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Sex-starved Tikka Masala Joined: 04 Mar 2011 Posts: 259

I found this in one of my catcher's, and it sho'nuff ain't no lad format:

Quote:

Invitation to the 3rd Nigerian 419 e-mail seminar
(Sponsored by Western Union)
To be held at The Sheraton, Lagos with teleconferencing through to The Sheraton, Amsterdam
November 29 – November 30, 2011

GREETINGS !!

I COME TO YOU WITH A SINCERE HEART BELIEVING IN ALMIGHTY GOD THAT YOU WILL CONSIDER MY INVITATION AND COME TO HELP AND ALSO BENEFIT FROM ME.
This letter might surprise you because we have not met neither in person nor by correspondence. But I believe it is one day that you get to know somebody either in physical or through correspondence. I got your contact through some discreet inquiry from the chamber of commerce and industry, you and your organization were revealed as being quite astute in private entrepreneurship, one has no doubt in your ability to handle a financial business transaction.

All delegates are reminded that they should keep this matter highly reticent pending the actualization of the seminar. I would want you to contact me immediately so that we can proceed with the booking. You should please on reply enclose your private telephone, fax number so that we can have more confidential correspondence.

Subjects to be covered during the seminar:-

1 - THE CASE FOR ALL CAPS

This highly controversial subject has divided opinion amongst our delegates in previous years. Some, such as Basher Mobutu Sese-Seko, are firmly of the belief that using ALL UPPERCASE CHARACTERS lends a certain style to their message, whilst some of the more progressive delegates believe that this is a style that has now passed its sell-by date. There will be a 2 hour debate on the subject with delegates voting on the question after the discussion.

2 - The effectiveness of Religious phrases

A recent survey has shown that 89% of previous delegates continue to scatter religious phrases and references to God throughout their correspondence. There will be an open-forum discussion on the subject led by “Deacon” John Osa of Dove Ministry Inc. All delegates will receive a 14 page booklet containing the most frequently used psalms.

3 - “Modalities” – Is it time to stop using this phrase?

If previous seminars are anything to go on this will be one of the most hotly debated topics. Champions of the phrase continue to argue that it is part of our scamming heritage whilst some of our younger delegates reason that, outside of our own circle, it is a totally unknown term.

4 - How to make those grammatical errors REALLY WORK for you

An in-depth workshop session led by a number of our leading barristers. On completion of the session delegates will be able to master the most excruciating grammatical savaging of the English language. This haves been won of the most poppular seshons in preevyas seminarse –arryve urly two a voyde dis appoyntmeant.

5 - Try to be creative with your story

One of Nigeria’s leading psychologists explores and analyses the success rate of various sales pitches including:- The expatriate dying in a tragic air-crash, leaving no known relatives, the Ministry of Petroleum official who has a fund of millions of dollars through deliberate over-invoicing of a project, the Zimbabwean / Sierra Leone orphans who tragically lost their highly popular father through gang murder.

Following the psychologist’s analysis one of Nigeria’s most creative authors will explore new scenarios that will have the Westerners begging to send us more money.

6 - E-mail lists – How to use and sell on

Delegates will be given invaluable advice on how to buy lists of intended victims at the lowest cost, use them and sell them on at a profit.

7 - Adobe Photoshop – The modern alternative to potato-print forged documents

A hands-on 2 hour tutorial covering the basics in Adobe Photoshop. At the end of the session delegates will have learned how to produce professional-quality forgeries of wills, Central Bank documentation and the all-important list of handling and demurrage charges from various security companies. Specialist techniques covered will include Government official stamps and fake passports.

8 - The Way Forward - How to set up a fake on-line bank website quickly and cheaply

An explanation of the benefits of using today’s technology to convince your victims that the bank really exists and to use this technology to withdraw money from their accounts in the shortest possible time. All delegates will be entitled to a 10% discount when using the course-approved webmasters.

9 - Internet e-mail accounts

Exploring the advantages of rapidly setting up multiple e-mail accounts with:-
Hotmail, Yahoo, Netscape, EC Plaza, Rediffmail, Indiatimes, Phantomemail, Zwallet and many
others.
(Also includes how to avoid common mistakes such as using one name at the start of the e-mail
message and signing off with another name.)

Book today to avoid disappointment.
Delegate numbers will be strictly limited to the first 15,000 applicants.

Send your Western Union payment of $750 to Scam-Masters Inc, 14 Ikoge Lane, Apapa, Lagos

Test Question:-Why, Test Answer:-Why Not

No bookings will be confirmed until a scanned copy of the Western Union receipt and Control Number has been received and verified. (No forged receipts please)

Yours in God’s Vineyard
--
DAISEY DUKE
20051 Auburn Drive
Boagus, W Dakota
USA
206-600-5779 voice or fax

At first I was all like Laughing

Then I was all like Confused

There's something not quite right about this me thinks.

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:33 am

It's been around for a while, I think. Check out http://j-walk.com/other/conf/ (I still don't know how to do that clicky-linky thing) or type "3rd annual nigerian" in Google.

It's probably been mentioned in here a thousand times already, but still funny.

Sex-starved Tikka Masala Joined: 04 Mar 2011 Posts: 259

I prolly should've searched the forum before posting. Thanks!