He just broke my heart - stupid me - new to this

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 May 2011 Posts: 13

Hi there.

I am danish met this ”guy” in a danish dating site. He told me, he was American soldier in Afghanistan been there for 8 month now on a peace mission, senior sergeant major, 52 years old – he gave me his rank number too - seems SO handsome, nice and sweet, sending me a lot of very sweet and romantic emails. We even saw each other on video webcam via messenger – and it seems like, he WAS him on the picture. Soon I was in all his sweet words and believed him when he said he loved me.. thinking of me all the time misses me when we were not chatting and so… I just believed him, and felt I was really in love with this guy. We exchange photos so I have a lot of photos of him – both in the Afghanistan, with the other soldiers and alone – and from his home in Raleigh, Carolina. We have been chatting about 1 hour every day and every day there was this wonderful email about me being the sunshine of his life, he had never met a woman like me, we were soulmates, he even asked if I want to get married again, because he wants me. I was his angel, his love. He called me his future wife. I felt so happy. From the beginning he said he would be leaving in a few weeks time and then he would come to Denmark. Last year – he told me – he had been in Copenhagen looking for houses because he wants to start a new life. He got divorced 5 years ago and lost his 16 year old son the same year in a car accident…
One day when we said there chatting he just claimed: OMG.. I asked him what was wrong and he said he just got a message from this diplomatic guy who did take care of his very personal belongings - this guy had taken this “package” out of Afghanistan and should take it safely to the USA via Asia or Africa. This guy sent him this “message” via Radio message, my guy should call him immediately - My guy was very very worried and begged me to call this diplomatic guy because he could not call international from there. He gave me a number and I called - this other guy said that there was problems with the diplomatic stamps –My guy had not renewed them so the custum – in - Ghana -where he was standing needed 6200 dollars for that. I wrote back to my guy and he again said: OMG…. Can you help me sweetie, my darling. I will pay you back with interests –you know I love you so much and I have so many plans for you and I when I come to Denmark but right now I just desperately need you help my love. I have a lot of money and very important documents in that package. I was chocked and said no, I did not have so much money and I got suspicious.. have heard so much of this –he begged me for several times and even though I was in tears and felt like my heart was broken I said no. He logged of messenger with a lot of crying smileys… Crying or Very sad

After that I did not expect to hear from him anymore – my heart was broken and I just could not believe all that his words were not true. I sent him an email where I told him what I meant about him – I was really nasty I can tell you that Evil or Very Mad

– suddenly after one week he came back and wrote that he could not understand why I wrote all those bad words about him. After he left me a week earlier he was involved in a car accident and I should be happy he was still alive…

Since that we have still been writing and chatting and it is now nearly 2 month since he wrote to me the first time – he is still claiming his love for me , and that he would never lie to me and never had, he is longing for me , can’t wait to see me, kiss me and holding me in his arms – in the beginning I started to believe him again – I believed that the feelings he had for me was at least true – Every time now when he talked about this package who is still at Ghana International airport, custums, then I keep him going telling him that I would try to ask my bank, and when they said no, I said I have this friend who maybe want so help me – so he is still there - in my mailbox and on messenger.

I have tried to search for the name on Google, have even tried on Yellow pages in the States but there is no person with that name. I still have the phone number to the guy I was calling –checked it out, and it was from Ghana – a cell phone number –I still have a lot of pictures too – maybe someone can tell me where I can try to search for information ? Or can any of you guys help me. I am really new to this and wished it had never happened. I really felt I was in love with this guy. His face his eyes – it all seems so sincere, so nice , so trustful looking at… And even though I will never send him money – A little part of him wants to believe that al least his feelings for me were/are true – even though I know it is only me who is stupid here – and very sensitive unfortunately Sad

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 10:09 am

I'm very sorry to hear that you were taken in by a scammer. May I recommend that you post this at www.scamwarners.com it's this site's sister site and is probably better equipped to help you. The people there would be more than happy to give you any advice that you need, and by posting your story there you might be able to prevent others from being scammed.

I would also recommend that you stop all communication with him. Delete him from messenger and filter his e-mails to go directly to trash (or even change your e-mail address if it's feasible). The scammer will continue to contact you to convince you that he is real, but if you no longer receive his e-mails he won't be able to do that.

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 11:02 am

He seems very familiar! What is his "name"?

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 May 2011 Posts: 13

His "name" is Johan Caswell -sergeant major in the US army , nato rank code OR-9

his first email was : [email protected]

Then he got a new one: [email protected]

I am not really sure that this guy in the picture is the guy I am writing with..

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 11:27 am

What dating place?

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 May 2011 Posts: 13

A danish dating site

www.dating.dk..

His excuse of using this site was because he was planing to settle down in Denmark - he said....

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 11:50 am

Can I pick him? I love soldiers! Twisted Evil

Not quite a Newb Joined: 30 Apr 2011 Posts: 21

futurewife1958 wrote:

Hi there.

I am danish met this ”guy” in a danish dating site. He told me, he was American soldier in Afghanistan been there for 8 month now on a peace mission, senior sergeant major, 52 years old – he gave me his rank number too - seems SO handsome, nice and sweet, sending me a lot of very sweet and romantic emails. We even saw each other on video webcam via messenger – and it seems like, he WAS him on the picture. Soon I was in all his sweet words and believed him when he said he loved me.. thinking of me all the time misses me when we were not chatting and so… I just believed him, and felt I was really in love with this guy. We exchange photos so I have a lot of photos of him – both in the Afghanistan, with the other soldiers and alone – and from his home in Raleigh, Carolina. We have been chatting about 1 hour every day and every day there was this wonderful email about me being the sunshine of his life, he had never met a woman like me, we were soulmates, he even asked if I want to get married again, because he wants me. I was his angel, his love. He called me his future wife. I felt so happy. From the beginning he said he would be leaving in a few weeks time and then he would come to Denmark. Last year – he told me – he had been in Copenhagen looking for houses because he wants to start a new life. He got divorced 5 years ago and lost his 16 year old son the same year in a car accident…
One day when we said there chatting he just claimed: OMG.. I asked him what was wrong and he said he just got a message from this diplomatic guy who did take care of his very personal belongings - this guy had taken this “package” out of Afghanistan and should take it safely to the USA via Asia or Africa. This guy sent him this “message” via Radio message, my guy should call him immediately - My guy was very very worried and begged me to call this diplomatic guy because he could not call international from there. He gave me a number and I called - this other guy said that there was problems with the diplomatic stamps –My guy had not renewed them so the custum – in - Ghana -where he was standing needed 6200 dollars for that. I wrote back to my guy and he again said: OMG…. Can you help me sweetie, my darling. I will pay you back with interests –you know I love you so much and I have so many plans for you and I when I come to Denmark but right now I just desperately need you help my love. I have a lot of money and very important documents in that package. I was chocked and said no, I did not have so much money and I got suspicious.. have heard so much of this –he begged me for several times and even though I was in tears and felt like my heart was broken I said no. He logged of messenger with a lot of crying smileys… Crying or Very sad

After that I did not expect to hear from him anymore – my heart was broken and I just could not believe all that his words were not true. I sent him an email where I told him what I meant about him – I was really nasty I can tell you that Evil or Very Mad

– suddenly after one week he came back and wrote that he could not understand why I wrote all those bad words about him. After he left me a week earlier he was involved in a car accident and I should be happy he was still alive…

Since that we have still been writing and chatting and it is now nearly 2 month since he wrote to me the first time – he is still claiming his love for me , and that he would never lie to me and never had, he is longing for me , can’t wait to see me, kiss me and holding me in his arms – in the beginning I started to believe him again – I believed that the feelings he had for me was at least true – Every time now when he talked about this package who is still at Ghana International airport, custums, then I keep him going telling him that I would try to ask my bank, and when they said no, I said I have this friend who maybe want so help me – so he is still there - in my mailbox and on messenger.

I have tried to search for the name on Google, have even tried on Yellow pages in the States but there is no person with that name. I still have the phone number to the guy I was calling –checked it out, and it was from Ghana – a cell phone number –I still have a lot of pictures too – maybe someone can tell me where I can try to search for information ? Or can any of you guys help me. I am really new to this and wished it had never happened. I really felt I was in love with this guy. His face his eyes – it all seems so sincere, so nice , so trustful looking at… And even though I will never send him money – A little part of him wants to believe that al least his feelings for me were/are true – even though I know it is only me who is stupid here – and very sensitive unfortunately Sad

This is very brave of you to come here to share this. There must be a raft of emotions going on inside you.

By talking about it you will help others and also start the procces of your own recovery.
If I was to offer any advice it would be to (once you have spread the details) to remove every trace oh "HIM" from your computer.
Also make an account over at [url]Scamwarners.com[/url] and share the story there. You will get support over there.

The important thing to remeber here you are not alone, many many people fall for this dreadfull scam.
K.I

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 3:39 pm

Dear futurewife,
in case you are still following this thread: Beware of follow-up scams: Once your email address is known in scammer circles, they may try to scam you from a new angle - lotto scam, charity scam ... if you get suspicious mails in the future, please post them at ScamWarners for analysis.
In the meantime I wish you some good friends who can help you to recover, I know it won't be easy.

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 5:38 pm

Futurewife1958: I'm going to bait him if you don't mind.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 May 2011 Posts: 13

Thanks to all of you for your reply and sweet words - even though I am still hurt a bit I have tried the last week to bait him - just to see how far he would go... I have told him I would try to figure out something but that I can not know for sure... He asked me once to ask my bank if I could borrow some money for him - He asked me to beg them if they said no... because he did all that for me and for our future together -yeaaah -right!!

He proclaimed as always how much he loves me, that I am the best that ever happened to him, we will be together forever, and "of course" he will marry me so I can be the his future wife. Mrs. Caswell. He still continue saying that he had never lied to me and never will Rolling Eyes

I guess that somewhere in the States there is sitting this very nice guy on the photo, not knowing that his photos has been used for this fraud .. I wish I could find this guy and tell him, but impossible I know... Where the hell did "my man" get the pictures from?? I have 6 very nice pics -both from outside his home and his military.. Crying or Very sad

....

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 9:35 pm

^^^Please don't bait him, certainly not with your real life information. Honestly the best thing to do would be to drop him entirely, not communicate with him at all anymore. If you want him to suffer, there are many experienced baiters on here who will be happy to bait him for you. And if you want to get into baiting, then sign up for some anonymous e-mail accounts, read the stickies here, and sign up for a mentor and have fun!

Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 11:48 pm

Hi futurewife1958!
I'm really sorry that you had this hurtful experience. I think that you would find this post from Dotti, over at our sister site, really helpful...

http://www.scamwarners.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=18484

Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 1:49 am

@ Futurewife1958.

Welcome to Eater, though I am sorry it is under these circumstances. I've said it before and I'll say it again, these guys are career criminals and the fact that they play on the emotions of the vulnerable makes my blood boil.

That said, I agree with the others, please drop this lad immediately. since you have been scammed by this lad, you will undoubtedly get more emails from both him and other scammers.

Please don't feel bad, I've had my fair share of these assholes on the various dating sites I'm in RL. I'd have been in the position you are in also if I actually had any money to send. The one advantage of not having a job I guess.

I might bait him as well if that's okay with you. Have a read of my threads, I've been told I'm pretty good at it!

Chrys

Master Baiter Joined: 26 Mar 2011 Posts: 128

The temptation is very high to bait him back as a victim, I know that. Just don't do it. The reality about seeings things as they are is so hard- but then you can recover.

If other baiters are taking him- they will "beat him up" for hurting you. And this is a nice thought...

Its hard to believe, but this guys dont care a tiny bit about others, they dont mind to ruin people, to hurt people and so on.
May they burn in hell... Dancing Banana

Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 5:11 am

I think there's a thread about how far they're willing to go before they say, "No don't do it". A few people wrote back claiming they could only get money from their dirty uncle. I can't remember the name, but they didn't seem to bat an eyelid Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 5:20 am

^^^I remember the thread you're thinking of (or at least one that is very similar) and somewhat inspired by it decided to see if what had happened there would hold true with other lads. I baited a lad as a 14 year old girl and said, after a few delays, that the only way I could get money was if I went over to Mr Jones' house and let him do things to me. At first I got this:

Quote:

Friend don't go to his house because i knew he will like to have sex with you

but after a while when he realized that there was no other way for "me" to get the money I got e-mails like this:

Quote:

As you said if your sure that Mr.Jones will give you the money go get the money from him

Quote:

My friend try ask him to help with some money that you real want to buy your Private use,if he accept that do allow him to touch

At that point I was getting fairly disgusted with the whole thing and dropped him, but it goes to show that these people will go to any lengths to get money from people.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 29 Apr 2011 Posts: 44

Just my $.02, most REAL military personnel will use a real email address from the military

I.E. john.smith.army.mil or something like that

.mil is the US Military email extension

Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 5:53 am

Futurewife1958: Hmm... I can't seem to find his profile on that site. Maybe he took it down or do you have to pay to find him. Otherwise, I looked through Google and all that pops up is this forum so it is going to be hard to establish contact with him without it looking suspicious since he is one of the smarter ones, that one cannot simply just send an email to. Do you have a link to his profile on that site to post here?

Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 2:13 pm

Sorry to hear than you got so terribly hurt. Best not to beat yourself up about it. Unfortunately these animals feel nothing for anyone and will say anything to get the payoff. They have no conscience and lose no sleep over what they do. They are like hyenas who look for the weakest in the herd and then target them.
Loneliness made you vulnerable, but give yourself a big gold star as you were wise enough to follow your common sense and common caution. I don't think there is one baiter on the forum that will not want to take a bit of revenge for your part. Even if you only stop here for a while, know that there are lots of sympathetic friends.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 May 2011 Posts: 13

Thanks a lot for all your sympatic words here - I do appreciate it so much. Unfortunately I don't have a link to his profile, because he took it down, just 2 days after we met there. The only thing I have is two emails... the first one was in use in a couple of weeks -then suddenly "it did not "work out", so he made a new one... He is clever, I know that, I myself have search for Johan Caswell, but there is no profile on any site - so I guess it is a new name for him - maybe I should try and ask him, if he had any profiles on Facebook or something like that - but no link to any dating site in that name -If I find something I will let you know and then please DO baite him.... Right now I have said to him, that the bank did said yes to give me a loan - he will get the "answer" on friday... Then I will try to figure out, what to answer him....

Thanks again to all of you. It gives me comfort to be here - My friends and family think I am so stupid falling in love with this guy online - In fact they say that you just can't fall in love with a guy you have never met - I would had say so myself earlier - but it happened just like that.....

Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 7:31 pm

futurewife

People fall in love online all the time. I think because love is about what someone means to you. There are genuine people out there who are lonely else dating sites would not be so popular. Unfortunately there are predators who know this and can "talk the talk". You are not at fault here, but are a victim. As I said, at least you were wise enough to wake up. If he is as bright as you say then he has had practice at this while you were an innocent. Not fair odds. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 8:09 pm

Hello again, futurewife.
Don't force yourself to continue with this criminal just to get a working address for the baiters. I imagine that it might mean delaying your healing process. Better drop him, disappear from his life and leave him wondering what he did wrong.
And a thwarted and angry scammer is able to become nasty. I don't mean to frighten you, but some of them harass their victims when confronted.
Sorry about your arrogant friends - if you have read the accounts of victims over at ScamWarners you will realise that it can happen to anyone who is not familiar with this type of scam. How could you know? It's easy to criticise in hindsight.

Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 8:30 pm

Hi futurewife,

You wrote:

A little part of him wants to believe that al least his feelings for me were/are true – even though I know it is only me who is stupid here – and very sensitive unfortunately

I got into baiting after a real-life experience with a romance scammer ... and, you know what: at one time he sent me the most beautiful (and appropriate to me) love song in the world. Damn it, I would have loved someone to think of me that way!

We're human. That's all. Sensitvity is good. A genuine man will appreciate that about you.

You wrote:

My friends and family think I am so stupid falling in love with this guy online - In fact they say that you just can't fall in love with a guy you have never met - I would had say so myself earlier - but it happened just like that.....

Of course it can happen that way. If this man had been really like that, of course you would have loved him.

The truth is, though, that he was lying. The same way that my scammer was lying. Keep hold of your dream of the 'ideal person'. While knowing that this man was just a storybook character. Storybook men can be so wonderful. Like film stars! But it isn't real.

It's crap. Healing may take a long time. But healing will happen.

Oh: and Jeanette is correct - do please stop all contact with the lad. Block him for your email account if possible. He isn't really nice. He is a criminal. And you don't want to continue communication with a criminal. That is not a sensible thing to do.

here · Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 10:59 pm

^^^^^
everything above is true & top advice

some of us are baiting another low life who got some $$ out of a baiter's relative, been going a long time and he WILL suffer at our hands - but he has NO real details (of course he thinks he has Wink

)

drop him, BUT if you get a "new" email from him and / or he comes back them PM one of us and we will pass him around

the sickening lad mentioned above (young girl / uncle) sickened a very experienced baiter on here (Gimli you know who!) and the lad was pounded to a pulp several times over

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