i send the invoice to u before my diplomat make delivery to u pls dont let this invoice of a thing put ashonder to the delivery of these boxes to u sir pls sir i want u to pls hasting up because time is no longer on our side thanks for Ur respond i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm Ur,

Quote:

No invioce, no money, and thats finail, so get it done sonest/

Quote:

Thanks for ur respond i want u to know that i will put all my effort to see that i discuss with the Ghana port authority officers let me see if the can consider me in sending the invoice if they give it to me i will make sure i send to u immediately so that everything can be finalize thanks for ur respond i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible thanks and remain bless frm ur,

Quote:

Dont give me if, its wehn, and no invioce maens it al ends haer, just remeber that.

Quote:

I want u to know that i am still try to convince the port authority officers to see that they give the invoice so that i can be able to send it to u i am assuring u that as soon as they give it to me i will make sure that i send it to u as soon as possible so that the delivery can be proceed to u because this invoice cannot stop these boxes to be deliver to u dont worry Mr Bradley i will put all my effort to see that u receive the invoice thanks for ur respond i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

Quote:

Dont try, do, and get some resluts, like an invioce, I dont wnat it to stop the boixes, I want them to go ahaed, somtiems I think yuo dont qiute think striaght.

I'm expecting something HoS if "Mr Girlo" (as Brad calls him) comes through.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 11:06 pm

While Brad works on getting his invoice, Mr. Grilo responds back to Mr. Gomer:

Quote:

HELLO MR CHAIRMAN GOMER,
Thanks for ur respond to my mail it is my pleasure to hear frm u so how are u doing hope all is very well ok with u and also ur family?because i have been wondering what is the problem that makes me not to hear frm u but i am so excited to hear frm u once again.

Sir i want to use this time out to let u know that the only problem that i am having now is for are the dispatch certificate can be obtain frm the office of the ghana port authority office so that diplomat akwete kwame can be able to meet with u over there in ur country with these boxes sir pls i will be looking forward to have the information frm u so that we can be able to finalize on this transaction thanks frm ur co.operation frm ur,
Sincere,

(GENERAL YUSUF GRILLO UNITED NATION SECRETARY GENERAL GHANA TOGO)

He seems to have lost his place slightly after the long delay. No mention of money. That's ok by Mr. Gomer. He loves delays. Smile

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:00 pm

I decided to make a call; confusion reigned for a considerable time, and segued into acrimony.

http://www.4shared.com/audio/vxvLrvJh/General_Gr1ll0_11_43_PM_Saturd.html

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 11:00 pm

Mr. Gomer next heard from impooster #2.

Quote:

Diplomat Akwete to Gomer

HELLO SIR,
I did not want to say much to u all what i have to say is this i want u to pls try ur possible best so that the dispatch certificate can be obtain frm me to make delivery to u as soon as possible with these boxes thanks for ur respond i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur...
diplomat akwete kwame united nation delivery diplomat ghana

He'll wait for the Ghana Port Authority before he responds. Smile

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:47 pm

It continues, and Grilo is starting to show the strain...

Quote:

I want to use this time out to let u know that i have to try see if i can convince the ghana port authority officers if they can be able to give me the invoice hey are still insisting that u need to send the money accross before they can be able to give me the invoice to send to u sir i want u to know that i am so tired of this shit if i may ask dont u want to receive this boxes any longer u cannot tell me that it is because of invoice that want to make u to lose these two truck of consignment boxes that containing the sum of (40,million dollars)sir pls i will like u to pls write to me as soon as possible so that i can be able to know if u still have interest on this transaction thanks for ur respond i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

Quote:

If yuo let those tow clwons bluf yuo then yuore an idoit, they cant refuse an invioce, invioces are nromal befreo payment gets mad amd if yuo think thats shit then yuore not bieng seruois, get with the pogrom or stop watsing both uor times.

Quote:

Thanks for calling me i want to use this time out to apologize for not be able to know that u are the one calling me it is because i cannot see ur mobile number on my mobile screen i taught that is one of my foreign beneficary that is calling me but i was so suprise to hear that is u sorry for that misunderstanding sir. Sir i understand what u are saying consigning the invoice i have try to see if i can be able to convience the ghana port authority officer consigning this issue to see if they can be able to obtain the invoice to me they insist that i need to obtain the dispatch certificate first before they can be able to obtain the invoice to me but sir i want u to know that i will put more effort to see if they can give me the invoice as soon as they give it to me i will make sure i send it to u so that u can be able to send the (850 dollars)accross that they are demanding for so that the dispatch certificate can be obtain to u for they to be able to allow diplomat 4kwete kw4me to meet with u as soon as possible thanks for calling mr bradley i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

Quote:

No more ecxuses, just do it and dont yuo give me any of thier bulshit.

Quote:

Sorry for that delay that i have not be able to write to u on time it is because i have been trying to convince the ghana port authority consigning the invoice if they can give it to me to insist that i should wait until the chief security officer of the ghana port authority Mr S0lomon Samp0r return back frm Germany because he travel; to Germany for a conference meet that he is going to return back on Thursday and i have speak to him on mobile consigning the invoice and he told me that when he return back he is going to trying is possible best to see that the invoice is been given to me sir i want u to pls have a little patience until Thursday when he return back frm Germany i promise u that i am going to send it to u as soon as they give me the invoice thanks for ur patience i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

Watch this space.

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2011 10:05 pm

No invoice, just another excuse...

Quote:

Sir i want u to know that the reason why i have not be able to send u the invoice it is because there is a flood over here in my country and the flood destroy my house and also my supermarket and i have been trying to put things in order before i can resume office because the chief security officer of the Ghana port authority has called me that he has return back frm Germany as i told u earlier sir i beg u in the name of Allah to have a little patience i am assuring u that as soon as i resume office i am going to send the invoice across to u so that the dispatch certificate certificate can be obtain frm the office of the Ghana port authority so that my diplomat mr 4kwete kw4me can be able to exist frm kotoka international airport Ghana to meet with u over there in Australia pls sir i apologize once again for the delay thanks for the patience i will be looking forward to hear frm u as soon as possible frm ur,

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