First One - Had to Try it!!

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 13 Aug 2011 Posts: 2

Guys, this may end up being my one and only, but damn was it fun! Heard about you 419Eaters from a friend, and we were both howling with laughter about the greatness of some of your achievements against these silly, stupid, lads.

It looked too fun to pass up, so at my first opportunity, I joined the fight. Established a spamfighter email account under the name Onya Mark Getsetgo

Here is my tale... hopefully you will enjoy it.

Cast out my bait, and in no time I had my first lad nibbling:

Quote:

From: Catherine Monroe [mailto:[email protected]]
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Subject:

Fair Investment Company
Kings House
14 Orchard Street
Bristol
BS1 5EH

Good Day,

I am Mrs. Rachael Stiles Fair Investment Company International Lender, We OfferPrivate, Commercial and Personal Loans with very Minimal annual InterestRates as Low as 3% within a 1year to 50years repayment duration period to any part of the world. We give out loans within the range of £5,000 to £100,000,000 Pounds. Our loans are well insured for maximum security. Everyinterested applicant should contact us via email with the requiredinformation’s below. Email: [email protected]

Name:
Address:
Sex:
Age:
Telephone Number:
Country:
Amount Needed:
Loan Duration:

Regards,
Rachael Stiles.
Personal Finance Editor

I decided to respond, because as an American I have a hard time passing up junk loans with long repayment plans that get me into debt.

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Subject RE:

Please tell me alittle more about you, your company, and why you contacted me regarding low-interest loans.

Thanks, Mark

Quote:

From: Rachael Stiles< [email protected]> (more on her later)
To: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Hello Mark

FAIR INVESTMENT LOAN COMPANY
(Kings House, Orchard Street, Bristol, BS1 5EH)

E-mail:[email protected]
[email protected]

Fax: +44 753-850-8790
Tel : +44 744-006-2625
+44 753-850-2781

Government Accredited Licensed Loan Firm
Under the Data Protection Act of Registration of the International Business Companies (I.B.C) Act 1993 (5177BN80)
Message from Mr. John Coleman:

On Behalf of (Chairman/Chief Executive Officer, FAIR INVESTMENT LOAN COMPANY, UK)

Dear Mark,

We received your email and we want to assure you that you are in the right place, as we are here to provide an effective and lasting solution to your financial problems.

Fair Investment Company Limited is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority (FSA) in the United Kingdom, and is duly entered on the FSA register at (www.fsa.gov.uk) with

Reference Number: 192852
Registration Number: 3980180
Registered Address: Kings House, 14 Orchard Street, Bristol, BS1 5EH.

As part of our company policy, you will be required to pay a non-refundable application fee of One hundred and ten British pound sterling (£110) which will serve as cost for the processing of your loan application of €10,000,000. Once the application fee is received, then your loan application will be processed immediately and for collateral we accept property document landed documents, jury etc.

We look forward to hearing from you again

Regards,

Mr John Coleman. (wait, is it Rachael or John? hmmm)
Loan Officer

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: Hello Mark
To: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>
Cc: [email protected]

This sounds legitimate, without the need for pesky paperwork, credit checks, loan applications, due diligence, or common sense.

How should I send the fee, and what is the method of payment? Also, how did you know I needed a loan right now?
-Mark

Quote:

From: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Hello Mark

FAIR INVESTMENT LOAN COMPANY (blah blah blah)
Hello Mark,

We received your email,you are required to make payment of £110 to this office via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gramm Transfer outlets close to you with the payment details below:

PAYMENT DETAILS:
NAME: Mrs Mariam Brandon
ADDRESS: 14 Orchard Street, Bristol, BS1 5EH.
AMOUNT TO BE SENT: £110.00 GBP

As soon as the Payment is made, You are to send us a scanned copy of the payment receipt to us immediately for confirmation so we can commence on the application process.
You are also required to fill out this Western Union Payment Information below if you don't have means of scanning.
Sender's Name:
Receiver's Name:
Money Transfer Control Number (Mtcn):
Amount Sent:
Text Question (if any):

We look forward to hearing from you again.

Regards,

Mr John Coleman.
Loan Officer

Huh? John’s signature block again? So sloppy…

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: Hello Mark
To: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>
Cc: [email protected]

Rachel/John,

Thanks for your impeded follow-up to my inquiry regarding a personal low-interest loan.

I understand the need for urgency in processing your filing fees, and in previous transactions overseas I have been made aware and am familiar with the additional International Finances United Kingdom - Usery fee of £200 which must be applied to all international loan transactions in-bound to the UK from America.
Is it ok with you if I forward this IFUK - U amount combined with the £110 fee your institution requires? This will allow us to combine the required filing monies, and allow me to recieve my loan more quickly. Total fees will be £310, per your approval.

Please let me know this week if possible.

-Mark

Yes, I FUcK - U, lad.

John is getting miffed that we seem to be dragging a bit. He is a go getter, and emails me from *his* account. But he seems to miss the fact that I have upped his filing fee for him via the IFUK-U invention.

Quote:

From: John Coleman <[email protected]>
Subject: TRANSFER INFORMATION YOU NEED TO MAKE PAYMENT
To: Mark Getsetgo
Hello Mark,

How are you doing? All we request from you is a non refundable processing fee of £110 and you should go ahead and make the payment via western union or money gram to us and once we recieve the amount will we proceed with your loan processing.

Here is the transfer information again:

PAYMENT DETAILS:
RECEIVER NAME: Mrs Mariam Brandon
ADDRESS: 14 Orchard Street, Bristol, BS1 5EH.
AMOUNT TO BE SENT: £110.00 GBP
COUNTRY: UNITED KINGDOM
CITY: LONDON.

As soon as the Payment is made, You are to send us a scanned copy of the payment receipt to us immediately for confirmation so we can commence on the application process.
Regards,

Mr John Coleman.
Loan Officer

Rachael catches his error, and sends this beautifully simple response:

Quote:

From: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Hello Mark

Please go ahead for further process.

Naturally,

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: Hello Mark

So should I send £110 or £310 for the filing fee?

And why does Mr. Coleman send me harsh emails seperately?

-Mark

Quote:

From: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Hello Mark

Proceed with the payment of £310

Thought so.

I decide that things are getting tenuous in the UK, based on the real-life riots and bullshit happening there. (Note: my heartfelt sympathy to British folks who lost property and well-being in the riots. That is no laughing matter…I use it in this bait as simply a mechanism. Please forgive any unintentional insult to Londoners in this tale -CB)

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: TRANSFER INFORMATION YOU NEED TO MAKE PAYMENT
To: John Coleman <[email protected]>

John,

As I have watched countless news reports of buildings on fire in Bristol with the looting, including Western Union locations fully engulfed in flames and riot, I am concerned that transferring money by Western Union may be unsafe.

Fortunately, I have several alternate means of paying the processing fee of £110 or £310, with varying delivery times as outline, so please indicate to me which method you prefer:

A. Federal Savings Bank wire transfer from Bank of America to Mrs. Brandon bank acct. (3 - 5 business days)

B. U.S. Currency USPS mail order, sent by air mail to 14 Orchard Street, Bristol, BS1 5EH ( 1 - 2 weeks)

C. Courier Pigeon Services, rolled bills ( 4 - 6 weeks)

D. Duty-free freight parcel, cash British Pounds in sealed envelope, via MV Maersk Alabama ( 5 weeks, assuming no Somolia issues in transit)

E. DHL Delivery Confirmed large pack, cash British Pounds packed along with a brick of Cronic™ (19 hours)

F. Diplomatic Parcel, via Embassy Courier Mr. Christopher Chance (1 - 2 days)

G. Paypal Express Client Service (instantaneous)

If you will provide me your most preferable choice, A., B., C., D., E., F., or G., I will make arrangements accordingly. I need the loan by month's end, so time is critical.

-Mark

John responds to set my mind at ease, but does just the opposite:

Quote:

From: John Coleman <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: TRANSFER INFORMATION YOU NEED TO MAKE PAYMENT
To: Mark Getsetgo

Hello Mark,

I got your mail and i understand your fear. Yes there might be riots in UK but bristol is not affected so you dont have to be scared about making the payment via western union or money gram OK.

Listen, i am telling you to go ahead and make the payment via western union because is a very safe and fast way to recieve small amount of money on time.

I will wait for your next email.

Regards,

Mr John Coleman
Loan Officer

John, YOU listen, bitch!

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: TRANSFER INFORMATION YOU NEED TO MAKE PAYMENT
To: John Coleman <[email protected]>
Sir,
Thanks for your very fast reply.
Listen, I know you are excited to provide me excellent service with my loan, but I assure you my fears are not groundless... please refer to the screen capture I have attached with this email. Bristol is clearly affected by the riots, as evidenced by these headlines and photograph of a torched Western Union location.

How do you explain to me that Bristol is unaffected when the News says otherwise? Please help me sort this out.

Thank you,
Mark

(Very minimal photoshop, changed “Britian” to “Bristol”)

Quote:

From: John Coleman <[email protected]>
Subject: TRANSFER INFORMATION YOU NEED TO MAKE PAYMENT
To: Mark Getsetgo

Hello Mark,

I got your mail and you attachment and i must say its good that you are following the stories but i must let you know that it is not bristol the picture you are seeing right now and the building you have sent to me is a big furniture house that has been there for over 150 years and its located in CROYDON so its not bristol OK.

I hope you understand me now and i am in the UK so am also following the stories.

Regards,

Mr John Coleman

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: TRANSFER INFORMATION YOU NEED TO MAKE PAYMENT
To: John Coleman <[email protected]>

John,

What a relief! I am outraged at the horror, the horror, and as the son of a Bytchman in the Furniture industry, I cannot understand why they would burn down a Furniture house that has 150 years of history! Why did they do this? WHY!!??

Are you in any danger from the rioters? If you are in danger, I will look for clues and hints in your next email, and so will know if you are under duress, without the looters knowing that I know. Please do be careful, and leave me clues in your next email.

-Mark

So then Rachael decides its time to get this thing moving!

Quote:

From: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Hello Mark

In regards to your email western union is faster to pick up and will make the approval process of your loan quicker.

More so upon making the payment, you are to send the western union payment slip/details.

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: Hello Mark
To: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>

What is western union payment slip/details?

I really want my loam. (Yes, my loam.)

-Mark

Quote:

From: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Hello Mark

You are required to locate any western union money shop or outlet near you and proceed with the payment as soon as possible.

PAYMENT DETAILS:
NAME: Mrs Mariam Brandon
ADDRESS: 14 Orchard Street, Bristol, BS1 5EH.
AMOUNT TO BE SENT: £310.00 GBP

As soon as the Payment is made, You are to send us a scanned copy of the payment receipt give to after making the payment to us via email immediately for confirmation, so we can commence on the application process.
You are also required to fill out this Western Union Payment Information below if you don't have means of scanning.
Sender's Name:
Receiver's Name:
Money Transfer Control Number (Mtcn):
Amount Sent:
Text Question (if any):

Regards,

Mr John Coleman.
Loan Officer

“They” start getting “their” 2 email accounts mixed up…

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: Hello Mark
To: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>
Cc: John Coleman <[email protected]>

Wait a moment, why is John emailing me from Rachael's email account?

I know Bristol is on fire from the looters. John was telling me not to worry, but I think the riot people are telling him what to say because they have him detained in an old furniture building.

And now my Rachael conversation was interrupted. I see that the fee for my loan now uncludes the additional IFUK-U charge of £200 in addition to the £110 loan application fee. This will save me time and hassle, because I can pay the fees all at once. I need the loan money.

But now I am nervous about the burned down Western Unions, and I have emailed to provide alternate payment methods for this transaction. I do not know what MTCN is, so can you please help me understand? It is UNLIKELY that I can use Western Union, because of the riot burning.
What can you help me with, Rachael or John? I am confused and scared, and I have the cash money ready to send by Courier Pigeon or DHL.

Please advise,

Mark

Quote:

From: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Hello Mark

Get back to us when you are done with the payment of £310 via western union. you have the payment information.
when you are done with the payment send us the scan copy of the payment receipt issue to you.

Regards,
Rachael's

Getting snappy with our mugu, are we? John turns up the heat, and I turn up the burn…

Quote:

From: John Coleman <[email protected]>
Subject: Hello Mark
To: Mark Getsetgo

Hello Mark,

The only way we can receive and accept your payment is via western union.

If you are serious in doing business with us i like you to proceed in making the payment for your application fee via western union.

Regards,

Mr John Coleman

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: Hello Mark
To: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>

Racheal,

It appears that John will be pleased to note that I have taken it upon myself to already send you the money in the form of cash.

A package of GBP cash in the amount of £310 has been shipped yesterday evening, and will be arriving to you shortly at the address you provided! Scanned shipment form is enclosed.

Please advise when you have received the cash, and I will need a Proof of Reciept form when you have signed for the package.

Thanks,

Mark

Found an old military form online, and did some half-hearted photoshopping.

Had to share the good news with John, too:

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: Hello Mark
To: John Coleman <[email protected]>

Johnny my Friend,
I have already taken this matter to task, and have found a solution! Since we cannot be sure if Western Unions in your area are still on fire or not, I have sent you the money in the form of cash.
A package of GBP cash in the amount of £310 has been shipped yesterday evening, and will be arriving to you shortly at the address you provided Scanned shipment form is enclosed.
Please let me know when Rachael has received the cash package, and has a Proof of Receipt to send me.
Thanks for all of your help and patience, and now we need to get the loan paperwork started, I believe.

-Mark

I think that pissed them off.

Quote:

From: John Coleman <[email protected]>
Subject: Helllo Mark
To: Mark Getsetgo
Mark,

I am sorry to inform you that we will not be accepting any delivery in terms of cash and you have been told all you have to do. You were advised to go ahead and make the payment via money gram or western union.

That's the only way we can identify your payment.

Please always take advices.

Regards,

Mr John Coleman

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: Hello Mark
To: John Coleman <[email protected]>

Sir,
It is too late now. The package has been shipped via Pigeon. Please return the package to sender once it arrives, and in the mean time, I will devise another form of payment to you.

What method of paying the loan fees would you prefer, other than Western Unions, which have been devistated by the riots? I have grown accustomed to receiving my loan advances quickly, and do not wish to be delayed. I've withdrawn another £310 for you from my bank account, and need to send it before the weekend.
Thanks,

Mark

Quote:

From: John Coleman <[email protected]>
Subject: Hello Mark
To: Mark Getsetgo
Hello Mark,

I have told you before now, the only way we can accept your payment for our company loan application form is via western union or money gram so send it and we will received it.

Don't be scared because of the riot OK.

Regards,

Mr John

The beyotch Rachael starts getting snippy, then it blows up.

Quote:

From: Rachael
Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>

provide us with your phone number

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: Hello Mark
To: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>

I am deaf and do not own a phone. All of my communication is through email, sign language, letters, or dry-erase board. Why do you ask?

Quote:

From: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Hello Mark

koni dafure oloriburuku omale.

Might be time to dolla chop! Endgame set in motion…

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: Hello Mark
To: Rachael Stiles <[email protected]>

I do not understand you. That looks like a foreign language to me. Please communicate in English, or I will cease communicating with you.
-Mark

And to Johnny Lad, demoting his co-worker:

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: Hello Mark
To: John Coleman <[email protected]>

Your Assistant Rachael just sent me this words "koni dafure oloriburuku omale". What the fuck is this shit? Is she speaking in another language? Quite rude.
I have already sent you the fees, and as of right now I am getting concerned that this loan offer may be something other than a legitimate proposal. I will need you to refuse shipment of the £310 by Courier Pigeon package immediately.
If there is no other way, I will transfer funds at Western Union, but I cannot do buisness with a company I do not trust.
WHAT DO YOU SAY FOR YOUR RUDE ASSISTANT?
-Mark

Quote:

From: John Coleman <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Hello Mark
To: Mark Getsetgo
y u dey fool ur self.....nor dey waste people time like dis....try make u nor dey fool ur self

A parting shot from me should set up a nice, joyful conclusion.

Quote:

From: Mark Getsetgo
Subject: Re: Hello Mark
To: John Coleman <[email protected]>

John,
I will no longer need your services or the loan. I've been contacted by Barrister Monorayle of your Fair-Investments branch in Romford, UK, and he has agreed to continue the transaction you helped me get started.
I have transferred Barrister Monorayle the £310 to his Western Union which was not affected by the riots.

Thank you for your help, and I am sorry we could not do business together.
-Mark

Then my good friend Barrister Monorayle gets in on the fun (copy/pasting some delicacies from the 419insult boards):

Quote:

From: barrmonorayle (me)
To: [email protected]; [email protected]
Subject: i gon chop

I Laugh u....Fucking mugu like you. Which money you get? It my money, £310 mtcn at Romford on yo fair-investmant u FFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL
U WILL REMAIN POOR UNTILL THE DAY YOU WILL END YOUR MISERABLE LIFE ON A ROPE COS U WILL SURE COMMIT SUICIDE HENCE TO YOU THIS LIFE IS NOT ENJOYABLE AND FOR THAT YOU WILL END IT UP SOON AND THAT SOON

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS MUGU FOOL OF THE DECADE

YOUR MOTHER'S BOY FRIEND, JUST CALL ME NOW, THAT YOUR MOTHER JUST PAST AWAY AT ORILE IGOMU HOTEL. WHEN SHE WAS HAVING SEX WITH HER BOY FRIEND. I WENT THERE AND I SAW HER WIDE TOTO

STUPID GOAT

Quote:

From: [email protected]
Subject: nobody dey follow u drag ur money oooooooo
To: barrmonorayle
CC: barrmonorayle
if u like get heaven n eat dat na ur own...my own na my own and who get money as u claim nor gho dey beg maye to pay 310 pounds for the kind money wen u get...

My parting shot…

Quote:

From: barrmonorayle
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: nobody dey follow u drag ur money oooooooo

NNA GI NA ARA MKPURU AMU

DID YOU EVEN PASS PRIMARY 3? YOU ARE A BIG DISGRACE TO GUYS AND ON THE STREET.... PEOPLE LIKE YOU OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP IN REMOTE JUNGLES TO ROT........TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT WHAT YOU WROTE!!!!!! YOU CAN NOT EVEN MAKE 1 CLEAR SENTENCE..... IF I WERE YOU, I WILL GO LOOK FOR ROPE AND HANG YOURSELF.... YOU ARE WORTHY OF LEAVING......I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WOMAN THAT GAVE BIRTH TO YOU BCOS SHE DOESNT HAVE A SON... ALL SHE HAS IS A BIG GOAT

I KEEP TAKIN UR OWO, UR 310 POUNDS SO LONG AS I WAN U OBELE NSI STUPID BOI BOI
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UCHU GBA KWA GI
DUMB MUMU YOU DONT
KNOW HOW TO MAKE MONEY THEN YOU WILL BE A POOR FOR EVER.

At this point anyone who is interested may have some fun with this lad o’ mine, as I am done with him.

Also, if any of you seasoned baiters can translate the juicy bits at the end, I am not sure if he was truly believing he was dolla chopped or not. Cant decipher his weirdness…

All in all, fun times. Hope you enjoyed it.