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bravo95
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2010
Posts: 1990
Location: Wouldn't you like to know...
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 3:33 pm |
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Today I am starting a Master Cleanse regiment. If your not familiar with the procedure you can find more info here http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_Cleanse
Basically you just drink a concoction they call lemonade and water. No food. Worst of all no alcohol!!
Your supposed to do it for 7-10 days but being the procrastinator I am I waited too long. I'm going on vacation next week and I don't want to do this insane ritual while on vacation. I had to go to a crab boil yesterday so there was no way I was starting this past weekend. So I'm just doing 5 days. If I can make it the 5 days I will try it again later for 7.
I'm supposed to keep a journal about my feelings and bs. Instead of writting it down I decided to post it hear so you guys can <strike>encourage</strike> laugh at me.
Quote: |
Day one:
Woke up at 6:00am excited to start my cleansing! Made my first batch of "lemonade" for the day. I tried doing the warm sea salt laxative but almost threw up. Probably because I skipped the pre-diet warm up yesterday and instead ate a few pounds of crab and several beers. I opted for a regular laxative and will try the salt water thing tomorrow. The "lemonade" is not too bad. Not crazy about the cayenne powder but it's in the recipe for a reason. So far not too hungry from skipping breakfast. The hunger probably won't really hit until 3 today. So far so good. |
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bohigal
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Aug 2007
Posts: 7226
Location: Epstein's Delicatessen
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 3:45 pm |
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Oh you're doing it to yourself. I thought you were cleansing Master.
Good luck, see you on the other side. |
_________________
Stop typing in french, am seriously dissapointed....am just confused!!!
You will have my nuts in your hands as soon as i have the latrine in my hand & i will pay the goats to the lawyer
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bravo95
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2010
Posts: 1990
Location: Wouldn't you like to know...
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 3:47 pm |
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^^I tried but as soon as I had him all cleaned up and in his seersucker suit he went outside and played in a mud puddle. |
_________________ Trophies!
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Shortstuff
Brother Mike co-bait with NWM : Agbor, Nigeria to Douala
Brother Mike again with the help of Juan and Allst@R : Agbor to Abuja
Pastor Clet Star Wars Safari Accra-Bauchi Co-Bait with NWM and the Rebels
Justice my He@vy Elecric1ty lad Accra to Tamale with the help of Alls@r and Juan
Operation "Lagos spy"
The Dynamic Dumbasses |
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TheFae
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 Jun 2009
Posts: 14295
Location: Playing Space in the Street - DECENT!
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 3:55 pm |
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Good luck, Bravo! I can assure you that you *will* have a headache soon. Stay hydrated!! We're expected to hit 101F today and I can't imagine it's going to be any cooler for you. |
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Mortal
Baiting Guru
Joined: 02 Jul 2009
Posts: 3473
Location: Smarter than your smartphone™
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 4:46 pm |
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Ha! Good luck, you'll need it.
Id survive week with no alcohol, but no food.... Gosh, that'd kill me. |
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Caligula
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 May 2009
Posts: 4774
Location: Growing old
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 4:50 pm |
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Quote: |
I tried doing the warm sea salt laxative but almost threw up. |
Sounds logical. People over here use warm, salty water as a vomit-inducing method. I'm afraid that tomorrow won't be any better.
I hope the weight gain after the diet won't be too much
Anyways, best of luck. I'd never be able to do such a diet. I enjoy eating far too much |
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Slightlyoutofit
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
Location: Foraging for Nuts.
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 4:58 pm |
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For dinner tonight, I am having Bacon, Sausage, Black Pudding, Fried Eggs, Mushrooms, Fried Onions, Grilled Tomatoes, Baked Beans, Toasted Bread and a nice cup of tea.
Good luck with your lemonade.
BTW. Here's my journal:
Quote: |
I'll probably eat so much, I'll puke.
Happy days!! |
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_________________
God will see you true for all this you have done to me you bastard. - Collins Kalu
MAY THE HAND THAT TYPE ON KEYBORD BECOME STRICKEN AND TRANSMIT VIRUS TO YOU ENTIRE BODY. - Dr Linda Akeem
oh what a mess its time cabbage punks like u will be expose for trully what they are. - David Cole |
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Olly3008
419Eater is my life
Joined: 19 Jan 2011
Posts: 354
Location: In Abraham's Panties
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 5:07 pm |
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^^ Dinner of the gods ^^
Goodluck with the diet buddy Unfortunetly i've failed, i just had a mcdonalds. |
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Todger Club member since 16/06/2011.
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Ima Baeder
Baiting Guru
Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 18313
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 5:20 pm |
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Why are you doing this to yourself? It sounds very unpleasant. I'd never make it past the first day. |
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bravo95
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2010
Posts: 1990
Location: Wouldn't you like to know...
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 5:34 pm |
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^^ To be honest just to see if I have more will power than my wife. She tried this a month ago and only made it 24 hours. She is anxiously waiting for me to give up. This morning before I left her and the kids were eating a big stack of fluffy pancakes |
_________________ Trophies!
Off to see the wizard!
Shortstuff
Brother Mike co-bait with NWM : Agbor, Nigeria to Douala
Brother Mike again with the help of Juan and Allst@R : Agbor to Abuja
Pastor Clet Star Wars Safari Accra-Bauchi Co-Bait with NWM and the Rebels
Justice my He@vy Elecric1ty lad Accra to Tamale with the help of Alls@r and Juan
Operation "Lagos spy"
The Dynamic Dumbasses |
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Morgain Le Fay
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Oct 2010
Posts: 5800
Location: Taking my new .38 special to the range
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 6:32 pm |
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I think I would rather have a colonoscopy which is over with in a couple hours than go through that Master Cleanse therapy for 7-10 days! |
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Baitsamurai
Baiting Guru
Joined: 30 Mar 2010
Posts: 2186
Location: in the mind of my pet-lad
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:04 pm |
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After the first day it becomes way easier...
most important is that your colon is empty... then the hunger will be gone...
[img]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enema[/img] sombody told me that this is helping but there is also a bunch of natural laxatives to try first
the first food after will be the best food in your life... |
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bravo95
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2010
Posts: 1990
Location: Wouldn't you like to know...
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:22 pm |
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Baitsamurai wrote: |
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enema |
Not that desperate yet but tomorrow is another day. I wish NN was still around. |
_________________ Trophies!
Off to see the wizard!
Shortstuff
Brother Mike co-bait with NWM : Agbor, Nigeria to Douala
Brother Mike again with the help of Juan and Allst@R : Agbor to Abuja
Pastor Clet Star Wars Safari Accra-Bauchi Co-Bait with NWM and the Rebels
Justice my He@vy Elecric1ty lad Accra to Tamale with the help of Alls@r and Juan
Operation "Lagos spy"
The Dynamic Dumbasses |
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TheDane
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Posts: 5194
Location: Meanwhile, somewhere else...
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:40 pm |
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Not to put down your hopes, but back in college, one of the others went on that diet. He got terribly ill. No kidding. |
_________________ x122 x3 x2 x2 x13
Trafalgar Square 2013
Goat Milk Lad 2012-13:
Lagos-Ouagadougou-Arbinda Warri-Yaoundé
I AM A FOOL AND I AM SO DISAPPOINTED - Brother Okei AKA Goat Milk Lad
I do not wish my enemy what I have experienced and this humiliation you are putting me through - Rushforth (on behalf of Dharma & Dr Mike) |
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bravo95
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2010
Posts: 1990
Location: Wouldn't you like to know...
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:26 pm |
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^^Yeah I've heard a couple stories and my timing is great right before vacation. Our neighbor down the street did it and had good results. Some people go all hardcore and do the max 21 days. No way I could come close to that. |
_________________ Trophies!
Off to see the wizard!
Shortstuff
Brother Mike co-bait with NWM : Agbor, Nigeria to Douala
Brother Mike again with the help of Juan and Allst@R : Agbor to Abuja
Pastor Clet Star Wars Safari Accra-Bauchi Co-Bait with NWM and the Rebels
Justice my He@vy Elecric1ty lad Accra to Tamale with the help of Alls@r and Juan
Operation "Lagos spy"
The Dynamic Dumbasses |
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Boris_YELLsome
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 03 Mar 2011
Posts: 872
Location: Nowhereville
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:36 pm |
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bravo95 wrote: |
^^ To be honest just to see if I have more will power than my wife. She tried this a month ago and only made it 24 hours. She is anxiously waiting for me to give up. This morning before I left her and the kids were eating a big stack of fluffy pancakes |
Your wife sounds smart. No offence, but this sounds incredibly unhealthy, its sugar, water, acid, and stuff to make you poop...there's no protein, or other vitamins. Your muscles will start to atrophy on this. Why on earth don't you just drink more water and eat more raw vegetables? |
_________________
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Jim Morrison
Elite Baiter
Joined: 12 Mar 2010
Posts: 1848
Location: Taking a face from the ancient gallery
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:39 pm |
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as someone who knows a bit about the human body, please stop doing this, these kind of diets have the same scientifical basis as parapsichology |
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Mortal
Baiting Guru
Joined: 02 Jul 2009
Posts: 3473
Location: Smarter than your smartphone™
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:48 pm |
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bravo95 wrote: |
Some people go all hardcore and do the max 21 days. |
Yes, relative of mine wanted to go for 40 days!!! because he read some messed up articles and he said he'll get to the point where he lives off "astral matter"... He's a bit out of his mind, don't know how long did he go though... |
_________________ x87 x5
Ugly Duckling with Mountain Goat and Osazee : Cameroon -> Nigeria
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George: Accra -> Togo I really want to do business with you, because i know you are an Angel send to rescue me by God.
x6
GOD PUNISH YOU, GOD PUNISH YOU, GOD PUNISH YOU. Mr. Olisa
Every night a phonecall from you, you talk rubbish. Mr. Olisa
Juan's hidden fries! |
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TheDane
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Posts: 5194
Location: Meanwhile, somewhere else...
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:54 pm |
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Mortal wrote: |
he said he'll get to the point where he lives off "astral matter"... |
That must've been the lemon juice talking. |
_________________ x122 x3 x2 x2 x13
Trafalgar Square 2013
Goat Milk Lad 2012-13:
Lagos-Ouagadougou-Arbinda Warri-Yaoundé
I AM A FOOL AND I AM SO DISAPPOINTED - Brother Okei AKA Goat Milk Lad
I do not wish my enemy what I have experienced and this humiliation you are putting me through - Rushforth (on behalf of Dharma & Dr Mike) |
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Boris_YELLsome
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 03 Mar 2011
Posts: 872
Location: Nowhereville
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 9:00 pm |
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^^^^^
More likely the lack of vitamin B 1, since there is shit all in lemons,which results in confabulation and amnesia. It's the same deficiency that happens to alcoholics, which is where the image of the drunk who makes up stories comes from.
*edit - Apparently it has some thiamine in it. But only 4% of your daily need per lemon. |
_________________
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C0nv0y/P4tr1ck Co-Bait with Baitsamurai: Lagos - Abuja - Lagos - Cotonou
Cannot confirm nor deny I am part of any club having to do with Todgers
<i>"I am so sorry if i sound rude,please pardon me for God's sake"</i>
"please i will not like a situation whereby you call this innocent man funny names"
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"I AM A VERY BUSY MAN AND HAVE NO TIME FOR FOLLY"
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NICOMPOOL, DIE YOUNG K. |
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Master
Baiting Guru
Joined: 29 Jan 2008
Posts: 2531
Location: AU
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 9:54 pm |
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master drunk crabs stories
so this thread is about me |
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All you did is a bunches of fucked-up!FIRE burn the G0mers!
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it was all a big fuck of disappointed
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Nailgunner
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 May 2008
Posts: 8727
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:19 pm |
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sounds like snake oil, and deliberately drinking salt water will kill you as it throws over your proper sodium balance like an overcooked Jenga.
Plenty of rice, wholemeal bread, fresh veg, buy decent meat and less of it, lots of water and less alcohol and plenty of sleep. I'm only aspiring to these ideals, and I eat plenty of trash and poison, but I don't think I'd try to live on lemonade.
Astral matter, ffs, darwin would be proud. Did he live? |
_________________
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Morgain Le Fay
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Oct 2010
Posts: 5800
Location: Taking my new .38 special to the range
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:37 pm |
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I think all that salt in the water would not be good for one's BP, as we are supposed to avoid salt, save some cases in extremely hot weather. |
_________________ X42
Nash and 6 friends 488 Km within Ghana - bait with Agda (2012)
Safari Philip Ghana-Benin (bait w/Agda) 2013
x5
.edu's 260 reported
Click here to support 419Eater.com
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The website below is available for Eater folks to use.
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dwatina
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Posts: 7164
Location: Home of the Orangemen! Friends call me Doc
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:40 pm |
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I'll stick with my diet:
Beverage of Choice: Beer
Food: Boxed Mac & Cheese
But seriously--I'd be afraid to try something like the Master Cleanse Regiment. |
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doc holliday
Squirrels Hate Me
Joined: 06 Feb 2008
Posts: 2477
Location: Behind the Oriental,taking potshots at hitlads.
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Posted:
Mon Jun 06, 2011 11:14 pm |
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This diet sounds more like something you should be inflicting on a lad than trying yourself. |
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You have given me enough stress through the shit you sent to me
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