Bad Mother...

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Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Quote:

Can't wait for you to steer our speed boat and I can hold onto you tight as we bounce up and down on the waves and make each other sick!

Doughnut, you are my hero!

Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 6:46 pm

^^^ Yes, Mike and Doughnut are worthy of each other. Laughing

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 7:05 am

I decide to throw another spanner in the works. I send this to laddo, BCC'd under an email sent to Doughnut:

Quote:

Dear Ms Doughnut,

Thank you for your request to send money to the Caesar Hotel. As your power of Attorney it is my job to facilitate your financial affairs, as it pertains to both yourself and your friends.

Now, if I understand what I am reading here, you wish to transfer $10,000 to some hotel INSTEAD of your beloved? Why would you do this? I know you have tried to explain this situation to me before, but I must say that the inclusion of some "Hotel Manager" has me deeply disturbed.

Please explain to me in more detail. As your power of Attorney, it is our job here at to make sure the money you send people is actually going to the people you wish to help. I would need the full details of the Hotel concerned. Hotel Name, Address, Telephone number, website address of the hotel and MUCH more, if I am to facilitate what you have emailed so far.

And let me assure you Ms Doughnut, you are absolutely correct re: Western Union. While my eldest son has been using Western Union in his overseas travels, my son does not work for a Law firm.

We would need the full bank account details of said hotel in order to facilitate such a transfer (Particularly MULTIPLE transfers). I should also point out that the "Request for Funding form 26b" that we sent to Mr Scammer is only relevant to INDIVIDUAL requests from our firm. I would have to send the Hotel a "Request for Funding Form 26a", which is relevant to Businesses outside of Commonwealth Countries. Yitzak seems to think there may be other forms, but since I deal with Power of Attorney, and he deals with Copyright law, I think it's safe to say just 26a.

I hope this helps you,

Barry

With luck, laddo is about to start tearing his hair out Ahhhhh

! And am thinking of stealing ALL of the questions from a $cientology Personality test and adding it to the top of the form I sent him.

If you've never seen a $cieno test (and if you haven't LUCKY YOU!), you can have a look at one (WITHOUT joining $cientology) from here: http://www.xenu.net/archive/oca/

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 9:01 am

Just wait until Erica finds out you are spending her money! boxer

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 9:11 am

I just LOVE where this is going... Thumbs up

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 3:53 pm

I think it's great Erica can be so nasty; in real life I wouldn't dare.

Quote:

Mike,
you have been a bad boy!

My lawyer, Mr H****, has known my mother’s lawyer for years, sometimes they even send clients to one another when they don’t have the time to take a case. Guess what? Mr Feldman has told Mr H**** that you are trying to make my mother pay for the hotel bills you have run up. And apparently you are talking about several payments. Of course Mr Feldman will deny it, he is not supposed to discuss his clients’ affairs with other persons. But they are collegues, after all.

Now why should mother pay the bills for your hotel – with money that should be mine, too? I’ve told Mr H**** to do everything in his power so that this is not going to happen. He used a legal term – injunction; apparently it means that the court does not allow my mother to transfer any money to you until my lawsuit against you and my mother has been decided. That might take some time, if you get my drift.

The court might rule not to pronounce that injunction – we shall have to wait and see. But if I get this injunction the money is frozen until I say otherwise.

Still not ready to co-operate?

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I can see why she beat you with a potato now you brat! LOL

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 4:06 am

@ Jeanette... I know, isn't it great! That's why I love my sabrina character so much, she says things I wouldn't dream of either. And as for Mr Feldman, well he just brings out my Inner Vogon!

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 6:30 am

Seems like some people need that nasty treatment: Twisted Evil

Quote:

Subject: Injunction???

Erica, Why have you chose not to forgive your mother? and why haven't you gone to see her in a long time?

Now I'll butter him up - yes, Erica has a soft side, as well. Mr. Green

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 6:58 am

@ Jeanette... Am glad you're showing your softer side, 'cos I'm channelling my Inner Vogon BIG TIME!!! Twisted Evil

Phil sends me this, bolding is mine:

Quote:

Hello Mrs Doughnut, Thanks very much for getting back to us. But I showed my boss your message and he asked me to let you know that we don't have any business with your lawyer, Mr Feldman or whatever and that we are only dealing with you because Mr. Scammer and his daughter had told us about you being his wife. I think my boss is only going to accept western union money transfer cuz he asked while we're reading your message together that, Do you expect the hotel to do things your way?.. Although, I understand that it's going to be tiresome having to do it every 3 days but it's just what you have to do Mrs. Doughnut cuz my boss is very impatient about this, and would jail your husband Mr. Mike if you don't do things as i've instructed on my first reply to you.

We'll be looking forward to hear again from you Mrs. Doughnut. Thanks very much,

Fake Hotels.

NO business with my Law Firm??? I'd better change that QUICK SMART! Sooooooooo, with a whole STACK of made up lawyery sounding crap, I send lad this back CC'd with doughnut:

Quote:

Dear Ms Doughnut,

Thank you for forwarding to myself the email you have received from the Hotel. I read said email with great interest and while I understand the urgency of the matter, the procedure I mentioned in the last email is to prevent Fraud and /or Terrorism. It it is not "my" way, it is the way things are done in the Commonwealth, particularly after the Bali Bombings of 2002, the London Subway Bombings of 2005, and the more recent Bombings in Mumbai, some as recently as the last few days. It is not there for my amusement and let me assure you, it is there for your protection. The paperwork involved at my end is immense and depending on when I finally receive form 26a, it will require several staff members working a large amount of overtime to get this completed as soon as Form 26a is received.

I also bound professionally to remind you that Section 6, Subsection 14 of the Commonwealth of Australia (International Distribution of Funds) Act of 1998 (Amendment 23), it is an Federal Offence to send amounts of $10,000 or more to other countries (via Western Union and/or Moneygram), punishable by either a fine of (not less than) $60,000 AUD and/or 6 Months imprisonment. This includes payments sent via instalments, as a record of funds sent to other countries are recorded and accrued until a final total is tallied.

To give you some background Doughnut, the Act was Ammended in 2003 after it was discovered by Indonesian police that the Terrorist group Jemaah Islamiyah (responsible for the 2002 Bali bombings) used large amounts of funds from diverted from Islamic front groups in Australia sent via Western Union to fund the bombings. The amendments to the Act I mention stem from this, and not only would you face a fine/imprisonment as a member of the Commonwealth, but I would face disbarment if I were so negligent in my duties as to send money via Western Union/Moneygram in the manner suggested by the Hotel Manager.

I know all of this may sound confusing to you Ms Doughnut, but I remind you that financial matters such as this was part of the reason that you awarded the power of Attorney in the first place. I am sorry, but I am unable to release ANY money to the Hotel, unless proper procedure is abided by and Form 26a is duly filled out and sent back to us. Please get back to us over this so I can begin proceedings as soon as possible. I understand there is some Urgency in this matter.

Barry.

I'm quite proud of all that Gibberish, I made it up on the Spot!

Game ON Moles, I can do this all YEAR!!! I LIVE for baits like this! Wink

Master Baiter Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 197

You guys are so so great at this!! Poor Mike´s head must be spinning. He only wanted money from Doughnut....now he has to deal with more people than he wanted to. Family drama included. He´s in the middle of something he cant control anymore.

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 12:21 pm

Yes, it's great! Phil has him going since Thu Mar 03, 2011, and this lad is incredibly lazy, yet he is inexorably being drawn into this story - or should I say forced into it by his chairman? beating

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 12:42 pm

^^Thanks Pretty's - we're all having fun at Mike's expense! Talking of which there has been a flurry of activity recently. Doughnut replies to the Hotel:

Quote:

Hello Cockwood,

My lawyer has control of my money and estates because I have a disease which has caused me to lose almost 75% of my body and it is easier for me not to have to worry about anything. I have asked him to deal with this matter URGENTLY and as TOP TOP TOP PRIORITY. He sent me the email which I've attached below.

He will do as I ask him but only if it is 100% legal and risky free. So PLEASE give me or him or both of us the bank details of the hotel and then you can have the $10,000 or however much it is, immediately. Whether you want it in installments or one big lump of a dollop of cash. I am sure he won't allow me to use western union - he says it's got more holes in it than a colunder,colondor colorndar you know those things for straining cabbage.

Thank you.

Ms Startz

Mike meanwhile agrees that we need to take Erica seriously:

Quote:

Hi sweet Doughnut,

I'm beginning to think she's smart cuz she told me she's a Bookmaker and also said she's got a lawyer who's keen to sue you and me and called the lawyer's name Mr. Hutz, she also told me she can stop the lawsuit only if i'm ready to co-operate but i laughed after reading it all cuz she seem to be so much of a kid from her messages that's why I will not respond to any of it, I really don't know what she wants but does she think her empty threats would make me hurt you? Baby you have to know that I love you deeply from my heart, and want to spend the rest of my days with you and Little Doughnut and don't care for anything Erica says that's why i told you not to worry about her, she's just being a kid. You're the one i love, and i promise you that my love for you will never tarnish and I'll never do a thing to hurt you. The hotel manager told me he got a message from you and that made me and Little Doughnut very happy and I hope you get along very well with him cuz they seem not be patient with us anymore. Little Doughnut also asked me to thank you very much for being there for us when we need you most and I want you to know that We both love you, and you'll be part of our lives forever..

Your husband,
Mike.

Doughnut is annoyed:

Quote:

Hi my darling Mike!!

Ooo that erica makes me so mad! I had no idea she was a bookmaker now but it doesn't surprise me - no doubt she's learned from her father Simon who was always a bit of a criminal. I never did get all the things he stole from me. So it would seem she's also out to steal people's money too.

She might seem young like a kid my darling but believe me she is ruthless. You need to watch out for her don't be an enemy to her because she will make our lives hell. Be nice to her and find out as much as you can about what she wants because I know she won't speak to me. She still blames me about the time I put her in the washing machine. For God's sake, I only put it on drip-dry for about a minute!! Or it might have been five, but it's not like I was trying to kill her or anything she was just being a naughty numpty and I had to teach her a lesson. She's never forgiven me.

I hope to hear from you and Little Doughnut soon baby. Cockwood - the man from the hotel is going to let you stay there now. We're just sorting out the details of the money.

Love you baby,

Doughnut XX

Mike the private/public dick says he'll investigate:

Quote:

Hello my love,

I can understand that Erica can be a criminal and I promise i'll be good with her and find out what she really wants. So how are you doing? and are you getting along very well with the hotel manager and his boss? Cuz we're spending more time here and our debts are increasing by the day. I want you to do it very fast with them and I want you to know that if Mr. Feldman is making things seem difficult for the hotel, and delaying the transfer of the money to them , then something sad could happen to me cuz the hotel's losing their patients towards me and Little Doughnut. I don't want to go to jail cuz i fear the life of our only daughter Little Doughnut, I don't want her to get hurt or suffer. I miss you and think about you everyday and can't wait until this is all over and we be together forever. I have to go now as i'll be looking forward to hear back from you.

Love you sweetheart,
Mike.

After receiving Erica's email he of course goes straight to Doughnut with the info:

Quote:

Sweetheart, I think Mr. Feldman is not a good lawyer cuz I just got another message from Erica and found out that your Lawyer Mr. Feldman is having dealings with Erica's Lawyer Mr. Hutz telling him how you're planning to get us out of debts. Baby you know this can be dangerous and you should know that Mr. Feldman was supposed to be keeping everything you say with him a top secret and I'm beginning to think he's planning to do business with Erica's Lawyer so they can sue you and get everything you have and i want you to do something very fast about it cuz Mr. Feldman can't be trusted with telling Erica's lawyer everything. Baby I want you to read Erica's message to me as i'll put it below this..

And in a hotel far, far away…

Quote:

Thanks very much for getting back to us Mrs. Doughnut. I can now understand why you feel it can be risky to send that much money via western union but I want you to know that i had to plead with my Boss to release his bank details so you can wire the money there and I'm doing this for the sake of your daughter Susan cuz i feel so much for her, she's been very sad and she thinks something sad could happen to her dad anytime soon as they haven't paid the debts cuz she can see the impatience in my boss as he had let your husband stayed in the hotel a couple of months without payment. I'm going to write the bank details and we want you to transfer the money immediately cuz you'll be causing him to owe more debts if you don't do that and it could be dangerous. The informations are as follows:

Account Name .......

Account Number ....... 95048682

Bank Name ....... Santander Bank

Sort Code ....... 09-01-34

We want you to note that he's owing £10,000, please do not get us wrong, transfer the money in GBP and not USD... We'll be waiting for your reply...Thanks..

Caesars Hotels..

I, Chrys and Jeanette say thank you for the piggy Mike and all the scammers in Team Mugu. Let's hope your RL boss gives you a good hiding when this account gets closed!

Love Phil X

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 2:08 pm

Jeanette says:

Quote:

Phil has him going since Thu Mar 03, 2011

Far be from me to blow my own trumpet but Mike and Doughnut began their correspondence on Tuesday, February 1st. We've been loving each other for over 7 months. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 2:10 pm

Congrats on the piggy. happy crowd

Quote:

Mike and Doughnut began their correspondence on Tuesday, February 1st.

I just picked the date of the first post.

Erica drafts a plan:

Quote:

Mike,

my mother has strange ideas about parenting. For instance, when I was quite small, she forced me into the washing machine and put it on drip-dry for five minutes! This experience has taught me a lesson I shall never forget. As soon as I became of age I married the first man who asked me just to get away. Of course I don’t want to see her ever again – except in court, haha!

Actually, I don’t need her money. Just the other day, I made £ 20,000 with a fight my favourite dog, Fido, won (his opponent is with the knacker now; I’m including a picture). But a lot more money won’t hurt, and I’ll get it.

At the moment, I can’t get any more information about my mother’s plans with Feldman. I got my lawyer, Mr H****, drunk and seduced him so he told me about his encounter with Feldman. Now he is sooo sorry he leaked this information and always asks his secretary in when I visit his studio.

Here’s the plan if you are stubborn:

I’ll go ahead with the injunction so you won’t even get five pence for your hotel bill. And the lawsuit against my mother and you is already being prepared and will be filed soon.

However, if you co-operate:

You tell Mr Feldman that you don’t intend to receive the donation from my mother, you love her, not her money. Mr Feldman convinces my mother to give the money to me instead and will release it immediately to me. You get 50%, and I’ll hand it over to you personally.

Hoping for a fabulous business relationship
Erica

Master Baiter Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 197

Quote:

She still blames me about the time I put her in the washing machine. For God's sake, I only put it on drip-dry for about a minute!!

You should write a book about parenting: How To Get Rid of Your Unbeloved Child.
Your autobiography: I Never Wanted To Be Mother of the Year.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Jul 2011 Posts: 50

Phil, just to let you know i lost half a day at work and my sides are sore, as i couldn't close my screen once i started reading this thread, you got a new member for the fan club here. To the other collaborators with Phil, i'm in awe at the sheer brilliance of the story line here. You've all got him hooked like a little fish.
You keep dangling small carrots and he takes them like a startled Rabbit. He actually seems as if his head is spinning, he's that confused and scared. He's absolutely terrified he's going to end up with nothing.

Footnote: In all these dating scams I particularly love the part where they get an offer from the baiter " I'm near you now, I got 10,000 here with me, come and get it"
Reply : " Nahhhhh!!! you bring it here to me" Very Happy

Aren't they all just Lazy fkin Bastard arseholes?

Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 5:29 am

Pretty´s Darling wrote:

Your autobiography: I Never Wanted To Be Mother of the Year.

In RL, I once snuck my (then) six year old daughter into a gay bar 'cos I wanted to see the drag show! When she was in high school, her friends are all envious!

@ Phil, Congrats on your piggy! He's in Good company, I should do more bank accounts I think mine are getting a tad lonely Wink

ETA: I send this back to Doughnut (and Lad):

Quote:

Dear Ms Doughnut,

Thank you for forwarding the details of the account, I will head to the bank as a matter of urgency! It is 3.30pm as I type, hopefully it will be in the account by 5pm EST.

I will ring you upon my return with news of the transfer. I am leaving now.

Barry

Unfortunately (for Lad), Barry's about to be involved in an auto Accident! I'll send him a copy of the Newspaper with pics... His secretary will let him know later, giving us time for Alan to process Phil's Piggy Wink

And then of course is the injunction...

Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 9:58 am

Mike pretending to co-operate wrote:

Oh i'm very sorry. Your mom shouldn't have treated you that way. It's not fair at all, though I understand it's been a long time. I'm facing alot problems here in the hotel and will soon be jailed for not paying the debts. But tell me 50% of how much am i going to get for doing this? and how much would you get from your Mom after you must have won the lawsuit against her? I just have to know everything ok?

Gazillions, Mike! Mr. Green

And he was in the internet café at Fri, Sep 9, 2011 at 7:32 AM jump_4_joy

EDIT: Just checked the actual amount:

Quote:

her financial assets currently stand at $923,476

But surely in the meantime it's more, with the accrued interests and all. Wink

Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 11:58 am

Thanks for all the kind comments and congrats fellow baiters. Much appreciated.

@ Eddie Shoestring - blige u read ee all in one go? Thassmazin. Jew go to collidge or summat? Wink

Well, Doughnut's on the brink of appearing in a Pedro Almodova movie folks. I think she/I am beginning to crack up:

Quote:

Hi Mike my darling baby captain private dick of the good ship Doughnut!!

Everything is good now Mr Feldman is transferring the £10,000 straight into Mr Cockwood's bank account forthwith and urgently.

Mike mike mike I am so glad that this has now been done and you can come and give me the love I have waited for for so long. My rubber daffodil and plastic nip-naps yearn for your manly touch. I can't wait because I have been getting these headaches and I'm sure it is down to sex frustration. i.e, e.g and fyi NOT HAVING EVER HAD ANY EVER!!!

So you can see why I am waiting for you like a lady dog on heat baby. So hurry up, tell Cockwood to politely stick his bill up his bottom as it should be paid by monday and then come and take me. I'll let you put your tongue in my stomach-hole YOU NAUGHTY NUMPTY MAN!!!

LOve Big Doughnut XXX

PS. Tell Little Doughnut to write to me soon. I miss her. And I think she needs to be potty-trained.

We'll see if Mike is just playing the game of being nice to Erica or whether he's actually going to go for the quick 50% of nothing in exchange for the taking ages 100% of nothing!

Love Phil X

Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:12 pm

Quote:

NOT HAVING EVER HAD ANY EVER!!!

She's exaggerating - Erica is the fruit of her spacious womb. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:29 pm

^^

Her womb may be spacious Jeanette, but Doughnut is positive she is still a virgin and has told Mike so. She has no idea how babies are made and at her largest - no idea she was even pregnant - until Erica plopped out. She thinks she contracted you off of a dirty toilet seat!

Tell THAT to Mike and see what he says! Very Happy

Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 9:22 am

And so it begins…

The hotel gets this:

Quote:

Hello Mr Sir

You should have the money by now I believe. Please excuse my writing I really have the most teribble headaching

Yours MRs Startzz`

And reply:

Quote:

We're very glad to hear from you Mrs Startz. My boss told me you'll need to scan the transfer slip, and send it as soon as possible so we can get the money. We thank you very much for your co-operations,

Caesars Hotels.

Mike gets this:

Quote:

hello BABY!!!!!

Has Cockwood got the money yet? He should have.

Looking forward to seeing you XXX

BIg D

And replies:

Quote:

Wow, thanks very much my darling sweet Doughnut. You've made me and Little Doughnut very happy cuz you just got us out of debts and we really can't forget you baby. I want you to know that I'll never stop loving you, I just can't wait to spend time having great fun with you and our daughter. I also want to make sweet passionate love to you so you can feel good when we get together. We're very proud of you sweetheart. The boss and hotel manager said you'll need to scan the Transfer slip and send it to them so they can get the money as soon as possible. I'll make sure our daughter sends you a message. Please do give them the Transfer slip quickly so we can be together cuz i can't wait. Smile

I have to go to bed now sweety. I love you always... Mike.

I have a feeling that Mike may never get to give Doughhnut the great fun he promises. She's not feeling that well… Confused

Love Phil X

Master Baiter Joined: 26 Mar 2011 Posts: 128

Phil Yerboots wrote:

I have a feeling that Mike may never get to give Doughhnut the great fun he promises. She's not feeling that well… Confused

oh, thats not good. Does it mean she might not recover again?
To be honest, I would miss her and I would be (a bit) sad if she would pass away.

or maybe, I just got the baiter-bug and get fully into it....

Orange

Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 7:31 pm

Erica offering help - or is it a veiled threat?

Quote:

Hello Mike!

Sorry to hear about your problems with the hotel. Should my guys have a word with the manager? Just give me his address and they will take care of him; they can be very convincing.

As for mother’s money, last I heard it was a dollar account of about 1 million. But Bulldog says she has another account with GBP 700,00, not sure if it is true, though. As her future husband, why don’t you just ask her?

By the way, did she tell you she is still a virgin? She’s so stupid, she doesn’t even know that babies are the result of sex, she thinks it is one of God’s miracles, or maybe you can get pregnant from a dirty toilet seat, whatever (Phil, thanks for this idea!). Bulldog says she was really surprised when she was rushed to the hospital to give birth.

Well, whatever the actual amount of her funds, I promise you to personally bring your share to wherever you want me to.

As we are businesspartners now, why don’t you send me a picture? I’d like to see my future stepfather.

Erica