Rapture (get those fee transfers completed by the 21st)

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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:36 am

@lakeside: Looks like you win! I can't get to their site.

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 3:42 pm

It feels like centuries since the apocalypse started, but it has in reality on ly been some hours.

The first battles were the most trying, but I had to establish my reign as indisputable. Even now, it seems like days ago when my skull pile was but the lonely head of Mr.Johnson from next door...now it casts a foreboding shadow at the start of my kingdom.

It's not always easy being supreme ruler of all I survey, but the virgins throwing themselves at me do help to ease the burden weighing on my shoulders.

To all who have yet to experience the end, I can offer but two small bits of wisdom, when offering your tithe in wanting to join my kingdom please make sure the women are an even mix between buxom and petite, and by the slim chance you dare to challenge me make sure to shave first the slaves have been complaining that facial hair screws up the buffers when they polish the skulls for me.

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 3:53 pm

Fakebook lad wrote:

Good News To All Of You Expecting Rapture To Take Place Today... Prof Jega Has Postponed It!!! Don't Be Panic Any more. Good Morning To You All&Have A wonderful Day!

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 4:00 pm

^^^^^^^
It's a trap. Obviously he's a slaver wanting to capture people unaware. Since I am outright ruler slavers are illegal in my realm, I have killed many.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

So, hubby was in contemplative mood this morning.
"May be our last day on earth"
"Should be spent doing something we really really enjoy"
I nodded
" It's been a while but I've still got all the gear in the cupboard" says he.
I really perked up at that, gave him an eager smile and said " Go ahead dear" and wandered of to the bedroom

Came out later

To find out he's gone fishing

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 5:49 pm

I've written to the rapture Pet Insurance folk.

Quote:

Are you planning on refunding the simple folk who actually paid you?
Or are you just heartless grifters?
I want to know.

I'll keep the forum updated on any response.
Back to your regularly scheduled Zubrowka consumption.

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 5:52 pm

Bit of an anti-climax really. Two people standing at the bus stop across the road half an hour ago are no longer there, but that's all.

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 5:59 pm

^^^

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 6:08 pm

Nanny Ogg wrote:

" It's been a while but I've still got all the gear in the cupboard" says he.

My Mentor wants to know what sort of gear your husband didn't take out from the cupboard. Confused

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 6:43 pm

here's the reply I received

Quote:

X,
Our clients contracted for a ten year term.
We do not endorse the concept of rapture, that it would never happen, as is made plain on our site. Thus, why would we refund money?
We offer peace of mind to those rapture believers who care about their pets. We have every intent and the ability to fulfill our contract if we end up being wrong. How this is a scam is beyond me. But it makes no difference what you think.

This hostility of yours would best be directed at the clergy who promote and endorse the doctrine of eschatology that begat such delusional belief to begin with. It runs rampant among 40 million Americans.

So, now you "know."

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled Zubrowka consumption.
edited- not quite yet.
My reply was

Quote:

Thank you very much for your explanation.
So the answer is- no.
Yours,
X

and in return I received

Quote:

You're welcome, and no. ..my answer is "emphatically NO."
Regards,

*** BANNED *** Joined: 18 Jul 2004 Posts: 2049

Mr Tambourine Man wrote:

Bit of an anti-climax really. Two people standing at the bus stop across the road half an hour ago are no longer there, but that's all.

I am reminded of that eschatological genius Professor Mark Knopfler, who wrote "Two men standing on a corner say they're Jesus - one of them must be wrong".

3 hours to go here. Shocked

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

Still here, I better not be taken away before next week as tonight's Dr Who was a 2 parter

@ Nora he's left his Sou' Wester

true story, years ago we were painting the ceiling , he donned the sou' wester to keep the paint off. Our elderly neighbour came to the door, he answered and she says Oh sorry are you just going to bed?
Shocked

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 7:39 pm

^^^
Let's hope he at least catches a Fish !! Laughing

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 7:56 pm

So, Nanny, did you want to paint your bedroom but your husband wanted to go fishing instead? (I'm asking this only because of my Mentor. He also likes to go fishing every now and then.)

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 11:18 pm

Can you imagine how many new formats would be floating around if the rapture had struck?

Quote:

Hello, I find your name while searching for reliable business partner in your country. Am Joy Faith by name,am good girl, 23, single, never marry. I will like to get to know you better, here is about myself. Am orphan, my whole family died in 2011 JUDGEMENT DAY DISASTER. Before he die my father leave behind for me a trunk box containing $44,000,000 (44 MILLION US DOLLAR ONLY) and I wish to find reliable partner to invest in your country. Please I need your help, am not allowed passport, money, all of these things is illegal in my country run by SCOURGE WORLD EATER.

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 11:39 pm

Almost 7:40PM here and so far nothing. I'm starting to see a pattern here.

These armageddon things are a lot like those endless Batman movies. Good advertising, but kind of average and non-eventful once they happen.

Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 1:34 am

http://cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/05/21/6690884-left-behind-by-humorgeddon

Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 3:35 am

@Gimli: I just got to the site's homepage but it took me four tries.

Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 8:36 am

I'm a bit pissed.

Yesterday, knowing that I was about to fuck off up to Heaven (obviously I'd have been one of the Chosen Ones), I decided to do a bit of driving around town and "rapture" a few people myself.
Today, I find myself up on 4 charges of vehicular manslaughter.

Still. I guess it's not the end of the world

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

^^

It's a very telling thing that you've been bailed already and can brag to us about it.

They must have been overloaded with rapture-related indulgences. Wink

Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 9:46 am

It was the end, but we as baiters stayed behind. That can mean two things. We stayed behind because we have the holy task of baiting the crap out of the lads, or there isn't an internet connection in heaven.

Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 9:48 am

What, no rapture...this time either. What have the world come to when you can't trust the religious fanatics anymore. Well not the end obviously but you get the idea.

And with good behavior in prison you might get a new chance to do it again in 2012 SOOI.

Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 10:01 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9KlMWzKj4s&feature=player_embedded

Anyone been around to any Rapture forums?
Just asking. Wink

Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 1:36 pm

psychicbait wrote:

Anyone been around to any Rapture forums?

They must be a laugh a minute. Wink

All that happened here was a few flower pots were knocked over and they left some cat poo in my garden. All done in a fit of pique most likely. I was out when they called to take me, so that's another end of days bullet I've dodged. Wonder what they have in store for the next one in 2012? Very Happy

Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 4:43 pm

You see! What did I tell you all? Take that for not listening to me. The next person to claim the world will end, they will be "dealt with" in a very "special way". Whether it's a $1,500 fine, 2 days in Jail, or getting iced. Laughing

Rapture and 2012 are just a bunch of lies. Oh look the world is still spinning it's anti-clockwise way, life goes on.....

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