Ancient Nigerian Proverb?

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Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 6:24 pm

I received this gem from my hitlad.

Quote:

You are a good player, just keep it on, but tell me, how does the se@ h@wk find the tiny fish in a big great wild oc3an, if you don't know, I will tell you when I get you, Good d@y

Sounds ominous but I feel much more enlightened after reading this email.

EDIT: Leeted to protect against Google search

Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 6:52 pm

Sounds like he got his script from a chinese fortune cookie.

Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 8:29 pm

you reply could be something like this: "a wise man once said: FUCK OFF!"

Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 9:45 pm

You could check his IP address, then send him a really creepy e-mail mentioning a number of prominent buildings and other features in the surrounding area.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 11:36 pm

Is that a threat? HA! Tell him this:

Quote:

· Oke oshimmiri anokataghi rie onye obula nke o na-ahughi ukwu ya anya.
[The ocean never swallows a person with whose leg it does not come in contact. ]

Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 11:47 pm

Jim Morrison wrote:

you reply could be something like this: "a wise man once said: FUCK OFF!"

This is an approach I like to take.

After really pissing a lad off (I think I insulted him) he wrote and demanded an apology or bad things would happen to me.

My reply was 'Having considered the contents of your previous email I must tell you most humbly TO GO FUCK YOURSELF.'

He never wrote back. I miss him.

Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 11:52 pm

there's loads of good igbo curses about. And there's always pidgin. ie, go dey, fit ur piken go for peppa soup (get lost, go and eat your children) ... i could go on..

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 12:55 am

A screen shot of the map from iptracker online showing his general location and a message saying:

Quote:

I don't know about the fuckin sea hawk but I'm pretty close to finding your dumb smal boi ass.

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 12:59 am

give him my regards, let him know I have a tyre for his neck.

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 1:34 am

Chicken hawks and little fish in the big ocean? What is this guy... an assassin or an animal activist? You're trying to avoid being rubbed out, and here he is going on about marine life. The nerve!

You could (just a thought) reply that you're not afraid of chicken hawks, so he'll have to use more firepower than that if he wants to put you in the ground. If anybody threatened me with a bird, I don't think I'd be too intimidated.

I haven't had a hitlad yet, but I'm hopeful. From what I've read, they're more fun than a bottle of painkillers and a flamethrower. I've had a few not-so-veiled threats from lads, but none of them have ever offered to kill me unless I pay them.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2003 Posts: 4747

Whoa I would tell him not to blow a seal. It could be considered animal abuse.

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 6:23 am

Sounds as if this lad's been studying under that great thinker and philosopher Eric Cantona. When asked at a press conference, why he Kung Fu kicked a supporter who was abusing him he gave this memorable reply: Seagulls Wink

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 3:48 pm

Feel free to use these on him:

Quote:

The dance of a millipede does not impress he who has seen the dance of a snake.

Quote:

It is in the house of a coward that people gather and point to the tomb of yesterday’s warrior.

Quote:

You cannot stop a child from growing big teeth; however he should have lips equally big enough to cover them.

Quote:

He who digs too deep for a fish, may come out with a snake

Quote:

If a snake fails to show its venom, little children will use it in tying firewood.

Quote:

The fish does not know how hot the water in the pot is until it falls inside the pot.

Quote:

The goat cannot call the lion to an account.

Quote:

A mad fowl has not seen an intoxicated wolf.

And one of my favourites:

Quote:

When a tse-tse fly perches on your balls, it takes great skill not force to kill it.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 26 Aug 2006 Posts: 577

^^^^
Truly demented.

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 8:31 pm

Their minds are all cooked. Too much palm wine oh.

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 10:06 pm

@ Slightlyoutofit: priceless! where did you find those?

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 10:17 pm

^^Fortune cookies.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 12:12 am

Here is some more Igbo idioms. Recite these in Igbo to a lad on the phone, and they usually get scared, and hang up the phone. Laughing

http://www.kwenu.com/igbo/idioms/frame.htm

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 4:48 am

A ma ka mmiri si were baa n'opi ugboguru?
How do they get the water in the watermelon?
I don't know, how do they get the water in the watermelon?
They plant them in the spring! Laughing

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