My First African JuJu Curse

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Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 2:52 pm

The first guy to come up with the idea of the dolla chop is an absolute legend. It never fails to produce fantastic results. Ever. (Except where the lads are too retarded to figure out what just happened Laughing

)

Obviously brackets is my addition.

Chopped Lad wrote:

dear Eddy Ravelo
How are you doing over there? jazakamara mo n satara kabara lasara . mi ka sara .you have already read this message , but this is a message of your death. i will show you african juju. i swear to God i dnt wanna do any thing before but now, you have really instruted me to do something. you have just some weeks to spend on heart. i will let you know they dnt fuck with kenya people... ask about jata death sender. you stole a job that does not belongs to you, that means , you are going soon.. if you have any body that can help you to revert ur death go a head, both of you will die together. until u seek for apology from me and you make a sacrifice for your death. ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah[stayin' alive, stayin' alive] dead mannnn ... thats the end of your life. next time you dnt steal what dos not belongs to you
prince salam of kenya......................

So if you guys don't hear from me any more you'll know where I went.

Here's my reply, by the way. I like writing in decent English, with some lad/9ja slang dropped in so they know I'm down with the game.

I wrote:

Sorry little boy, I'm too old to have imaginary friends.

While you homosex pretending to be girl on the internet to make money[refugee scammer], I do my jobs properly.

Don't steal what doesn't belong to me? You are sounding a maga hahaha. You know we are both in the business of taking what isn't ours. The difference is I am good at it. You are a fucking child.

Your mama's toto is holding my child. [cause i'm immature like that]

I love casual baiting. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 5:57 pm

lmao, love the reply Cool

Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 6:54 pm

somehow all chops include " your mama's toto" in one of the emails Laughing

Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 7:10 pm

Definitely a toto, fairly often the devil and usually a number of barnyard animals.

Great rant, he is obviously horribly vexed, well done.

Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 10:22 pm

@Arthur, a custom tag if ever I saw one:

Quote:

jata death sender

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2003 Posts: 4747

Congrats!

instruted ? Uh does the curse work for people who can’t spell.

Instead of a death spell he could have cast a love spell on a goat! A few misspelled words and…

Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 12:53 am

I like this guy. He replies quickly:

Quote:

this is the harbalist walking on your matter..attached his pics .i wont talk but lets c who will still apologise.. your name is already in the shrine. with an harbalist right here in kenya. i will show you that , what you dnt start you dnt talk about it. we deal with a kind of you .. i have promised my harbalist a lot of money,i make sacrefice every 3months, but right now he his angry. this will be your last job on heart, when you come back to heart you wont take what you dnt have... ah ah ah ah

Attached was this

My reply

Quote:

Maybe you are upset because your boyfriend took your handbag.

And I see you are still very stupid. Sarah doesn't get any emails from your characters, but you keep sending them. How cute. [trying to confuse him more by making him add more characters hehe]

It's a lucky thing you managed to find a herbalist who lets you pay in sex too, no wonder he's mad.

Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 4:41 pm

Before you completley piss these guys off would you do me a big favor and ask if the harbalist has any concoctions for irritable bowel syndrome, low testosterone and demon possession. Thanks a bunch.

Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 3:33 pm

Quote:

this is the harbalist walking on your matter

I always thought a "harbal" was something a lolcat coughed up Smile

And "Jata Death Sender" sounds like it should be some sort of alien spaceship out of Star Wars

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 7:22 pm

He's just a spoil sport. Didn't he ever hear these African Proverbs?

· Akpataghi aku na-akpata ntukwuba onu.
[Destitution breeds disdain.]

· Onye riri osisi oji kpaa ya nku ka o nwere ike: anaghi ari enu oke oji kwa daa.
[While on top of iroko tree, gather all the firewood you can: it is not every day that one scales the great iroko.] Laughing

Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 8:36 pm

Haha nothing like a good juju curse. Great chop!

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