Corrupt a wish Genie

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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 9:16 pm

Granted. You now have a large comfortable yacht made of foam. It's very comfy but soaks up quite a bit of water and sinks. Better get a uncomfortable wood one next time.

I wish it would be friday already, I hate waiting for fridays.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted, time is fast-forwarded to Friday. Unfortunately you are forced to listen to this all day:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BI0szjpxJs

I wish I had my stolen bicycle back and the thieve's balls along with it.

Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 2:36 am

Granted, your balls have been welded to the bicycle and returned to you. The Genie hopes you appreciate the effort.

I wish I could play the guitar.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Genie Wurz slaps genie Paranoid around a bit with a large trout, as the wisher specifically asked for the THIEVE'S balls instead of his own, yet thanks him for the bicycle.

Your wish is granted. Unfortunately genie places you on the moon with no guitars anywhere to be seen. He includes a carving knife, so maybe you'll be able to manufacture one from all the cheese around you.

I wish there was no more stupidity and ignorance in the world.

Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 1:09 pm

Granted. All humans have been removed from the planet. Stupidity is nowhere to be found!!

I wish for a sentimental ape based society instead, with no humans.

Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 12:55 am

The Genie remembers Charlton Heston and Planet of the Apes and some new movie about the same. It didn't work our all that well either, so wish denied, but you have to sit through all of the PotApes franchise movies for the next year.

I wish to have some taco shells to go with the cheese.

Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 1:05 am

Granted. But the genie misheard and gave you sea shells instead. Makes a nice crunchy meal.

I wish more items in life were puffy!!

Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 1:50 am

The genie gives you more poofy items instead. They're pink, perfumed, and frilly, and there's a whisper of "bums to the wall".

I wish "Jediyah Ska-Muk" would answer the phone more often.

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 7:12 pm

Granted. He/she does answer more often but changed the name to Larry. The other name seemed quite silly.

I wish to Rock n Roll all night and party every day!!

Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 2:28 am

The Genie tried this and at our age, it isn't a good idea. However, the Genie is going to work on getting you Rick Rolled.

I wish the hard things in life weren't so hard. I already have enough "character".

Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:18 am

Granted. Please check your spam folder for Viagra adds, you'll be needing them as of now.

I wish Rick Astley was cool.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Granted. You are time-transferred back to 1988. Enjoy your brand new $2000 Commodore 64 and watching "Dirty Dancing" dozens of times.

I wish I could also go back to 1988 to meet Wokabo and enjoy life.

Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 4:55 pm

Granted. Your transported back to 1988 B.C. You meet Chief Wokabo of a local headhunter tribe, and your deemed a worthy sacrifice.

I wish I was a shapeshifter.

Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 5:55 pm

Your wish has been autotuned and eventually denied by the Genie's new secretary who prefers to remain anonymous from you. Your wish has been filed away in folder 3 file #273492.

I wish I could just vacuum up lads and force them on safaris in harsh conditions.

Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:35 am

Wish granted, you now are out of a million dollar vacuum cleaner. Surprised

I wish that we could all sit down and stay calm. Laughing

Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 3:00 am

Granted... that is until the Extacy runs out, then we find ourselves thirsty and nude wondering what happened.

Have you ever painted your toe nails?

Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 8:15 am

Is that a wish? Granted, but the paint brush was a rather large size and now your feet are nice and shining pink up to your knees. Serves you right for confusing threads.

I wish winter gets better than summer was this year. Shouldn't be too difficult for a self-respecting genie.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Right. Winter gets quite good this year, if you agree with genie's definition of "good", that is. Enjoy rubbing your toes at -80F in hash conditions.

I wish for some chewing gum.

Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:51 am

Granted. You get chewing gum that is goat poop flavor. Weird thing is you really like it.

I wish for Question

Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 7:05 am

Denied, the genie has no idea what to do with that wish at 1:05 in the morning.

I wish I could sleep.

Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 11:28 am

Granted. Genie gives you some qualuudes, you pop a couple, and sleep for 4 days straight. You wind up in the freezer at the morgue because the lazy EMT people thought you were dead.

I wish I could call CMP, and tell them to eat s**t without getting into legal trouble.

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:26 am

Bumped because I don't this thread to die

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 1:39 am

Granted. This thread doesn't end.

I wish I had something witty to say here.

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 5:51 pm

Granted, you teach people Igbo and always give them dangerous situations that they need to get out of as well as teaching them interrogation phrases. However this backfires and your entire group of students come to your house and attack you. You are now either in a coma or dead it's kind of hard to tell at this point.

I wish for bees to just die out or have their stingers removed.

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 2:38 am

Granted, no more honey, honey!

I wish Koko hadn't killed all the bees.