Royal Wedding

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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 4:48 pm

Just got my invitation to the Royal Wedding from "Lord Camberlain" himself and don't have anything appropriate to wear.

Re: OFFICIAL INVITATION TO THE ROYAL WEDDING
From:"Doctor xxxx xxxx" <[email protected]> [Add]
To:"lord camberlain office" <[email protected]> [Add]
Date:Thu, 24 Mar 2011 9:39 AM (< 1 min ago)
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Dear Lord Camberlain

Your repugnancy, regards to your counterpart Lord Chamberlain and without further ado, it gives me great pleasure to respond to this invitation in the affirmative. I feel it only appropriate to address the "dress code" issue upfront and currently as I am not presently in possession of a military uniform, a morning coat or business suit and for obvious reasons to be explained later it is not convenient for me to even try wearing either of the aformentioned garments. I am formally requesting from yourself and the Royal Court permission to wear a 100 weight flannel faux Scottish Dress Kilt with knee high wool socks, patent leather girl shoes along with maroon silk kilt sash and in place of the traditional beret, a beenie with propellor and to the maroon silk kilt sash I shall needs affix all of my military medals, Sunday school attendance pins and Volksmarching pins along with a few Disney character pins just purchased on Ebay. I shall need to know if protocol dictates that the military medals attach in position above the Volksmarching pins or vis versa as I fully intend to place the Sunday school attendance pins low and to the left of the Volksmarching pins or high and to the right of the military medals all depending of course upon the answer you provide.

The only other real problem I see and this is where I so humbly seek your expert advice along with your official approval. The stark truth is that my testes resemble a pair of flesh colored basket balls and my unusually large manflesh often confused with the reproductive organs of an equine whether mule, donkey or horse is irrelevant as all apply here as it fairly hangs a full 8.23 inches/20.575 cm. below the hemline of the knee length Kilt and is canted slightly left which surely you can see in your mind's eye places it along the interior at a lateral position about midway of my left shin. Well as you full well know being from that culture, there are no underpants worn with a Scottish Dress Kilt and that does present a sort of problem in that it is not fair to the rest of the men attending and is somewhat of a distraction to the ladies of the court in that they are used to viewing thimble sized protrusions of royal flesh somewhat akin to a bull lemming or stud hamster and what I want to avoid is being fully blamed and brought to shame for all attention being upon myself instead of the royal couple during this time of their nuptials and upon the royal family itself because for once I believe that this is not all about myself but since the Scottish Dress Kilt is the only formal attire in my closet and it is a stretch at best to consider a leopard skin loincloth held up by black leather suspenders, bare chested and accessorized with a black silk bow tie and some knee high patent leather linemans boots as even a semi formal outfit then I think it will have to be the Kilt that we go with in order to avoid having to forego the event altogether, an even that will be the highlight of my social calendar for the week in question.

Perhaps, and this is merely a suggestion, that not seating me on the front row will help curtail any distractions during the ceremony and the reciting of the vows. I don't know, you're the expert in such things and I defer to yourself, your repugnancy.

I too shall be hosting a reception for all of the bride's maids, female relatives and staff in the master bedroom at the back of the palace, a rather informal affair where I shall perform with myself starring as myself and doing a lot of my own stunts. I do look forward to being of service and do convey my regrets to the Queen and to ole Charles himself for not being able to make it to their after wedding events.

I have attempted to contact your office by phone to no avail and have dispatched a certified letter with the contents of this email requeting your most urgent reply as an opportunity such as this only comes along a few times in a lifetime.

All the best and do convey my deepest appreciation to the Queen herself for the invitation as she will likely be too busy to speak and certainly too astonished to do so.

Doctor Patrick Fitzgerald xxxx, Jr. III Esquire
[email protected]

On Thu, 24 Mar 2011 03:56 -0700, "lord camberlain office" <[email protected]> wrote:
The queen of England has invited you to the royal wedding of prince william and kate middleton.the queen has sent out nearly two thousand gold invitations.about one thousand nine hundred people ranging from family and friends,foreign dignitaries,diplomats,soldiers and charity workers,have all been asked to attend the wedding.you are eligible to be selected among the guests that will attend thequeens reception and prince charles dinner. the royal invitation with each unique royal serial number[no:21867320]will enable each of the invited guests to obtain a british visa from thier various countries.you are advised to contact the chamberlain office for enquiry like travelling arrangements,accomodation and other micelleanious matters immediatelly two weeks before the date of the wedding to avoid inconveniences.The edges of the card, which is about 10 in. by 6 in., are beveled and then gilded. The simple wording reads that the Lord Chamberlain has been "commanded by the Queen" to i nvite the holder to the ceremony. Guests are asked to wear military uniform, a morning coat or a "lounge" (business) suit. 600 of the 1,900 invitees have also been invited by the Queen to a reception immediately following the ceremony, and 300 of those are also invited to a dinner hosted by William's father, Prince Charles, later that evening at Buckingham Palace. Tags: British royalty, Buckingham Palace, Kate Middleton, London, Prince Charles, Prince William, Queen of England, royal family, Royal Wedding, royalty, UK, wedding.however ,some of the invited guests are the lucky winners of a royal lottery which the queen requested through random selection of email users around the british colonised nations. attention;urgent reply to this invitation and for further enquiries,please contact below. CONTACTS': ADDRESS; state invitation secretary,lord chamberlain's office buckingham palace,london SW1A 1AA www.officialroyalwedding2011.org,www.royal.gov.uk,www.mirror.co.uk/royal-wedding,www.britishroyals.info. www.abcnews.go.com www.british.gov.uk [email protected] +447024079374 +447024082406
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 4:50 pm

I got this in my catcher this morning too. My favourite part is how the lad copied and pasted a large portion from a news article and included the tags. Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 5:13 pm

OMG JJJingleheimerschmidt! Too funny!
Please post his reply!!!
LOL_sign

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 7:05 pm

Quote:

Your repugnancy

de-education?

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:48 pm

I had one today myself. Looks like we'll all meet in UK soon Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

I love how Lord "Camberlain" uses Yahoo mail! Laughing

Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:02 pm

hmm, sounds like a fun safari, see if we can get the lads to turn up to the royal wedding, now that would be awesome Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:26 am

that is one dumb lad if he just sent that out without actually reading it.
where do the headers point to?

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2003 Posts: 4747

Dang some people have all the luck.

419Eater is my life Joined: 10 Jul 2008 Posts: 366

Quote:

I had one today myself. Looks like we'll all meet in UK soon

Yahoo a 419 eater convention London April 28 nearest pub to the check point that rejects the invitation. Smile

p.

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 3:02 am

Haven't heard another word from Lord Camberlain......does this mean I am uninvited? All dressed up and no place to go!

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:16 pm

I just came by on the offchance of seeing if any of our lovely lads were in Royal Wedding mode, and I'm not disappointed. Love the reply.

Ask him if he's making the dress and see if you can get a photo of him wearing it:-)

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 6:37 pm

I posted that scam on Scamwarners which resulted in me getting an email from a CBS journalist.
Nothing much I could tell him though. Did any of the baits go anywhere?

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 8:52 pm

Fox News picked something up as well it appears. Good, scams need all the press they can get, warning the public!

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 9:13 pm

Not exactly a high end scammer. I don't see any real victims.