Where have all the hit lads gone?

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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 1:28 pm

Finally got one after almost two year dearth. I love the hit lads so if you get any extra please send them my way. Eventually I'm going to find out what bastard is ordering hits on me but till then its a long and winding road to the pay-off which usually ends up several weeks later at a dead end after an offer for the lad and his mother to attend a negotiating session for my life at a Lion's Club all you can eat pancake breakfast, my treat of course featuring flapjacks, silver dollar pancakes, sour dough pancakes and Belgian waffles along with 11 different toppings, my favorite being natural Vermont maple syrup, Grade A light amber which seems to offend the lad when I mention wanting to spread some on his mother's belly and lick it off before I plunder the depths of her womb with my steely manflesh.....I love slapping and offending. Love accepting the role of daddy and then pulling the rug right out from under the little bastard when he is so full of hope and trust.

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 3:27 pm

Nice post, JJJ. Very Happy

I think I need a pancake. Now.

The hitlads are a rare species indeed but at least we can trust they aren't threatening innocent members of public either.

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 3:38 pm

I love hitlads also,but haven't seen one in quite some time.Doesn't seem as common as it used to be.I suspect the lads have discovered as a script it doesn't work very well,and all they succeed in is getting the living hell baited out of them.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I just saw one posted in the Surplus section a few minutes ago.

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1696298#1696298

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:09 am

Okay, going to surplus now. Forwarded this one to another email I'm using to lad bash and am going to play scared for a while and cooperate although being a doctor of theology and pastoring a large off denomination church, I certainly am not going to appreciate him using the word fuck and my first goal will be to get an apology from him. Okay now bow your heads.....church is in session!

From:"jack " <[email protected]> [Add]
To:"Doctor xxxxxx xxxx" <[email protected]> [Add]
Date:Wed, 27 Apr 2011 3:42 PM (2 hours 22 mins ago)
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Well you are welcome, just follow my instruction as I have decided to help you and do not fuck with me, I want to assure you that you will see the person that want you death if you will do anything that I will ask you to do, just get back to me and I will tell you what to do. Do not let anybody know that I am contacting you cos' if you do, your enemy may know and if that happen you are dead, get back to me if you will do my says
REGARD JACK NODELAY.

On Thu, 28 Apr 2011 03:41:02 , "Doctor xxxxxx ddxx" <[email protected]> wrote

Dear Sir

I am in earnest prayer and fasting that you will find me innocent and spare my life. I am so afraid that I do not know what to do. What must I do to avoid this fate?

Thank you for listening and for giving me time to prove my innocence.
--
Doctor xxxxxx xxxx
[email protected]

On Wed, 27 Apr 2011 15:37 +0000, "jack " <[email protected]> wrote:
Good day
why do you like hurting people, why have you been always like to cheat, I am doing my investigation on and I promise you that I will come for you after my investigation just wait there, because there is no way for you to escape even if you leave your work, just pray that all the allegations laid against you are not true, that is the only time I can spare your life, because I am a professional and I don't always kill innocent people, Do not leave your work yet because if you are not guilty of this offense I will not have your life but that is only if you will follow my instructions, try and get back to me and always remember that I have my boys watching you and I do not have much time on this issue any more,
REGARD JACK NODELAY

--
http://www.fastmail.fm - Faster than the air-speed velocity of an
unladen european swallow

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:15 am

The guy in surplus is the same asshole I'm already working. Onward and upward....back to the salt mines.

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:17 am

Oh happy day love me a hitlad.

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:54 am

I hope this doesn't scare him off, I'd like to take him a twist or turn before the good reverend drops the "F" bomb on the lad himself and offers to knock the bottom out of his momma'a woo woo! My response to the lad.....

Dear Jack

May I call you Jack or do you prefer Mr. Nodelay? I am ready to cooperate with you fully however I feel it pertinent that I point out that I am a Doctor of Theology and pastor and priest of a large off denomination church here in Wewahitchka (pronounced wewa- hitch- ka and spelled just like it sounds), Florida, USA. I do take umbrage at your direct use of the word "fuck" that you directed at me earlier and as a Holy man and leader of my flock I shall require an apology from you for this. I am sure you will have to agree that it is only fair and and the correct thing to do under the circumstances since you are threatening to murder me and if not out of respect for me and my position in "the" church then out of respect for yourself and your own relationship with the creator. Apart from this and following your directions in not letting anybody know that you are contacting me, I have asked my parishoners to pray for you that you will have mercy upon me, their pastor and spiritual leader and that my life will be spared. Mind you, I did not mention you by name so technically, I have not mentioned to anyone that "you", that is Mr. Jack Nodelay has contacted me and I feel that I am following your directions to the best of my ability. If you have a problem with that then by all means let me know so that I do not make the same mistake twice as I highly respect your position as a professional hit man that by your own admission does not always kill innocent people. I would like to take this opportunity to invite your boys that are watching me to step out of the shadows and attend our Friday services. We are having a guest speaker lecturing us on the evils of homosexual buttocks love and drinking and how one can lead to the other and ways we as keepers of the faith can avoid falling into the trap of having our nether region plundered by uncircumcised manflesh either while drunk or sober. Please know that your boys are welcome, they will not have to put any money into the offering plate and we are expected to share a meal after the service in honor of our guest speaker. I do wish to thank you again and profusely so for giving me this opportunity to defend myself and to let me know that someone wants me dead. I suppose I could have offended some of my church members, especially the men as I do have a very hands on approach to family counseling and do a lot of wife counseling in the privacy of my chambers with the concept that "love heals all", especially the physical kind and myself sporting a rather large Pringle's can size organ cannot help but to nudge the very bottom of the womb and in doing so have caused many a poor lady to re-think if you will, their position and stand as it relates to marriage especially to one not nearly as well endowed as myself. I can fully understand why someone would want me killed and for that I can only hope that you will see things my way and relent in your quest to see my blood spilled. Jack, I will call you Jack in that I feel we are friends and that I have known you now for this entire day, I hope you don't mind me calling you Jack and for reaching out to you Jack and letting you know that I forgive you for this evil deed that thou hast purposed in your heart to do evil unto me and for the planned shedding of innocent blood and to invite you, my new friend if you are ever in Wewahitchka (pronounced wewa- hitch- ka and spelled just like it sounds), Florida, USA to come by and visit our church and you are welcome to bring your wife. I offer my cousel to you and especially to your wife. Well ole friend, the ball is now squarley in your court and I humbly submit myself to your demands and will try my best to comply with such demands as they seem fitting.

Do remain blessed my new friend.
--
Doctor xxxxxx xxxx

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Mar 2011 Posts: 198

Responded to the lad too ... This should be interesting. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

I'm in, hit lads are a silly bunch.

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 5:30 am

I Hope He gets more exciting then this second letter from the Lad...

Quote:

Just wait there and be asking who want to kill you, until you are gone, Well I think you need my help,
that is why I have contacted you but if you think you do not need my help, just stay back and watch hahhahahaha.
REGARD. JACK NODELAY

I may have scared him off with My reply...

Quote:

Of course We can not just wait,
We must know Who, Please tell Us.
Is it Chrissy?
By Neptunes Trident, If it is Chrissy, Then She will know the Wrath of the Clams.
And The Sea will claim Her body to feed the Giant Clams of Pismo with Her flesh.

Regards
J bart

Not much of a Hit Man if He is scared of a Giant Clam, if You ask Me,

I think You guys are maybe keeping him busy now, He didn't write today.

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 8:21 am

^ That's the trouble with baiting hit lads. Everyone jumps in and they get overburdened with work. So many people to whack, so little time.

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 9:59 am

that is the same with the Dodos...

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Mar 2011 Posts: 198

This is what I said

Quote:

Hi Jack,

I am a former mecenary and do not fear death or being attacked. I would go into the list of weapons possessed by me, but it would bore and confuse you. I could also tell you all the ways that I can protect myself and the various steps I've taken to protect myself, but this would bore you too.

You are for certain not monitoring me, as I would know if you were. But just to be sure, I have questioned all the neighbors, set fire to all the trees on my land, set the traps, and have fired flares at regular intervals. I have also called my friend Bubba and told him to be on the alert. I am warning you now, you do not want to force me to call Bubba.

I think you might like to know that I'm currently whistling Echo and the Bunnymen's "Killing Moon". Are you a fan? I find the lyrics very nice.

I'm having second thoughts about this ... How much money do you want to stave off this attack?

He didn't respond, so I said

Quote:

I see my reply has scared you, as you have not responded. Are you scared? You better be. Because I care about you - I'm sure you have a wife and kids to worry about - I will send you some cash to ward off this attack. How does that sound? Name your price, my friend.

Peace and love,
----------------

And he said

Quote:

Fuck you, you are going to die very soon, I will take your life when you will not expect it, I don't need to be nagging with you, you are a fuckin living dead, you will die soon, just wait, stupid

Then I replied

Quote:

Don't use that language with me! Keep clean, or I get mean.

Why don't you want my money? I'm sure I'd be easily able to pay you more than your boss is paying you to kill me. I'm doing this only for your sake, lad. You come at me and stuff will happen. I don't want a crying woman and child somewhere tonight. You tell me where and to whom to send the money. I do Western Union.

Be a man.

I wonder what he'll say next. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 9:12 pm

I was wondering where all the hit lads went to. I will have to send him an email then won'I?

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:59 pm

Good news....he is pulling his boys off and sparing my life...he only wants me to pay $1000 each to the boys. Whew...relief. Now to get those two boys paid off and then the ole rev is going to drop a whole bunch of "F" bombs and pray for Daniel's eternal damnation......quiet now....no one looking around, church is in session.

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live
From:"jack " <[email protected]> [Add]
To:"[email protected]" <[email protected]> [Add]
Date:Thu, 28 Apr 2011 10:33 AM (6 hours 14 mins ago)
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Be calm man of God, eat and relax, I am a good man too and I promise not to take your life, even if it's not you that how I will do cos' I don't take innocent's life so do not be afraid, you are a good man like I have said and no body can take your live, just pray for me ok I need your prayer, and for those boys, they can not come to the church because I withdrew them off your back,but I will come it's just that I will not show you my self, but pay those boys $1000 each for two of them and as for me I do not want anything than your prayer ok just pray for me, ok , and I have to show you that person that want take your life so that the person will not be able to hire another don ok Call me Daniel.bye for now.

Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 1:36 am

I just started baiting the hitlad as well...It's really true, baiters are like sharks on a feeding frenzy when a hitlad shows up.

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Mar 2011 Posts: 198

Lad wrote back. Told me he can kill me in under and hour, but he does accept WU.

Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 3:25 pm

You have to Patronize the Lad to get a response,
I send this...

Quote:

We know it's chrissy, she is the only one that would do this to us.
how much is that filthy fish going to pay You? whatever it is,
We will pay twice what she pays, if You kill her instead of us.

Let us know if you want the job.

He sends this...

Quote:

Well, I think you have sounded so good, lets see what you have to offer and I will know what to do, Look I am a professional and I always work for money and I don't like to kill innocent, I can see you anywhere ok, just relax and lets see what you have, but I will give you one instruction, and you have to follow it, do not let this person know that I am contacting you cos' if you do you will die, if this person hear from you that I am contacting and I later know, I will personally kill you for my own interest, your enemy paid me just $20000 to take your life, pay this amount and prove person wrong, I am ready to turn the deal against the person because I know that you are innocents, if you are ready, Use western union with this address, Adam John UK, and get back to me with the (MTCN) 10 digit number, DEAL, and do not fuck with me

Sooo??... You want $40000? or $20000? come on Jack, Pay attention and try to reach higher..

Not much of a Script, and the Lad is not all that great with "Winging it".
It looks like He has to take time and think through each response to everyone.

Keep up the good fun.

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Mar 2011 Posts: 198

He accepted my offer of $40,000. I told him I was worried about being killed on the way to WU, and he told me that I am now being guarded.

Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 10:52 pm

Well now......his use of the "F" word is still an open ended issue....can't send the money until he apologizes and now I've got what I think is a real name that can be found more than likely on FACEBOOK! I'll be looking for @dam John that shows up LAD on there and will start phase two of my multi phase dick with the lad program. And yes, we are praying for him....to Obosh and Ogun for him to rejoice in hell and poverty, but he won't find that out just yet.

Re: live
From:"Doctor xxxxxxxxx" <[email protected]> [Add]
To:"jack" <[email protected]> [Add]
Date:Fri, 29 Apr 2011 3:42 PM (< 1 min ago)
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Dear Daniel

My new friend and brother. We do have the problem of you using "fuck" in your communications with a holy man and the matter is yet unresolved. I and my congregation would be remiss if we allowed this to go without a proper apology and for that we are waiting, albiet humbly and patiently so. Think about it for a moment. First we allow you to say fuck and then someone else says fuck and before long the norms and constants of common decency fall by the wayside and everyone is saying fuck. You will have to apologize for saying fuck and even as a professional hit man you surely know that there are consequences and ramifications for saying fuck to a holy man and leader of this very important church right here in Wewahitchka (pronounced: wewa-hitch-ka, spelled just like it sounds), Florida, USA an off denomination branch of the "Sword of Gideon, Mennonite assembly, Chipley, Synod. I know you are a reasonable and fair man and know full well you understand my position on this and again I reiterate, before the money can be released we will have to have an apology.

Remain blessed my brother and I shall await your response.
--
Doctor xxxxxxxxxxx
[email protected]

On Fri, 29 Apr 2011 13:56 +0000, "jack " <[email protected]> wrote:
Ok, do not forget to pray for me ok, and I will surprise you, You can use western union with this details and they will confirm it with the MTCN that you will collect after payment, MTCN IS 10 DIGIT make sure yopu collect it and send it to me
the detail you are going to use to send it is Adam John UK, do this in time and pray for me bye

On Fri, 29 Apr 2011 05:26:48 , "Doctor xxxxxxxxxxxx" <[email protected]> wrote

Dear Daniel

Thank you so much for your consideration in this matter. Now my parishoners have agreed to take $2000 out of the church treasury to pay the two boys you had watching me but I don;t know how to get the money to them at this time. Please advise. Again, the invitation for you to attend our services is still open and we would love to have you visit. I understand you not wanting to reveal yourself as it would compromise your position as a professional hit man and in your line of work obscurity is the watchword.

I will await your instructions for disposition of the money.

Sincerly
--
Doctor xxxxxx xxxx
[email protected]

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:37 am

I haven't groomed a hitlad for a coordinated massbait in a long time.

Anyone mind if I try for something similar to my old Apple Dumpling Gang thing?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 4:02 am

Don't even know what that is but if its going to hurt.....I'm in.

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Mar 2011 Posts: 198

Heads up to everyone baiting him, he doesn't like to fill out WU forms. In fact he's refused to fill out the form.

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:22 pm

Well just how in the hell are you going to run a successful "murder for hire" business if you can't do the paperwork? Talk about a lazy lad....wow!

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