Scam Baiters Anonymous: When you can't stop baiting lads

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Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 8:01 pm

I'm addicted to scambaiting and I'm obviously not alone in this highly amusing, habit forming hobby. I envision a time when we have our own 12 step program. A typical meeting might go something like this...

Quote:

ADMINISTRATOR
Welcome to Scam Baiters Anonymous. I see we have a few new faces tonight, welcome. Please keep in mind that what is said in this room stays in this room and off the internet. As always, first names only. I know a lot of people want to use their clever baiting names: Hugh G Rections, Jack Meoff, Dixie Normus, but please try and refrain. Absolutely no email address are to be given out or phished. Great, let’s begin. Who wants to start today. Yes, hi, go ahead.

PHIL
Hi, my name is Phil. And I’m a scam baiter.

EVERYONE
Hi Phil.

PHIL
I’ve been baiting mugu’s nonstop for six years. I specialize in lotto lads and getting bank accounts terminated. Go Alan. Occasionally I’ll bait a next of kin scam to mix it up. I’m really trying to curb this addiction. It’s hard. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to check my email or sign some guest books for my catcher account. My wife recently left me because of my baiting. I wrote a three page response to some lad, yet for her birthday I just signed my name on a Hallmark card. She’s pissed. On weekends I like to hang out at my local Western Union – look for something I may have missed. You know, a new angle to mess with the lads. Well, thanks for listening.

ADMINISTRATOR
Thanks Phil. Sorry about the wife. Who wants to go next?

GAIL
Hi, my name is Gail and I’m a scam baiter.

EVERYONE
Hi Gail.

GAIL
I’ve been baiting for about three years. When I started I just read the 419 emails and responded straight. Which is really a gateway bait… the straight bait. That led to eventually getting some lads to go on safari which in turn led me to coaxing them to get tattoos and finally I even had one lad who went on safari for a tattoo in order to join my church ‘The Chapel of the Holy Bagel.’ I thought I had my baiting under control until one day I chopped this lads dollar and I couldn’t stop. I just kept chopping and chopping his dollar, over and over. Every lad, I chopped his dollar. The other day I went shopping at the dollar store and I tried to chop their dollar. It’s out of control. I named my dog Gomer. I need help people before I chop again. Somebody else speak, I’m done.

ADMINISTRATOR
Thanks for sharing Gail. You’re in the right place. Next.

BARRISTER
Hello. My name is Barrister James Idris. I’m from London. I’m just sitting in. Curious. One love bros.

ADMINISTRATOR
Glad to have you with us Barrister Idris. From London was it? Okay, go ahead.

DON
Hi, my name is Don.

EVERYONE
Hi Don.

DON
I’m a big baiter. Master baiter. I got into this baiting thing after I was scammed. I thought I won the Google, Shell, UK lottos all in one week. I didn’t. Learned the hard way. Now I bait back. I bait safe. Remove my IP. K7 phone. You know, all the stuff in the stickies. I’m a ruthless Gmail Joker. My longest bait is 37 weeks without once giving out a phony Western Union MTCN. Frankly, I prefer Money Gram. Each has there own merits. I like to mix up my baits. Keep it fresh. I’m fluent in Pidgen English if anybody needs some pointers.

ADMINISTRATOR
Thank you Don. I’m glad you’re baiting safe. I think we have time for one more. Yes.

NANCY
Hi, I’m Nancy.

EVERYONE
Hi, Nancy.

NANCY
I’ve never done this baiting thing before I just like going to meetings. I have esophageal cancer which has defiled all forms of medical treatment and the cancer has got to the really bad stage. My mother died in a plane crash and my father was killed by rebels. My husband and I are born again Christians but he died after a brief illness which lasted only three days and fourteen minutes. I don’t have any children but I do have a pet goat. I had you people going there… Yes, I’m a baiter, premium membership six years running, six thousand posts over at you know where. Hey, are there snacks after the meeting?

ADMINISTRATOR
Thanks for sharing Nancy. Your message has been received and the content was well understood. Okay, we have a little bit of business before we conclude tonight's meeting. I have a pin to give out to Jeff. Congratulations are in order; Jeff has gone the longest period of time without baiting anyone. Jeff please come up and get your three day pin. Kudos. Stay strong. Let’s wrap up. Who wants to read the 12 steps. Oh, okay. Barrister Idris, you have the honor tonight.

Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our baiting addiction – that our pretend characters lives had become unmanageable

Step 2 - Came to believe that a power greater than Shiver Metimbers could restore us to sanity

Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our catcher accounts over to the care of a bona fide mentor

Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of all our email accounts

Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our siggy lines

Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have a diplomat fly to our country and remove all these quirks of character

Step 7 - Humbly asked a lad to urgently respond to our requests mindful of his shortcomings at the internet cafe

Step 8 - Made a list of all persons the mugu’s had harmed, and became willing to make amends to all of them

Step 9 - Made direct email amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others and only then asked them to hold up a sign with our baiting name or snappy quip written on it

Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly slap the lad and admit nothing

Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry out forty separate baits at once

Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other baiters, and to practice these principles in all our modalities

By all means feel free to unburden yourself here at SBA. You're amongst friends so go ahead and chime in.

Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 9:08 pm

this is so true.

Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 2:02 am

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 27 Dec 2010 Posts: 586

@Spurious: really funny! Laughing

Now use that same imagination and get back to baiting! Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2003 Posts: 4747

It’s only a habit, I can quit anytime. Yeah that’s it is all under control.

Question, if people are planning an intervention can I pick the place? One word, Safari. Chad is a lovely place for an intervention!

Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 6:43 am

I love it! clapping

Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 8:15 am

I tried to cure my scambaiting addiction by wearing the 100% risky free RSOT patches. They were brill - until I checked my gmail accounts ... Laughing

Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 10:00 am

I admit it - I'm addicted too. But why fight it? This is one addiction that is actually balm for the soul. Laughing

Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 11:56 pm

Uh…hang on a minute. When you illustrate a typical addict. And for your convienience sake you call him Phil.

Can you see me even though I don't have a cam?

Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 3:47 am

^^^ I see you PHIL. Very Happy

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 3:26 pm

Very funny stuff, Spurious. Laughing

"Hi, my name is Pat. Baiting has changed me. I used to be a man, now I'm a woman. I yell at lads and then make them hug goats while wearing cute matching outfits. I'm sick and demented. How can I stop?!!"

Admin: "You are beyond help, so you might as well keep going. Just get a video next time. And for God sakes, have a real woman take you out and get some more fashionable outfits for yourself before the next meeting. You are disturbing to all of the men in the room."

What I wanna know is, how do you get a baiter off of Mafia Wars addiction?
Looking at Sleepless right now.... Wink

Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 4:04 pm

Hi. MY names Wowwow and I'm a scambaitaholic.

I've been baiting seriously for almost 3 years after my pet lad was lost in a freak trunk accident. Apparently he got himself locked in a non-existent trunk and nobody could ever find him again.
Since then I'm up to 3 lads a day. I'm now an Elite baiter who analyzes every detail of emails scammers send and writes silly things about them in a post that has been going for years. I also scour other people posts for funny and strange snippets to add to it. I regularly double post and write my drivle for all those who wish to read it, and I am proud of it. The thread is now so long, that if you were to string out the letters in a line, it would reach to the moon and back, twice.
I harvest scam emails from my works anti-spam firewall (which I am in charge of).
I haven't told my boss I do this, as I probably spend more time baiting than I do working. But best they don't know as I would probably get fired.
Please help me ..

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