Addons for elderly eaters

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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 3:20 am

I have the bestest one shed. Laughing

*** BANNED *** Joined: 18 Jul 2004 Posts: 2049

leonsumbitches wrote:

Hey, I'm a firm believer in H.L. Mencken's statement: “The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate . . . .

hmmmmmmm . . . . that reminds me of a story once told by our Scottish brother VM. It went something like this . . . .

One fine sunny day in Tennessee, a group of young men, full of piss and vinegar went out for a duck hunt. One particular young dude, (who was full of himself and loved to ponce about quoting things and relating how strong and virile he was), got lucky and shot a duck. Unfortunately the dead duck fell into a farmer's field just over a fence.

Just as the young hunter was climbing over the fence to retrieve his kill an old farmer, who owned the field, drove up in his dilapidated tractor. He inquired as to what the young hunter was doing.

The young man bellowed that he had just shot a duck that had fallen in the field and he was going to retrieve his feathered kill.

The old farmer replied, 'This is my property, and you are not coming over here.'

To which the young man retorted that it was his duck and the old man could just screw off. If he didn't get out of the way he would have to 'kick his ass'.

The old farmer smiled and said, 'Apparently, you don't know how we
settle disputes in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements with the 'Three
Kick Rule.''

The young turk asked, 'What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?'

The Farmer replied, 'Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get
to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so
on back and forth until someone gives up.'

The dude quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
young man (who, coincidentally, was under 30). His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the young man's groin! and dropped him to his knees.

His second kick to the midriff sent the guy's last meal gushing from
his mouth. He was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear
end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The young firebrand summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, 'Okay, you old fök, now it's my turn.'

The old farmer smiled and said , 'Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.

Remember Leon . . ."Old age, cunning,and treachery will triumph over youth and skill every time"

Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 4:58 am

We're going to build a shed as soon as it stops raining. Any tips GH?

*** BANNED *** Joined: 18 Jul 2004 Posts: 2049

ParaNoid wrote:

We're going to build a shed as soon as it stops raining. Any tips GH?

Always keep your hammer dry Wink

Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 2:54 pm

Back on topic......................................thanks leon for finding those addons. I bookmarked them for future reference.
You know I was just teasing about your day will come. Wink

And, hey, is this pick on Tennesseans Week? Wink

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 5:31 pm

Yup, I have two sheds, glasses, and Leon young whippersnapper is a baastaaad.

Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 5:51 pm

I am enjoying my relative youth, but also look forward to the day when I can legitimately have 2 sheds and more importantly, the time to enjoy them. I have a feeling I'm going to be disgracefully quirky in my dotage - respectable to the outside world, then using one of the sheds to brew hooch. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 8:41 pm

When I grew up (read "senior citizen") I always wanted to be like Maggie Kuhn who founded the Gray Panthers -- feisty and speaking out on whatever I felt like it.

Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:17 pm

Yep, jokes...good ones, mind you. Laughing

Bi-focals, but single vision contacts for when on the cycle (which I was hoping to have out this week...snow sucks)

IBTL

Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:45 pm

I'm telling you it is a huge conspiracy.They are making all the fonts smaller on purpose,so that the eyeglass makers can clean up!Not just computers-the conspiracy extends to books,newspapers,and magazines.

Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 12:24 am

Yep, it is a conspiracy! Wink

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