I've got a new Company!

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Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:03 pm

I have a lad that's the Chief Accountant of the Nigerian Air Ministry. Apparently they've overinvoiced somebody and he wants little old me to help him get a pile of cash out of the country and into my bank account. What a nice chap!
To that end he's set up a new Company for me, namely XXXXXXXXXXX and he's sent me (a JPEG of) the incorporation certificate...which is so badly done it made me laugh out loud! Seems the costs to set up a Company in Muguland are high though, he's spent US$2,300 and he wants me to make up the difference to US$6,750.00. I could just send him a fake WU receipt but I would like to torture this cretin a bit more than that. Any ideas please?

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Business is not done through WU! He should know this!

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:19 pm

You will need to see the list of directors, articles of association, money laundering certificate etc.. keep him busy for hours at the cafe computer, then post it in the Hall of Shame.

Look at real company formation websites for ideas of what documents your bank / accountant is demanding before they will release the $6,750.

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:23 pm

Awesome, upload the certificate, im sure we all need to see it Laughing

This sounds like you could get loads of trophy pics from this lad, get him to make you a company poster with a poster lad on it holding a sign up with you new companies name on, and wearing something ridiculous, and thats just for starters Twisted Evil

stall WU transfer as long as possible saying they wont accept business money unless its proved as a new business with a poster etc etc......

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:41 pm

Here's the certificate

It's a cracker...the signature's been done on paper that's not even the same colour! I can't begin to imagine how this arse thinks he's fooling anyone with this! Time to start asking him for the official paperwork.
Thanks for all the ideas everybody. This one might run and run!

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:54 pm

Wow, The 2cnd day of October, two thousand and 2009??? Does that mean 4009? Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Run him like a stepchild Jim!

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:10 pm

I intend to. I've just sent him this. Incidentally to give you some background, my character lives in the Germany that would have existed had the Germans not lost last time around. My address is:

Roger Jimlad
The Berghof
Barbarossastrasse 18
Königsberg
East Prussia
Grossdeutschen Reich

It gives me some great opportunities to use all sorts of daft, irrational and overly bureaucratic reasons for asking for things, just like this one in fact!

Dear Dr Ego

Thank you very much for the certificate of incorporation for the new Company. I spoke to my bank manager this afternoon and he has agreed to give me a loan for $10,000 and from this I can pay you what you need to recoup what you have already spent, together with remuneration from me for all your efforts so far. He has asked for some documents however before the money can be released. I will need to see XXXXXXXXXX List of Directors, the Company’s Articles of Association and a Money Laundering Certificate to prove that the company has been set up legally and is not carrying out illegal activities. He is also asking for a Company letterhead and a photograph of yourself, as the person who has been my representative in this transaction, in order that the Company can be registered with the Reich Ministry of Commerce in Danzig. The photograph must be of you holding a poster in front of yourself on which the following is written in LARGE CAPITAL LETTERS…

JIMLAD IS THE BUSINESS

If you could please do these things for me Dr Ego, I would not only be very grateful, but I will make sure that your reward is memorable. Certainly will be!

Kindest regards and congratulations to us both on a fine start to our business together.

R. Jimlad

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:16 pm

Nice work, Jimlad.

You might want to consider a minor obfuscate to the name of your company, using the mask function over the name of the company, or having a mod move this thread behind the login into Help, Hints, and Tips, as the name of your company is now showing up here from google. Wink

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:30 pm

Does that solve the problem?

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Your company was the very first in my search of "r. j1mlad construct1on 1nc"

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:41 pm

I think you need to edit your first post also. And then it will take a few days before google's search will drop it. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2003 Posts: 4747

I am always willing to help a new business

your not finished, not by a long shot!

REMEMBER to obey all environmental laws. You need approvals and certificates. What about your carbon footprint?

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 8:23 pm

Thanks for that. That's what I meant when I said his reward would be great!

Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 5:13 pm

The lad did use some nice quality paper for the certificate. If it were me, I would mark FAKE across the document. If you need help to do that, just ask and someone will have the answer.

Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 6:08 pm

Is this lad really calling himself "Dr. Ego"? Rolling Eyes

Perhaps you should introduce Dr. Egomaniac to Jimlad Construction's CFO, Mr. Errigant - just to rub his nose in it a little. Razz

Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 6:29 pm

The document is now marked "FAKE"
My lad's not as daft as I thought. He's sent me this in response to the letter I posted last night...

R. Jimlad,

Thanks for your appreciation on my efforts so far, I also thank you for your step so far taken regarding the loan but we don’t need that much of amount neither am I asking for much from you.
As regards to your request and demand, the company memorandum of understanding was swaved due to the fact that we are not applying for any contract rather for payment based on a contract that had long been executed. All the idea as you requested sounds so suspicious.
How do you expect me to belittle myself to write some sort of funny words on a paper or board before you can be sure or what exactly you intend to do?
Like I said, the registration was meant to apply for payment which we have successfully secured.
So kindly act within your conscience.
Dr Ego

Should I brass it out and insist on the photo as he seems to have an answer for everything.

Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:16 pm

"egoh" is a fairly common family name in parts of Africa Wink

Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:42 pm

The UK banking code requires photo confirmation and a sign saying he is 100% risky free Laughing

before sending any money to him (via several WU and MG forms)