He has a dictionary and he's not afraid to use it!

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Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:28 pm

On Thursday, this arrived (emphasis added):

Quote:

I am Barrister S4m K0fi,a senior advocate of the Ghana Bar Association and the newly legal luminary to the ECOWAS and AU on refugee Matters,Ghana Chapter,and it colon that your transaction in my hands will be as save and free, and also protected as the word "best".
I am writing not just because writing comprehensively is part of the legal field,rather I am also using this as a medium to alert you that in the legal field there are more to it than for one to be called a"Lawyer".

It came to my cognizance some few days ago that you have been into some transactions in the country of Ghana,and some areas are reckoned to be rough and uncompromising,maybe due to incompetent hands or some unscrupulous people in the society who garnishes themselves as redeemer but are vampires who have chosen to pursue worldly things and forget the mission they were called upon to do.

Sir,one more point I wish to make clear to you is that paying money into too many angles are really superfluous,so it is time you reckon with competent hands, and I promise if you oblige to this advise of impeccable legal standing,things will definitely work out within the least expected time.
Sir,once more, I wish to say that it is important to have a person in the legal field ,a person who has the idea,intuition and mannerism to penetrate the difficult angles in the business society of Africa and beyond,so that your transactions could be redeemed.
Here comes a panacea to all and sundries of your worries only if you have to follow up diligently with the facts that will not only deliver your deals here,but also put a light of perfect and indelible illumination on it.
Sir,in our legal field here ,we consider a lawyer who cannot fully deliver as a devourer to his or her client, and that is why I am categorically stating that you need to take a look and live for the best.
The Position of the Attorney General"Chief Judge" is just an appointment when powers are not properly dispensed,and it is important to mingle with the lawyers that can really help you get through the hurdles of your transaction points,and that is why I am reaching you with this write up.
HonorableKofi Annan before he gained his position as the Secretary General of the United Nation(U.N), was once my client and their are many numerous to mention in corridors of power in the society, likes of Mr.Harold Tetteh-Quarshie,former Minister for Mine and Energy and many more.
Some are melodramatically enthusiastic in their dealings with clients,and it has in most cases lead to failure which has been a all round detriment to their client,and in that I do not wish to find you.
Sir,it is also important to note that there are people who can reach and talk to people in the society ,and this is not just about your profession,but rather an attribute to a well spread legal tentacle.
I am ready to help your businesses out of any Vault, Cells of the customs at the Border,Seaport, Airport,Africa Union office(AU)office,United Nations(UN) offices, and even the vaults and Banks.
Sir,some lawyers are in the system just as Princes and Princesses in Palaces, but has no say in issues of the Monarchy,and that is why I am asking that you should come and put a smile into your transactions,because I am ready to deliver.

Sir,do not delay to make known to me all the points of your transactions that demands cushioning,because I shall put a pattern which the legal field has termed as "Discovery"eureka and I wish to lend that support to your dealings.
Without any form of procrastination,I would entreat you to get back to me via this email, or the number that is inscribed herein,

I reiterate,I will deliver without any form of barricade,and with total commitment and sincerity based on mutual understanding.

I just want to see what he's like off script...

Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:56 pm

Me too.

Ten bucks he'll be even more grammatically challenged than your average lad.

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:04 am

That is his script??? Shocked

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:22 am

LOL, that made my day!

Quote:

Some are melodramatically enthusiastic in their dealings with clients,and it has in most cases lead to failure which has been a all round detriment to their client

Ya think?

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2003 Posts: 4747

If that was his script, and I think it is. It should be a real adventure in mental torture.

he could be the the mugu form of Charlie Sheen.

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 1:52 am

^^ LOL! Go get 'em. Cool

De-educate with your Torpedo of Truth! Don't forget the Tiger's Blood. Razz

Not quite a Newb Joined: 09 Mar 2008 Posts: 43

A Leo Gorcey reform/charm school honors graduate. A real Valedictionarian, for sure. ROFL

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 2:25 am

My guess: de-education -> google translate (English-to-language B) -> back through google translate (Language B-to-English) -> to lad

** SUSPENDED ** Joined: 01 Nov 2010 Posts: 1161

David Okeye Mk II?

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 10:34 am

Quote:

Sir,it is also important to note that there are people who can reach and talk to people in the society

what does that mean?

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 10:47 am

Quote:

as a devourer to his or her client

Careful now!

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:30 pm

Quote:

Here comes a panacea to all and sundries of your worries only if you have to follow up diligently with the facts that will not only deliver your deals here,but also put a light of perfect and indelible illumination on it.

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 4:51 pm

this is the kind of script I stop reading after two lines...
how shall I know what the scam is, when I understand nothing? Wink

insults and more · Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 5:09 pm

This is actually called Schlubb and Klump English, after the mooks in Sin City with pretensions to eloquence.

Quote:

Douglas Klump: The perimeters of our assignment were described to us with specificity, Mr. Shlubb. We are to deposit our cargo into the body of water which we now overlook. It was likeways made clear to us that any embellishments of said perimeters would not be advisory.
Burt Shlubb: I cannot prescribe to such a narrow interpretation of the perimeters which you now invoke, Mr. Klump.
— Sin City: Fat Man and Little Boy

ETA: Check out the Philosophy and Law Bad Writing Contest for non-lads using this language purposely and without irony:

Quote:

The move from a structuralist account in which capital is understood to structure social relations in relatively homologous ways to a view of hegemony in which power relations are subject to repetition, convergence, and rearticulation brought the question of temporality into the thinking of structure, and marked a shift from a form of Althusserian theory that takes structural totalities as theoretical objects to one in which the insights into the contingent possibility of structure inaugurate a renewed conception of hegemony as bound up with the contingent sites and strategies of the rearticulation of power.

Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 3:42 am

Lachesis wrote:

David Okeye Mk II?

My thoughts exactly! Laughing

Good old Dr David is coming up on 2 years with me and I still haven't a clue what he's rambling on about most of the time.

** SUSPENDED ** Joined: 29 Mar 2010 Posts: 94

Stunning.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 2:54 pm

Hey, Yastreb, can Barrister Slappy cunfundle him with precipitous lawyerin' promulgations of idiocratic gobbledegook? Smile

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