El Scorcho's back - Keep an eye out for this format...

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Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 12:06 pm

Having been away from scambaiting for a while, I felt it was time to get a daft format out into lad-land again (there's only so much freelance graphic design work I can do without feeling this need!)

Benjamin is desperate to work with Gomer, and being the kind-hearted sould that the G-man is, suppled Benjamin with his freshest and biggest money-making format to work with:

Quote:

Dear Friend,

Thank goodness that I have made contact with you just in time, it is good to know that another one could well be saved from an inevitable doom. Please, I don’t mean to alarm you, but let me explain why I have contacted you. I send this in the best interests of your life, your family and your future.

My name is Professor Walter Bishop, a lead scientist here at the Fringe Division, a subsidiary company of Massive Dynamic based here in New Yor, see here - http://www.massivedynamic.com. Massive Dynamic is a multi-billion-dollar corporation responsible for research, development and production in a variety of different high-tech fields. These include, but are not limited to; weapons testing, robotics, medical equipment, aeronautics, genetics and pharmaceuticals.

We here in the Fringe Division have, in recent months, have been monitoring the situation regarding claims that the rapture was due to take place on the 21st May 2011. Please see this: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-preacher-warns-end-of-the-world-is-nigh-21-may-around-6pm-to-be-precise-2254139.html

It was believed that the predicted rapture did not take place at all – however, I have conducted my own research and have very different answers.

Using nothing more than a knife, a rampant rabbit and a Sega Megadrive, I have managed to detect a 18,500% increase in underground seismic activity, volcanic activity, and bowel movements. I have also recognised a 125% drop in Christian and evangelic activities worldwide.
On top of these facts, I have used a delicate instrument called a deep-penetrable analiser, which allows me to take a glimpse into the future, a ‘window’ if you like – and what I see is indescribable. Fires, monsoons, and nothing but top 40 music.

These catastrophic events will, according to my calculations, take place within the next three months. This will leave just enough time to evacuate a select amount of people to a safe place – I am asking if you would like to be one of these select few.

Please understand that nobody but myself, and a select few know about this. This has all been findings of my own personal research. I have made a full, comprehensive evacuation plan that will save lives, and ultimately the human race.

If you are willing to be a part of this, then please email be back with the following information:

Name:
Age:
Gender:
Address:

Upon your reply, I will furnish you with more detailed information about the evacuation plan, the next steps and any other questions you may have. Right now, time is against us. You can already see the signs, such as tornado’s in the Midwest United States.

You can contact me at my private box – [email protected].

Saluations, Godspeed, and I wish you luck.

Professor Walter Bishop
Fringe Division
Massive Dynamic

He's already sent this out apparently, but I thought I'd try and give him a helping hand. If you feel you need evacuating, and trust Professor Walter Bishop (you Fringe fans will know who I'm on about Wink

) then fire him off an email! We had a lot of fun with the last professor who tried to do a similar thing (see here: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=182807).

If his box dies at any point let me know, and I'll encourage him to open a new one! Very Happy

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 4:14 pm

Welcome back, El Scorcho. Very Happy

Many lads' lives will be saved from doom, I'm sure. Smile

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 4:21 pm

Love it Fringe meets 2011. Huge Fringe fan. This is too hard to resist. Laughing

Welcome back btw!

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 5:02 pm

Thanks guys Very Happy

Huge Fringe fan too, I think I'm having withdrawals over it being the end of the season! Oh well, Walter would be proud of us!

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 6:25 pm

LMAO! I just got his reply. I think I like the second script even better than the first. Well thought out plan indeed.

Quote:

My friend Rev. Landon,
Thank you for the reply. I am glad you are with me in this, obviously I do not want to tell too many people about this because of the mass panic that it could cause, so I would be grateful if you could keep this close to your chest for the time being. As I said in my last email, I have drawn up an evacuation plan that will allow us to continue the human race. I have named it ‘Operation: Noah’s Space Submarine’. Please, let me tell you more about this plan.

Once I have gathered everybody together (about 100 people) we plan to meet at 12pm on the 30th June at Key West Country Club in Florida, USA. Here, a submarine will be waiting for us in which we will board with no more than two bags each of essential items. This submarine will be specially built by contractors of Massive Dynamic, whom I have made special arrangements with. The upcoming devastation worldwide will have little impact on the submarine, as it is built using zebalonium, the same material used to build such impenetrable machines such as C3-PO, K-9. and Wall-E.

We will remain in the sub for a minimum of 6 months, until the main events have passed. By this time, little land will remain, however we will search for whatever does remain and use it to our advantage. If this part of the plan does not go smoothly, the submarine actually doubles as a space shuttle. We will not be afraid to move into space, just as Matt Le Blanc and co did in Lost In Space. However, plans for that option will be settled at a later date. We will contact Star Trek for information on how to survive in space.

Of course, I would be lying if I said that this evacuation is free. I have emailed you because I want you on that submarine, and I am pleased you have taken an interest. The cost of the submarine, food, clothing and other essentials has cost me $500,000. If you want to be part of this evacuation, you will be required to pay the small sum of $5000 as soon as you possibly can. Once I receive this, your name will be taken down and I we can begin making arrangement for you to travel to Florida in a months time.

Please email me back, and if you have any questions regarding the payment - I would be happy to answer them.

God speed. We will survive.

Professor Walter Bishop
Fringe Division
Massive Dynamic

My reply

Quote:

Dear Professor,
I thank God I received your email. It is clear you have thought all this out thoroughly. I do have a couple questions.

Obviously it will be up to us to repopulate the earth. Can you assure me you have found pretty women to be part of this project? It will be very difficult for me to mate with ugly women and produce offspring.

Also I am a little embarrassed to admit this but I am a rather large man of 450 pounds. I am short though only 5'3". Will this be an issue? I know you probably only have a limited amount of space on the submarine.

Please get back to me I am very interested.

Rev Landon

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 7:40 pm

Haha, foolproof! Hopefully this can turn into a nice little mass-bait. I would be happy to remain as Gomer - however I might just lay low for a few days because Benny Boy is asking me to write replies for him. No no no, Gomer's too busy for that - especially with him being in the US on business.

I want to test his initiative. Wink

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 8:00 pm

Welcome back El Scorcho Very Happy

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 10:34 pm

Welcome back, El Scorcho! I've missed you, buddy Smile

I had so much fun the last time with your mass bait. It was epic!!!

I'm off to send Professor Bishop an email.

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 12:08 am

Just sent an email. This sounds like fun.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 20 May 2011 Posts: 21

I just got the second email! Love the canned reply and looking forward to this. My character is Dr. Loafa Bred and I'm debating what kind of doctor to be. I'm thinking a doctor in psychology since a 6 month sub ride could be traumatic. I know the last "professor" bait had a doctor, so I'm open to other suggestions.

I've submitted one bank account to Alan on a previous bait, but got dumped before I could confirm it got shut down. How do I get the piggy?

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 12:44 am

Just got the standard reply back (same one as Bravo).

I need to decide on my character's personality Wink

EDIT: Bigal888--you won't get a confirmation. Once you turn in an account, just add the piggy.

Here's what you put in, but DELETE the spaces after the first colon and the space before the last colon. Put that in your profile sig.

And welcome to Eater!

: $_lad :

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 1:14 am

I seriously hope we get this one just as paranoid as Manhor Laughing

rumour is that he's still in counseling. He sleeps with one eye open, shutters in front of his windows and this on his door: http://blog.ncsa.uiuc.edu/aashish/files/2009/03/security-door-ii.jpg

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 1:43 am

^^I had that guy going for almost 8 months (after he had given up). He was so much fun.

He definitely needed counseling after the shit we put him through Smile

I think I still have his phone number. It might be nice to call and chat...

The Manhor bait lives in infamy.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 20 May 2011 Posts: 21

Here's the good Dr. Loafa Bred. Hope everyone is ok with psychedelic drugs on the submarine:

Quote:

I'm glad to see I am on the short list of people that will be allowed to live and continue the human race long after the rapture has come and gone. I feel my life has blessed me to the point that I will pay anything to ensure that my wife and I can be on this submarine. Luckily for everyone involved, I am a doctor of pharma-psychology and will be able to make psychedelic drugs to make everyone calm. The only problem is that I will need a laboratory on the sub to conduct my business. I will pay an extra $2500 plus cost if you can ensure that this lab will be on the sub with all the right chemicals. If you can promise me that, I will forward on a list of the chemicals I need.

What happens if the government finds out about this submarine? Will they kick all of us off and take it over? What kind of security is there around this sub at the current moment?

Thanks for all you have done,
Dr. Loafa Bred

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 1:04 pm

Wow, this guy is lazy. His response to my questions about his plan simply consisted of copy and pasting his opening script and putting "I think i made it clear in my first letter to you that" in front of it.

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 1:09 pm

Keep on at him. He's apparently hard-up for cash - he keeps telling Gomer how much he needs this money. If he needs it that bad, he'll answer then damn questions Wink

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 2:19 pm

Lado is out of script and trying to recycle some of it. Interesting the dowwn payment is 450 pounds as that was my weight...

Quote:

Hello Rev Landon,
I read from your swift response but i wonder if really you are Rev? we are talking about life not pretty or ugly women, i think you have to be serious alright.

Right now am here in West Africa for the evacuation because i believe Africa, need of this evacuation before the deadline meeting at 12pm on the 30th June at Key West Country Club in Florida, USA.

Yes we have a limited amount of space on the submarine, actually doubles as a space shuttle that will contain less than 100 people, your height has noting to do with.

Regarding of the fee, note that the fee is fixed amount of $5,000 without any reduction of cent but we advice people that are interested to make deposit bit by bit if they don't have all the total sum at hand but will make sure that they complete the balance before the dated 30th June of 2011.

In this case when you are ready to make the payment of 450 pounds, keep me inform so that i will give to you instruction on how to make the payment direct to me here in West Africa.

looking forward urgent of your response.

God speed. We will survive.

Professor Walter Bishop
Fringe Division
Massive Dynamic

My reply

Quote:

Good day Professor,
Of course I am a Reverend but the good Lord blessed me with flesh and we will need to repopulate the world after the rapture will we not?

I have meet several professors in my time and to be honest I do not really trust their judgment with the ladies. Can I buy two places on the submarine? I have a young lady I visit at a local establishment when I get lonely and the churches coffers runith over. Her name is Cinnamon and I think her skills could come in handy with rebuilding the human race. Please let me know if this is a possibility.

I want this transaction to begin on trust so I am attaching a picture of myself.

Rev Landon

Not quite a Newb Joined: 20 May 2011 Posts: 21

Alright, I need some advice/help being the new one here. My response back from the professor (which is similar to the previous ones) is below - what I need to come up with is a list of chemicals Dr. Bred needs for this trip. Any ideas?
How should I play this? Do you guys think it is reasonable that I could get him to produce a receipt showing he bought this stuff (a photochopped one would be awesome if set up right)?
Also, I want a picture of this submarine...how can we get that?

Quote:

Hello Dr.Loafa Bred,
Thanks a lot for your swift response and the content of your questions. Yes i assure you that medical equipment,lab and pharmaceuticals will be available on the sub with all the essentials and enough necessary food and clothing, which cost me the sum of $500,000 and note that am a lead scientist here at the Fringe Division, a subsidiary company of Massive Dynamic based here in New York, anyway you can still forward the list of the chemicals that you need.

What we need only from you is the evacuation required fee of $5,000 each If you want to be part of this evacuation but if you want to make an addition fee that is acceptable.Right now am in West Africa, for the evacuation project because Africa also need it, before our meeting deadline at 12pm on the 30th June at Key West Country Club in Florida, USA. If you are ready in this evacuation, make the required payment because time is not on our side and a lot of people are ready for this evacuation but we will not take more than 100 people and the choice is yours and update me if you want to make the payment so that i will inform you how to make the payment direct to me.

Listen, Government has no power to stop this evacuation even though they find out because am a full registered lead scientist here at the Fringe Division and a subsidiary company of Massive Dynamic based here in New York. I am assuring that they security is 100% free risk as it is built using zebalonium, the same material used to build such impenetrable machines such as C3-PO, K-9. and Wall-E, so the security is 100% sure OK.

Looking forward urgent of your response as soon as possible.

God speed. We will survive.

Professor Walter Bishop
Fringe Division
Massive Dynamic

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 2:45 pm

^^ Just play it slow and ask for one thing at a time. I was thinking of asking for a pic of the submarine too want to see how it converts to a spaceship Laughing

I think your idea about him buying the chemicals is great but set the hook first get him to trust you and ease into it.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 20 May 2011 Posts: 21

How is everyone else coming along with this guy? He asked me for a passport scan...seeing as we are only traveling to Florida I just sent him a random picture of a bunch of doctors standing around. Also, apparently our lad went to the New York Institute of Technology and wouldn't you know, so did one of the random guys in the photo I sent him. It seems too that the lad now believes the list of chemicals is important and is pressing me to get it to him ASAP.

Quote:

Dear Dr.Loafa Bred,,

I acknowledge the receipt of your email response and picture that you sent. Wesley Webber, is one of the chosen scientists under Massive Dynamic and i travel with him to West Africa, to be my representative and also to assist me because i alone can not handle the evacuation plan in West Africa. Listen i personally choose the ten scientists with the experience i heard with them as contractors of Massive Dynamic, which I have made special arrangements with them and they have 100% qualified experience i need in this sub.

Yes your colleague Dr.Joneson, may not know me as well due to i may graduated before him in the NYIT.I have my good follow professors, such as Prof. Pascal Edward, Prof. Johnson Tuper and Prof. Leonard Michael, but his late may his soul rest in perfect peace.

Regarding the required International passport copy of you and your wife, please it is necessary that you send it even though you don't have International passport, then i suggest you send copies of you and your wife identification card, such as working id card or driver license with the required evacuation fee , to enable us attach it in the listed file of 100 people before the meeting point at 12pm on the 30th June at Key West Country Club in Florida, USA.

The need of the list of the chemicals that you suggest is urgent so that i will compare with the ones that we have and believe me the chemicals we purchase are very good and powerful for the sub. Yes am very careful here in West Africa, despite they are finding it so difficult to afford the required evacuation fee.

Your email response will be highly needed.

Solutions, Godspeed, and I wish you luck.

Professor Walter Bishop
Fringe Division
Massive Dynamic

Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 2:14 pm

Well from my end, I've told him that I'm in Miami on business but I'm travelling back to Africa today, which puts me out of the loop for a couple of days Very Happy

poor Benjamin's going to have to work off of his own back for a bit. Hopefully you can get some fun out of him.

Who knows, perhaps Gomer might jut run into a bit of trouble with the authorities on the way back and have to contact Benjamin for some help in some way. Anybody want to have some authority fun with this guy? Laughing

Paranoia guaranteed.

Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 12:09 am

Woohoo, I got a discount!

My Character wrote:

oh god! Oh god it just hit me THE WORLD IS ENDING!! OH FUCK!! Im so scared right now! Oh god! OH SHIT!! FUCK!!!

Look man I dunno if i can afford five grand. i got thirty six bucks atm, an i get 162.34 each week from welfar, but twenty dolars of that has to go to food, and sixty to weed. oh god i need a discount man, I cant die!! PLEASE! YOU HAVE TO LET ME ON FOR CHEAPER!!

and will there be drugs on the sub? i dont hav enough weed right now to last me six months, i go a bit fuckin weird when i aint got my weed. can i bring my dealer stinky along. He'l be able to give good deals for evryone, itll be a nice high jurney!

pls reply quickly! I NEED TO GET ON THIS SUB!

Lad wrote:

Hello Otto Mann,
Listen Mr, if you are serious and ready for saving your life make the required payment of the evacuation. Reading very well my previous letters to you their you see that i stated The cost of the submarine, food, clothing, medical equipment and other essentials has cost me $500,000.and what i need from you only is the evacuation fee of $5,000 only.

If you are ready for the evacuation and to save your life then get back to me so that i will stated to you how you will make the payment direct to me because right now am in West Africa, for the same evacuation project due to Africa, need it too. The choice is yours to choose and noting like weed or what ever you called it over there and we don't need any drugs from you because there will be a medical equipment in the sub.

My Character wrote:

look man, no need for the attitude, im just scared is all. this whole thing is realy freakin me out! im gonna see wat i can do about getting that 5000 dollars, but you realy shoud give me a discount bro.

Lad wrote:

Hello Otto Mann,
I acknowledge the receipt of your email. In this case i will only help you in discount of $1,000 and you will send direct to me the sum of $4,000. Note that the evacuation fee of $5,000 is a fixed fee but due to your willingness and request that is why i decide to reduct the sum of $1,000 for you.

Still, even with that, I worry Otto will have to go to some pretty extreme lengths to come up with the full amount...

Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 2:18 am

^^

Post apocalyptic world will need stoners too. Otherwise the drug dealers will be out of work.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 20 May 2011 Posts: 21

He didn't like me sending two blank ID's...

Quote:

Dear Dr.Loafa Bred,
I read from your letter today, yes the working is going fine as we planned it. I was quiet silent on you due to i thought that you are not serious in this plan due to you send me an empty identification file of you and your wife.

Anyway, keep me inform via email immediately you make the payment.

I will be looking forward to read from your reply as soon as possible.

God speed. We will survive.

Professor Walter Bishop
Fringe Division
Massive Dynamic

Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 12:50 am

Got the lad's number, which I will mask. Tried to call him but I think he's sleeping and has his phone turned off:

^^I masked.

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