Chris comes out of the closet

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Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 7:58 am

So a friend gets the following email:

Quote:

I am British Gay. I stay alone. Call or write message to me, please
<snipped but a British redirect number>. I want to find my love:-(.

I decide a crappy letter like that deserves a reply. Enter Chris (who looks remarkably like Angry Anderson). Seems he had a bad time in Britain too. Bolding and comments are mine:

Quote:

Hi Caris,

I know what's it's like to lonely in Britain. I'm gay as well, and
while I was in London I felt so alone, despite a population of Millions.
I am back in Australia now, and am looking to meet other gay people
from all over the world. You'd like Australia, there's a HUGE gay scene
here, unlike that hellhole London. It's so homophobic over there, with
not a gay club in sight! (Ummm, with the possible exception of G.A.Y, Heaven & Fire perhaps???)

So Caris, tell me about yourself. When did you come out as gay? How
many men have you had sex with? Have you come out to your parents yet? you haven't even told me how old you are

What do you look like? Are you white? Black? Asian? (I've always
wanted to have a three way, with a black guy, an asian and me)... I've
attached a pic of me, hopefully you'll like it. I'm very straight
acting, with lots of tattoos. No-one suspects I'm gay. If you're as
hot as you sound, we could rim each other's asses until we explode in
pleasure! Have you ever used a butt plug? Mine is pink! And VERY
wide...

Chris

Let's see how lonely he really is Wink

Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:05 am

Quote:

butt plug…VERY wide...

Er…thanks Chrys. That would explain your oft-used photo face. And perhaps, why you're angry?

Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:16 am

I am quite convinced that this is Safe For Work even though I don't understand it ... ahem Wink

Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:21 am

The pain. THE PAIN! Shocked

Or, as an old Italian sketch goes...
"MAMMA MIA CHE DOLORE!!!!" Very Happy

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:35 am

No word from laddo yet, but I plan to make as Not safe for work as possible. will let you know if/when he writes back.

Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:41 am

Still nothing? Confused

Damn, I was hoping he´ll answer, this looked promising.

I.

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 4:29 am

I know, I thought so too. Not to worry, I suspect he's a pretend lesbian. Good thing I have amanda waiting in the wings then. Let's see if he'll bite to a woman

eta: I write back as Mandy:

Quote:

Hi Caris,

You sound lonely, I am as well. I am a 32 year old woman living in
Melbourne Australia. I've never been to Britain, but am planning on
travelling soon. I've attached a picture of me from last weekend, Hope
you like.

Love Mandy

And send him a photo of Persis Khambatta Wink

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